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[phil13]

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[phil13]

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[JCarey]

Dear Phil,

I have listened to your compositions and find them to be quite impressive for your age - you might be interested in knowing that I wrote the symphony in c minor at 16 as well. But I never appreciated being complimented on my works based on my age, and I'm sure you'll feel the same. Anyway:

Your dance was a very energetic piece. It had a nice combination of music from different eras, making it quite interesting without appearing "random" or "chaotic." You kept the movement going and avoided musical "drag," and your string writing is good overall, though I, personally, would have experimented with getting even more effects out of them.

I like the theme you have and how you devloped it. However, I get the feeling your counterpoint is flawed in certain places, almost as if you ran out of ideas and were looking to fill up more time - now, I don't know whether this is true or not, but that is how it comes across to me. Things seem to wander a bit until you get to 1:01, which is a section I really enjoy, because it breaks the monotony of the last 20 seconds or so. I also like your harmonic progressions generally. They add more variety to the music.

However, I feel that there is one major problem. What Mozart was once told, I will tell you now - too many notes! Don't get me wrong - anybody who knows anything about my taste in music will know that I love very complex music (Mahler, Rachmaninoff, Ravel and, of course, Sorabji). However, all of those composers have mastered the balance between complexity and simplicity. There is one thing I've never been able to stand about much of the music of Bach - so much of it is endlessly complex. I think your piece would greatly benefit from a few simpler sections, perhaps with the first violin playing melody and the rest of the instruments playing in the backround, maybe with the cello playing pizzicato on the bottom, and the viola doing something interesting to keep the movement going. This will give the audience a chance to catch their breath from the busy counterpoint you have going on through most of the piece.

Now for your prelude:

I'm not a fan of modality generally, but it appears that this was fairly experimental. I don't have that much to say about it because it's quite short. However, it seems like you achieved what you wanted, despite its lack of complexity (compared to the dance, at least). I didn't feel that your melody was very interesting at all... in fact, even though I've listened to the prelude several times, I still have no idea what it is! I would recommend rewriting this one quite a bit.

I hope I've given you enough to think about. You obviously have much talent - keep composing!

Best regards,
John Carey

[phil13]

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