Piano Forum

Non Piano Board => Anything but piano => Topic started by: Essyne on June 22, 2008, 02:12:18 AM

Title: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: Essyne on June 22, 2008, 02:12:18 AM: I was thinking today about rhetorical devices/strategies in Literature, and wanted to hear a few of the best/worst similes, metaphors, aphorisms, analogies, etc. that you've ever read/heard/made up. Anything particularly potent, poignant, or just plain dumb goes.

Could be fun, in a nerdy sort of way.
Title: Re: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: pianochick93 on June 22, 2008, 07:01:28 AM: How about oxymorons?

I like 'Microsoft works'
Title: Re: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: thalberg on June 22, 2008, 07:51:10 PM: The seals jumped out of the water like self-propelled bars of soap.

(worst simile)
Title: Re: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: mike_lang on June 22, 2008, 08:04:43 PM: Quote from: thalberg on June 22, 2008, 07:51:10 PM
The seals jumped out of the water like self-propelled bars of soap.

(worst simile)

That is AWESOME!
Title: Re: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: pianochick93 on June 22, 2008, 08:49:48 PM: Agreed
Title: Re: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: kony on June 22, 2008, 11:53:39 PM: She walked into the room like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
Title: Re: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: communist on June 23, 2008, 12:10:26 AM: knowledge is power is the stupidest thing out of everything 8)
Title: Re: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: thalberg on June 23, 2008, 01:38:45 AM: Quote from: michael_langlois on June 22, 2008, 08:04:43 PM
That is AWESOME!

;D ;D ;D

Okay next bad one:

He was so honest you could play checkers with him over the phone.
Title: Re: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: pianochick93 on June 23, 2008, 07:35:30 AM: How about:

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

or

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
Title: Re: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: pianolearner on June 23, 2008, 07:55:47 AM: Shut up! He explained.

(Not as good some of the others so far...stapled tongue :D :D)
Title: Re: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: 0range on June 23, 2008, 08:09:29 AM: Here's a good one...

"Make morning into a key and throw it into the well."

One that's always irritated me:

"I literally killed myself!"
Title: Re: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: alessandro on June 23, 2008, 11:08:08 AM: I believe Oscar Wilde wrote a lot of witty one-liners...
Only one comes to my mind now;

"I can't resist anything but temptation"

In another register, not Wilde I presume, a more common one ...

"I saw her tits arriving and five minutes later she was there"
Title: Re: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: ahkow on June 25, 2008, 02:48:33 PM: Pretty Ugly?

There's a famous joke to go with it

A: Do you think i'm pretty or ugly?
B: I think that you're a big of both. You pretty ugly
Title: Re: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: goldentone on June 26, 2008, 07:35:20 AM: How vain it is to sit down to write when one has not stood up to live.

(Thoreau)
Title: Re: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: pianochick93 on June 26, 2008, 08:19:21 AM: Quote from: goldentone on June 26, 2008, 07:35:20 AM
How vain it is to sit down to write when one has not stood up to live.

(Thoreau)

Oooh. I like that one.
Title: Re: The Artistic and the Asinine.
Post by: chopininov on June 26, 2008, 04:22:18 PM: True friends stab you in the front.