Performance Horror Stories

[blintz]

I know this has been done before, but I still love it!!

Okay, here's mine:

A girl won concerto competition with Tchaikovsky Bb concerto, and she's super nervous for her performance. 

So she comes out on stage, splats the first chord, splats the second chord, splats the third chord, then throws up all over the piano!!   Is that priceless or what?  Oh and for a great comedy act on this concerto, search for the monty python version of it on youtube.

[thalbergmad]

My favourite is the old one about Henselt.

Apparantly he was due to give a concert in front of the Czar of Russia. Being of a nervous disposition, he was smoking a cigar backstage to calm his nerves. Legend has it that when the concert began, he forgot to dispose of it and played the first part of the concert puffing away.

The Czar was amused.

Thal

[blintz]

Hey Thalbergmad.

You're the only person I recognize from last time I was here.  Back before the site changed, I was Thalberg.  Remember me?

I can't get back in with my old username, so now I'm a food.

[nicco]

I know this has been done before, but I still love it!!

Okay, here's mine:

A girl won concerto competition with Tchaikovsky Bb concerto, and she's super nervous for her performance. 

So she comes out on stage, splats the first chord, splats the second chord, splats the third chord, then throws up all over the piano!!   Is that priceless or what?  Oh and for a great comedy act on this concerto, search for the monty python version of it on youtube.

I heard a similar one about a girl playing the Schumann concerto. When she got to the cadenza she threw up on the keys. Yum.

[jakev2.0]

Funnier would be hurling during the second movement of Saint Saens Concerto 2...

[henrah]

I saw Christina Kiss play as part of her complete Liszt cycle at Carnegie Hall, and near the end she cut her finger somehow and there was blood all over the keyboard 

[cygnusdei]

Did she get to keep the piano? 

[thalbergmad]

Hey Thalbergmad.

You're the only person I recognize from last time I was here.  Back before the site changed, I was Thalberg.  Remember me?

I can't get back in with my old username, so now I'm a food.

Greetings.

Ask nils for your old name back.

Then we have both Thalberg and Thalbergmad.

Thal

[ada]

Maybe that should be Thalberg and Mad Thalberg.

And for someone who believe it or not has had a promising career as a concert pianist cut short by pathological nerves (ok among other factors) I don't find these stories at all amusing 

[pianowolfi]

Maybe that should be Thalberg and Mad Thalberg.

And for someone who believe it or not has had a promising career as a concert pianist cut short by pathological nerves (ok among other factors) I don't find these stories at all amusing 

Yeah of course they have two sides. But I am sure there are ways to overcome nervosity. Better, to take it as a source of energy.

[ahinton]

Maybe that should be Thalberg and Mad Thalberg.

And for someone who believe it or not has had a promising career as a concert pianist cut short by pathological nerves (ok among other factors) I don't find these stories at all amusing 

I didn't realise that. I'm not being funny, believe me, but did you try to get help for that? My piano professor at conservatoire in London (yes, I actually had one, although I was such a bad pianist that he ended up leaving there to go - wait for it - to AUSTRALIA, where he is still!) used to say that I should be nervous at all times when playing, even when practising, because it was important to have the right kind of nerves when playing in front of an audience - and in the inevitable pause after that, he added something along the lines of "well, when you practise, you have an audience, even if it comprises only one person - yourself; you're listening, aren't you?". Of course I never had either the ability or the desire to be a performer, but I still managed to learn a great deal from this teacher.

Best,

Alistair

[invictious]

A performance horror story?

Sure.

Listening and watching me play on a piano recital.

[henrah]

Did she get to keep the piano?

Not that I know of. Instead, a man came out and wiped the keyboard clean, only to have her bleed all over it again during an encore


I bet Steinway were freaking out 

[Bob]

I have one.

I prepared an audition piece.  The setup of the audition was where everyone stands in a line outside the door where you play.  Everyone auditioning can hear you play.  I had done my best but knew I couldn't quite play the piece -- but what the heck, they purposely pick more difficult pieces to spread out the abilities of the performers. 

The first whammy -- I was the last person in line.  Just about everyone -- in my mind every single one -- pretty much nailed the piece.   The first person played, and I was impressed.  Second person plays -- same thing.  Third person plays and comes out worried that they missing one note.  Fourth person nails it... fifth...  I'm standing there just hoping to make it through the piece.   Sixth person... seventh.... on and on...  This was not a good way to lead into the audition of course.  On the other hand, being last, I probably didn't have anyone listening to me.  Some of the listeners/auditioners outside the door would criticize the performers -- they are playing it too slow, they missed a crescendo, that's not they way so-and-so does it and they know the judge likes that performer, they chipped a note there, etc.

The second whammy -- I was new to the place and didn't know what to expect.  I walk into the audition room and see three audition judges -- two of which are nationally/internationally known figures.  I had only seen one on CD covers.  That was a nice, surreal shock.

Third whammy -- Actually playing through the piece.  Usually I can just shake off nerves and play as I have practiced.  However, in that case, there was that deep type of nervousness that can come up.  And then when I started to play I remember my body felt very different -- I couldn't "mesh" with the instrument.  It felt like my body didn't know what I was doing, like my hands were the hands of a beginner despite years and years of practice.  Fortunately, I only have a vague memory of struggling through the piece, already knowing what the outcome would be, already knowing I was doing my best, fighting the nerves,  was going to make a bad impression, and still had to go through with it all despite that.

And it was raining outside too. 

Those experiences definitely keep you humble.  I can always look back and know that things can't get much worse than that which is a plus for the future.  (but the next time might come close, you never know...)

[blintz]

Oh, poor, poor Bob.  I've always liked you.  you were here last time I was here (I've been gone for over a year--I was Thalberg)

Well, Bob, if it makes you feel better, I once played for Menehem Pressler.  He's rather famous.  And guess what?  HE LAUGHED OUT LOUD during my audition THREE TIMES.  It was so humiliating.  What an ass.

[cygnusdei]

Damn, a friend of mine also auditioned for Pressler and he told him to just quit the piano. And my friend was really good, too!

[blintz]

Oh, that makes me feel better.  You see, I was playing the Brahms Handel Variations and in Variation 13 I did decrescendos at the ends of my phrases, which my piano teacher had instructed, but which was quite unorthodox.  Looking back that was really stupid, so I suppose I see why he laughed.  But still, what an ass.

[Bob]

I think a bad performance can have postive effects.  You toughen up -- You know what the worst is from expereience.  And it teaches you to look critically at yourself for improvement.  And you know what the range is for "gambling" with a performance.

[bflatminor24]

Lol, similar to the girl bleeding on the piano, here's mine:

So I'm giving a pretty sizeable solo recital. Beethoven's Appassionata, Chopin Scherzo 2, Bach G minor prelude and Fugue, Debussy Prelude "Brouillards" and Rachmaninoff Preludes 23/2 and 23/5 with Liszt's La Campanella as an encore, and guess what?

During the Appassionata, I cut my finger on the damn Db and started bleeding. I had to continue to stay in rhythm and to fool the audience, so I kept playing.

To make it worse, my page turner was this very attractive young girl. She stared at me in horror as my finger bled profusely all over the span of the keys. She looked absolutely disgusted.

Talk about the apex of embarrassment.

~Max~

[molto-marcato]

Hehe, i like that one. I always wanted to practice until i bled onto the piano. Never happened. maybe if i start working on the appassionata  :-).

[mattgreenecomposer]

Oh this is a great topic!
I like what someone else in this forum said..."It keep's you humble."  So true when it happens to you.
mattgreenecomposer.com

[lavalse]

I just read a good story about Schnabel.  During a Concerto he 'went one way' and the orchestra 'went another' - the conductor was horrified but Schnabel just stopped, grinned and shrugged his shoulders - walked over to confer with the conductor then started again in sync.   Very cool...

[invictious]

Lol, similar to the girl bleeding on the piano, here's mine:

So I'm giving a pretty sizeable solo recital. Beethoven's Appassionata, Chopin Scherzo 2, Bach G minor prelude and Fugue, Debussy Prelude "Brouillards" and Rachmaninoff Preludes 23/2 and 23/5 with Liszt's La Campanella as an encore, and guess what?

During the Appassionata, I cut my finger on the damn Db and started bleeding. I had to continue to stay in rhythm and to fool the audience, so I kept playing.

To make it worse, my page turner was this very attractive young girl. She stared at me in horror as my finger bled profusely all over the span of the keys. She looked absolutely disgusted.

Talk about the apex of embarrassment.

~Max~

This also happened to me once, except the pieces I played weren't that advanced.

Pain.

[kd]

During the Appassionata, I cut my finger on the damn Db and started bleeding.

How does this happen? The keys don't have exceptionally sharp edges after all?

[Kassaa]

How does this happen? The keys don't have exceptionally sharp edges after all?

Old and used piano's can have .

[elevateme_returns]

I know this has been done before, but I still love it!!

Okay, here's mine:

A girl won concerto competition with Tchaikovsky Bb concerto, and she's super nervous for her performance. 

So she comes out on stage, splats the first chord, splats the second chord, splats the third chord, then throws up all over the piano!!   Is that priceless or what?  Oh and for a great comedy act on this concerto, search for the monty python version of it on youtube.

is the video the one of richter in padlocks?

[elevateme_returns]

Damn, a friend of mine also auditioned for Pressler and he told him to just quit the piano. And my friend was really good, too!

what??? Thats shocking!!! Pressler is absolutely sh*t!! have you heard his mendelssohn d minor piano trio with beaux arts trio? ugggh his technique is terrible!! what a twat

[elevateme_returns]

Old and used piano's can have .

plus, some people hit the keys so hard that their fingers start to bleed. that used to happen to me. they go really red, then it hurts like hell then they start bleeding

[ryan2189]

I have a really good one....

Last November I played with my school choir at Avery Fisher Hall. Our opening piece was Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring, some choral arrangement. I get up on stage and there is a piano intro for the piece. I begin, and two measures into it, the stage guys turn a fan on at stage right. It created this cross breeze and all of my music blew off of the piano, in front of 3,000 people! Good thing was that the choir had not started singing yet, so I didn't mess them up. I got up and walked as gracefully as possible picking up my sheets. I was hoping that one of the singers (or the conductor) would have run over and retrieved them as I tried to recall it from memory. After the twenty minutes on stage or so, I walked off and found out that within that time I had lost my voice, and gotten a cold as well as a migraine, all because of a stupid cross breeze.

[thalberg]

is the video the one of richter in padlocks?

Yes it is.  Isn't it just too much?  I mean, padlocks!  It's funny though because it's so true--pianists really do enact major acts of heroism on stage.  What we do is not easy! 

[jepoy]

the previous weekend was my performance horror story. i had to play two piano solos and three piano ensembles in this annual recital. i actually prepared two months for this and was pretty much ready but two days before the recital, i got really ill (high on fever, lost my voice to sore throat) but couldn't backout because my parts were essential to the entire programme, especially the ensembles.

on the day of the recital, i didn't feel any better so i swallowed a lot of meds and pain relievers just so i could make it. i felt fine. problem was i wasn't coherent. i tried focusing on the music but my fingers just wanted to sleep. so did i. the longer the show went on, the more tired i got. i messed up my parts pretty bad.

i had no time to lament over the incident. as soon as i went home, i just went to deep sleep and rested for the next whole week.

[soliloquy]

The most annoying thing is getting a REALLY bad itch on your head or neck and not being able to scratch it because you're playing some nasty piece with no rests =/

[Bob]

And sweat.   Slowly dripping down.

It doesn't matter where the itch is.

Or even rests.  You're on display.  You're not supposed to scratch things.

[dinosaurtales]

I caught myself drooling once.  I was accompanying a choir and was apparently really getting into it - when I noticed this big long drool coming out of my mouth.  I have no idea how many people noticed it.  Yuck.

[henrah]

Not a performance related story, but related to drooling:

I was riding the tube back to our London flat after an interview at TVU Ealing and woke up suddenly realising I was just drooling, so I quickly 'slurped' and caught it in my hand. I think it was phantom drool though, cos after a while of complete embarassment, I realised my hand was dry :S

[anda]

i've got a good one (and recent... still hurts!):

i was supposed to play some contemporary works in a recital, and one work in particular was bugging me - mostly because it wasn't easy (presto, and way too many notes for my taste...), and because it was full of turning points (you know, certain points that can easily lead you from any section to any section, so that the work duration ranges from 2 to 30 minutes...) and also because the composer was in the audience...

add a prior horror month of daily 14-16 hours of work, and way more public appearances than i can handle...

well, i got on stage, all jitters and adrenaline, undecided what to do about a certain 10 bars passage that i didn't know too well: use a turn point to go around it, or do the right thing and try to break it live... at the last moment, i decided to avoid the peril, used the turn point to get to the next section, and missed the immediate next turn point only to see my hands playing the final cadenza! nobody except the composer didn't realize i had skipped several section - just about half the work- but it took me some days to get out of shock state...