Firstly, I will state that the fact that you choose to appear as "anonymous" to me is perceived by me as built upon some of the same and related beliefs as I stated in my post above. Secondly, "where the rubber meets the road" in terms of this elusive "practically speaking" attempt is something I have come to accept as very individual and not absolute. The very fact that the first point I brought up, and everything I perceive it to be built upon, exists in this discussion, makes me willing only so much. I also believe that you bring up my errors in the Appassionata because you would like me to somehow deal with that issue psychologically, as well as pianistically, and are betting based on some perception of my character, that I am willing to do so publicly. At this point it becomes a decision for me, because most of the things I've stated above wouldn't make me want to meet you (even if I already have), but I know that as a performer, I have no choice but to digest in whatever way is healthy for me, a relationship with the public, so I will procede on the grounds that I am choosing to use this as a form of practicing that ability to digest.
But, I can't answer your question in the simplistic and small dimensions you ask it in. It's not my fault that your question doesn't address the issue, so, yes, I have to take the scope into larger grounds, which is for me the most practical approach as it deals with the source and not just the symptoms. The errors in the Appassionata were, at this point, or if they continue past this point, mainly symptoms. Symptoms of in fact not having a more clear idea first, not symptoms of mechanics, so something I see very clearly in the last couple of days is that I simply can't keep trying to deal with those in mechanics alone, there is something more I am needing to come to terms with which effects the mechanics.
Sorry, m1469 to interrupt your conversation with pts1, but are you relating to a state of selfoblivion maybe? The state when the artist is just a medium, and the music plays itself through him/her?
Paul
In thinking about this idea of singing vs. playing, and the concept that one is more personal than the other, after some deeper thought I came to the conclusion that this is very much a matter of perception, perhaps built upon many factors (such as it being said by somebody who never achieved a certain level of playing but did achieve a certain level of singing), but primarily within the concept of being the creator, and having the actual sensation of resonance in the main cavities within our bodies where we can experience that resonance. Without that sensation of resonance, a singer wouldn't feel the same way about singing. In a piano, the resonance of the sound creation takes place in the instrument body vs. our own bodies, and this is, I think, perhaps the main distinguishing factor which affects a person's perception. Then I started thinking about resonance and what that is, it is vibration, and vibration is movement. As listeners, no matter what we are listening to, we experience some kind of sympethetic vibration to the sound and to the expression behind it, and that is true for us as listeners when we are performing, whether we are performing as a singer or a pianist. We will always experience some kind of sympathetic resonance with the sound, and then the difference with singing is that we also experience the direct resonance of the creation of it. But, again, that resonance is only motion, and in piano playing we do experience motion in our arms, hands, and fingers. The most ideal technique, I determined, was to perceive these pianistic motions as the very same kind of resonance a singer experiences in creating sound; that our motions at the piano are intrinsic resonance and motion with the sound being created, and in both cases, the original source of utterance is our very need. And, btw, if we are intrinsically built with the ability to phonate through our bodies, where does the intense desire to phonate through an instrument come from, if not from within our very being on some level that can't be achieved simply by phonating with our voices? Maybe some people feel personally stunted in their abilities to sing, and could say that's why they play, but what about somebody who can sing but chooses to still play?
The original source of utterance is dealing straight with the whys ... even if a reader doesn't believe in "why" it is dealing with it nonetheless. The why is based in need. Is there a need? Why should I perfect the Appassionata? So somebody like you can't point out the more obvious imperfections? Not reason enough for me to spend the time and effort, to put off hiking, bicycling, having children. It's just not enough. So, if you would like to talk practicality, please feel free to answer those things on behalf of everything my life means, on behalf of everything I have already overcome, and on behalf of my life's fulfillment. Afterall, there are plenty of people already playing the Appassionata, I don't know that there is a need from the world that I play it. In fact, there most likely is not.
So, what is that original source of utterance, that basic need which would make it worth clarifying these places to myself? If I find that, then I believe my performance will be more honest to myself, or perhaps I have reached somewhere that I simply have no need to reach beyond and maybe
that is honest to myself.