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Topic: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....  (Read 6525 times)

Offline pmz310

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the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
on: June 12, 2008, 12:28:13 AM
sorry, i couldnt resist haha
"Lets put a smile on that face of yours" -Heath Ledger

Offline ramseytheii

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #1 on: June 12, 2008, 01:10:22 AM
Legend has it, at the ultra-competitive Juilliard of the 1950's, pianists would hide razor blades in between the keys of the practice room pianos, to cut up their rivals fingers.  I don't think it is actually true.

Charles Rosen tells a story (which now I can't find in my books) about two students sitting in the front row of one of his concerts, I believe it was the Brahms second concerto; right before a particularly difficult passage, he heard one of them say, "Watch this," to his friend, and of course screwed the whole thing up.

Walter Ramsey


Offline lostinidlewonder

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #2 on: June 12, 2008, 02:05:08 AM
Tune a few of their notes to different keys ;)
"The biggest risk in life is to take no risk at all."
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Offline rc

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #3 on: June 12, 2008, 02:05:52 AM
I once witnessed, at a student recital, a kid goes up to the piano and starts playing something by Bach.  Up comes father, standing a little ways away with his fancy camera: *click* *FLASH*, he takes a picture.  I can understand that, it's just a picture and shouldn't distract the kids playing much.

...But the next 20 or so pictures sure did the trick!  Kid soon lost track of the playing, and had to stop/start a few times, all the while pops is merrily taking pictures...  Totally oblivious that he's ruining his sons moment. ::)

It was painful to watch.

Offline lostinidlewonder

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #4 on: June 12, 2008, 02:08:14 AM
At least they could look back in their family album, "Look son this is where you stuffed up, look at your face!"
"The biggest risk in life is to take no risk at all."
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Offline rc

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #5 on: June 12, 2008, 02:34:42 AM
"Hah, that's funny pops. Oh that reminds me, we're sending you off to a retirement home.  This will be your room :-*"

Offline pmz310

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #6 on: June 12, 2008, 02:48:03 AM
i think the best way is to go at their hands with a huge hammer ;)
"Lets put a smile on that face of yours" -Heath Ledger

Offline general disarray

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #7 on: June 12, 2008, 02:21:49 PM
Legend has it, at the ultra-competitive Juilliard of the 1950's, pianists would hide razor blades in between the keys of the practice room pianos, to cut up their rivals fingers.  I don't think it is actually true.


Walter Ramsey




Uh huh, this one has been floating about for years.  I heard it occurred at Indiana in the 1960s with two students of Pressler who were vicious rivals.  It was the Schumann Concerto that became "scored" for piano, orchestra and razor blades -- especially for the pianist's opening jagged, slicey chords.  Yeech.
" . . . cross the ocean in a silver plane . . . see the jungle when it's wet with rain . . . "

Offline lucylucy

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #8 on: June 12, 2008, 03:17:04 PM
?? Sorry i don't understand the topic

Offline tds

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #9 on: June 12, 2008, 04:32:30 PM
your coming in here... :D ;D
dignity, love and joy.

Offline pianochick93

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #10 on: June 13, 2008, 08:45:19 AM
?? Sorry i don't understand the topic

pmz is asking what is the best way to sabotage a pianist...i.e. stop them being able to play.
h lp! S m b dy  st l   ll th  v w ls  fr m  my  k y b  rd!

I am an imagine of your figmentation.

Offline invictious

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #11 on: June 13, 2008, 09:25:00 AM
Tell them to play Fur Elise and Fantaisie-Impromptu
Bach - Partita No.2
Scriabin - Etude 8/12
Debussy - L'isle Joyeuse
Liszt - Un Sospiro

Goal:
Prokofiev - Toccata

>LISTEN<

Offline pmz310

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #12 on: June 13, 2008, 01:24:45 PM
when i mean sabotage, i mean physically sabotage haha
"Lets put a smile on that face of yours" -Heath Ledger

Offline tds

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #13 on: June 13, 2008, 05:16:44 PM
when i mean sabotage, i mean physically sabotage haha

u violent lil thang!
dignity, love and joy.

Offline Essyne

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #14 on: June 13, 2008, 06:09:14 PM
Play lots of chords that them CRINGE in the practice room adjacent to them (well, that's what I did yesterday to piss all of them off :P).
"A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song."
                                                 - Chinese Proverb -

Offline pmz310

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #15 on: June 13, 2008, 06:32:34 PM
u violent lil thang!


haha you dont even know ;)
"Lets put a smile on that face of yours" -Heath Ledger

Offline pianogeek_cz

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #16 on: June 13, 2008, 06:37:04 PM
pmz, are you, by any chance, entering  a competition in the near future? ;D
Be'ein Tachbulot Yipol Am Veteshua Berov Yoetz (Without cunning a nation shall fall,  Salvation Come By Many Good Counsels)

Offline tds

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #17 on: June 13, 2008, 06:54:44 PM
pmz, are you, by any chance, entering  a competition in the near future? ;D

n perhaps we can shorten one of his fingers? *tries to help his thread* ;) ;D ;D
dignity, love and joy.

Offline pmz310

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #18 on: June 13, 2008, 06:55:25 PM
maybe, but you will never know dawg haha!!!
"Lets put a smile on that face of yours" -Heath Ledger

Offline tds

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #19 on: June 13, 2008, 07:06:22 PM
maybe, but you will never know dawg haha!!!

only half an inch, please!!

which finger? hmm..pinkie d smallest, so it would hurt less..
dignity, love and joy.

Offline tds

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #20 on: June 14, 2008, 12:12:12 PM
sorry, i couldnt resist haha

its ok, we'll help you. left or right pinkie?
dignity, love and joy.

Offline communist

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #21 on: June 20, 2008, 11:54:02 PM
make them play WII boxing that should do the trick  :D
"The stock markets go up and down, Bach only goes up"

-Vladimir Feltsman

Offline tanman

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #22 on: June 25, 2008, 11:00:38 PM
I don't even want to know why you want to know...

Remember, imitation is the sincerest form of identity theft.

Offline lostinidlewonder

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #23 on: June 26, 2008, 02:39:29 PM
Tell them to play Fur Elise and Fantaisie-Impromptu
That combination always reminds me of a notorious post on piano forum:)
"The biggest risk in life is to take no risk at all."
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Offline chopininov

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #24 on: June 26, 2008, 04:11:34 PM
Take all the ivory, or plastic, off the keys so the wood part shows and hope they get splinters.

Loosen the legs so the piano squeaks when it moves. Most effective when they are playing pieces like Rach Prelude Op. 3 No. 2.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Offline tompilk

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #25 on: June 26, 2008, 09:54:58 PM
I saw brendel a month ago and his piano stool squeaked all through the first half. I'm sure it put him off because he had to stop due to a memory lapse in the Mozart... a technician came on to tighten some part of the stool and it was fine after.
But I rekon that must be so annoying... whenever you get to a good bit and move around, the stool squeaks!
Working on: Schubert - Piano Sonata D.664, Ravel - Sonatine, Ginastera - Danzas Argentinas

Offline chopininov

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #26 on: June 27, 2008, 02:51:12 AM
To me, it's the equivalent of a leaky faucet in a quiet room.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Offline tanman

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #27 on: June 27, 2008, 12:46:24 PM
That actually happened to me at a recital. The bench kept squeaking, and it made me screw up the Chopin Ballade 1. Really embarrassing.
Remember, imitation is the sincerest form of identity theft.

Offline dnephi

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #28 on: June 27, 2008, 04:35:19 PM
Spike their drink with 3 200mg caffeine pills.
For us musicians, the music of Beethoven is the pillar of fire and cloud of mist which guided the Israelites through the desert.  (Roughly quoted, Franz Liszt.)

Offline pelajarpiano

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #29 on: June 27, 2008, 05:24:30 PM
Give them a piano made from iron with many key made like a knife.Hahaha Just kiding.
No one is perfect and have no fault, but I will do the best

Offline Petter

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #30 on: June 27, 2008, 11:02:30 PM
bullet in the head
"A gentleman is someone who knows how to play an accordion, but doesn't." - Al Cohn

Offline pelajarpiano

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #31 on: July 01, 2008, 02:41:59 PM
bullet in the head

it's not sabotage but murder...hahaha
No one is perfect and have no fault, but I will do the best

Offline healdie

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #32 on: July 04, 2008, 10:09:25 PM
you could mic up the piano and then line this up with a delay effects unit and turn up to full so when they play a note it repeats back a 50 times that would sure scew any performance when you play a C, c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c. or you could let a goat run across the stage with a siren tied to it's coller that tells everyone to get out of the building.
"Talent is hitting a target no one else can hit, Genius is hitting a target no one else can see"

A. Schopenhauer

Florestan

Offline chopinmozart7

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #33 on: July 30, 2008, 08:09:12 AM
I´ve heard that in the 1970s someone put some extra strong glue on the pianokeys
and when the pianist should play he just stopped having his fingers stuck and everybode
wondering. ??? :-\
If the immortals had written music for all eternity, we would not have remembered their music.

Offline chopinmozart7

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #34 on: July 30, 2008, 08:11:59 AM
Or you can put an anti-black-key laserbeam or hammers with would break the fingers of the pianist.
If the immortals had written music for all eternity, we would not have remembered their music.

Offline chopinmozart7

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #35 on: July 30, 2008, 08:14:01 AM
Otherwise you can just watch the whole performance and then after with everybode agreed shout buuuuuuuuuu!!!,and the pianist  :-X :-[
If the immortals had written music for all eternity, we would not have remembered their music.

Offline chopinmozart7

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #36 on: July 30, 2008, 08:19:24 AM
you could put some sound-isolation in the piano before the concert.
then when the pianist are about to play, :o everybody thinks he got a black-out.
If the immortals had written music for all eternity, we would not have remembered their music.

Offline chopinmozart7

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #37 on: July 30, 2008, 08:20:37 AM
just let some gangmembers take care of the pianist ;D
If the immortals had written music for all eternity, we would not have remembered their music.

Offline chopinmozart7

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #38 on: July 30, 2008, 08:25:12 AM
you could put some sound isolation in the piano and when the pianist plays you put on some sound from the speakers like imsy,wimsy spider... OK, :-\ is he a professional pianist
If the immortals had written music for all eternity, we would not have remembered their music.

Offline tds

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #39 on: July 30, 2008, 09:47:49 AM
chopinmozart, u are very eager to harm us :P
dignity, love and joy.

Offline chopinmozart7

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #40 on: July 30, 2008, 11:04:15 AM
im am just jooking
 ;D
If the immortals had written music for all eternity, we would not have remembered their music.

Offline aewanko

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #41 on: July 30, 2008, 11:49:36 PM
Throw a grenade and run away. "Simple" as that.
Trying to return to playing the piano.

Offline tanman

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #42 on: July 30, 2008, 11:54:48 PM
Throw a grenade and run away. "Simple" as that.

that's more like muder... not really sabotage...

and hopefully I won't be in the same piano competition with the people who gave lots of suggestions here... *chopinmozart7 cough cough
Remember, imitation is the sincerest form of identity theft.

Offline lina rose

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #43 on: July 31, 2008, 05:06:08 PM
put super glue on the keys of his piano...and on his piano stool...

Offline chopinmozart7

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #44 on: July 31, 2008, 08:42:12 PM
when the pianist plays drag the piano chair  away'
If the immortals had written music for all eternity, we would not have remembered their music.

Offline pianistimo

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #45 on: July 31, 2008, 10:20:28 PM
marry a pianist.  then you'd have to fight over the piano, who's music went where, how a piece should be interpreted, who's students are mine and who's are yours, why aren't your students good enough for me, why aren't my students good enough for you - why did you break a string on the piano, what did you eat when you were practicing?, you know - really IRRITATING stuff.

Offline ahinton

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #46 on: July 31, 2008, 10:35:52 PM
marry a pianist.  then you'd have to fight over the piano, who's music went where, how a piece should be interpreted, who's students are mine and who's are yours, why aren't your students good enough for me, why aren't my students good enough for you - why did you break a string on the piano, what did you eat when you were practicing?, you know - really IRRITATING stuff.
...and this is supposed to be some kind of recommendation?...

Best,

Alistair
Alistair Hinton
Curator / Director
The Sorabji Archive

Offline pianistimo

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #47 on: July 31, 2008, 11:29:27 PM
yes.  i know it's lame.  after all, if one is a pianist ...WHY would they want to sabotage any other pianist.  even one they are competing with?  it's crazy.  then you'd have no real competition and that's boring.  i much prefer to feed them a good breakfast and then see what they can do.  or massage their shoulders (wait* i'm married - but we massage each others shoulders).  tell them they play really well. 

ok.  hmm.  puts on evil hat. sabotage. sabotage.  i've got it!  no.  wait.  hmmm. must think about this. 

Offline concerto_love

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #48 on: August 01, 2008, 07:55:33 AM
 ;D
when dignity, love, and joy meet...

OMG, it's spa time!!! ;D

Offline ramseytheii

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Re: the best way to sabotage a pianist.....
Reply #49 on: August 01, 2008, 09:49:00 PM
 >:(
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