Fantasie Op. 1 (3 Pieces for Piano Solo) No. 1 in f: Andante molto espressivo

[cardinals]

I just composed this while working on final project for my composition lesson class...
Any comments or advice plz 

[mrba1979]

O.K. so when I started to hear yet another recording on an awful instrument I thought you were like a couple of other posters around trying to cover their dreary  playing with their keyboards and waste my time.  (Sorry if that sounds harsh.)  However it was an interesting enough piece to keep my attention.  Here are my suggestions.  First and foremost as soon as you can, record this on a real piano.  Second the first minute of your song can be played slower with softer dynamics.  This and with a bit more phrasing your intro will sound quite graceful and tastefully...hmmm...I suppose mournful but not exactly the word I am searching for.
Anyways, starting into after the first minute things need to speed up and peak in both volume and speed at about 1:30.  For the rest of the piece I would suggest the same with the way you have written it to flow.  The ending I am not sure about and I do not know what to suggest.  I think polishing up the piece and playing it on better quality instrument would help.  I do believe your Fantasie has wonderful potential.

Hope this Helps.

[furtwaengler]

A very nice, melancholy piece you’ve written here. The mood reminds me a bit of Mozart’s Rondo in A minor, the middle movement of K. 488, or the piano’s entrance on the great D minor concerto…good for solitude and very pleasing indeed. I like it very much, and I'd love to here the completed set.

I’m curious how old you are?

O.K. so when I started to hear yet another recording on an awful instrument I thought you were like a couple of other posters around trying to cover their dreary  playing with their keyboards and waste my time.  (Sorry if that sounds harsh.)

It does sound harsh (though I can assure that you come across as sincerely wanting to help), but I’m not sure I understand what you’re communicating…are you saying that certain people deliberately record on bad instruments in order to cover up flaws in their playing, or record with bad equipment to hide their flaws? I think most people are working with what they have available! But then the only impressions I can get of the people are from the words they choose to put on the screen, so I don’t think I could really know (could be I'm naive ).

[goldentone]

Good job, Cardinals.  I like your piece.  There is a fruitful musical mind here at work.

mrba1979, don't you think you should ease back on the tone of your suggestions?  It comes across as you basically saying, "Here's how you should write and play your own music." 

[mrba1979]

Your right it did come out harsher then I meant, and not at all with any sense.  Should really proof read what I am saying.  I have only been with this forum since April but as of late it seems we have posters who play above their skill level, on horrible instruments, and then negating away very useful advice.  What I was essentially trying to do was compliment Cardinal in saying despite what he used to record his piece it overcame the limitations in which he was working with.  In other words it is a very good work.  Probably should have just said so in the first place.

I was also only trying to give advice as he asked, but not rewrite his composition.  My suggestion only had to do with the dynamics of the song and actually do not vary with what is written, but would bring out more of what I think he intended.  I will clarify though with my comments regarding your ending.  I did not mean to change it specifically but how to play it dynamically.  That is why I hope when you have a chance please play this on a real piano.

My apologies then, hope this helps, and good luck.

[goldentone]

I just wanted to say, mrba1979, that I appreciated your response.