"goodbye friend" by me

[larry larson]

feedback appreciated

[pianistimo]

the middle section - without pedal - is that part the part you are telling this friend 'why' the goodbye?  it sounds like a good 'talking to.'  you are a very sensitive soul.  sounds perfectly reasonable.  (whatever the reasons).  but, bridges burned are hard to rebuild.  sometimes i would write letters to people i got mad at and then wrinkle them up and throw them away.  just not bother expressing frustrations to them in person.  and, you know sometimes after a year or less they write or say something that makes amends and you haven't burnt the bridge.  unless...it is a girlfriend and you have to. 

[larry larson]

well, actually he committed suicide. Larry

[pianistimo]

i'm soooo sorry!  i hope that you're ok.  it's harder probably for you than him.  i knew a girl who comitted suicide (or at least people thought she did it to herself - because she had been depressed).  perhaps they are relieved of pain and sufferring - although it seems a 'too quick' way out for us.  sensitive souls are the most prone to being unable to cope with the stresses and burdens and hurts of life.  only the good die young is probably true.  the older you get - the more you just sort of accept things (although we sorta have to) and get used to 'the way it is.'  anyways - prayers for you!  susan

[larry larson]

Hi, there's nothing to be sorry about. I purposely didn't mention in the first post that it was a suicide because I thought that would taint people's responses. I value honest reflections about my music and I thought who's going to be critical if they knew the circumstances? Like if a girl sings at her father's funeral, who's going to tell her that her pitch was off?  So thanks so much for your input, it's very helpful.  Interestingly, I wrote another piece that was going to be about my friend's (Tony) life. While composing it the voice changed, and it switched from my voice honoring him to his voice describing and maybe explaining the suicide. It was very strange and I'm not sure I have a grid for it. But it did help me understand a little better.Thanks for the prayers too.     Larry

[pianistimo]

don't worry about the reasons.  remember the best times you had with that person - and focus on that.  otherwise - you'll get depressed too - thinking you could have done something.  in most cases - there is not that much anyone could do to change someone's mind who has 'decided.'  it's their choice and simply a choice they felt compelled to make without asking anyone.  but, their one (bad, imo) choice doesn't negate all the good.  i think people mistake killing oneself as = to some kind of unpardonable sin.  sin is the same sin as anything else - and probably much less of a sin to kill oneself than to kill another human being.  so, that said - i think to focus on all the good that you remember.  make a poster for yourself - and put together all the happy pictures and stuff you did together.  remember all the characteristics of that person that you most cherished and valued.  he'll surely appreciate being remembered that way, too! 

i personally believe there will be a ressurrection.  that death, pain, tears will be swallowed up for all time when jesus returns.  but, i realize that maybe my timing to say this is poor - because people believe what they most believe at times like this - and it is fairly pointless to push views.  i just hope that you see hope for yourself and for your friend.  God is love.  the most loving thing would be for God to have held open his arms at the time your friend died and greeted him as lovingly as He would have had he been in a car accident.  perhaps even more - because people's mental pains are just as real as physical pains.