Piano Forum
Piano Board => Audition Room => Topic started by: xdjuicebox on April 03, 2016, 08:42:51 AM
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I decided to get myself to write stuff after finishing college. This is a piece I've been working on for the past week and a half, it's the 5th of 10 pieces that I'm forcing myself to complete by summer (July). I wrote the melody at the park, and then went home and played around with it on the piano.
I don't have this anywhere near practiced enough to record myself, so I'm posting a midi instead, because I want to know if it's worth my time even learning my own piece lol. Idk. I'm going play a lot of the parts a lot less robotic than the midi does though if I do decide to learn it lol
What are your thoughts?
I've never formally studied composition, but I've read a lot about it and my piano teacher taught me some of the basics. I really want to study under someone though, but might be about to start a full time job?
Feedback is appreciated! Thanks!
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I like it. It has a nice melody. The only suggestion I have is maybe a few more change ups un the right hand in the first half
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hi xdjuicebox,
I really don't know the first thing about composing, so you may want to take my advice with a grain of salt. First off, great work! Composing cannot be an easy job.
I think the the composition, especially the main theme is a bit too vanilla, and sounds a bit cheesy, which may be in part to the key this is written in, and the simple arpeggios. Again, I'm not a composer, so I'm sure this is easier said than done, but you should use more complex harmonies to add variety and a more unique sound (in the beginning). Another thing is to set a tone for the piece. Most pieces have an overall feel to them, but it's kind of hard to figure out the emotional tone to this piece. What are you trying to communicate to the listener? Joy? Anguish? Longing? Think about this when composing :) I hope I helped, and I didn't mean to sound rude or condescending or anything. I think you did a fine job, and good luck :)
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A lot of pieces like this can be fundamentally reduced to a bass + melody combination; everything else is filler of sorts. As a general rule (which can be broken!) you should avoid unison movements of bass and treble, and contrary motion of the parts is usually more effective than similar motion. The first section seems pretty good in this respect.
When you modulate, around 1.15, it's too much for the ear imo, at least within this style. Put it this way, 15 seconds later you've gone from Ab to D, which is as remote a key from Ab as you can be in (furthest distance on the circle of fifths). You have no problem modulating elsewhere, so I don't feel you need to go so far. There is some sense of structural unity implied through the use of the falling interval rh melodic motif, which is a plus point. I think it's a pretty decent start for someone who's not had any training.
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Thank you all for the valuable feedback!