I decided to give this a shot because I need practice using notation software.
This matches your original meter:
In my opinion, there's too much going on there to be able to discern the different voices easily.
I like the following one much better; halving the time signature seems to make a significant difference in readability:
There may be other and better ways of notating this passage as well, and I'm not certain of the precise vertical alignment of the rests that would be used in traditional engraving of polyphonic music.
Topic: question