i'm not making fun of you, just responding to your points.
1.) How crappy it sounds when you screw up one note
that's the whole beauty of it!
2.) The thinking involved in playing
i guess you could watch friends or the bachelor, if you don't like thinking
3.) How crappy it sounds slow (esspecailly the fugues)
who says you have to play them slow?
5.) His music is like a robot
that is if robots play it
8.) lack of rest time during the fugues, they just keep on trucking, as compared to a sonata by beethoven were he threw in a few whole notes and such to give lazy people like me a break
i don't understand- bach's bad because you're lazy?
9.) no dynamics baaaah, its either quite or loud
who says you have to play it like that?
it seems the reason why some people don't like him is because he was too good- you have to really think to play him, he wrote a LOT, most of which is really difficult and "keep trucking on" requiring a lot of energy, and all of which takes a long time to fully understand. that to me is all part of his inimitable genius us lesser mortals should try to learn from, rather than get frustrated by.
i think it's a zen saying, i'm not sure, but:
a fool tries to destroy those who are better than them
the wise try to learn from those who are better than them
i definitely agree! having performed in eisteddfods i know how obstructive it is to be centred on beating someone, rather than learning something. bach will always be better than me, but thank god for that, because then i'll be able to be a lot better than what i would have been without his influence.