Need help dealing with losing

[p2u_]

This may not be related, but the "state of mind" thing made me wonder if it might be.  I have a couple of vivid memories when I was learning my first instrument.  One was when I was in a snit for some reason, decided to ignore my teacher in a huff, and then played very well.  I realized that because I didn't care at that moment what he thought of my playing, I played better, and took note of the fact.  Another is that we have thin walls.  When I played or sang for myself, neighbours told me of being moved, when I had not planned on moving anyone.  There seemed to be an undercurrent that not trying to influence the listener or not caring about the listener seemed to have a good effect on the listener.

A bit different - two professionals both told me an anecdote where each of them at some point gave up and decided they weren't good enough.  At the very moment of giving up, their playing improved dramatically, because what had stood in their way was too great an effort.

This is very much related, yes. It's mainly other people's expectations that put a burden upon us. I like to think of it like this: You have to refind the child in yourself in spite of the material difficulties in the piece. No worries at all; you just do what you like. The difference is that when you are a little older and more aware of yourself, and everybody is expecting something from you, the material you have to play may hamper you. That's why you have to go through the process I described above. It's not something you can decide, not something you can turn on or off at will, at least not when you're not a master yet. There are no other tricks or mysterious requirements to win a competition. You just have to be beyond the material stuff completely to reach that state. That's what the jury is after. If you have that, they will accept virtually any kind of interpretation, even a couple of minor mistakes. Their eyes will meet and they will knod in recognition: "We have a winner here".

Prac­tice like it means every­thing in the world to you. Per­form like you don’t give a damn.

Paul