But the "elephant in the living room" is the absence of pianistimo.
She is not here. Yet, she is not risen.
She's probably feeling wounded, maybe depressed, and that gives me no pleasure.
I wish she could just have one minute of real insight, one moment of reflection that would not be filtered through her religious conditioning. One moment, in short, of true clarity. Erase all of the Christian propaganda. A blank slate. Start all over as a thinking, reasoning entity. Refuse to accept anything that can't be proven by logic. Just as if she were born again. Now, there's an irony, yes? To be born again, but not to Christ, but to reason.
I wish I could tell her that her only hope of truly feeling "God" is the absence of all conditioning. No religious propaganda. To begin thinking about spirituality as if it were a totally new subject for her. Start from scratch. Clear her mind of all thinking and preconceived notions. And just sit still and watch. Then feel. In time, she'd know what the truly spiritual know. Not the religious. The truly spiritual. Those people who never talk about it, because they know that spirituality is individual and private. It can't be conferred by religious systems or churches. It's hard, solitary work.
Think she would listen? Well, she's a sweet woman, so, of course, she'd listen, but she wouldn't hear. And then she'd go on one of her compulsive, Bible-quoting fits and, soon enough, the argument would be buried under tons of religious rubbish. The subject would be submerged under attempts to make logical the illogical (faith). And we'd be back where we started.
Rather sad, huh?
Well, to those of you who are not American, welcome to my world.