Performance Destroying Jiters

[photowriters]

I a senior citizen, but I am new in the performance or jury arena. Today I completed my second evaluation at the end of a semester's instruction, and I have come to the rather upsetting conclusion that I have a real problem with performance or evaluation or jury nerves. It's not like I did not face critical performance evaluations before I retired. I was a commercial airline pilot and underwent tests of my proficiency in normal and emergency situations every six months. Likewise I flew daily combat flights over one of the most heavily defended air spaces in the world.

In golf, I know how to use the nervous energy and not let it destroy a round, but I don't have a clue how to do that in music. Put me at the keyboard with something that I can play flawlessly in the practice room or in my living room, and my fingers turn to rubber coated Jell-O. I am open to all suggestions in regards to relaxing and just enjoying the music that one plays during a performance or jury evaluation. 


Regards,

Bob

[amanfang]

I would recommend Barry Green's book, "The Inner Game of Music."

[pianowolfi]

I a senior citizen, but I am new in the performance or jury arena. Today I completed my second evaluation at the end of a semester's instruction, and I have come to the rather upsetting conclusion that I have a real problem with performance or evaluation or jury nerves. It's not like I did not face critical performance evaluations before I retired. I was a commercial airline pilot and underwent tests of my proficiency in normal and emergency situations every six months. Likewise I flew daily combat flights over one of the most heavily defended air spaces in the world.

In golf, I know how to use the nervous energy and not let it destroy a round, but I don't have a clue how to do that in music. Put me at the keyboard with something that I can play flawlessly in the practice room or in my living room, and my fingers turn to rubber coated Jell-O. I am open to all suggestions in regards to relaxing and just enjoying the music that one plays during a performance or jury evaluation. 


Regards,

Bob

This is a very interesting statement. To me it shows that the nervous stress on performing musicians actually can reach or even beat the stress of an airline pilot and that dealing with the forces that can appear in a performance situation can actually be one of the biggest challenges. To me the solution seems more and more to become really founded and individual in your interpretation. The feeling of being in a "competition" with other musicians is after a negative illusion to me (though I am still often fighting against it, in my weak moments). There is place for all musicians on this planet. This is one of the important thoughts I learned in a summer academy in 2001, in a seminar by Dr. Claudio Weiss (awareness management). The profound feeling of having to say something that is worth to be said by you can't be replaced by any recipe of how to overcome performance anxiety.

[hyrst]

It seems to me that Pianowolfi is totally correct. 
As a pilot, things were more black and white.  You knew you would land the plane safely, etc.  You have done it hundreds of times.  You know the routine to follow if something is not working correctly.  It is entirely mechanical and you can do it with no emotion - an automatum relating with a machine that is mostly predicatable.  If one thing goes wrong, you know what to do about it and you know what possiblities there are as a consequence of one thing not working right - how to compensate. 

Music is not like this.  It requires tuning into the feelings rather than the logic - or that is what we are taught.  We are always wondering if we have it quite right - there is no knowing for sure that we flew the course and landed safely.  It is not black and white - we think we are subject to other people's assessments  and we can't know what they are until after the event.  Everything is a bit grey and uncertain. 

Anxiety is the result of feeling we do not have control in a particular situation.  The areas we might be stressed about include other people's opinions, controlling our motor responses under stress, feeling we really know the course of the music, the subjectivity of the outcome and our future learning, etc.  Thus, familiarity, exposure  and experience are fundamental to working through these nerves.  Acceptance of them is part of it, too.

Be secure in your own interpretation - value that as valid no matter what other people comment about it.  Work at things until they are black and white if necessary - not only this is the correct note here, but this is the correct movement and this is the correct tone, etc.  This gives you the benefit of feeling like you know you are doing the right thing and if you have practiced with much emotion and listening, you are probably going to play pretty well and with expression because you have learnt 'how' already. 

Perhaps the more you can stay with the logical rather than the feelings the better for the learning phase.  Good luck with it - and remember everyone goes through this kind of tension.  Be proud that you are doing this.

[slobone]

I think the biggest fear that any pianist has is -- MAKING MISTAKES!!! Oooohoohoo!!!

We're so indoctrinated about not making a mistake that we often can't think about any other aspect of the music. This may or may not be an effective strategy in the practice room, but it is certainly counterproductive in the performance hall.

Try telling yourself, mistakes are beyond my control. I'm going to do the best I can to play the piece as I think it should be played, and if I hit a wrong note here or there, so what.

If you're having fun and expressing yourself through the music, the audience will have a much better time than if you played a mechanically perfect but soulless performance. And if the judges don't feel the same way -- to hell with them.

[keypeg]

I wonder if it's fear or something else.  I got invited to sing in front of an audience unexpectedly once.  I had sung the song hundrds of times, knew how I wanted to sing it, and it went very well.  I was centred, and the audience was moved.  But I thought that I'd make a fool of myself when I went to sit down because my legs had disappeared.  There was this wobbly rubber and they shook.   I was actually scared that my legs would collapse if I took a step.  What was that?

[slobone]

I believe the scientific name is jitterus performicus...

[hyrst]

I know we want to avoid a mechanical, soulless performance - but I think it takes some experience to play with the expression we feel at the time rather than only that which we have felt and learnt in the practice room.  It is the best thing in the world to play with passion - and our audience will feel the difference.  However, what if we are inexpereinced and / or rather nervous and all we can feel is the jitters and jellies?  What if we can't yet tap into that well of passion?  Sometimes I find that all I feel is nigh to terror - I wish it wasn't, but...  I can't get past the feeling to the images and heart of my music.  My head is a grey fuzz and everything is swimming around me.  My lifeline has been knowing in my head what I need to do this instant with this note.  The expression is still there because I have listened and practiced until I know what I want to do with it.  Sometimes the best thing is to get away from the feelings if all you can feel is the nerves.  At least, that is what I have found.  Solid understanding is consistent but emotions and passions are far harder to control.  If all you can feel is nerves and you play from your feelings, that is what your audience will experience, too, I think.