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Topic: 1st Thalbergmad International Piano Competition - Gravesend, England  (Read 2814 times)

Offline thalbergmad

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Dear Friends,

We have the pleasure to inform you that the first edition of the Thalbergmad International Piano Competition will take place from September 10-16, 2012. The competition will be held in the Riverside Park Cafe Toilets, Gravesend, England.

The legendary idiot Thalbergmad will be presiding a jury of internationally unrecognized pianists and pedagogues. The rules, program and application forms can be found on our website: www.thislinkdoesnotwork.com

Please don't hesitate to contact us with any further questions you may have. Our email address is:

madasahatter@googlemail.com

We are looking forward to having you as a participant in this great event. We would be very grateful if you accept to spread this information among as many uninterested older pianists you may know.

The minimum age for this Competition is 32.

With kind regards,

Thalbergmad (autistic director)
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline m1469

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I would like to enter the competition as only boobs, face and hair.  Also, I will play the piano.
"The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving"  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Offline pytheamateur

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Wow, it sounds like a one-of-its-kind piano competition.

As part of its uniqueness, I suppose there won't be an application fee and there will instead be a significant bonus paid to every unsuccessful candidate? Please confirm details.
Beethoven - Sonata in C sharp minor, Op 27 No 12
Chopin - Fantasie Impromptu, Nocturn in C sharp minor, Op post
Brahms - Op 118, Nos 2 & 3

Offline thalbergmad

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boobs, face and hair. 

If anything is likely to swing it with the head of the judging panel (me), it is that.

Thal
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline thalbergmad

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As part of its uniqueness, I suppose there won't be an application fee and there will instead be a significant bonus paid to every unsuccessful candidate? Please confirm details.

The fee is fixed at one pint of bitter and two packets of pickled onion flavoured Monster Munch.

The prizes are as follows:

6th place: £500
5th place: £400
4th place: £300
3rd place: £200
2nd place: £100
1st place: nothing

Thal
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline pianowolfi

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in the Riverside Park Cafe Toilets


If that's a pee contest I must sadly refrain from participating as I am not able to perform the necessary tasks in front of other participants, let alone in front of a jury  :-X  ;D

Offline quantum

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Will the jury be swayed if I shall enter this competition playing banjos?
Made a Liszt. Need new Handel's for Soler panel & Alkan foil. Will Faure Stein on the way to pick up Mendels' sohn. Josquin get Wolfgangs Schu with Clara. Gone Chopin, I'll be Bach

Offline austinarg

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Damn, if I didn't have to walk the dog that day, I would surely enter the competition. Maybe next time.
“Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.” - Thelonious Monk

Offline db05

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Count me in! I'll just grow a beard so that I would look the part.
I'm sinking like a stone in the sea,
I'm burning like a bridge for your body

Offline birba

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Is there a special prize for memory slips?

Offline philb

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For some odd reason the link does not work...

Offline keyboardclass

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I'm in!

Offline ronde_des_sylphes

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I hope there are stringent penalties in place for any performer who has the temerity to offer any Schumann.  ;D
My website - www.andrewwrightpianist.com
Info and samples from my first commercial album - https://youtu.be/IlRtSyPAVNU
My SoundCloud - https://soundcloud.com/andrew-wright-35

Offline Bob

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I can collect those entry fees.  ;D

*Bob notices that male contestants send their entry packets to one address while female contestants send their entry packets, including headshots, to a different address, but nobody has to submit audio recordings.* ::)
Favorite new teacher quote -- "You found the only possible wrong answer."

Offline 49410enrique

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what special commissioned plinker would we be required to perform as part the rep req's?

Offline thalbergmad

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I will be composing a Fantasy on Interesting Themes by Sorabji that all competitors will be required to perform.

It is 4 seconds long.

Thal
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline j_menz

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It is 4 seconds long.

That will be a damn long 4 seconds! :P

If I enter, do I get special brownie points for playing a Plinkovsky piece? ;)
"What the world needs is more geniuses with humility. There are so few of us left" -- Oscar Levant

Offline marik1

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It is 4 seconds long.


Just to make sure, in comparison, how long it takes to get from the place to the NEAREST pub?

Best, M

Offline ahinton

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I will be composing a Fantasy on Interesting Themes by Sorabji that all competitors will be required to perform.

It is 4 seconds long.
And there I was thinking that there might be a commission forthcoming for a competition test piece; ah, well...

Best,

Alistair
Alistair Hinton
Curator / Director
The Sorabji Archive

Offline 49410enrique

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i plan on taking first prize with my interpretation of this instant soon to be classic.

Offline thalbergmad

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Yuck, that is horrid.
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline 49410enrique

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back to the drawing board....perhaps mariachi music for piano ....

Offline pianoman53

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I just want to make sure this program is okay:


Barock: Instead of a Bach-fugue, I will play an own composed fugue, based on 4.33 by John Cage. The theme is 3 milliseconds long, and the fugue itself contains 5 billion voices. Duration: 5 seconds.

Classical: first 3 notes from fur elise, then a memory slip, a repead of the opening, and a coda. The coda is also composed by me. It contains non-harmonical tones, and sounds from someone flushing a toilet nearby.

Romantic: Me singing 'O sole mio', accompanied by my dead cat.

Contemporary: Complete Music by Sorabji. Duration: 0.3 seconds (I know it's long, but I tend to drag a bit on the opening breath)

How's that?

Offline thalbergmad

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Almost daft enough.

Thal
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline thalbergmad

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I am now beginning to think that it was unwise to include my real e mail address in this thread (that I have now changed).

This is part of an e mail I have just received:


Dear Competition Director
 
On behalf of my customer I would like to recommend service of maestro Krystian Tkaczewski to your attention. Mr. Tkaczewski with the highest professionalism could serve both as a judge and performing artist at your event.
Mr. Tkaczewski is a founder , artistic director and president of jury of Chopin International Competition in Hartford, CT. This successful event attracts many pianists from the entire USA and all parts of world.
The competition is proud of its distinguished panel of judges and guest artists, winners and judges of such competitions as: Van Cliburn, Gina Bachauer, William Kapell and Beethoven in Vienna.
Mr. Krystian Tkaczewski has been president of Chopin Society of Connecticut since May 2010. He is also a member of World Federeation of Chopin Societies, Unesco, and Society of Polish Artist Musicians.
Mr. Krystian Tkaczewski is a recipient of over twenty prizes in international piano competitions around the world.
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline pianowolfi

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Omg. :o I mean, well, he's *really* good at op 10,1... but... *Wolfi changes to the Shapety shape thread...and plans a 50 mile bike-trip...*

Offline thalbergmad

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Someone play big joke on me.

Come on, own up. Which one of you buggers was it???

Thal
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline pianowolfi

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Someone play big joke on me.

Come on, own up. Which one of you buggers was it???

Thal

it surprises me, I had no idea that it was your real e-mail, this mail sounds like real though, and I have just googled the pianist:



And I swear, it's not me! Neither am I this guy  :o,  nor the sender of that mail!  :o



Offline thalbergmad

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Well, he can sit on my panel of judges if he wants, but he ain't getting any of me cream eggs.

Thal
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline pianowolfi

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Well, he can sit on my panel of judges if he wants, but he ain't getting any of me cream eggs.

Thal

LOL  ;D

Offline ronde_des_sylphes

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There is a gap in his schedule: (from his website)

July 2012 Chopin Festival in Busko Zdroj July, 30- August 4 2012 Ars Nova International Piano Competition in Singapore, Judging and masterclass September, 26, 2012 Recital at Dame Myra Hess Memorial Series in Chicago, IL September/October 2012 Judging at Osaka International Music Competition, Japan November 2012 Judging at American Liszt Piano Competition in Los Angeles

 ;D
My website - www.andrewwrightpianist.com
Info and samples from my first commercial album - https://youtu.be/IlRtSyPAVNU
My SoundCloud - https://soundcloud.com/andrew-wright-35

Offline thalbergmad

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Surely nobody took this thread seriously and e mailed him??

This is rather amusing.

Thal
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline ronde_des_sylphes

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He appears to be a bit of a serial competition judge. It's possible. I wonder what he's expecting in expenses. The big question is when is the email dated? Apr 1..?
My website - www.andrewwrightpianist.com
Info and samples from my first commercial album - https://youtu.be/IlRtSyPAVNU
My SoundCloud - https://soundcloud.com/andrew-wright-35

Offline austinarg

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it surprises me, I had no idea that it was your real e-mail, this mail sounds like real though, and I have just googled the pianist:



And I swear, it's not me! Neither am I this guy  :o,  nor the sender of that mail!  :o





Amazing!! John Goodman is entering the competition???  ;D
“Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.” - Thelonious Monk

Offline Bob

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*Bob checks for anyone giving him money as a joke.*  Nope... Dang...  That would have funny. Really funny.





Yep, funny... 





*Bob checks again.*   Funny, funny....














Dang...
Favorite new teacher quote -- "You found the only possible wrong answer."

Offline birba

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Whoever he is, he's a damn good pianist.

Offline starstruck5

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This guy is a very fine pianist -

I would enter the competition, but my neighbours have not given me permission to practise. I live in the UK and we sign up to human rights treaties and make laws which flush them down the toilet -am I bitter though -nah. Well just a bit. 
When a search is in progress, something will be found.

Offline roseamelia

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Enrique That's a cool song!
But Jesus looked at them and said "With man this is impossible, but with God ALL things are possible!"<br /><br />~Jesus Matthew 19:26

Offline littletune

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If that's a pee contest I must sadly refrain from participating as I am not able to perform the necessary tasks in front of other participants, let alone in front of a jury  :-X  ;D

 ;D  ;D I can't pee if there are people around either!!! Even if I just know there are people outside the toilet waiting and expecting me to hurry up, I just can't do it!!!!!!!! Once at the doctor my mum thought I fainted because I didn't come out for like 15 minutes... it was pretty embarrassing cause like at least 10 people were waiting outside!  ::)  :-[


There should also be a competition for OLD kids (older than 10) who are still playing "baby pieces" (the ones that usually kids under 10, or more like under 5! are playing).  :P
For more information about this topic, click search below!
 

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