Last post wins!!!!!

[j_tour]

Outin... That's the idea... you get a coronary, I win the thread.

My evil plan is finally coming to fruition.   

Oh, that's adorable.  You think you're evil.

Well I've never been convicted or even charged, but I defy you to find somebody more misanthropic and hateful than me.

You child.

[outin]

Outin... That's the idea... you get a coronary, I win the thread.

My evil plan is finally coming to fruition.   

I'm afraid it's not working out...my heart vessels are not impressed...

[perfect_pitch]

Well I've never been convicted or even charged, but I defy you to find somebody more misanthropic and hateful than me.

I didn't say I was misanthropic - I said I was evil. Big difference.

[j_tour]

I didn't say I was misanthropic - I said I was evil. Big difference.

Well then you just haven't followed through yet.

You're young:  you'll learn.

I recommend practicing on animals first, if you're squeamish about operating on human-like creatures.

[perfect_pitch]

Well then you just haven't followed through yet.

You're young:  you'll learn.

I've seen the entire series of Dexter... I've learnt all I need to.   

[j_tour]

I've seen the entire series of Dexter... I've learnt all I need to.

Well, that's your choice, then.  I"m just saying you have to be professional about misanthropy.

Dexter Morgan never even wore a Tyvek bunny suit, is all I'm saying.

[lostinidlewonder]

Which one of you released covid then?? Such a scattergun attempt at removing the competition here, it shall fail! But congrats you wiped trillions off the world markets.

[perfect_pitch]

Which one of you released covid then??

HEY... don't blame me. Blame the Chinese...





[Too soon?!?]

[outin]

Which one of you released covid then?? Such a scattergun attempt at removing the competition here, it shall fail! But congrats you wiped trillions off the world markets.

Well...that may have been another good motivation

[j_tour]

Which one of you released covid then?? Such a scattergun attempt at removing the competition here, it shall fail! But congrats you wiped trillions off the world markets.

Yeah, but I stand to make millions off commodity bat futures in the next ten years.

[perfect_pitch]

Bats started this whole bloody ordeal... I think bat sales are about to hit the crapper.

I suggest we start eating cats. Get rid of them as an internet meme.

[j_tour]

Bats started this whole bloody ordeal... I think bat sales are about to hit the crapper.

I suggest we start eating cats. Get rid of them as an internet meme.

Oh, bats are coming back in a big way.  Now is the time to buy.

Not only are they delicious, and the kids love them, they don't have all that pelt you have to skin off the cats to enjoy.

[perfect_pitch]

Maybe... but that guy ain't going to having kids if he continues to wear them like that.

[outin]

I suggest we start eating cats. Get rid of them as an internet meme.

At least I have such food reserve at home. How about you? Maybe you should start eating big spiders? I have been told the meat is delicious.

[j_tour]

At least I have such food reserve at home. How about you? Maybe you should start eating big spiders? I have been told the meat is delicious.

Yeah, but there's hair all over the legs.

It's like eating a human or a cat:  you got to burn that sh*t off with a blowtorch, or just skin it like some other of our woodland friends.  The humble opossum or squirrel.

Nothing is easier than to skin a cat!  Ask the French!

[perfect_pitch]

Maybe you should start eating big spiders? I have been told the meat is delicious.

There's practically no meat on the bloody things. It's like chewing individual spaghetti strands.

And anyway, nothing can replace the taste of chicken.

[j_tour]

And anyway, nothing can replace the taste of chicken.

Long pig. 

It replaces all need for the chickens. 

Which BTW are pretty nasty jittery little creatures, all flying all over the place.  Hardly any meat in the feet.

I think dog would be a more palatable solution than outright cannibalism for most people, though.

I mean, obviously, you clip the vocal cords of your neighbors' dogs, obviously, so, what's one step more?  You feed it some meat with bits of spring steel embedded in it, you harvest the prey in the dead of night, and just field strip it in your house.

In your kill room. 

Obviously.

[perfect_pitch]

I think dog would be a more palatable solution than outright cannibalism for most people, though.

I mean, obviously, you clip the vocal cords of your neighbors' dogs, obviously, so, what's one step more?  You feed it some meat with bits of spring steel embedded in it, you harvest the prey in the dead of night, and just field strip it in your house.

In your kill room. 

Obviously.

Obviously. I've got the metres and metres of plastic sheet wrap placed on the floor already - the tools have been sharpened; now all I need is for someone next door to get a dog.

Now I play the waiting game...

[j_tour]

Obviously. I've got the metres and metres of plastic sheet wrap placed on the floor already - the tools have been sharpened; now all I need is for someone next door to get a dog.

Now I play the waiting game...

See?

This young fellow, he understand!

First you prepare the room (really, it's supposed to be have been always already prepared, future perfect, you know), and then you wait.

Bah, you can get some dingos anytime, but they're kind of neat animals. 

The best meat requires the best pets.

And the best meat requires the best neighbors.

[j_tour]

Didn't we already settle the batman thing?

No.

[perfect_pitch]

Bah, you can get some dingos anytime, but they're kind of neat animals. 

Exactly how far out of civilisation do you think I live??? You think Dingo's just roam the suburbs? Instead of Taxi's, we just grab onto the nearest kangaroo and ride them down the streets???

[j_tour]

Exactly how far out of civilisation do you think I live???

I don't know.  Australia or something.

Or maybe by that fancy opera house.

Same thing, isn't it?

You still haven't settled "the batman thing" so...

Oh, sh*t, you're probably talking about cricket or some sh*t.

Well may god have mercy on your soul, you person!

[perfect_pitch]

You still haven't settled "the batman thing" so...

That's not me you need to discuss it with... DUH!!!

And no - I hate Cricket. Worst sport ever... after Football.

[j_tour]

That's not me you need to discuss it with... DUH!!!

And no - I hate Cricket. Worst sport ever... after Football.

All right, I'm going to settle it.

Cricket is *** boring as sh*t.

Rugby is football for brain-damaged tards.

I don't even know the British slang.  So, "soccer" is British for "footie." 

And I like sports in general, even that moron sport the Brits insist on calling "soccer," and everyone else just says "let's finger our girlfriends and take big selfies."

[j_tour]

Oh.

I think I lost the thread. 

Apparently the mere suggestion that one uses a pedestrian hunting bird or medium-sized game shotgun to deter trespassers via e-mail to one's property manager warrants a visit from the county sheriff. 

Via e-mail, no less.

Well, no, apparently in the US, some folks don't take to it kindly none.  Some people apparently consider that to have been a threat.

Bastard idiots.

I hope a dingo eats their babies. 

Bastards.

[perfect_pitch]

Rugby is football for brain-damaged tards.

That made me laugh out loud... very heartily. I needed that for a Saturday morning because I'm tired.

Now I need copious amount of black coffee, only because milk waters down and sullies the extraordinary power of CAFFEINE!!!

[outin]

That made me laugh out loud... very heartily. I needed that for a Saturday morning because I'm tired.

Now I need copious amount of black coffee, only because milk waters down and sullies the extraordinary power of CAFFEINE!!!

Just to make it clear, I hate all sports... And my evil plan to remove it seems to have worked well...

Coffee needs milk but have you not heard of coffein pills? I always have those ready beside my bed...when I was a kid the only way to get me up and to school in the mornings was to bring me coffee into bed. Since my mother is not available for that job, I rely on pills and enjoy my coffee later...

[perfect_pitch]

Coffee needs milk

No it doesn't... Only saps put milk in coffee. Hard men drink it black, hot and without sugar.

 

[outin]

No it doesn't... Only saps put milk in coffee. Hard men drink it black, hot and without sugar.

No, that's how I drink my tar!



Besides, last I checked I was definitely not a hard man...

[perfect_pitch]

No, that's how I drink my tar!

And how are your lungs right now??? Smokers probably inhale all the tar they can get, but I can easily outrun any of them in a 100-yard dash.

Besides, last I checked I was definitely not a hard man...

You could probably borrow some of those little blue pills from J_Tour then... provided he hasn't run out of them.

 

[I am a cheeky mother-f@#$er.]

[Bob]

*low, ominous, sustained bass tone.*


*Bob releases a single Norwegian lemming into the thread*

[outin]

And how are your lungs right now??? Smokers probably inhale all the tar they can get, but I can easily outrun any of them in a 100-yard dash.

Us Finns have been drinking and eating tar forever and our lungs are just fine!

You could probably borrow some of those little blue pills from J_Tour then... provided he hasn't run out of them.

I guess I could try...would be interesting to see which part of me would get hard...not sure I'd be more manly though...

[j_tour]

Just to make it clear, I hate all sports... And my evil plan to remove it seems to have worked well...

Coffee needs milk but have you not heard of coffein pills? I always have those ready beside my bed...when I was a kid the only way to get me up and to school in the mornings was to bring me coffee into bed. Since my mother is not available for that job, I rely on pills and enjoy my coffee later...

True.  I only drink instant coffee, and it doesn't have an "aroma."  More like a stench. 

Milk is the only thing that makes that foul brew drinkable.

Yes, I know how to make real coffee, from cold brew to using a French press, including roasting my own beans, but I don't do that fancy stuff any more.  I just want caffeine in the morning, and not have to vomit after drinking it.

[perfect_pitch]

I only drink instant coffee

INSTANT COFFEE???



That's just wrong... seriously wrong.

[and I'm starting to like the use of the Sonic shocked face as a meme.]

[outin]

Yes, I know how to make real coffee, from cold brew to using a French press, including roasting my own beans, but I don't do that fancy stuff any more.  I just want caffeine in the morning, and not have to vomit after drinking it.

That's overdoing it! No need to get fancy, you just need some good dark roast ground coffee and a water boiler. Coffee makers spoil the taste and take longer than the traditional filtering system.



EDIT: A bit smaller might do though...

Non filtered coffee does taste even better but with the amounts I drink it can rise the cholesterol levels a bit too much...in average a Finn uses 12kg of coffee yearly and I think I use about 18kg...need to buy a package every 3 weeks or so...

[perfect_pitch]

It's all I've been doing since Australia is self-isolation. Got my toilet paper ready, and my espresso machine.

I'm ready to beat the whole COVID crap. So far 2020 has been nothing but a big disappointment.

#2020cansuckit

[outin]

It's all I've been doing since Australia is self-isolation. Got my toilet paper ready, and my espresso machine.

I'm ready to beat the whole COVID crap. So far 2020 has been nothing but a big disappointment.

#2020cansuckit

Interesting...I absolutely love this! No need to go anywhere or meet anyone so I can enjoy my own company as much as I like...which is a lot

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah - well good for you. I'm single and still looking for that special someone. Hard to meet people when most restaurants, movies and social gatherings are closed.

 

[outin]

Yeah - well good for you. I'm single and still looking for that special someone. Hard to meet people when most restaurants, movies and social gatherings are closed.

 

Who needs a special someone? Except for the one you already have, there's no need to look further.  In general relationships are overrated...everyone should take this great opportunity to learn to enjoy oneself more.

Of course young people have certain needs, but self help should do for a while...at least you don't need to worry about STDs...

And if you need someone to talk to...get a cat!

[j_tour]

Of course young people have certain needs, but self help should do for a while...at least you don't need to worry about STDs...

"Worry" about STDs?  Nah, they're a badge of honor!

Not crabs, though.  Those bring great shame and dishonor.

[perfect_pitch]

And if you need someone to talk to...get a cat!

I've read Garfield - I'm ALREADY depressed enough; I don't need another furry, mopey sod hanging around the place and getting cat-hair all over my grand piano.

And cat's can't TALK!!!

[outin]

I've read Garfield - I'm ALREADY depressed enough; I don't need another furry, mopey sod hanging around the place and getting cat-hair all over my grand piano.

And cat's can't TALK!!!

You're so wrong...
Warning! If you already have cats, do turn the volume down a little unless you want to create a havoc...

Besides, isn't enough that they listen? The problem with humans is that they want to speak even if they have nothing important to say. Mostly it would be enough to just listen to me say how things are/should be....

[perfect_pitch]

[I told myself I wouldn't click on that...]



[Why the *** did I click on that...?]



[I argued to myself that it wouldn't be worth clicking on... I only have myself to blame]



DAMN YOU OUTIN!

[outin]

[I told myself I wouldn't click on that...]



[Why the *** did I click on that...?]



[I argued to myself that it wouldn't be worth clicking on... I only have myself to blame]



DAMN YOU OUTIN!

So did you notice the typo?

[perfect_pitch]

I got 7 seconds in before wanting to strangle you (and chastise myself) for clicking it.

If it was in the first 7 seconds, then no. If it was after, then I couldn't care.

[outin]

I got 7 seconds in before wanting to strangle you (and chastise myself) for clicking it.

If it was in the first 7 seconds, then no. If it was after, then I couldn't care.

Damn, I was so sure you could not resist the temptation and fall for the torture...you're getting better, but you will still not win...and I will keep on causing you pain!

[Bob]

That video's stretching it.

But you can't beat the classic no no cat.
 

[perfect_pitch]

Damn, I was so sure you could not resist the temptation and fall for the torture...you're getting better, but you will still not win...and I will keep on causing you pain!

I'm getting smarter... I see now that the only way forward is to never play another YouTube video by you again...

...and possibly from Bob either.

[outin]

...and possibly from Bob either.

Now there's something we can agree on!

[perfect_pitch]

I hate to disappoint you, I am allergic to many things but none of them will kill me...just cause unpleasant swelling and make me look like a monster...might scare you to death

Please - I've seen most of the horror movies on the planet. I ain't scared of anything.