How to teach student who wants to play by ear

[fleetfingers]

Hi, I'm pretty new here. This is my first question.
I have a student who has just transferred to me. She can sightread basic stuff, but doesn't like to, and she won't watch my fingers when I am showing her how to play something. Whether she is supposed to be reading the music or copying what I play, she will only use her ears and try to guess what she heard. If she were good at it, I might not mind so much, but she usually gets it wrong. When I try to correct her, she pushes my hand away or ignores me as she tries to figure it out herself. She is barely 6 and has been playing since she was 3.
I have never had such a stubborn student before and do not know how to handle it. Do I establish myself as "in charge" and insist she follow my instructions, or do I be patient and let her figure it out by ear if that's what she prefers to do?
Any ideas or suggestions are appreciated. Thanks in advance!

[Bob]

Maybe do some ear training and composition/improvisation things?  If she writes out what she comes up with that would help.  Although she's six so...

Are you sure she's actually reading the music?  It could be she's got things memorized and if you are asking her to read music you're asking her to do something that's difficult for her.  Or there could be a learning disability, who knows. 

I'm kind of curious on responses.  There are lots of people out there playing by ear.  If you had her start figuring out how to play pieces by a recording you make for her I could see that preventing her from learning to read music better. 

Maybe give her some more easier music so it's not that much of a mental strain to read.  She sounds young though.  If she was pushed to use music in the past that may have been too much too soon and she may have learned some stress and frustration into using music.  What are they doing at six?  Learning to read words and do addition? 

Or maybe give her some music where the first part of a phrase is written out and she has to create the last part.  That way she has to do some reading (or preparing) and still can play something more free.

[quantum]

6 is pretty young.  Her language and reading skills would probably be at early stages still.  

However, how she is reacting does raise some questions.  How is her eyesight?  Does she need glasses?  

Try to make the learning activities into games.  Ear playback - the more correct notes the more points.  If she reaches certain amount of points she gets a reward - like a sticker.  Also do this with reading.  Maybe a line of music is still too much for her.  Try single notes with flash cards.  

Also as Bob said, get her to do composition/improvisation.  Let her create instead of trying to recreate.  Ask her to find different types of sound: fun sounds, mysterious sounds, high sounds, low sounds.  Ask her to tell a story through improvising. 

[ask_why]

However, how she is reacting does raise some questions.  How is her eyesight?  Does she need glasses?  

I was wondering the same thing as I read the first post.  Is it possible she has some sort of impediment that makes reading the music unnecessarily difficult for her?  It might be worth asking the parents if she has any trouble with normal reading, she could have anything from poor vision to dyslexia...



... or she could just be very stubborn and arbitrarily opposed to reading music 

[pianowolfi]

Oh yeah o yeah. In the beginning I thought actually at lest every fourth student would have dyslexia. But most of them don't have. They usually just don't feel like learning to read music.

It's a sort of authority kind of thing. Never allow her to push your hand away!
Of course, don't be rude. But distinct and very consequent. It's a matter of delicate balance. You can easily lose them. And every individual is different
Some are very gifted and play all the time by ear. Some are just not mature enough yet. Some are really only stubborn. Impossible to tell from the distance.

[lostinidlewonder]

The problem is that children tend not to like to be told what to do. They also do not like to be directly told that they are wrong and or what they are doing is not completely correct. When you teach adults it is different and the total opposite, but with children you need them to think everything they are doing is mostly correct. Then they will become more open to suggestions from you.

Children are very difficult to teach and I still do have a difficult time with some but it is an enjoyable challenge to hold their attention and make a change in their piano procedure. Some who are over confident that they can do something I say ok lets do a test and give them "chances" that is if they can play a passage without x mistakes (where x is what you reduce to zero through the lessons) then this is good.

I have used lollies to bribe them, putting a few on the piano and every time they make a mistake I take away one, every time they do something good I add one. To tease them sometimes I will put 20 lollies on the piano and get them to play a passage they never have practice and take all the lollies away from them!!! They don't mind it, they will say its unfair but I still give them one for trying It makes them realize that being wrong is ok and should be a good experience. It removes the child thinking that you are trying to correct them or highlight how they do things wrong. It makes it more of a game but a game which forces the child to focus on accuracy of their music more so than what they previously did. Motivating young minds is very difficult as most of them do not have long term motivations and exist merely day to day.

[birba]

I don't teach, but she sounds like a wild one!  Come on, she's barely 6?  Sure, she has to get used to authority, but don't break her spirit.  Mine was broken at about her age, but, fortunately, I found a later teacher who mended it!

[keyofc]

Here is an insider stock tip.  Buy lolly pop stock. 

[fleetfingers]

Thanks everyone for your responses. They were all very helpful.

Bob, six weeks later I am rereading this thread and realizing that you had my student pegged even before I did. Her mom was her previous teacher, and I think there indeed has been pressure put on her to do well with the piano from a very young age.

I loved your idea of having her compose and write out the notes! I had her choose a Christmas song she wanted to learn and told her to sound out the melody with her right hand. She came back the next week so excited that she had done it. I was impressed - it was very good. Next week, we're going to write out the notes. She has been learning about I, V, and V7, so I'll have her use those basic chords she knows to provide a simple accompaniment to her melody.

She doesn't push my hand away anymore, thank goodness. I am patient with her, but insistent. I expect her to use consistent fingering and I won't move on to the next part until she plays it correctly.

I have also come to realize that her sighreading is really good in both clefs from C to G (would that be considered C position?), but she struggles with the notes in between. We are working on those. At least I have a better idea of what I can expect her to be able to do when it comes to reading music.

Anyway, there's a little update. Thanks again for your ideas and input!

[aamillett]

I am teaching a student who also plays be ear quite well. Sure playing by ear is a good thing but they still need to be able to read music and play written stuff. During lessons, I won't play anything for her because she will get it into her head and doesn't need the music anymore. Try to have her figure it out and just give suggestions like if she goes from a 'g' to an 'f',but was supposed to go to an 'e', ask her to look at the interval and help her realize it's a third and so she has to go down 3 steps.