frustration (warning: rant ahead)

[elsie07]

I've been teaching privately for almost four years.  Currently I only have two students, an eight-year-old girl and a ten-year-old boy, since that is all my schedule allows.  The girl loves to compose and improvise, but she does this to the exclusion of her actual practice.  I don't know what to do with her.  I have talked with her and her mother.  I have written out detailed practice instructions.  I have written less detailed practice instructions.  I have required a certain amount of practice.  I have required not a certain number of minutes but working towards a goal instead.  I have given her large assignments.  I have given her small assignments.  I have tried all kinds and styles of music.  She also does not read music very well.  I have worked with her on this as well.  I have tried flashcards - but she doesn't practice them at home.  I have tried going back to simpler pieces - but she won't play them.  I don't know WHAT to do with her.  She has taken lessons for over two years and enjoys coming to lessons.  She also loves to compose and improvise and she's very good at it.  She understands what different musical terms and concepts mean, but I can't teach her very well if she doesn't do her part.  I am getting so frustrated and I feel like giving up.  I'm getting the feeling that maybe I'm doing something wrong.  My former teacher, who I had in the spring, was wonderful and gave me some great suggestions on teaching in general, though not with this particular problem (mainly because I didn't feel this way at the time).  But he moved out of the area suddenly this summer and I don't have contact information for him at his new location.  I feel like such a bad teacher.

Help please!

[Bob]

It doesn't sound like the student wants traditional lessons.  Maybe send the student away, with or without advice on finding a composition teacher.

Or work more on the reading side with stuff the student could prep up easily.  Really easy stuff. 

Or work with them on composition if you want to try something different.  Try teaching the same concept, but have the student write their own piece using that idea. 

I don't think it's you.  It's sounds like the student wants to create more.

[a-sharp]

It seems like somehow, if you feel like she trusts you, and what she says (ask her directly - do you trust me? sounds crazy but, seriously)... if you can convince her that a. you fully support her desire to compose/improvise and b. in order to get good at that, she needs to learn how to read music, or else she'll end up merely 'fiddling' with no clue as to what or how she's doing it... maybe you could get her to cooperate a little.

Have you seen the "American Popular Piano" method books? The Etudes books are designed to teach improvisation... I have yet to use them, but I have the first couple books... and we discussed them in my pedagogy class a while back - they seemed fun & interesting & modern in it's approach.

I don't know what else to say - I doubt you're a bad teacher - try having a heart-to-heart with her - ultimately, what's important is that you establish the connection so she'll trust you enough to take your direction/advise. If you can't establish that, perhaps it's just you & she don't 'click...' - but I'll bet you can find a way to connect.

You could always refuse to continue a lesson if she refuses to do any work you ask of her at all - I mean - it's a 2-way street. You say she enjoys coming to you - so use that. I have done that before - NOT in an angry way - just very matter of fact. It worked immediately both times (this was a different issue - a child who wouldn't stop fiddling/noodling - basically, listening to me - but you can modify it. Once you've had the heart2heart, just tell her, you're making a deal - and if she comes back next week having not done ANYTHING you've asked, no lesson. period.) That's what I would do - but I'm mean like that. You do whatever you feel comfortable doing. I'm sure you can make it work!

Good luck!!

[lostinidlewonder]

Stop being so nice to these students, they are walking all over you. Tighten up and force your lesson to work during your lesson. If the student gets upset and doesn't like it, show them the door. You are after all the teacher, and your student is far from being an advanced student, who is capable of suggesting the direction of the lesson. I have had some students who are embarrassed if I find out anything they don't know, so they try to distract me by showing lots of music that they know. I tell them, that's good stuff, and encourage them, but always let them know I am interested in stuff you don't know well and what you play badly.

[morningstar]

Stop being so nice to these students, they are walking all over you. Tighten up and force your lesson to work during your lesson. If the student gets upset and doesn't like it, show them the door. You are after all the teacher, and your student is far from being an advanced student, who is capable of suggesting the direction of the lesson. I have had some students who are embarrassed if I find out anything they don't know, so they try to distract me by showing lots of music that they know. I tell them, that's good stuff, and encourage them, but always let them know I am interested in stuff you don't know well and what you play badly.

I concur to an extent. It may not be a bad idea to let them choose what they want to do in the lesson, my former teacher did this and found it to be quite productive as the student is more interested in the thing they pick. However only give them options that are central to the structure of the lesson so they don't just go off and do things you aren't interested in teaching them at the time. If they don't like it tell them "tough". I had similar problems with a 2 of my students (though definitely not to such an extent) and it worked fairly well with them.

[juelle]

It sounds like the parents aren't backing you.  I've had similar situations, though rarely; and that was the case.  I couldn't get the parents to even discuss it with me, so I quit, if they didn't first.  Most of the parents in my studio are really on the team, and it makes such a difference. 

You deserve better students!

[tompickle]

unfortunately as teachers, we sometimes have students who only come to their lesson to practice. You can think of clever games or contests, talk to the parents, send home numerous practicing charts, but unless the student is willing to do their part there's not much more the teacher can do.  At least they still come to their lesson and hopefully learn at least a little bit each time they come.  As teachers we just have to hope that someday they'll miraculously change their mind and start practicing.

Tom- https://pianomorning.com

[guendola]

How about increasing your lesson fee and start teaching her composition instead of piano?

I only see two other alternatives:

Give up
Don't increase the fee but teach her composition anyway

PS: Of course teaching composition might have similar problems

[comsmcsc]

I am not sure if your lessons are long enough, but how about dividing up her lesson into two parts?  The first part would consist of all the things you want her to practice and would be at least two thirds of the lesson time.  Explain to her that she must do well in that part of the lesson in order to move onto the next part which would highlight her composition and improvisation talents.  If she doesn't practice and does poorly in the first half of the lesson, you have her repeatedly go over what she should have practiced before the lesson.  She will either do as you want or get bored silly and quit.

[icanpiano]

When I read what you wrote I see a great light...

She loves to come to your lessons.
This is so great!!! Actually this is the best thing that can happen because she trust you and like you and your lessons gives her something she does not get elsewhere.

So...
What is your goal?
I would say your goal is to make her play the piano for the rest of her life. If you can make her do that I think you have made someone a better person.

In lessons I suggest you try to surprise her. One lesson you can just read to her the biographic of BACH.
Let her not know what to expect. Let her ask for Bach's music because now she knows him personally.

Any thing around the piano and not always playing.

She should miss the piano.
And miss it more and more.
If that happens she will always play.

[johnk]

Whe i was a kid I only played my own compositions, pop songs by ear, mucking around etc, (My mum called it hammer and tongs). I did this for hours every day, only practicing my official piano lesson pieces at the last minute the night before my lesson. My Dad was a very strict Germanic type and forbade me to do this, but I simply never played when he was home.

My teacher was patient and helped me learn my exam pieces slowly, I never did extra pieces than the 4 or 6 ones a year for the exam, but the stuff i did on my own taught me a lot, chords, perfect pitch, hearing in my head, jazz, how to play commercial music in a band etc. It also formed my own teaching ideas. I got on to a talent TV show playing my own compositions at age 17. If I had only been the "good" student I would not have been the musician I am.

As I grew my musical interests widened.

Dont be a "piano Nazi" !

[musicrebel4u]

I've been teaching privately for almost four years.  Currently I only have two students, an eight-year-old girl and a ten-year-old boy, since that is all my schedule allows.  The girl loves to compose and improvise, but she does this to the exclusion of her actual practice.  I don't know what to do with her.  I have talked with her and her mother.  I have written out detailed practice instructions.  I have written less detailed practice instructions.  I have required a certain amount of practice.  I have required not a certain number of minutes but working towards a goal instead.  I have given her large assignments.  I have given her small assignments.  I have tried all kinds and styles of music.  She also does not read music very well.  I have worked with her on this as well.  I have tried flashcards - but she doesn't practice them at home.  I have tried going back to simpler pieces - but she won't play them.  I don't know WHAT to do with her.  She has taken lessons for over two years and enjoys coming to lessons.  She also loves to compose and improvise and she's very good at it.  She understands what different musical terms and concepts mean, but I can't teach her very well if she doesn't do her part.  I am getting so frustrated and I feel like giving up.  I'm getting the feeling that maybe I'm doing something wrong.  My former teacher, who I had in the spring, was wonderful and gave me some great suggestions on teaching in general, though not with this particular problem (mainly because I didn't feel this way at the time).  But he moved out of the area suddenly this summer and I don't have contact information for him at his new location.  I feel like such a bad teacher.

Help please!

Motivation to learn anything comes from enjoyment.
One who enjoys doing something can achieve a lot.
One who lost a motivation is lost forever.

[a-sharp]

One who lost a motivation is lost forever.

This is not true. I am an example of that being absolutely not true. It may be true sometimes, but just b/c something is lost, does not in anyway mean it is lost forever. Same goes with people... Life is unpredictable like that. It's what makes life interesting and exciting.

my 2 cents - fwiw.

[musicrebel4u]

This is not true. I am an example of that being absolutely not true. It may be true sometimes, but just b/c something is lost, does not in anyway mean it is lost forever. Same goes with people... Life is unpredictable like that. It's what makes life interesting and exciting.

my 2 cents - fwiw.

I wish to be as optimistic... However, statistic is opposite:
for every 100 piano method books of the Primer level publishers sale 10 books for 1 level and 1 book for 2nd level.

[pianowolfi]

I wish to be as optimistic... However, statistic is opposite:
for every 100 piano method books of the Primer level publishers sale 10 books for 1 level and 1 book for 2nd level.

That does not necessarily prove anything about motivation. Many students/teachers leave the method books after a while and just play pieces.

[keypeg]

for every 100 piano method books of the Primer level publishers sale 10 books for 1 level and 1 book for 2nd level.

Why must piano method books be used?  Can't a good teacher devise their own program?  Or choose to start with method books, and move on to pieces, studies exercises of their own choosing?

The RCM uses a combination of practical book, recommended studies for each grade level to supplement, a syllabus that includes which skills should be learned at each level, a book containing a selection of pieces, and again in the syllabus, alternate pieces from each category.  There is no method book in sight.

How many of those starting at preliminary and grade one continue to the higher levels.  Any statistics in exams?  Perhaps that is a better indication than purchase of a particular type of book. ?

[a-sharp]

I wish to be as optimistic... However, statistic is opposite:
for every 100 piano method books of the Primer level publishers sale 10 books for 1 level and 1 book for 2nd level.

My comment had nothing to do with method books - it was in response to what I quoted. Simply b/c someone has lost motivation in one moment, one day, one decade, does not mean it will never come back. No can say that for sure, not even the one who has lost motivation.