Stupid things non-musicians say to us

[instromp]

Heres one my father said to me, "since you can read music,why can't it be perfect."
I really wanted to punch him in the face for that but i just laughed in his face.He had no clue that it takes practice.what an idiot he is,lol

[pianowolfi]

A few years ago two of my younger students (8 year old) asked me: "What do you work actually?" First I was slightly speechless, then I answered: "Well I teach fresh kids like you, that's my job!"

[ce nedra]

Sorry I couldn't resist this... A pianist friend of mine just sent me this sms:

"A friend of my mom's visited us tonight. He asked me to play Vivaldi for him. Then Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture. He said I should play in the NY philharmonic. Dork."

Next sms about 5 mins later:

"The guy asked me if I can play something where I sing with"


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... yes I know he was just churning out the random musical names he knew... but still... if you know nothing, say nothing.

[juliax]

The best response I have gotten to "I teach piano"  is   "Oh, so do you actually know HOW to play piano?" 

ummm..  I would love to meet the piano teacher that doesn't know how to play piano...

[juliax]

Dead on! But, it is still funny the things people say. You should hear what other professions say about laymen's comments.

Cheers

I definately get way more idiotic comments about engineering (I do electrical design and engineering) than I ever did about teaching piano, and it is a lot harder to explain what exactly I do to someone who has never been involved in the field.  What's funny is, the comments are really about the same.  Slightly condescending, with absolutely no intellect backing it up what-so-ever.  When telling people I design power systems that run everything in a building that uses electricity (so pretty much everything), people have absolutely no concept of the fact that a house and a highrise run off a different amount of power, and it is actually someones job to decide how much is needed, size everything, coordinate with the city, etc.  Then I get "Oh, well that sounds easy."  I've also gotten "So is that like, the lowest white collar job you can get?  I mean, isn't that like a construction worker practically?"  Now that's just flat out insulting telling an electrical engineering student and designer that they are working their ass off to be low class.  I wanted to punch that guy in the face, but in his defense, he was probably just insecure about his own job which wasn't really that impressive.
I think the previous posters were right about this topic coming across to some people as arrogant, but it really just depends on your perspective.  It sucks getting talked down to and belittled and everyone one of us has experienced this and done it to someone else.  It happens, and there's really nothing wrong with sharing the experience, imo.  In fact, I think it helps us to handle these situations better.  Knowing that others deal with the same thing makes it not seem quite as bad, ya know?

[ingagroznaya]

Before I start teaching, while at work:
So, what is your job? - I play piano.
What do you do for work? - I play.
I understand you are playing piano, what do you do for work? - I play piano.
And my most favorite of all time - do you have a job? Yes, I play.
(Confused)  don't you have a job?

I can relate so much to the previous post... about fun.
What do you do for fun - I play piano.
No, what do you do for fun when you are not playing - I'm answering idiotic questions. One at a time. Once should be enough.

People who ask this question more then once usually come away very disappointed.
It's so nice not to disappoint anyone after 16 years - now I TEACH.

[gerry]

I always like the ones that come up to you at a party and ask if you would please play "Concerto".

[mike_lang]

I hate to call this stupid, since it's kinda cute, but here goes:

An older woman at a gathering once commented to Pressler how fast his fingers move, and asked what the fastest note he could play was.  Pressler thought for a second, then answered, "A sixty-fourth note," to which she replied, "How delightful! Would you play me one?"

[lol_nl]

My teacher once told me a story about a new student she had. He was the type of person that thought: "Now I'm in conservatory, I can play anything." So during the first lesson he brought the sheet of Rachmaninov Concerto no. 3, and said he wanted to learn it. My teacher said that it was too hard for him (he wasn't a very good student anyway), but that guy just kept saying that he wanted to learn it. I don't know how it exactly ended, but that guy said something like: "Why don't you want to teach me that piece? You can't play Rachmaninov 3 yourself?"

[jpianoflorida]

If there is a consistent theme to the complaints listed, it might be this.

Pianists (and other specialized instrumentalists, of course) are completely out of touch with what most of the world wants to hear, and with the effect of playing their own choices for some audiences.

So as a teacher, If you teach many teenagers as I do...you can work on classical with them of course..they need that,BUT why not explore what they like to play.....I have discovered over the last year specifically there are many current pop songs(green day, nickelback, etc..that teens are into) that have fantastic piano solos and parts.    Explore ALL kids of music, don't limit yourself to classical because you feel it's the only way.

[arbisley]

There are also some piano solos in Muse which sound really impressive but are actually just fast arpeggios and the like.

I suppose the thing is that what people don't know, they can't really talk about. Though if they like it, they might try to. Oh, why do I try to understand people when it's fairly simple: just appreciate their compliments, and try to explain where they're wrong. Otherwise the ones who are a pain are those who just don't believe you and pretend to know everything about Mozart even though they had only heard his name for the first time an hour ago.

I know a guy who is really great at arguing about world politics, and that is another thing I don't get, what is the point of business and economics apart from giving people who talk about it a job? It's not really a service for anyone, and all it does is reflect what an economist has learnt from an over-contructed advertising and profit calculating subject. They fon't usually take into account more immediate effects on the individual and rely more on statistics.

Well, sorry about that interlude.....

But really, it also comes from a contrast between someone who knows a lot about one thing and someone who doesn't know the first thing about it.  I actually feel the point of view of ignorance when I talk about something with great conviction because I study music, but don't actually know anything about the precise subject, say, Sibelius's country of birth (I though it was France).

And also, uncultivated people generally don't WANT to understand you because they don't appreciate what it means to just enjoy improving in a particular subject, or knowledge about something. Or others who just don't care because they have never listened to any before. Just depends on what you're used to basically.

Oh well, I'll try to stop being philosophical one day and just talk naturally about things. That's what well-meaning people try to do, and get it wrong.

On the other hand, we find it funny because it has nothing to do with what we actually think about, and is so completely wrong. Or it could be said that comedy is someone else's tragedy, and we find people's mistakes extremely funny.

Of course because I'm a musician, I find the comment "You're very talented dear" the most annoying thing in the world. Scientific research has proved that genius is achieved only through hard work and labour and environment, hardly at all through predisposition towards something.

[jpianoflorida]

So as a teacher, If you teach many teenagers as I do...you can work on classical with them of course..they need that,BUT why not explore what they like to play.....I have discovered over the last year specifically there are many current pop songs(green day, nickelback, etc..that teens are into) that have fantastic piano solos and parts.    Explore ALL kids of music, don't limit yourself to classical because you feel it's the only way.

some good points! don't we all have a friend that just knows everything about everything!  wow, if we could only be as smart as them! lol

[arbisley]

As one of my music teachers said, don't criticise music because you haven't heard it enough, have not used those channels in your brain and do not like to hear it in consequence of that.

Listen to everything you can, and try to speak to as many people as you can. It will make your understanding of things grow infinitely.

[jpianoflorida]

.

Listen to everything you can, and try to speak to as many people as you can. It will make your understanding of things grow infinitely.

that is a great statement!  I live that statement..talk to people of all races, religions, nonreligions,we gain SO MUCH from people who are different from us!  I can't understand how some people can only want to socialize or even only talk to people in their "ideal circle".

[Kassaa]

My teacher once told me a story about a new student she had. He was the type of person that thought: "Now I'm in conservatory, I can play anything." So during the first lesson he brought the sheet of Rachmaninov Concerto no. 3, and said he wanted to learn it. My teacher said that it was too hard for him (he wasn't a very good student anyway), but that guy just kept saying that he wanted to learn it. I don't know how it exactly ended, but that guy said something like: "Why don't you want to teach me that piece? You can't play Rachmaninov 3 yourself?"

That boy was like eight years old, hehehehe.

[arbisley]

that is a great statement!  I live that statement..talk to people of all races, religions, nonreligions,we gain SO MUCH from people who are different from us!  I can't understand how some people can only want to socialize or even only talk to people in their "ideal circle".

whoah! I'd never got that much attention before on this forum!

I must say that I have an unfair advantage, since my parents are from different countries, I live in a third, go to school in yet another, and have attended both catholic and anglican churches during my life. A lot of experience in a short time you might say.

Anyway, one thing I don't understand is that when I make mistakes that are so extremely obvious and I hesitate and everything, some people still tell me how great it is. Just paly loudly and confidently and the world is at your feet....

[debussy symbolism]

whoah! I'd never got that much attention before on this forum!

Anyway, one thing I don't understand is that when I make mistakes that are so extremely obvious and I hesitate and everything, some people still tell me how great it is. Just paly loudly and confidently and the world is at your feet....

Although some mistakes and awkwardness may not necessarily be noted by an amateur listener, no one would like to say about how bad the performance was. That's rude.

[jpianoflorida]

Although some mistakes and awkwardness may not necessarily be noted by an amateur listener, no one would like to say about how bad the performance was. That's rude.

that just reminded me of something....Did everyone see "Shine".....his Dad never thought he was good enough, and 1st place was all that mattered...such a sad story but unfortunately that does happen. I had an adult student who was always made to feel as though nothing she ever did was ever good enough!  It had carried over to her adult life(she was in her 40's)....

[debussy symbolism]

Your responce just reminded me of something too. You may already know that my parents had to move the piano to a slightly different place in order to not upset the neighbors in the morning. I of course am not totally in support of this, but will see what happens. My dad "claims" that the neighbors don't like what I am playing. What a load of shit! Couldn't say something good, but had to insult me. The irony is in that the neighbors actually do like what I play (so they say), and yet he actually said that to me. I am sorry for using profanities, but I am insulted and upset.

[jpianoflorida]

you are kidding debussy?   does you dad support your music at all? my dad was the strong silent type. yet i would here he was proud from other people...my dad is now 82, he just finished mowing the lawn for me...that's his way of showing affection...he can't give a direct compliment or just say 'love you son"....but I know he cares..

[debussy symbolism]

Heh heh, I completely understand. Many dads are this way. Concerning support, it is interesting that you should mention it, because my dad does (or would....I hope) support my career by perhaps paying for college (I hope ).

What is truly bothersome is how he claims that playing the piano is easy and brainless. That was really insulting. What I should say is "Oh so you can do better". . I have never had something so stupid of a responce from anyone. If it was brainless I am sure it would not take years to master to some degree. Hey, this can contribute to the "stupid things non-musicians say to us".

[jpianoflorida]

wow! he doesn't sound very nurturing....but what can you do! you know the truth......I'm sorry you have to deal with his lack of support! i wish it was better for you!   I'm glad he's willing to pay for your training, but I so hope that one day he understands more.    Wishing you the best with that!

[debussy symbolism]

You have to understand that my dad is the one who is working, paying for the house, providing food, etc. Just the thought that he is providing me financially is very important.

[arbisley]

Another one I hear is: Yeah, music A-level is an easy subject.

It's true that in England, they pride themselves on making things easy for your exams. But on the other hand, I find it easy because I am constantly immersed in music. A non-musical person would just not get the sense and would take a lot of hard work to get good results with these exams.

One truly easy subject is Business. At GCSE level, it's a matter of knowing english grammar and rethoric, not much more... At a-level they tell you what a profit is....

[ada]

this should probably be under "crushing things that non-musicians say".

I was having a session on the piano while the builder was upstairs doing some stuff. When he comes down he says, "that was lovely".

I smile graciously and I'm just about to say,"oh no, no, just a bit of practicing..."  when he says, "I thought you had the easy listening radio station on".

  geez thanks 

[will]

"Wouldn't it be easier to play if all the white keys were up one end of the piano and all the black keys were up the other?"

[debussy symbolism]

To laugh is to laugh, but do you correct or otherwise inform the inquisitor? If someone asked me or commented on a music or piano related fact, and they were way off, I would correct them. I of course hope than others know about this and what I am saying is nothing new.

[nanabush]

That song by Chopin sounds like a weddings song, did he write alot of weddings songs?

[cfortunato]

[[But now, what ticks me off the most are the people who can't play piano, but are like, "Hey, let me do something!" and play one of the following:
a) Heart and Soul
b) The first couple bars of Fur Elise.
c) The "Knuckles" song
d) Chopsticks
e) Just banging on the keys endlessly]]

I don't know why this bothers people.  The guy playing Chopsticks is playing SOMETHING.  Don't look down at him - sit on the left side and accompany him (it's just G7 and C); he'll be thrilled and you'll both have a blast.

[kilini]

Bach and Beethoven? I don't know those songs.

This was actually said by my GUITAR TEACHER, which made me die a little on the inside.

[debussy symbolism]

I am sure she was joking. She was technically right. No "song" is called "Bach" or "Beethoven". If she said that about composers, then it would be a different story.

[leahcim]

Bach and Beethoven? I don't know those songs.

This was actually said by my GUITAR TEACHER, which made me die a little on the inside.

Yeah as DS says you need context here - and that context will most likely be an entry for Stupid things musicians say to each other. So all is not lost.

[kilini]

Nuh-uh. I'm pretty sure she was SERIOUS because I was asking her a serious questions and I have a pretty good sarcasm detector if I do say so myself. She's told me she had no idea I was talking about when I went off into Debussy and Chopin earlier, too. So all is lost, esp. because she's a musician, and even though she's not classically trained it still depresses me she said that. She also told me Ode to Joy was a nice "song" that I was going to hear everywhere... like I didn't know that.

And I suppose the title would be better as non-classical musicians, because all we are such classical snobs deep down inside.

[debussy symbolism]

I think it's your job to introduce those composers to her. On a positive note, she may not know about classical music per se, but that doens't mean that she isn't a good techer. I think that the both of you can learn something from this experience. What kind of music does she teach?

[kilini]

Hmm. I don't think she would be that interested in classical. She's been in music for at least 40 years and I doubt it was that hard to learn about them earlier.

Well, I didn't say she's not a good teacher, but being the classical snob I am, I get distressed sometimes when she says stuff like that. She teaches blues and country, I believe, though I'm not yet advanced enough on guitar to focus on any specific style.

[elevateme]

this guy once said to us, what sort of group are you?
we replied, we're a piano trio.
to which he said, no way, you'll never get 3 pianos in there

[dnephi]

that is a great statement!  I live that statement..talk to people of all races, religions, nonreligions,we gain SO MUCH from people who are different from us!  I can't understand how some people can only want to socialize or even only talk to people in their "ideal circle".

You must remember that things are still right or wrong, and that absolutes remain absolute regardless of what other people think.  The world was always round.

[jpianoflorida]

You must remember that things are still right or wrong, and that absolutes remain absolute regardless of what other people think.  The world was always round.

who's going to interpret what's "right or wrong"? you?  it would then be your opinion.....whatever you think is "right or wrong" would be still be your opinion.

[princessdecadence]

"oh I hate it when you practice...you don't sound nice"

I understand that you don't always sound like Horowitz when you're practicing but if I don't practice and sound horrible at the start I will be a non-musician and most probably start saying silly things like the above to proper musicians. 

 

[burstroman]

After a recital that included the Shostakovich Sonata#1, a man asked me why I had chosen to play that "crap".

[debussy symbolism]

That is really awful. I cannot imagine someone just coming up to me and proclaim anything, whether played by me or not, as "crap".

[pianowolfi]

After a recital that included the Shostakovich Sonata#1, a man asked me why I had chosen to play that "crap".

After i had played op. 111 in concert one of my adult students said to me that he didn't understand the first movement and that it sounded just like random notes to him. I was quite shocked. Did i play so badly? But the other part of the recital, which consisted of Rachmaninoff preludes he did enjoy. I don't consider that stupid. I try to treat these things with the biggest amount of patience. Once i got over that first shock I thought for myself that he simply would need to listen to that piece like 25 times and become familiar with it, and my job would be to explain it to him. If i would react like "you stupid philistine, don't you know that's one of the greatest masterworks of all time" yadda yadda I would scare him away from ever listening to late Beethoven again. And i would loose a student and listener. And i would not be a good agent for classical music. listening especially to Schostakovitch and more modern music is not very easy for most people. I never get very good comments from my non musician friends when I play Schostakovich or Martin or similar pieces. They listen to that only because I play it.

[lau]

i am printing this whole thread out and putting it on my wall in my bedroom cuz this stuff is so true

[arbisley]

It occured to me today that learning different styles or different composers is like learning a language. Most people hate overly modern music because it's a "dialect" or other language they are not used to, hamronically, stylistically. which is maybe why performers tend to specialise in certain areas of music. Once you know how to speak a language when you're older, you don't tend to try to have a perfect accent in that language, but just get on with it. same maybe for a specific composer: you know how to play it approximately, but you'll always bring in some "accents" from the type of music you play most, e.g. Russian Romantic music or whatever.

straying off topic but the thought occured to me today and I thought it might be interesting...

[ahinton]

To return to the thread topic, here's a couple:

"What's the hardest piece...?"
"What's the greatest piece...?"

"What's the saddest thing" about this is arguably that these are examples of stupid things that are said to us not only by NON-musicians...

Best,

Alistair

[nanabush]

Ya actually today I started looking at a 'tougher' bach P/F... tough enough that I can't play it perfectly at first sight... My dad just comes up and says "Whoa, what's happening there... notes are notes, why can't you play this one"  I was like     

[steve_m]

k

[tds]

i had a home concert last night, and a lady came to me while i was playing , telling me that piano is only good for chinese songs

 

kung xi fa choi (spelling) to those who celebrate the chinese new year.

[rach n bach]

I don't even want to think about how many times I've been asked to play "Beethoven."  I'll kindly ask the person WHICH Beethoven piece, and they look at me somewhat befuddled...  So I ask "do you mean his '5th' as in duh duh duh dum.... "  Yes, of course that's what they mean... It's gotten so bad that I've leared the first page of the Liszt transcription to play for those buggers, just to get them off my back.   

The other thing that buggs me is when people haven't the fainest idea who Rachmanninov is... or Liszt... or even Chopin sometimes... ACH, it gets on my nerves just thinking about it.

RnB

[molto-marcato]

I once was practicing Betthovens op.13 Mvt. 1 while my mother was in the kitchen. I totally screwed it up, having to restart every few phrases. It was horrible, really. I got so angry that i punched the last chords like a madman. My mother came and said, wow that was so great. You could give concerts like a professional. 

A few months later i played a very decent Chopin 10-6 at the home of my mother. This was the first time i was deeply satisfied with that piece. Nobody did comment on that.

Most stupid thing i hear very often is: "Wow, you're so great. I never could do that".