handling stress?

[Mozartian]

both as regards: A), stuff you should have some control over but is going crappy anyway; and B) stuff you have absolutely no control over at all but still makes you completely sick.

Advice would be appreciated. 

[prometheus]

Too abstract.

[thalbergmad]

Moz - internet is a bad place for dealing with things like this. The chances are you will end up even more stressed than before.

The one thing that stress counselling taught me is that everyone has a right to be happy and everyone has the right to take action to make that so.

Find youself a counsellor. Stress is not something you have to battle on your own and there is no shame in accepting help. The earlier it is dealt with, the sooner and better you will become at dealing with it.

Dr Thal

[dnephi]

Step 1: Quit 88street.
Step 2: Quit the internet.
Step 3: Get a job.
Step 4: Get a piano (optional)
Step 5: Become a world-famous virtuoso.
Step 6: Die.

[maul]

If you can control it, then why worry about it. If you can't control it, then why worry about it. Look at every situation as an opportunity to improve yourself.

[living_stradivarius]

both as regards: A), stuff you should have some control over but is going crappy anyway; and B) stuff you have absolutely no control over at all but still makes you completely sick.

Advice would be appreciated. 

Give yourself more time to do things that don't go crappy. That means cutting internet use time.

[Mozartian]

eh, my main problem currently is actually feeling like music ISN'T going to work out for me as a career at all. I got accepted into uni as a performance major, but I really am doubting my sanity on pursuing it recently. And I really hate indecision. lol.

Thanks for the advice.

[arensky]

both as regards: A), stuff you should have some control over but is going crappy anyway

The key word here is "should"; what's keeping you from control in this situation? Probably a different approach or strategy in dealing with this stuff is in order. That's no guarantee of improvement, though...

B) stuff you have absolutely no control over at all but still makes you completely sick.

This is always frustrating, but you need to look at the severity of the "stuff" and put it in perspective. Don't know what you're going through (I read some days ago that you had RH trouble and could not play) but some things are worse than others. Most problems fade away with time; some things that really bothered me 15 years ago are now completely irrelevant (mercifully). Of course when you're in the thick of them that's little consolation. Hopefully your uncontrollable problems are of a transitory nature and will work thenselves out or go away. Most problems usually do.
 
Hang in there! The other option is let it defeat you. Remember that this too shall pass, that existence is vast and you are not alone.

[rach n bach]

Agree with thal for once in my life.  IRL is the place to really work this out.  I don't think quitting 88st is a real great idea though.  You also got to keep in mind that everything will work out... you just got to stay optimistic...  Yeah, it's hard, but it's worth it.

[thalbergmad]

Agree with thal for once in my life. 

That will be my new signature.

[living_stradivarius]

eh, my main problem currently is actually feeling like music ISN'T going to work out for me as a career at all. I got accepted into uni as a performance major, but I really am doubting my sanity on pursuing it recently. And I really hate indecision. lol.

Thanks for the advice.

If you haven't decided on an alternative to pursue, stick with it.

[elspeth]

I agree with Thal, too. If your stress levels are so bad as to be impinging on your life and making you miserable, you need to find someone to help you. Maybe your doctor'd be a good start.

So far as the stuff you can't control goes... accepting you can't do anything about it probably won't necessarily stop you worrying about it but it will make it easier to handle. The stuff that you can control... make a decision and whatever you decide, get on with it and weather the storm if you have to.

I work with a lot of performers, and I think one thing they'd all agree with is that making a living in performance is hard. Many find the trick is to diversify. Most of the performing musicians I know also teach, play background music in bars or at weddings, play for dance classes, play for other theatre companies in rehearal or performance, accompany for other musicians... A ballet dancer of my acquaintance also runs a sucessful business on the side designing clothes for dancers. A lot of ex-dancers end up retraining as masseurs or physiotherapists, or teaching dancing or tai chi or pilates. The point is, don't just see performing as playing concertos with good orchestras, or recording a CD or two. Find more ways you can approach your music than that, and accept that it's not going to be the easy choice but if you put the work in and make it work, you'll have a fulfilling life and something you can really be proud of.

[arensky]

eh, my main problem currently is actually feeling like music ISN'T going to work out for me as a career at all. I got accepted into uni as a performance major, but I really am doubting my sanity on pursuing it recently. And I really hate indecision. lol.

Thanks for the advice.

oops, I didn't see this before I posted....  

Well, this is entirely within your ability to control.

If you don't try, you'll kick yourself years later down the road for not trying, and you'll never know if it would have worked or not. Being a professional musician is not a clear or sensible career path with guaranteed sucsess down the road, like law, medicine, selling insurance, bookeeping, etc.. But you can always switch careers later. Ask yourself; is there any one single thing that I would rather do than be a musician? If the answer is yes, then do that for a career. You can still play piano and chamber music and enjoy it more, probably. If the answer is no, then give music your best shot; there's always something else you can do if it doesn't work out; but you'll know you tried.

Doubting your sanity? Music might just be the career for you  

Hate indecision? Do something!  

How about a double major? No need to put all your eggs in one basket.

You'll figure it out.

[pianowolfi]

Well judging from your recordings you are very talented. I think this may be one of these momentary criseses that hit every musician every once in a while. We just have to get over it and not to give up.

[rc]

Anyone with an imagination can imagine doubt, and so from time to time the seed of doubt enters the mind one way or another and begins to grow without our knowing.  With subtle pessimism floating around, it happens.

I like Arensky's POV:  You'll only regret it if you don't try.  Not some halfassed 'trying' but really giving it your best effort.  Honestly, if anybody puts in true effort I don't see how they could fail to have some sort of success.

So, it's just as easy to imagine hope and optimism.  If you want to go for it, cultivate the more useful mindsets.

...Or maybe you'd rather have music as a hobby?  Take your time, consider what you want.  I wonder if you may be having some anxiety in going to the uni?

I'm thinking that if you've pursued music that far, you might as well keep going.  The worst that could happen is you decide for sure that you don't want to do it, then you can drop out - no big deal.

[rc]

As for stress, I've learned that damn near everything is within our control in one way or another.  I found this out early in highschool when the homework load started driving me crazy and I had the epiphany:  I don't have to do this all!   Parents didn't agree with that idea, but I was much happier ever since.