Piano Forum
Piano Board => Performance => Topic started by: sweetpotato on September 16, 2017, 01:11:10 PM
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Hello, I'm so glad to post this anonymously because I'm freaking out a little. I took private lessons for about 15 years but never really played classical pieces I learned for people. I played for my church worship team for several years though. I'm coming back to piano after having my childhood piano shipped to my house - it's been almost twenty years. I'm preparing for the Trinity ATCL now but I'm having major anxiety suddenly. (I minored in Music but want some piano credibility to teach piano. I started teaching my kids this summer after my older ones quit their great but too-strict-for-them teacher. I was shocked to find how much I love teaching piano and couldn't believe I didn't do it sooner.)
I think my playing will sound ugly to people and maybe I've always thought so which is why I never played for people. I've played several Beethoven sonatas (Pathetique, Waldstein, Moonlight, Op. 110, Appassionata), a few Chopin etudes and Bach preludes/fugues, to name a few. I think I'm technically able though I think I sound so flimsy. I want to practice playing in front of friends in preparation for the exam since I'm not used to playing in front of people but I'm so nervous about how ugly I'll sound. And I'm so scared that a teacher will totally shoot me down and tell me I'm incompetent once s/he hears me play, I'm sure I have a lot of deficiencies.
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Are you really sure your playing will sound flimsy? Since you took lessons for that many years, I suspect not, otherwise your teacher would've said something to you about it and worked with you on it. I would suggest that you get a decent recorder, such as a zoom, and actually listen to yourself.
I suspect that you will find things that you need to work on, as we all do, but I think you will be far more pleased than dissatisfied.