Music Jokes

[cherub_rocker1979]

Do you know any jokes about music or musicians?  Here's one:

What is the difference between a double bass and a coffin?  The difference is that when it comes to the double bass, the dead person is on the outside.

[opus57]

 What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

       1. The viola burns longer.
       2. The viola holds more beer.
       3. You can tune the violin.


We all know that a viola is better than a violin because it burns longer. But why does it burn longer?

    It's usually still in the case.

[healdie]

how many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: 4 one to change the bulb the others to sing about how great the old one was

[g.w.k]

No offense...but I don't find these jokes particularly amusing. 

G.W.K

[healdie]

Q. Whats the difference between a guitarist and savings bonds?

A. Savings bonds will eventually mature and earn money

[ahinton]

Do you know any jokes about music or musicians?  Here's one:

What is the difference between a double bass and a coffin?  The difference is that when it comes to the double bass, the dead person is on the outside.

Sorry to spoil the "fun" here, but when the double bass player is Corrado Canonici and when the performance is that of my string quintet, for example, the "joke" folds flat as can be, just as does that about any viola player joke in the face of the astonishing achievement of the great Levine Andrade in the same work and amply elsewhere. These kinds of joke are all very well, but they can take no account of individual players such as these.

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

Great joke Hinty, i is splittin me sides.

Thal

[ahinton]

Great joke Hinty, i is splittin me sides.

Well, I never! I had no idea that you actually had sides to split.

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

How do you get a double bass player off your doorstep?

Pay for the pizza.

Thal

[ahinton]

How do you get a double bass player off your doorstep?

Pay for the pizza.

That's all very well, but surely it's all that pizza that (in part, at least) ensures that you have no sides to split (as I implied earlier)...

Best,

Alistair

[frigo]

How do you shut up a pianist and how do you do the same with a guitarist?

Pianist - take him his sheet music
Guitarist - give him sheet music
 

[cherub_rocker1979]

A violinist asks a couple in an Italian restaurant:
-Would you like some Paganini?
-Yes, we would love some, but don't put too much tomato sauce.