Referring students to another piano teacher

[cysoto]

Have you (as a piano teacher) ever had to “refer” any one of your students to another teacher for behavioral problems?  (Or for any other reason)  Ex:  You just couldn’t stand teaching this pupil any longer without constantly worrying that you would end up loosing your cool with him/her.

And if you ever have had to “refer” a student to another colleague; how do you let them and/or their parents know that you no longer want to have them as your student?

[bizgirl]

When my previous teacher had a student who didn't practice, she would write a letter to the student.  Depending, on the age of the student in question, this might work.  She had each student sign a contract at the beginning of the school year saying they would practice the expected amount (minimum), attend theory classes, etc.  If a student didn't hold up his end of the bargain, she wouldn't teach him.  Similarly, if you have a studio policy that clearly lays out the expectations and guidelines of the student, and the student did not at least try to achieve these expectations, you can just say that in the letter.  I would feel extremely guilty for referring a student to another teacher if I knew the student wouldn't work hard.  Chances are, the student wants to quit anyway.  However, some students get in a rut with music lessons and just need a new teacher to get out of it.  If you have a student who you think would really be motivated if he could play jazz (or whatever), I wouldn't hesitate to refer him to a teacher who specializes in this area.

You specifically mentioned behavioral problems.  If you think the student just doesn't behave for you, for whatever reason, speak to another teacher first, then tell the parents exactly why you think he could do better studying under another teacher.  When I began teaching, at age 14, I knew some students just wouldn't respect me because of my age, but other students worked much harder for me because I was closer to their age, and they could see what was possible if they kept working at piano.  I always speak to parents about their child's behavioral problems and have found that normally they can be corrected in this way, without losing a student.  Good luck!

[anda]

Have you (as a piano teacher) ever had to “refer” any one of your students to another teacher for behavioral problems?  (Or for any other reason)  Ex:  You just couldn’t stand teaching this pupil any longer without constantly worrying that you would end up loosing your cool with him/her.
And if you ever have had to “refer” a student to another colleague; how do you let them and/or their parents know that you no longer want to have them as your student?

oh, i know so well what you mean... i also have had problems like this with many students (part due to my age - too young, part due to their behavior). how do i do this? simply: i tell the parents "this is not working. i don't think your child has any chance of becoming pianist - in which case this is a waste of time for both of us" (in case the kid is definitely totally untalented) or "i don't think i'll ever get your kid to play the piano - try going to someone else". it's as simple as that - say exactly what you think, and if they have half a brain, they'll respect you for your honesty.

[torchygirl]

Cysoto,

I think that the best way to handle it is to not make any judgement of the student.  Criticisms like this are always best handled as an "I" thing.    For example:

"I have a hard time keeping your child on task.  This makes me frustrated and I feel bad because I'm wasting your money.  Sometimes students who are a bit unfocused do better in a group class/with a younger teacher/with a more experienced teacher.  I hate to recommend going elsewhere but I do think it would be the best thing."

If the problem is a lack of respect...

" I hate to say this but I'm not much of a disciplinarian.  I know that your child would do much better with a stricter teacher.  I just feel like I'm not giving you good bang for your buck - and that makes me feel bad."

If the parent comes back with..."I still want to keep him/her with you."  then you're ready with "I'm sorry.  If I feel ineffective then I just get too unhappy about it.  I must regretfully decline."

Good luck!  This is a tough thing to do.  But you can do it nicely and tactfully, and stick to your guns if they come back at you.   I would do it face to face if at all possible.

Karen

[cysoto]

The answer to my original question seems simple and straight forward after reading all the great advice posted here.  Thank You All for taking the time to answer and if anybody else has some advice please feel free to include it.

Again, THANKS!!