Piano Forum



International Piano Day 2024
Piano Day is an annual worldwide event that takes place on the 88th day of the year, which in 2024 is March 28. Established in 2015, it is now well known across the globe. Every year it provokes special concerts, onstage and online, as well as radio shows, podcasts, and playlists. Read more >>

Topic: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......  (Read 2828 times)

Offline deadlyhippo4

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 7
And when i mean garbage, i mean GARBAGE!! I literally made an account here just a few minutes ago just so i can post this, this has been going on for far too long.

The school requires a prelude and fugue from WTC
I am doing prelude and fugue no.2 in cminor. I can't even play it at full tempo. I have to slow down at the first page and the second plays is ABSOLUTE GARBAGE on the presto part. I just cant do it. My arms start to hurt and everything just sounds so uneven and blurry it hurts to hear me play! I try to slow it down in this one part that i just keep stopping and repeating consistently and every time i do i just get more pissed off where the only thing that is keeping me from slamming my electric piano is the fact that my parents cant afford to get me anything better. I practice in the practice rooms of the music school i wanted to attend(they let children from other departments in to play so i use to practice very very often, daily pretty much) which are ACTUAL upright pianos which magically make the 1st page of the prelude sound much cleaner for some strange reason. The second page of the prelude still sounds like garbage and after a while my arms start to hurt and feel stiff. I know its bad technique, but at this point, after playing for seven years, its already too late to do anything about without having to start from scratch, which i have absolutely no time for because the very last audition is in March 19th (around there), and i cant wait until the fall semester because if i do, once i start the performance major the next spring semester(or ANY major at that point since i am currently in some exploratory track), they are going to start charging me double the amount of money for every credit by the time i graduate; so i cant afford to wait its either now or never :'(. Also, my current teacher doesnt help at all with this despite her "practicing more than 4 hours a day back in Cuba". I think i told her about this but i forgot what she said. It feels like whatever the heck is wrong, it is soo engrained into my head that it will take me months if not more than a year to get everything right. Im still learning the fugue, but i just cant seem to play it right AT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL in front of people, but it doesnt matter RIGHT? I mean, i can do it fine in the practice room as long as i tune down the tempo a little bit RIGHT? Well i figured that whats the point of even trying to learn this piece if i trip up in the first 5 seconds if i realize someone is watching me REGARDLESS of the fact that i go almost everyday to the lounge of my university to play in front of people and HAVE BEEN for weeks now to the point that people are really getting tired of hearing me play, and i cant really blame them.

A romantic era piece: Valse Brillante OP.34 no.1: I would probabbly make any other pianist vomit if they hear me playing this. It is so different than sayyy someon like Lang Lang or Rubenstein. I can't play this piece in its right tempo either, despite playing it(rather mediocre) for months already. The fact that i cant seem to get this piece to have equal tempo because i keep forgetting to practice it. and the eight page is just so utterly horrible that i cant even change the rhythm as a form of practice and i have to improvise if i play in front of people just to get through the page.  Screw this piece straight from the pits of hell, i LOVE the way Lang Lang plays it, i can only wish to play it as he did.

A sonata by Mozart: Mozart sonata no.12 mvt.1: I knew how to play this piece at some point, but it was out of tempo. And the part after the intro were the fingers have to move fast first between a 4th chord, then a minor 3rd, then a major third before hitting the note just a 4th above it. The part whose notes are C G C G Eb C Eb C G(higher) Eb G(higher) C(higher) was and still is blurry, even if i go slow i have to go VERY slow to get it right and at the end i still mess up terribly as i go up without knowing why.

A contemporary piece: Andalucia by Ernesto Lacuendo: THis one seems relatively easy, but trying to get the 5 notes that are supposed to be played in one beat is going to be hard.


In conclusion, i make soo many mistakes that considering the fact that i have been playing piano for seven years now, are just unacceptable to make. I leave every single practice with this INTENSE form of anger and bitterness on a DAILY basis and have been for many many weeks, sometimes more than once a day from watching other pianists like Lang Lang, Vladimir Horrowitz,  Valentina Lisitsa, Evgenry Kissin, or Anastasia and Liubov Gromogslava. I honestly feel like if people can be THAT critical about people like Lang Lang and Horrowiz with regards to how apparently "bad" they play, then i feel like i should stay far away from youtube for fear that people will hire hitmen or mafias to come to my house

I absolutely love playing the piano and i also absolutely ABHOR it with a passion. It is like having an abusive wife that cheats on you and makes you insanely angry and yet the next day, there you are giving her flowers only for the same thing to happen and you just put up with it. This exactly describes the way i feel about piano. I stop practicing while feeling absolutely angry, like today, yet i come back the next day for more.

Im sorry for the long post, or i posted this in the wrong place.
Sign up for a Piano Street membership to download this piano score.
Sign up for FREE! >>
Sign up for a Piano Street membership to download this piano score.
Sign up for FREE! >>

Offline dcstudio

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2421
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #1 on: February 06, 2016, 09:34:44 AM
well you sound pretty neurotic... but then most pianists are.  That's exactly how I felt when I was at university...lol.   fake it till you make it... you have the perfect attitude for music school.  You will actually be one of the less crazy piano majors, relatively speaking.

Offline cinnamon21

  • PS Silver Member
  • Jr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 66
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #2 on: February 06, 2016, 10:26:24 AM
I suggest you change your way of playing now before it's too late...because at this rate, you're going to injure yourself. Been there done that. Also, try to find a teacher who knows how to teach relaxed technique and retrain yourself for a year or two before entering a music school....it's better to change now than later...if your hands are painful and stiff...don't even go to music school...not because you're not talented enough, but because most teachers at uni will only talk about interpretation..unless you're lucky enough to get a teacher who really cares about you and tells you how to correct your technique...

If you really love music and want to play well...you have to sacrifice a few years or so to retrain from scratch. If you want to be a professional, you have to be patient enough to correct your technique and play easier stuffs first...because only then will you be able to express your musical ideas fully and communicate the composers' intentions...with good tone and sound projection!
Currently working on:

Bach - P&F in C# Major, BWV 872, Book II
Haydn - Sonata No.60 in C Major, Hob. XVI 50
Mendelssohn - Variations Serieuses
Debussy - Reflets dans l'eau
Ravel - Jeux d'eau

Offline jimroof

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 218
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #3 on: February 06, 2016, 05:19:04 PM
When I was a piano performance major in the late 1970's we had an artist-in-residence in piano, Cary Lewis.  A super nice guy with a very supportive nature and a different take on a lot of things.

On his studio door there was a small placard that read "If it is worth doing, it is worth doing badly".

His point... we never step into anything worth doing and immediately do it well.  For most there are years of doing it badly before we ever do it well. 

No piece that I have ever mastered failed to go through the 'doing it badly' stage except a few simple things here and there.  And, as time goes on, we start to spend less time doing badly and more time doing well.

Ease up on yourself.  If you get too hung up on what you CANNOT do you will fail to enjoy what you CAN do.   If a piece is too difficult to play 'at tempo' enjoyably then slow it down and enjoy it at a more relaxed tempo.

As for performance and what happens when people are around... Here are a few thoughts...

1. An audience can intimidate.  If you are a good practice room player and find an audience unravels your performance, then you have to realize WHY this happens.  It is likely that you are playing at 95% of your capability in practice and the presence of an audience takes a 10% toll on your playing... spelling great difficulty when playing for people.  I would bet you could play Chopsticks if you were center stage at the SuperBowl.  But, very few people could deal with that kind pf pressure and play anything that is close to their current performance limit.  Acclimate yourself to an  audience with simpler pieces.  There is a reason very few recitals start out with the more technically challenging works.  They usually begin with something that allows the performer to get settled for a bit first.

2. Is your thinking straight on what music IS?  It is NOT a task.  It is NOT a contest.  It is NOT to impress with one's skills.  It is a LANGUAGE.  The best way to deal with an audience is to think of them as someone that you are going to tell a story to and you want them to enjoy the tale.  When you play for someone you are giving them a GIFT.  There is a greater purpose than just getting from start to finish in an impressive fashion. 

You probably know all of these things already, but I think we all need to step back from time to time and remind ourselves of what music is and the role it plays in our lives.
Chopin Ballades
Chopin Scherzos 2 and 3
Mephisto Waltz 1
Beethoven Piano Concerto 3
Schumann Concerto Am
Ginastera Piano Sonata
L'isle Joyeuse
Feux d'Artifice
Prokofiev Sonata Dm

Offline briansaddleback

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 705
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #4 on: February 06, 2016, 08:38:06 PM
Get a good teacher and revise your practice methods into something more efficient and more focused.
Most of the students that have much prowess on the keyboard is not via talent or gift but by their ability to focus on correcting their way to a goal through efficient practice.
Work in progress:

Rondo Alla Turca

Offline dcstudio

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2421
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #5 on: February 07, 2016, 02:20:32 AM


On his studio door there was a small placard that read "If it is worth doing, it is worth doing badly".


my jazz prof had the same placard.  :)   isn't it just wonderful when we finally reach the stage where we can say... "hey I am pretty good at this."    I don't know a one of us who says--I am satisfied that I am incredibly great at this and I have reached my full potential--just allowing yourself to think you are "pretty good" takes decades.

Offline adodd81802

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1114
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #6 on: February 08, 2016, 09:20:53 AM
I absolutely love playing the piano and i also absolutely ABHOR it with a passion. It is like having an abusive wife that cheats on you and makes you insanely angry and yet the next day, there you are giving her flowers only for the same thing to happen and you just put up with it. This exactly describes the way i feel about piano. I stop practicing while feeling absolutely angry, like today, yet i come back the next day for more.


This part particularly made me laugh.

I'm not responding on this post to tell you you're not garbage or that you should try and that you WILL succeed. I don't know you and not truly bothered if you fail. But sticking to the facts;

You are right RE Kissin, Lang Lang etc, people are critical of them and while they are not perfect, they are still up there, accepting criticism, giving it their best shot and have dedicated themselves, and motivated themselves to continue trying to be at the top, without letting their mistakes get the better of them.

You can go through 100's of videos by these fantastic performers and you can find bum notes, off performances, liberties taking with pieces and dynamics, but you know it's easy to be critical, that's why we are.

It's so much easier (and sadistically satisfying for some) to criticize others' hard work, than it is to show unselfish appreciation.

The reality of it is, if you're so terrible, spending your precious practice time ranting on a piano forum to people that do not have the slightest clue of your ability, is just a waste of time.

Work out your issues one by one, get a good teacher to work through them with you and relentlessly practice, accepting the fact you are NEVER going to be perfect, but if you're at least good, you MAY get somewhere.

Otherwise, McDonalds are frequently hiring.
"England is a country of pianos, they are everywhere."

Offline deadlyhippo4

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #7 on: February 08, 2016, 02:04:08 PM
Quote from: adodd81802 link=topic=60728.msg651512#msg651512 date=

Otherwise, McDonalds are frequently hiring.

[/quote

Why do you say this??

Offline adodd81802

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1114
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #8 on: February 08, 2016, 02:52:02 PM
Call it a British dry sense of humour if you will.

But if you are as "Garbage" as you say you are, my comment was on the fact that you could consider a change in career.

"England is a country of pianos, they are everywhere."

Offline mjames

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2553
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #9 on: February 08, 2016, 03:15:21 PM
"There's always McDonald's"

Savage

Offline adodd81802

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1114
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #10 on: February 08, 2016, 04:23:21 PM
"There's always McDonald's"

Savage

I just think in a cut throat industry (if we are talking about the aim of a fully fledged concert pianist), people who "think" they're rubbish, or think they can gain sympathy in their mediocre piano ability by telling people they are rubbish, might as well not bother at all, and I have less than no sympathy for them.

Confidence can be knocked when we come across difficult challenges, but only if you ever take your focus off the long term goal, that's when things fall apart.
"England is a country of pianos, they are everywhere."

Offline mjames

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2553
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #11 on: February 08, 2016, 04:27:16 PM
Double savage lol

You're too brutal

Offline dcstudio

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2421
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #12 on: February 08, 2016, 07:23:01 PM
people  think they can gain sympathy in their mediocre piano ability by telling people they are rubbish,

adodd that is so spot on the money it ain't even funny.

lol..

Offline briansaddleback

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 705
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #13 on: February 08, 2016, 07:27:30 PM
It is called 'fishing' for compliments.    And very bad done in a backhand disrespectful way. To tell us who try hard at piano and may not be at conservatory level, to hear one say "I'm garbage" what are you saying I am then?
Lot of immature kids on this forum
Work in progress:

Rondo Alla Turca

Offline adodd81802

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1114
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #14 on: February 08, 2016, 08:31:10 PM
adodd that is so spot on the money it ain't even funny.

lol..

There has to be the occasional wisdom that comes out of my rambling. I would not mean to offend or sound so harsh, but complainers and whiners hit a nerve for me.
"England is a country of pianos, they are everywhere."

Offline mjames

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2553
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #15 on: February 08, 2016, 10:01:24 PM
This is not working out like she thought it was going to be.

Offline deadlyhippo4

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #16 on: February 08, 2016, 10:44:40 PM
There has to be the occasional wisdom that comes out of my rambling. I would not mean to offend or sound so harsh, but complainers and whiners hit a nerve for me.


I wasn't trying to fish out compliments from people.  I was really desperate when I posted this.  I came out of a really frustrating practice and this is a feeling that has been occurring daily.  That is why at one point i got so frustrated that I decided to talk about it so that I can vent because if I would of just kept quiet and let this happen every single day eventually it would affect me as a person,  and that's what I want to avoid. I'm sorry if I came out as a complainer or a whiner, I just wanted some tips from people who have experienced something similar and how to cope with this form of stress. I do have a plan B and no....... Its not McDonald's.. That much I can say was a bit harsh since it implies I couldn't do anything else.  But a change in career and doing piano on the side could be possible.

Offline deadlyhippo4

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #17 on: February 08, 2016, 10:52:08 PM
It is called 'fishing' for compliments.    And very bad done in a backhand disrespectful way. To tell us who try hard at piano and may not be at conservatory level, to hear one say "I'm garbage" what are you saying I am then?
Lot of immature kids on this forum

Like I said in a previous response, I was desperate.  I wasn't trying to say that people who don't go to conservatories a garbage bit rather I was explaining a very destructive mindset I had when watching lang lang get criticized harshly,  trying to compare the criticism he currently recieveds with the criticism I would get if that was me on the piano. I realize it's a very stupid and unhelpful thing to do that and very discouraging.

Offline deadlyhippo4

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #18 on: February 08, 2016, 11:13:32 PM
This is not working out like she thought it was going to be.

I am male..... And honestly i SHOULD have expected it. People do have different ways of getting their points across that are different than how i would criticize someone. So in realituy, it IS kind of my fault for thinking this.

Offline adodd81802

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1114
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #19 on: February 09, 2016, 09:33:00 AM
I agree maybe McDonalds was a bad statement to make, but you should understand that with the mindset you seemed to possess from your original post was, as you stated very destructive, and so I was being rather harsh with the suggestion that being so destructive to your potential career just because it's hard work... you would probably end up amounting to nothing. (apologies to any aspiring McDonalds workers)

Professional piano playing isn't for the weak minded, it's not all about what your fingers can do.

This forum is for piano advice. For people in a positive mindset that are struggling with a particular technical skill or knowledge. You are not going to be taken seriously if you post a whiney complaint - or atleast be aware of how your posts can come across. This is the internet, people aren't speaking to you face to face, people have no clue who you are.
"England is a country of pianos, they are everywhere."

Offline briansaddleback

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 705
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #20 on: February 09, 2016, 08:45:23 PM
Like I said in a previous response, I was desperate.  I wasn't trying to say that people who don't go to conservatories a garbage bit rather I was explaining a very destructive mindset I had when watching lang lang get criticized harshly,  trying to compare the criticism he currently recieveds with the criticism I would get if that was me on the piano. I realize it's a very stupid and unhelpful thing to do that and very discouraging.
Ok I will hear your point for face value. Unfortunately , not sure how me or anyone of us can really help you. Other than be a listening ear to your hardships and just try to empathize.

Your situation is not unique. It is a universal problem faced by many who take on piano and more so who take on piano trying to at a university (or even professional) level. They practice and practice. but they cant compare (w their biased set of eyes. Never notice how they might look at you and say to themselves "wish I can be like him" you never know) with their peers. They keep making mistakes. They cant audition great even though they could perform in front of other venues satisfactorily.

Let me say two things , not trying to say these will help , but anyways:

1) Look at your perspective observe it from an objective point of view. What ARE your definitions of certain key words like ' perform ' 'garbage'  , but more importantly :   'time spent' , 'practice' 'work hard'

Give you an example. I struggle with an etude say chopin 10-5. it is SUPPOSED to be an EASY etude by many a internetz pro pianists. This is dam easy they say. oh well. I practiced this one daily for 3 months and I could not get it under my fingers. Today, to this day, after one year, I am still unable to play that piece at full blazing speed without any mistakes. There are tons of tricky measures I get concerned about while I approach them and trip myself up.

But what did I define the terms as? I compared myself to meaningless definitions supplanted in myself by these internetz dudes who say this is 'easy' and 'doable for performance in recital after 1 month'
yeah right
My professor (who once used to be a concert pianist) said even these etudes takes years to be into your hands , aged well and ready for a respectable performance in front of any audience. She says dont expect to respect the audience after learning an etude from scratch and in a couple of months it is memorized at blazing speed. It doesnt work that way. She says she has no idea these people who say they learn an etude to performance level in a couple of months. 

So I was pissing on myself because I couldnt learn 10-5 in a couple of months because of a wrong definition. Now I relax. I know that this is a lifelong journey. and 10-5 is going no where on a bus or plane trip away from me , it will wait up for me and be in my bones some day and I can perform it.


2) You may get the wrong impression of the panel in a school's audition.
I believe lot of these teachers and judges, look for your true passion of the music and not just a sit down and run through of a piece(s).
Why i say that ? I have a peer student friend who got accepted to USC (not sure their reputation for piano ) but it was a congratulatory moment for all of us when we heard. She is not the most exceptional piano student but she works dam hard. and she has so much respect and joy of playing music, when she talks she is always giddy about the music and has tons to say. She enjoys kids too. Not sure about all of this ,but I believe all of that put together into the minds of the auditioners to welcome her to the school than just plain technical perfect prowess on the piano. Which helps of course if you can do that. But there is more to it.
Work in progress:

Rondo Alla Turca

Offline dcstudio

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2421
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #21 on: February 10, 2016, 03:37:48 AM
My professor (who once used to be a concert pianist) said even these etudes takes years to be into your hands , aged well and ready for a respectable performance in front of any audience.


this is an often skipped concept in teaching...  the "aging" of a piece in your hands...   I mean you can play it in a couple of months but it's not going to hold a candle to what it will sound like when you have been playing that same etude for say 5 or 6 years.   Wait till you have pieces that have been in your fingers 20-30+ years. 

Offline jimroof

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 218
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #22 on: February 10, 2016, 08:20:40 PM
this is an often skipped concept in teaching...  the "aging" of a piece in your hands...   I mean you can play it in a couple of months but it's not going to hold a candle to what it will sound like when you have been playing that same etude for say 5 or 6 years.   Wait till you have pieces that have been in your fingers 20-30+ years. 

I can definitely attest to that.  In fact, sometimes a piece get better over time WITHOUT the benefit of practice.  Ie., I can recall times when a 2-3 month break from a major work somehow afforded the opportunity for it to 'soak' for a while, resulting in a more mature rendition the very moment I picked it back up.  This happened with my study of the Gm Ballade.  I took the whole summer off from playing it and showed up at my teacher's studio in the Fall quarter.  I played it and she was just all smiles, gushing about how much improved it was from the last time she had heard it (and about the last time I had PLAYED it). 

Also, do not forget, if you cannot IMAGINE yourself playing it, you cannot play it.  Sometimes the visualization of a tough passage has to happen before the hands can ever stand a chance of getting it done.  That can happen in the head alone - over time.
Chopin Ballades
Chopin Scherzos 2 and 3
Mephisto Waltz 1
Beethoven Piano Concerto 3
Schumann Concerto Am
Ginastera Piano Sonata
L'isle Joyeuse
Feux d'Artifice
Prokofiev Sonata Dm

Offline dcstudio

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2421
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #23 on: February 10, 2016, 11:38:23 PM
I can definitely attest to that.  In fact, sometimes a piece get better over time WITHOUT the benefit of practice.

see, now that's the kind of thing only a longtimer can know and understand.   That is so very true and yet people just look at you in disbelief when you try and explain.   How can you get better without practicing it? .   

the imagination bit is right on the money, too.  All those fantasies of being at Carnegie Hall playing the Hungarian Rhapsody 2 are NOT a waste of time...lol. Dare to dream.

Offline outin

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 8211
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #24 on: February 11, 2016, 07:26:58 AM
see, now that's the kind of thing only a longtimer can know and understand.   That is so very true and yet people just look at you in disbelief when you try and explain.   How can you get better without practicing it? .   


I think it's only logical.

But what I personally lack is the patience to wait and let the pieces mature because I know after the break I need to repeat some of the learning/memorizing process. When I finally get to it it isn't that bad really, but my natural unwillingness to repeat work already done once has to be overcome first. So I often spend far too much time trying to perfect something when I should just leave it alone to perfect itself :)

Offline pantonality

  • PS Silver Member
  • Jr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 84
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #25 on: February 15, 2016, 10:57:29 PM
That is why at one point i got so frustrated that I decided to talk about it so that I can vent because if I would of just kept quiet and let this happen every single day eventually it would affect me as a person,  and that's what I want to avoid. I'm sorry if I came out as a complainer or a whiner, I just wanted some tips from people who have experienced something similar and how to cope with this form of stress. I do have a plan B and no....... Its not McDonald's.. That much I can say was a bit harsh since it implies I couldn't do anything else.  But a change in career and doing piano on the side could be possible.
I'm glad you have a plan B. That's something many music students don't have. The fact is success as a musician is extremely difficult for the best players with the strongest personalities. Why not just go with plan B and do music for fun? That will take all of the stress out of playing for you and allow you to enjoy music for a lifetime. Chances are plan B is far less stressful and probably has an enjoyable side. Good luck!

Offline jimroof

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 218
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #26 on: February 16, 2016, 05:27:10 AM
I think it's only logical.

But what I personally lack is the patience to wait and let the pieces mature because I know after the break I need to repeat some of the learning/memorizing process. When I finally get to it it isn't that bad really, but my natural unwillingness to repeat work already done once has to be overcome first. So I often spend far too much time trying to perfect something when I should just leave it alone to perfect itself :)

Look, I have always been as impatient as anyone else.  It took some time for me to realize that the mind is the thing that makes the musician.  Once the physical skills are in place, it is totally up to the mind to make the music. 

Another thing I will throw out here, because it has now come back to my experience as I am intent upon getting Chopin's Opus 25 #6 mastered (something I just avoided when younger), there is a strange perception of the learning experience in which the external growth is very different from the INTERNAL perception of growth.

Using my college days as an illustration, I might work 3 months on a Beethoven Piano Concerto.  To the student who hears me practicing it in a practice room on the 5th floor of the Art and Music Building, every day it gets a little better until the day that I perform it.  To the outside observer it is a clear path that is onward and upwards from day one...

But, to ME, it SEEMS to be anything BUT such a path.  Why?  Because, while my hands might be improving day by day, my personal expectations and demands upon myself grow by leaps and bounds.  On day 10 of the first movement, hands and mind are at the same place - I am happy and pleased with my progress.  Then, I hear a recording in which the scale work is just so pristine, like a string of pearls... and there is now a new demand placed upon my hands.  My mind just leaped weeks ahead in its expectation.  This can even happen to the point of getting suddenly and inexplicably disillusioned... but the cute violinist in the tight sweater who walks past my practice room door just hears day by day progress while I fret over what seems like a setback.

This happens with pieces over short periods of time and it happens to musicians over years - IF they are actual musicians who are in the process of growth. 

If you never feel like you stink at something - you are either one of the best players on the planet or you have stopped growing.  Safe bet is number two...
Chopin Ballades
Chopin Scherzos 2 and 3
Mephisto Waltz 1
Beethoven Piano Concerto 3
Schumann Concerto Am
Ginastera Piano Sonata
L'isle Joyeuse
Feux d'Artifice
Prokofiev Sonata Dm

Offline jimroof

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 218
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #27 on: February 16, 2016, 05:32:50 AM
see, now that's the kind of thing only a longtimer can know and understand.   That is so very true and yet people just look at you in disbelief when you try and explain.   How can you get better without practicing it? .   

the imagination bit is right on the money, too.  All those fantasies of being at Carnegie Hall playing the Hungarian Rhapsody 2 are NOT a waste of time...lol. Dare to dream.

My fantasy was just being able to play the coda of the Gm Ballade effortlessly, yet powerfully.  I would sit down and just imagine it happening.  I finally got to the point where I could see myself playing it the way I wanted to.  Funny thing was, I recall going into a practice room and just THROWING my hands in the general direction of the notes, making horrid sounds and dissonances, but obtaining the FEEL of the arms doing what was necessary to move in a relaxed manner.  I hope that makes sense.  Hitting the 'right notes' was causing tension.  Once I removed that tension from the equation, I get the right FEEL with the WRONG notes... then knew better what to look for in the final rendition.
Chopin Ballades
Chopin Scherzos 2 and 3
Mephisto Waltz 1
Beethoven Piano Concerto 3
Schumann Concerto Am
Ginastera Piano Sonata
L'isle Joyeuse
Feux d'Artifice
Prokofiev Sonata Dm

Offline briansaddleback

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 705
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #28 on: February 16, 2016, 11:00:52 PM
My fantasy was just being able to play the coda of the Gm Ballade effortlessly, yet powerfully.  I would sit down and just imagine it happening.  I finally got to the point where I could see myself playing it the way I wanted to.  Funny thing was, I recall going into a practice room and just THROWING my hands in the general direction of the notes, making horrid sounds and dissonances, but obtaining the FEEL of the arms doing what was necessary to move in a relaxed manner.  I hope that makes sense.  Hitting the 'right notes' was causing tension.  Once I removed that tension from the equation, I get the right FEEL with the WRONG notes... then knew better what to look for in the final rendition.
There was a professional pianist who performed a concert at our school last year who conducted a master class and showed a few tips on relaxation and power to one of my friends who performed Brahms for the class.
He mentioned something that was sort of in line with what you said. He told all of us to try practicing the physical movements of our bodies towards the piano and not to get biased, to close the lid, and to attack the piano, in certain methodical ways. It was really interesting approach. Then he said when you get that philosophy down, go back to the piece and approach it the same way slower, but then refine it.
Work in progress:

Rondo Alla Turca

Offline danielo

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 49
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #29 on: February 17, 2016, 01:50:28 PM
Guys this is a fascinating thread.......
I am reading this and listening.....have nothing to contribute at this moment in time because I have learned so much from this forum since I became a member a few weeks ago
I would describe myself as an advanced amateur, who had virtually given up on getting any better at the piano, as I thought I had reached the limits of what I was physically capable of achieving.
Now I realise this is nonsense, and I just need to practise BETTER.
I am currently working on Chopin Op25 no 1.......something I thought I would never be able to get close to playing.
Also working on Op25 no 6, same as you jim..........but that's for a separate thread.
Very wise and helpful advice on many topics.....will continue to follow!
Learning:

Rachmaninov Preludes Op10 1, 4 and 5
Chopin Ballade in G Minor
Chopin Etude Op10 No 2
Schubert Impromptu No 3

Offline dcstudio

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2421
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #30 on: February 17, 2016, 02:50:48 PM
Funny thing was, I recall going into a practice room and just THROWING my hands in the general direction of the notes, making horrid sounds and dissonances, but obtaining the FEEL of the arms doing what was necessary to move in a relaxed manner. 

it makes perfect sense.   although this flies in the face of years of training I too approach difficult passages in exactly the same way.   I find I understand it and I can play it much faster if I get the basic large movement of the arms first then concentrate on perfecting the keystrokes.

throwing the hands is a good thing in my book..   I am also a hobby watercolorist.. it works for painting too.

Offline nexer

  • PS Silver Member
  • Newbie
  • ***
  • Posts: 9
Re: i want to go to a music school but i am absolute garbage......
Reply #31 on: February 18, 2016, 02:39:05 PM
First, pick another piece and learn it from scratch.

Next, find a community college and enroll.  Go to the music department and talk.

Or, find a technically analytical teacher.
For more information about this topic, click search below!
 

Logo light pianostreet.com - the website for classical pianists, piano teachers, students and piano music enthusiasts.

Subscribe for unlimited access

Sign up

Follow us

Piano Street Digicert