How to project confidence?

[Bob]

Without necessarily having any.    that's the catch.

Maybe you're teaching a piece of music and you don't really know it.  Maybe it's a job interview you're not quite qualified for.

I've had a few occasions where I don't quite project confidence, yet in hindsight it turns out I really did know a heck of a lot more than people were catching onto.  Which is bad of course. 

So how can you get around that?

I'm thinking...

Fake it.  Just act.  Or actually convince yourself that you're confident and prepared and all that.

Don't think.  Ignorance is bliss.  Ignorance can be confidence, or it's appearance, if you really don't know what you're doing.

Just lie.  Why not?  Basically the same idea as acting.  Not an outright lie, but an "acted lie" of displaying confidence.

Practice.  Never hurts.


Any more?  I've been told I'm too honest sometimes, telling people I'm pretty sure, but not 100% sure about things.  They take that as not knowing what I'm doing apparently.

[tds]

Don't think.  Ignorance is bliss.  Ignorance can be confidence, or it's appearance, if you really don't know what you're doing.

reminds me of some early contestants on american idol 

[zheer]

Confidence is a state of mind, think back when you were learning how to drive a car, slowly but surly with practice and experience your confidance went up, thats actual confidence. However how to appear more confident to others, more than you actually are is mainly in the body language and tone of voice. Stand tall, project your voice, speak clearly, for a Job interview to some reseach on the jop your applying for ect ect.
 

[tds]

i can never fake confidence ( yeah i'll make a bad actor, i know). i normally feel rather confident but never feel outrageously confident, which i wouldn't like in the first place anyway.

i find intelligence, talents, wisdom, knowledge, good health, good look, skills, etc contribute to my becoming confident. not that i am super in these aspects but i have possessed some of them to a degree, and that is being honestly said. tds

[rc]

Maybe you can't have confidence in something you've never done before, but you could develop confidence in your ability to handle it...  Just by getting into unknown situations, I've learned I always survive, if I give it my all it can often come out pretty well but even if things screw up, it can be fixed.

I figure that's what people mean by 'confidence' - being able to admit to being a rookie, make mistakes like anyone else but still stand tall knowing that you're learning and getting better with each attempt.  To fall on your head, get up smiling, with dirt in your teeth and try again.

A friend once observed that people who're always talking about how great they are, are usually ok at best, and the ones who always say "I'm decent, still just learning" often go much further.  Their standards are always 2 steps ahead of their ability.

[lostinidlewonder]

If an advanced student puts up something new and "difficult" for me to teach I don't fret at all. There is no need to have the feeling that you have to be a master of everything to be able to guide them through the music. Often I have no time to learn the hundreds of pieces I teach every week myself so the student ends up being able to play it better than myself!

There is nothing wrong with saying, "Oh this is tricky" or "Hang on a second let me test some fingerings out." because as a teacher you are not learning the music on your terms, you are learning with the students physical hands and their mental capabilities. Often a solution to fingering requires investigation between yourself and your student. I have always been highly suspicious of teachers who demand particular fingering without completely appreciating their students hands. Music can be very complicated and no one can expect everything has a simple solution, throw in different hand sizes and musical perception things get even more intricate.

Interviews are hit and miss. There are ways to make sure you present yourself well, stuff you can learn from any self help motivational books. I think what is most important is that you are just yourself. Sometimes that is not good enough, some people when they are themselves are a sorry mess but I think excitement, determination about the work you want to be a part of is essential and that will show if you are genuine.

I always like talking about people and not about myself. Peoples favorite topic is themselves. I always memorize peoples names because it is so precious to their ears. If you want to work for a company always flatter them with your opinion on the company. When I meet new students I always admire their piano if it is a nice one, or admire their home, appreciate their hospitality. If they offer you a drink you don't just say yes please, you elaborate how much you would appreciate it and do it with a smile. People remember people who make them feel good and talk about thing that interest themselves. I know the personal interests and hobbies of all my students and always talk about it when I see them before any music happens.

I am very interest in my students lives, how they have been, what has happened inside and outside of music. People like it when you take interest in their life, who doesn't! When you have this rapport with your students you don't feel like you need to be confident because you have nothing to prove. So long your students are learning and progressing with you and you are sure that you have them learning at their fastest rate, you should be proud of your work and enjoy the work with your student!

I think confidence can stem from not caring about failure and always knowing how to press on and progress. A teacher must be a source for motivation, you cannot get depressed over slow progress or put negative comments towards your students, you should always be a source for inspiration, encouragement and discipline. If people notice you are negative or indifferent to failure and problems in progress it doesn't work well for you.

Some of my advanced student have problems I cannot solve in the lesson. I must think about a solution for a week and the next lesson we try again and 99% of the time we get it out the way. All my students know that we are always working together to solve the problems that they face. They know problems do not always solve themselves immediately and require effort on their behalf only to explore and test things out themselves. They even know that some problems the teacher must even think about carefully.

I think my advanced students respect that sometimes solutions to their problems requires more thought on my behalf. They feel like they will get more bang out of their money in lessons because they know the teacher will be working on this outside of the lesson to help them solve their problem. But the important thing is that the lesson doesn't stop because one problem cannot be solved. There is always more things we can do.

Confidence shouldn't be ruined if you face adversity. In fact its a good thing to face problems because you get more confidence when you find out you can work through the problems without wasting time thinking about how scared you feel that not everything is running smoothly. Just get on with it and don't think so much