The piano's not especially something to shout home about. There's far more passion in wind/strings. Or am I digging a hole here?
You are digging a hole. Perhaps if you're not that fond of the piano you shouldn't be browsing the Piano Forum?
tacey, another thing that came to my mind is this: I'd bet you're trying to control way too much. If you're anything like me, the stress and fear make you try really hard to aim at each and every note, and, as my teacher is fond of saying, the more you try and control your playing, the less control you really have. This is because the muscular tension that results from controlling inhibits and affects the muscular movement needed to guide the fingers to the keys. It throws a huge wild card in there. What I did was this: I sat in the practice room and tried to play everything with as little control as possible. You need to work with your teacher (or another teacher, considering yours doesn't appear to be helping) to find out what this feels like. My teacher liked to show me how the hand naturally rebounds off the keybed and how we can use this energy to jump all over the keyboard. I also sought out a Feldenkrais practitioner and took a Feldenkrais class. These worked wonders, really. Alexander Technique might be a good idea for you as well. You may have noticed how for some pianists, playing the most difficult music looks easy. That's because it is easy for them, and your job in the practice room is to find the easiest (and most musical, don't forget music) way to play your pieces. In other words, if you practice the same passage for a while (let's say, two weeks, to give your hands time to adjust) and it still feels very hard, you're probably playing it the wrong way. Any difficulties at the piano should always be mental, not physical, which isn't to say that you don't come across physical difficulties, but they either become easy with practice, or you're not doing it correctly. Sometimes not doing it correctly comes from lack of experience or technical development, which is what teachers are for. Anyways, that was a little bit of rambling, on to my next thing to say.
College is rough. That's why I'm a Music Theory major, because I don't have the talent or even the time to be a Performance major. One, I have way too many interests outside of the music school to put in that kind of time, and two I could seriously end up hurting myself with the amount of repertoire required. One friend of mine, in addition to all of his solo repertoire, also has to play the Schubert Trout Quintet and a Brahms Cello Sonata next semester. Even myself, although it's because I'm preparing for grad auditions, have a lot of rep: the Bach P&F in F# Major from Book I, Beethoven's Sonata Op. 90, Brahms Two Rhapsodies Op. 79, Chopin Scherzo in Bb minor Op. 31, and Schumann Scenes from Childhood Op. 15. That's not including the Ginastera Suite de Danzas Criollas which, thank God, I've already learned. I also accompanied four vocalists to each of their lessons last semester, and these kids learn a lot of rep, and I accompanied the chorus as rehearsal pianist for a few numbers. You get your fair share of playing in college. Also, here's the rule for learning music with my teacher: you get one lesson under tempo and from the score, after that it must be up to speed and memorized. You also play a different thing each week, and with fourteen lessons it would be very nice to be able to get three lessons in on each piece, so, in my case, since I'm only going to choose one of the romantic pieces after learning them all, assuming I start the Ginastera again right away, I will get a maximum of four weeks between the first lesson on a piece and when it needs to be memorized and up to speed. This is in addition to whatever you need to do on all your other music.
I don't know, maybe this isn't that bad compared to others. But anyways, don't back down. Besides everything else you're learning about music, you're also learning how to prepare it to a quality degree in a very short time, which, considering the massive amount of gorgeous music out there for the piano, is quite a useful skill. Even as much as I love picking apart music and making it work technically, it is a lot more fun to me to play the piece through, and college teaches you to get there pretty fast while still producing a musically pleasing result.
One one last note, as oxy60 said: "Your college years are destined to be a time of learning and growth. Some things/goals/desires/people will be tossed aside and new ones will be acquired." Sage advice, but don't ever toss aside a goal or desire because something is standing in your way, or because you think you can't do it. Only toss them aside when some new goal comes and captures your heart and feeds the flames of passion even hotter. If playing the piano is something you truly love, do not give it up. Research, and seek help. The solution is out there.
Topic: Advice for someone who's completely lost their confidence. (Read 3092 times)