Frustrated

[cabbynum]

It's probably just teenage hormones at their best, but my fuse has been tiny lately. I've been lashing out a bit and especially towards myself.
Anyone have any advice at all?
I'm having a hard time having a good day...

[Bob]

Direct your anger into something productive.  Working hard on a piece.  Pushing things.  Exercise.  Turn it into something productive/positive. 


I don't really think anger is a hugely negative thing. It has a place.  It gets things done.  It burns up a lot of energy though, but it can get you to do things you wouldn't normally do, to break out of the shell.

[cabbynum]

Direct your anger into something productive.  Working hard on a piece.  Pushing things.  Exercise.  Turn it into something productive/positive. 


I don't really think anger is a hugely negative thing. It has a place.  It gets things done.  It burns up a lot of energy though, but it can get you to do things you wouldn't normally do, to break out of the shell.

I'll give that a shot, at the moment I'm just doing nothing and being increasingly upset about it.
There is more going on that I don't wish to share much detail about. But lots of rumination and my depression is definitely  coming back and well the OCD is at a point where I'm hearing voices again.

[theholygideons]

It's probably just teenage hormones at their best, but my fuse has been tiny lately. I've been lashing out a bit and especially towards myself.
Anyone have any advice at all?
I'm having a hard time having a good day...

Quit lashing out at yourself, if you're having a negative day. In life, there's no difference between a good and a bad day. It's your own perspective that governs the value of each day. If you're having a bad day, don't let yourself plunge into a downward spiral of subconsciousness, accept what is, set your negative thoughts aside, and move on, and you'll find it to be a positive experience in the long run. Listen to some mendelssohn...

[outin]

I'll give that a shot, at the moment I'm just doing nothing and being increasingly upset about it.
There is more going on that I don't wish to share much detail about. But lots of rumination and my depression is definitely  coming back and well the OCD is at a point where I'm hearing voices again.

I would suggest some therapy, if available. You don't need to wait until it's really bad.

[swagmaster420x]

watch anime!!! kids on the slope is excellent
trailer (check it out):

[fore]

Cabbynum, seriously, please seek out a mental health professional for evaluation...esp. given your history, and your described behaviour and irritability.  Proper meds at least would help a lot.  Please don't let these other inappropriate posts keep you from seeking help!

Good Luck!
Chris

[cabbynum]

Thank you
I've gone to therapy for years, i stopped last July, I think I'm just having a bit of a relapse. Hopefully I can work through it all.

For the record, I have a girlfriend and she is also trying to help me through this. Not with sex, that honestly doesn't solve much of anything.

Thank you to those of you who have real advice. I think I'll start exercising again, and I'll write down three good things that happen to me every day. I remember that used to help a lot.

[chopin2015]

I deal with that a lot, too. I have a lot of aggression. I work on focusing it. It hurts so much just to stop playing repertoire and working on simple exercises, just letting go of what you believe to be most important and just sitting down and doing one thing. It could be harder to do this, than to play repertoire, itself.

Maybe, you're angry because you are bored. You need a mini hobby inside of the piano lifestyle. For example, mine is the wtc 1.

Try something that is energy consuming, not overwhelming, and productive. Liszt 6 consolations?

[cabbynum]

I deal with that a lot, too. I have a lot of aggression. I work on focusing it. It hurts so much just to stop playing repertoire and working on simple exercises, just letting go of what you believe to be most important and just sitting down and doing one thing. It could be harder to do this, than to play repertoire, itself.

Maybe, you're angry because you are bored. You need a mini hobby inside of the piano lifestyle. For example, mine is the wtc 1.

Try something that is energy consuming, not overwhelming, and productive. Liszt 6 consolations?

I've been doing the Mozart sonatas
I'm on 8 now, I was doing 1 a day for a little while.
I'm also about to start the philipp exercise book
I'm not frustrated with piano at the moment actually. That's going really well. I'm pretty confident in it to be honest.

[fore]

Thank you
I've gone to therapy for years, i stopped last July, I think I'm just having a bit of a relapse. Hopefully I can work through it all.

For the record, I have a girlfriend and she is also trying to help me through this. Not with sex, that honestly doesn't solve much of anything.

Thank you to those of you who have real advice. I think I'll start exercising again, and I'll write down three good things that happen to me every day. I remember that used to help a lot.

That's great to hear cabbynum you have a support from you gf.  Sounds like you know your body which is great.  Good Luck!

[cabbynum]

Thank you!
I posted mostly because sometimes just writing it down and putting it out there can bring some relief. It did a bit. So I don't regret it.

Thanks everyone.

[swagmaster420x]

sorry for lacking finesse (aka being insensitive) but isn't watching shows/movies a good way to lose yourself? they are a form of art, after all. watching anime always gets me in a good mood ~ btw i don't mean to trivialize anything ~ srry if i am ~

[theholygideons]

sorry for lacking finesse (aka being insensitive) but isn't watching shows/movies a good way to lose yourself? they are a form of art, after all. watching anime always gets me in a good mood ~ btw i don't mean to trivialize anything ~ srry if i am ~

Getting yourself into a good mood is entirely different from transforming oneself positively from within. What you speak of is probably a form of instant gratification more or less.

[swagmaster420x]

Getting yourself into a good mood is entirely different from transforming oneself positively from within. What you speak of is probably a form of instant gratification more or less.

o. well, anime can definitely be more than instant gratification, as its artistic potential isn't exceeded by any other cultural medium. i shouldnt have said good mood. ; |.
i dnt want to presume much, but i think it might be good to read the memoirs of someone else who has/had a similar mental state and was able to deal with/adapt to/overcome/embrace it... i read part of this:
https://www.amazon.com/Your-Voice-My-Head-Memoir/dp/B0091X5MXW
which was an autobiographical/memoir work by a very talented writer who was depressed and attepted suicide. i was certainly drawn to its content but i think the things the author writes about would be better grasped and synthesized by someone who can relate, and would be more meaningful/even therapeutic in that case.