For whom do you play ?

[pianonut]

dear Mayla,  you ask very profound questions and get some really great answers.  i agreed most with lostinidlewonder.  it seems that there is a spiritual answer (which DOES mean that we should think about right/wrong).  For instance, what is it that we are striving so hard for?  Is it money?  Is it fame? Or, is it purely the love we have of music and the giving of ourselves to God and audience.

There are other "gods" and legends are built around Liszt and Pagannini (and others) for exalting the "legends."  Romantic music is often following some idea (ie Faust) that shows the struggle of mankind to strike out on his/her own and define good/evil for themselves.  This leads to music that is often very self exaltant, but still 'beautiful.'

IMO when you CHOOSE to play for God, often you come up against many difficulties that you would not if you choose humanism.  There is a price to pay for everything.  What i have learned in life thus far is that money can't buy love, fame can't buy happiness, and "gods" cannot force you into their will.  You have to choose to fall into their sway - and then be caught in virtuosity without struggle.  I say, choose your fight.  Choose good.  And, then be prepared for lots of practice, lots of prayer, and lots of mental choices ( instead of going by feel alone).

The price of trading your soul for the devil is that you become lost.  it's harder and harder to find your way back.  and, there is much more fear in that than in deciding to take a simpler way.  The Psalms of David describe his joy in praising God for all that he has done, made, and things that he continually does for us.  Summed up in grace.  Grace is a big one for me.  It makes my playing joyful. 

[Mayla]

WOW, okay... you people are incredible.  You all have grabbed my full attention.  I have gone back and read through from the beginning of this thread and it is difficult to describe how I feel.  I appreciate so much what everyone has offered. 

It hit me just yesterday, as I was walking and thinking on this thread and the things people have said, that there are probably many different, pertinent answers to this question.  It doesn't have to be just one thing (for some reason this is kind of a big realization for me  ).  My expectations and my viewpoint on what I am doing have been broadened through reading your posts.

I really hope I do not forget this lesson... which I think is only a beginning of something.

Mayla

[Karli]

My desire is not such to play for people whom believe they appreciate music, my desire is rather to play for those whom need music.  My aim is not that of pleasing the intellect, but rather that of feeding the soul.

[opus10no2]

So pretentious...

[nia_kurniati]

Mostly I play by imagine about something or someone which real or not real. I want to talk but it didn't come out from my mouth so I bring it out by playing.
I dont know if people can understand it my feeling because I think people have their own mind when hear a song.
So yes I agree that this is spritual thing at least for me (I am not a concert player).

I am just glad that we have this piano thing to express our feeling.

This thread is very interesting, I couldnt help not to say anything ..

Btw is there the Bernhard in this thread (page 1), someone that wish to see again?

[slobone]

I play for the neighbors. Oh, not my real neighbors, who I think hate it when I'm practicing  , but imaginary neighbors who truly appreciate beautiful music sensitively played. And who are too carried away to notice any mistakes...

[rachfan]

The question: For whom do you play?

I have two answers to the question actually.  As a long-time amateur pianist, I haven't played in public for years, quite honestly.  But I remain ever passionately involved with the piano and its literature, specializing more and more in the Late Romantics.  Practicing is most often a solitary and lonely activity, but also a transformational pursuit.  Piano has always been a very strong force in my life.  I find that life affects practicing and performing and practicing and performing affect living. 

So my first answer is when either practicing or performing at home, I always consider my "audience" to be the composer.  I like to think of the composer as sitting on one of the sofas in my living room listening intently and critically to every note I play.  After all, my primary objective is to serve the composer to the best of my ability in playing his/her music.  I take that as being a very serious and solemn obligation.  When I struggle with a technical issue, my mind conjures either of the two artist-teachers I studied with at length, depending on the problem.  Somehow this always helps me to overcome the obstacle more effectively.  After that brief mental "visitation", it's just the composer and me again for the duration.  I believe that this concept of "audience" is what the older generation of artists and pedagogues referred to when they'd use the phrase "communing with the masters". 

My current project has been the music of Sergei Bortkiewicz who died in 1952.  His music soon fell into obscurity, was not heard for decades, and the performance practices were all but lost.  As I prepare any of his pieces, I think carefully about matters of interpretation and their justifications in the scores.  To me, that's a weighty responsibility.  So imagining the composer being in my living room keeps me and my interpretations honest.  And as I make recordings for posting here, I want my playing to be convincing and compelling in order to play a modest role in helping to champion this composer's music.   

My second answer to the question has more to do with transcending the solitary pursuit of the musical aesthetic and sharing the music with others.  I find that the Audition Room here at PianoStreet provides a wonderful "electronic concert hall".  The range of pianists here in the audience is broad--everyone from student beginners to concert artists from around the world.  Over the past few years I've posted many recordings for this audience.  Some have created a favorable stir, while a few others have drawn some criticisms--always constructive, I should add.  That's a positive thing, part of life-long learning really.  And when you think about it, it's no different for a professional artist out on the tour receiving differing reviews from the music critics at venues along the way.  So I'm grateful to have the opportunity to contribute recordings here for others to enjoy, hopefully.                 

[alessandro]

Dears,
I presume I don't add something very different to what Ted and then Bernard said on the forum, but I do feel indeed kind of the same way (and that's a pleasant thing to notice).   So, I'm more let's say Ted-like then Mayla-like.  I don't like playing for other people.  The things I like in life are mainly piano-music and lying in the sun.  I'm a very selfish type of guy.  And I find myself mainly playing the piano for myself, for my pleasure, the pleasure of the sound, the pleasure of the music.  I find myself sometimes playing for imaginary audiences; a friend, or two or three friends.  But I don't like playing for people that are in the same room, that are actually 'there'.  Only the thought of it makes me tremble, shake and sweat.  I strangely don't mind the thought that people, since I often play with opened windows, that passers-by would here the music, on the contrary, I hope they enjoy... but a physically present audience ; I don't like it.   I like playing when I'm alone.  And I like listening to music alone.  Those are the best experiences...
Again, a very interesting question Mayla.  You must be so clever.
Kind greetings. 

[pianoperformer]

This is such an interesting question, and I have so many thoughts on it that I don’t think I can express them all here. Note that the following are merely my own musings, and they may not make sense or may even seem silly. But the nature of this thread and the deepness of the thoughts on this matter call me to respond.

I agree mostly with everything that Mayla has said. I can even identify with a lot of it. I think that I should play music for the sake of the music, or for God. I believe that music is really something divine and sometimes I wonder whether we can really give it its due and really perform it without inspiration from above. When I think of that, I wonder how much the musician really matters.

Some have said that they use music to express themselves. But that doesn’t matter enough for me. Sure, I have done it, especially when practicing privately, but I doubt the audience cares how I feel. But more so, perhaps the music should be performed to express the glory of the universe and of creation. In such a case, perhaps it could be said the musician is merely a tool to this end. The musician must practice so that, going by this analogy, the tool functions properly, but the inspiration and the interpretation cannot be practiced.

This makes me feel guilty though. I admit that I want to be a great pianist, as I know many people do. To what else do we aspire if not to be great? But in this view, it is too much about us and not enough about that which I just mentioned. Maybe that’s why some of the greatest pianists of our time are sometimes said to be virtuosic technically, but poor in interpretation.

But I don’t know to what we aspire if it is not to be great. Or maybe it is to express the music in the purest way possible, without the constraints of our technical ability.

But mostly I see this as only applying to classical music, and perhaps not to what others have mentioned as regards playing for parties and so forth. But then, I see classical music as the purest and highest of the musical forms, with no offense to those who prefer other forms.

Therefore, to attempt to summarize, I find a conflict between what I feel should be, and what often is the case for myself. It saddens me and strikes me with guilt, but I don’t yet know how to resolve the two.

What really does matter in the long-run, after all, is not ourselves but our expression of that music. The music is above time, but we are not.

[kard]

How do you guys manage all this thinking    When you wake up in the morning do you have a "Things I learned yesterday" list?
I am the thinking type as well, but it got annoying. I'm resolving to stop absorbing intentionally for any significant period of time. If I learn something, I learn it and put it in the box. <_< lets hope it works.

To answer your question, I play for myself.
Why should I go out of my way to tailor my time and effort for people who would bless me and condemn me in the same breath? 
It's like reading a really good book. It opens ones mind up to many images and movements...It's very special. I guess it does make sense to want to share that, but in light of my own experiences, sharing is not the primary aim of all this effort.