1000000 ways to recognize a person who is not a serious pianist.

[dss62467]

I've heard it be played in one minute.. It was rather shitty, but it was one minute..

Well, I tried to find a YouTube of someone doing it in a minute... pretty standardly, it's about 2 minutes.   I can't stand pianists that play everything fast!   What a way to ruin a piece.

Much nicer

Just for your viewing pleasure.

[stevebob]

I've heard it be played in one minute.. It was rather shitty, but it was one minute..

Right, because that's why it's called the "Minute Waltz"!  At least it was just "rather sh*tty" and didn't totally suck.

[pianisten1989]

Yeah, I didn't say I liked it when it's played in 1 min, but it's possible to.

[dss62467]

Yeah, I didn't say I liked it when it's played in 1 min, but it's possible to.

Maybe the "rather shitty" and not totally sucking version played in a minute was just a finger exercise, so the pianist could play it at its intended tempo rather beautifully and not remotely sucking. 

Anyway, the whole conversation makes me hate heteronyms.   IS it the Minute (as in time) or the Minute (as in small) Waltz?   

[pianisten1989]

Obviously, it's not a minute in time....

[stevebob]

I don't mind heteronyms, but my dislike for programmatic titles or nicknames given to any of Chopin's works has meant I've never actually known the provenance of that particular one.

I think I heard that it was coined by one of Chopin's publishers; if that's true, it would be interesting to know which one.  As far as I know, minute isn't a heteronym (i.e., an adjective meaning "diminutive") in French or German.

To tell the truth, it wouldn't surprise me if a publisher did imagine the waltz could or should be played in a minute (which, even without repeats, would be about two measures per second, or nearly 400 quarter notes per minute).

Back on topic:

191.  Misspells "Juilliard."

[dss62467]

Obviously, it's not a minute in time....

That's my feeling as well.... so people have got to stop trying to achieve warp speed and just play the piece so it sounds nice.

[Bob]

This one's sometimes true.  A way to tell a person who's not a musician, although it depends on what you're playing.

Tells you you sound good.   I've run into a few people who seemed to know all about music.  Then I'm playing something crappy and they say, "Wow!  You sound really good!"  I've lost a lot of respect for a few people instantly that way.  Works the same when you hear them compliant someone else who's sounding like crap.  And when you know they sincerely mean it, that they're not just giving a compliment.  It's what they really think.  Ugh.

[dss62467]

OK, Bob.... then let me rephrase that.....   so people have got to stop trying to achieve warp speed and just play the piece so it sounds nice to Bob.   

I know what you mean, though.  I videotaped myself playing some pieces I was working on to send to my father since he never gets to hear how I'm progressing.  I posted them on my Facebook page and there are mistakes everywhere and the piano is out of tune.  I really only posted them because my dogs, cat and child are just so funny to watch in the periphery.   I got all these comments about how talented I am.  LOL.   I'm not a bit gifted.  I could probably perform for the people at a retirement home whose hearing aides need adjusting, but....

[Bob]

Another piece to add onto what I typed before -- Describes someone as a genius.  I heard someone say "So+So is a genius!"  I had never of the composer, but the person sounded like they knew what they were talking about.  Then they compliment something I was hacking up and also complimented someone who was even worse on a piece.  Then I looked up the composer they mentioned.  By that time I'd already lost respect for their opinion.  The "genius" composer information I found wasn't helping. 

[biscuitroxy12]

what number did we leave off on?
oh well i have more.

Thinks that Mozart is from Australia (Austria. True story)

Surprised at a pianist who can actually play the 3rd movement of the Moonlight Sonata in a decent tempo (happened to me. I was the player, not the surprised person. lol)

Thinks that Baroque was the first period of music (It wasn't.)

DREADS their next lesson for weeks ahead.

i agree with your view of the minute waltz. It passes by so fast (1 minute, i mean come on!) that you cant remember how the song went. Daniel Barenboim Plays it in like 2 minutes and that is my main recording.

[pianisten1989]

190-ish. Find a piano forum. Create an accound with the name "slow_concert_pianist". Once you've done that, make a signature as following:
"Currently rehearsing:

Chopin Ballades (all)
Rachmaninov prelude in Bb Op 23 No 2
Mozart A minor sonata K310
Prokofiev 2nd sonata
Bach WTCII no 6
Busoni tr Bach toccata in D minor"

It's important to use the word Rehearsing, and not learning.Since you already know everything there is.
Then, as soon as possible, start spamming the forum with your recordings. It wont take long until some unmusical moron starts questioning your genius. Answer him with "Who the hell are you?!", "Post something better yourself then! HA! BACH? LOL!" or the very popular " SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP! MY MUM AND MY PROFESSOR SAYS I'M VERY TALENTED!!!! SHUT UUUUUP!"

Once you've done that, you're clearly not a very serious pianist.

[gnomeza]

1	Believes Fur Elise is the Everest of piano repertoire, only second to the moonlight sonata.
2	When playing the third movement of the moonlight, will play the left hand in C major and and right hand in C# minor without realizing something is wrong.
3	Calls piano music "songs".
4	if they is not a membah of DA SDC
5	Thinks Rachmaninoff's 3rd Concerto is called the "Mach 3"
6	Thinks Chopin was gay because he dedicated music to George Sand.
7	Thinks Richard Clayderman is a classical pianist !
8	Is surprised to learn that Rachmaninoff did not get the idea for the 2nd Piano Concerto from the song, "Full Moon and Empty Arms."
9	When asked: Do you know any Bach? Proceeds to play the first measures of the tocatta in d minor and the Minuet in G from Anne Magdalenes notebook....
10	Sits the wrong way on the piano bench...
11	Has a bad sense of fashion.
12	when can play the piano with perfect and amazing technique but doesn't know anything about theory and music
13	Thinks playing on the black keys is really, really hard.
14	they start a thread about how to recognise people who aren't serious pianists.
15	Pronounces Bach "Batch"
16	Plays with index fingers only, or the incredibly solid knuckles hand formation!!!
17	he thinks that the best way to play legato is lowering the right pedal
18	she thinks that the best way to play legato never involves the right pedal
19	playing pop songs with chords in the left hand and some 5 note melody in the right hand!
20	thinks anyone with a good technique must/will be a great pianist.
21	Posts on a piano forum instead of playing
22	Thinks a synth is suitable replacement for a piano, even better since it can make 1001 sounds
23	After hearing a particularily great concert goes up to Daniel Barenboim and asks him what he does for a "real job". (since it really is impossible to make a living as a musician)
24	After hearing a great concert goes up to Evgeny Kissin and asks him where he can download that song (Beethoven 5th concerto) for his mobile phone.
25	Blushes when someone talks about "fingering" a piece.
26	Long, sometimes exquisitely manicured nails.
27	the guys who don't get all these indications that show that a person is not a pianist
28	Identified with Elton John when he got to play the piano for Diana's funeral. Thought it was really cool and that the rest of the music sucked.
29	Thinks they can easily recognize who is not a "serious" pianist and makes a list about it
30	Wonders what this "list" is that everyone is talking about and what it has to do with hungarian rhapsody.
31	When I was an absolute beginner I had a teacher who wanted I practiced in a rambling, almost dumb and filthy piano, saying it was advisable for learning.
32	Anybody practicing 2 or 3 days in a week or only during weekends
33	Whoever is trying to learn without taking lessons (sorry, I think so)
34	Anybody whose playing is really bad, but who makes lot of mannered gestures (lisztian emulation looks good only for acomplished pianists)
35	Anybody learning simplified versions of classical piano repertoire
36	Everyone who says he/she will be playing Fur Elise and then only plays the main theme.
37	Everyone who sits down at an acoustic piano and asks where the on/off button is (true story!)
38	Liberace...
39	Doesn't really see the difference between what he hears in his CD of Horowitz plays the Tchaikovsky concertos and the version he plays from "Classic themes for children".
40	Thinks "Alberado del Grascioso" is a Mexican middle-weight.
41	Thinks there are easy and difficult to play piano works.
42	Categorizes piano works by difficulty levels.
43	Thinks the composer was really worried about the level of "difficulty" of his work.
44	Looks at her piano teacher's bookshelf/library and thinks that she owns every piece of piano music ever composed.
45	Asks her piano teacher if she's played every piece of piano music ever composed.
46	Doesn't see any point in working on a piece if it's not just for "fun"
47	Sits on the piano and inmediately looks for the "on" button.
48	Is dissapointed to hear that the piano cant make "funkysynth" or "flutteryghosts", but only comes with one single boring sound effect.
49	he/she who wonders why anyone would want that outer left pedal on a grand that makes you play your piece half a tone too high
50	prefers Fazioli pianos because of theirs paint jobs !
51	Wear grey robes.
52	Worship the full moon.
53	Live in the forest.
54	Prefer Steinway pianos because everybody else is using them.
55	Prefer Evanescence because everybody else is listening to them.
56	After discussing your latest composition and their supposed total interest in it, you sit down to play it and they turn to someone else and begin talking.
57	They cannot bring themselves to complement someone else's playing.
58	When asked to perform with other musicians, they do not bother to show up on time or be prepared to dig in.
59	Stick with a lousy piano in their home.
60	They can only play one composer well and continue to do so again and again in local public performances.
61	Upon entering a room whilst you are playing, they immediately shout "TURN IT OFF."
62	Ask you to play something and then start plonking the keys at either the highest or lowest point of the keyboard.
63	Ask you to play something and interupt you asking you to play something else and not any of that classical ****.
64	Asks you to play "eye of the tiger," whatever that is, I think it's the thing with the repeated octaves.
65	Arrives unprepared for a performance of some of the easiest music ever arranged, played on an electric keyboard with a "one fingered" melody in RH and one note chord settings in the LH and a backing rhythm and still manages to mess it up.
66	Tries to play the theme from "Titanic" on any random starting note with all white keys and still thinks it is right.
67	Gets frustrated and envious of those who are better pianists but practises something like five minutes a week.
68	Teaches pupils who come for piano lessons on an electric keyboard with the easiest music every written with a one fingered melody in RH and one note chord settings in the LH and a backing rhythm and makes them sight read through it at tediously slow speeds while they still make loads of mistakes and harshly criticises unconstructively and doesn't really care whether or not they improve.
69	Thinks they know everything about music and tries to sound clever by correcting you with falsehoods that even they know is garbage but just aim to prove you wrong.
70	Upon hearing a piece that a student has been working on for many weeks, says every lesson, "It needs a bit of work, that one."
71	Locks you in the practice room.
72	Puts pupils through as many exams as possible regardless of their ability or readiness because they are paid more money.
73	Pulls the power supply out of the electric piano while you are practicing.
74	Organizes concerts that are simply I bunch of talentless morons getting up and singing with no musical detail whatsoever and recieving a huge applause.
75	Thinks that a hemiola is a disease.
76	Thinks that a leitmotif is a light bulb.
77	Spends years getting ready for a grade 5 exam and performs the music just as badly as at the beginning.
78	Tries to play difficult music paying no attention to technique or musicality but just trying to make as much noise as possible.
79	Thinks Bach is easy because there is no pedal used.
80	Thinks that all classical music is Mozart.
81	Thinks "Mozart" is spoken with English phonetics.
82	Knows 3 composers: "Beethoven", "Mo-zart" and "Tchaikovsky."
83	Steals music from you.
84	Doesn't have a piano.
85	Their 2 3 trills are as bad as my LH 5 4 trills.
86	Hits the piano when you are trying to practice, this happened many times when I used to practice at school.
87	Plays Fur Elise in such a way that the note at the end of every phrase is nipped and the left hand's chords are always a beat or two behind the right hand, then tells you (when you're looking at them in a non-admiring way that they perceive as admiration) that they've "been working on it for a long time."
88	Asks if you can play any "real music."
89	Asks if you can play Heart and Soul with them, then tells you that you're messing it up when the song (it did originally have words, didn't it?) falls apart due to their lagging (or nonexistent) rhythm.
90	Had absolutely no idea that a grand has an outer left pedal.
91	thinks the greatest pieces of music ever written are Linus and Lucy and The Entertainer.
92	Someone who things you cant be a serious pianist if you dont know a lot about about music theory.
93	Someone who thinks Chopin's Etude no 2 op.10 can be played with his toes.
94	Someone who thinks 'Sonata Facile' is facile.
95	Someone who thinks that 'music theory' is all 'theory' and superfluous to 'real music'.
96	Someone who knows nothing about music theory yet plays Beethoven and Schumann.
97	Someone who doesn't know whether a piano is in tune or not.
98	Someone who thinks 'cadence' and 'cadenza' are the same thing.
99	Asks you what the fastest thing you can play is.
100	Asks you how fast you can play a scale etc
101	Thinks Beethoven is a dog
102	Thinks Beethoven is a rap artist.
103	Says Bach as "Back"
104	Says Bach as "Bark"
105	Says Chopin as "Choppin'"
106	Refuses to play music of certain composers because of how they lived.
107	Believes that a serious pianist should recognize that salsa, jazz, heavy metal, punk rock and rap are not valid means of musical expression
108	Say Chopin as "Pincho"
109	Thinks that Fur Elise starts with a really slow trill....
110	Thinks 'Fur Elise' starts with a really fast and virtuosic trill.
111	Thinks that pieces like Ravel's Bolero are structually advanced.
112	Considers themselves advanced for playing Claie de Lune or Moonlight 1st movement
113	Thinks Cantabile is pronounced "Can't - a - bile"
114	Plays too many notes at the start of Fur Elise and breaks off abruptly into the rest of the piece, thinking it is clever to do so

[gnomeza]

115	Believing that one can master the piano even if they let their nails grow to play the guitar as well
116	Plays a "show-off" piece faster than he can handle just to show off to his friends.
117	Thinks that you are just showing off when you play technically difficult music.
118	Asks you how long it takes to be able to play every piece ever written.
119	Starts to mock you by pretending to play the piano in thin air.
120	Starts to play the piano just because you have to perform as coursework.
121	writes in an exam: "Beethoven expired in 1827, he later died because of this.
122	enters a competition entitled "world competition for amateur pianists" thinking that if he/she wins he/she will have an international career.
123	wins the competition for amateur pianists and immediately applies to get their hands bronzed for later adulation.
124	She or He thinks that a clasically trainend pianist cant play jazz or blues
125	She or He think that Arrau will be the best ever
126	She or He spends 5 hours posting messages but spends 5 minutes practicing.
127	only knows pieces that one plays for piano exams
128	thinks music is nothing but beautiful noises.
129	when someone says "I' don't like Bach's music because it's boring."
130	Spelling Rachmaninoff as ROCKmaninoff
131	Complaining that moving a piano is more difficult than playing one.
132	making fun of liszt pieces by sayng "reces pieces"
133	ignoring the best sheet music website ( https://www.abrahamespinosa.com ) becouse its in another language
134	being mexican
135	Familiar with stereotypes of every piano composer but none of the literature.
136	When discussing repertoire, tells you s/he can play Chopin's Op. 10 No 3, and comments on how "beautiful" it is. Doesn't react when you mention Op. 10 No 4 and the 4th ballade in your repertoire, but when the name Rachmaninoff comes up (two slow preludes - Op 32 5 and 10) exclaims in admiration, "Ooh... the Rachmaninoff pieces are very difficult, aren't they?"
137	People who think that Beethoven's fifth symphony is a piano piece.
138	People who say ta ta ta taaaaaa (fifth symphony) when you tell that you play piano.
139	People who say "WOW" when you play Fur Elise's main theme.
140	When your teacher thinks you are a child prodigy because you play so much better than her other students and can't notice that it's the stupid way she is teaching them that's crippling them.
141	people who only think classical music is good in techno remixes
142	if you go to their house and its nothing but beginer books and cd's no intermidiet or advanced
143	when they think Nobuo Uetsumo (or w/e) is the ultimate composer for piano.
144	proud to be able to play "furry leaves"
145	when you get over to their place and all they have is a 40 key keyboard.
146	when they ask you why there are pound signs all over their music.
147	when they say Mozart has fury..and lacks the moisture...and when one is tight wit dey bad self..
148	should I sculpt the penis?
149	do I play with my penis?
150	do I conduct with my penis?
151	He or she demonstrates or expresses an outward, general disdain for the instrument currently in discussion whilst, en même temps, appropriately illuminating the complete and total absense of said instrument within his or her residence.
152	He or she, whilst in the mist of conversing about said instrument, gives a quote similar yet not limited to, Yes, I study the 88, but, sadly, I must concede, my engrossment is substantially lax or limited to enjoyment for sheer aesthetic value.
153	Short hair.
154	The attire of the pianist. Any serious pianist always dressed in only the most expensive of tuxedo, making sure it solid black as white and other colors arreserved for quayars and the hopelessly confused. He has his shoes polished by personal servant only. Never tip, the servant knows his place. He must always approach the piano from the stage front, place his left hand upon the piano, and take a bow, never bending to little or too much. He avoids rude jesters, such as flailing of one's arms and wobbling of ones head whilst grimacing, in order to appear better in control of his intrument. At the conclusion of his performance he always plays an encore after taking three bows. The encore should be no shorter than three minute, but no longer than ten -regardless of whatever fatigue he feels from his previous performance. He must make it lively so as to wake those who feel asleep during the sonata part of the program. After the encore he must meet with audience and reporters alike where he must, with great emphasis, deny he has any talent whatsoever, so as to not harm the fragile egos of his adoring fans. He must hunch slightly and never raise his head to high in an attempt to be more approachable.
155	Thinks a Yamaha is a Japanese car.
156	Get's drunk and posts on a piano forum, rambling on about nothing. And also smells like me.
157	Doesn't have a regular pair of black dress shoes for performance (I did, i just couldn't find them in time!) so substitutes black, cleated athletic shoes instead. And gets away with it!
158	When sightreading a piece, doesn't check the key signature until half way through the first page.
159	Looks neat when starting to play and still looks neat after finishing.
160	Uses a little wooden mock keyboard so he can practise while watching television.
161	Plays a song an octave too high for the entire song for the entire competition....
162	thinks wurlitzer is the best brand....
163	Puts the pedal down and holds it down for the whole piece, while playing "Blue Spanish Eyes" in 6ths.
164	Hanon is a genious!, he really knows the keyboard!
165	after playing Hanon)...Czerny is a poetry!
166	Spell Liszt : Luiszt ...
167	thinks Siberian Husky is not attractive
168	When one plays the "Black Key" etude in C major
169	have problems spelling the word "dodecaphony" (real story: duostecatony was only one of the attempted versions)
170	Playing/Practicing without proper posture
171	Thinks that 3/4 is 6/8
172	thinks that an appoggiatura and an acciacatura are the same thing.
173	thinks that 6/8 have six times (and never played a music in 12/anything)
174	Can only play at one dynamic level
175	Always speeds up when it's loud and slows down when it's soft
176	only ever plays the most recognised themes from all the overplayed songs.
177	Plays "Heart and Soul." (Even one offense on this will brand you as a non serious musician forever)
178	People who think, playing fast is the main problem for a pianist.
179	Someone who reasons in terms of good and bad based on biased opinions passed on by somebody else.
180	Thinks Liszt is empty show.
181	Not a Piano Major
182	Actually enjoys accompanying singers.
183	They dont "say" anything when they play
184	Believes that the ending of Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody #2 requires the most complex thought process known to man and calls it a "level 10 technique" that the likes of Rachmaninov, Hamelin and Horowitz had to fake because they do/did not have the ability to process the required 20 variables in order to play "40 confusing hand changes in 3 seconds".
185	Comes out to play the Tchaikovsky Bb concerto with an orchestra, splatters the first three chords and then throws up all over the keys.
186	Signs up to a piano forum website and occasionally leaves samples of their playing in the form of MIDI files or excerpts of professional performances and expects this to be enough to get da respekt, innit?
187	If they're not playing "big" pieces anymore.
188	Pronounces Liszt as "Litz" (true story)
189	Announces that they "don't have any finger coordination." (true story)
190	cleans the piano keys with baby wipes (true story--left them very gunky...okay these are all true stories)
191	only plays the piano when drunk
192	constantly announces that Mozart was a genius but has no idea why
193	was not aware that grand pianos come in different sizes
194	thinks all pianos sound the same
195	cannot tell when a piano is out of tune
196	walks into your house and drops their coat and backpack onto your grand piano (I almost died)
197	Attempts to pass their piano exam by playing their scales one octave, one hand
198	was not aware you have to practice every day to get good
199	Visits your house, observes your Bosie 225 and later tells friends that you have a beautiful baby grand in your living room.
200	Asks if you can play any of Chopin's symphonies on the piano.
201	Thinks that the Starwars and the Indiana Jones theme song was composed by Raffmaninoff.
202	people who play modern music only and nothing more.
203	People who play music from the past and nothing more
204	spells fur elise Fleur De Lis
205	Thinks that if they complete their piano method, they can play anything!
206	a piano student who doesn't play everything, from renaissance to new composed music (notice that most of the time it's due to a non-serious-musician teacher)
207	a pianist - after those formative years - who doesn't have the creativity to develop a unique repertory, and stuck to mainstream music only (and there is no excuse: even if someone must play that because of her/his professional career, there is always space for something different).
208	Refers to arpeggios as "those crazy things he does with his hands".
209	Doesn't realize Moonlight is in C# minor, and that there's more than the first mvt
210	Posts, in a public piano forum, terrible recordings of pieces being sight-read, instead of practising them until they are good.
211	Thinks that you are playing a piece wrong just because you interpret it differently to the pianist they are used to hearing.
212	maybe?) Start clapping after the first movement in moonlight, only because you didn't know there were any more movements.
213	Think the first movement in moonlight and second movement of pathetique accually are 2 movements from the same piece, but still are called Moonlight and Pathetique (true story)
214	What do you mean too loud and without tempo?! Atleast he plays it with FEELING!!"
215	Play a piece, and when it gets difficult, you stop and start playing an other one..
216	Answers "True" to the following True or False question: "Beethoven wrote two symphonies: the 5th and the 9th"
217	Plays the 2nd part of Fur Elise retardedly fast so he can brag that he's better than you...
218	Sincerely believes that Fur Elise is the most amazing piece in the universe and also pronounces it wrong.
219	he/she plays several pieces, difficult ones, but none of them well.
220	Believes that the "Minute Waltz" can be (and in fact is meant to be) played in one minute.
221	Thinks musicality= playing with tremendously rubato in every bar.
222	Misspells "Juilliard."
223	Tells you you sound good
224	Describes someone as a genius
225	Thinks that Mozart is from Australia (Austria. True story)
226	Surprised at a pianist who can actually play the 3rd movement of the Moonlight Sonata in a decent tempo
227	Thinks that Baroque was the first period of music (It wasn't.)
228	DREADS their next lesson for weeks ahead.
229	Find a piano forum. Create an accound with the name "slow_concert_pianist". Once you've done that, make a signature as following: "Currently rehearsing: Chopin Ballades (all) Rachmaninov prelude in Bb Op 23 No 2 Mozart A minor sonata K310 Prokofiev 2nd sonata Bach WTCII no 6 Busoni tr Bach toccata in D minor" It's important to use the word Rehearsing, and not learning.Since you already know everything there is. Then, as soon as possible, start spamming the forum with your recordings. It wont take long until some unmusical moron starts questioning your genius. Answer him with "Who the hell are you?!", "Post something better yourself then! HA! BACH? LOL!" or the very popular " SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP! MY MUM AND MY PROFESSOR SAYS I'M VERY TALENTED!!!! SHUT UUUUUP!" Once you've done that, you're clearly not a very serious pianist.

[stevebob]

230.  Thinks Van Cliburn is a surname (you know, like van Gogh or van Beethoven).

[dss62467]

I got mocked harshly when I started working in a music store when I was maybe 21 because I thought Van Morrison was a surname.  Hey - Van Halen was my favorite band, it's a logical mistake.

[liordavid]

190-ish. Find a piano forum. Create an accound with the name "slow_concert_pianist". Once you've done that, make a signature as following:
"Currently rehearsing:

Chopin Ballades (all)
Rachmaninov prelude in Bb Op 23 No 2
Mozart A minor sonata K310
Prokofiev 2nd sonata
Bach WTCII no 6
Busoni tr Bach toccata in D minor"

It's important to use the word Rehearsing, and not learning.Since you already know everything there is.
Then, as soon as possible, start spamming the forum with your recordings. It wont take long until some unmusical moron starts questioning your genius. Answer him with "Who the hell are you?!", "Post something better yourself then! HA! BACH? LOL!" or the very popular " SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP! MY MUM AND MY PROFESSOR SAYS I'M VERY TALENTED!!!! SHUT UUUUUP!"

Once you've done that, you're clearly not a very serious pianist.

Why so mean? slow-concert-pianist can definitely pay up to tempo if practices hard enough.

[stevebob]

Why so mean? slow-concert-pianist can definitely pay up to tempo if practices hard enough.

Whether you think pianisten's post was mean or not, it's manifestly true.  Your own claim, on the other hand, is just conjecture.  (And even were it true, "up to tempo" implies nothing about accuracy, rhythm or musicality.)

[liordavid]

what pianisten said doesnt show that slow-concert-pianist is not a devoted pianist and it doesn't show that he doesn't work hard.

[stevebob]

what pianisten said doesnt show that slow-concert-pianist is not a devoted pianist and it doesn't show that he doesn't work hard.

Perhaps Florence Foster Jenkins was hard-working and devoted to singing, but I doubt anyone would describe her as a serious singer.

I think that s_c_p's posts and recordings speak for themselves.

[gradedpiano]

Anyone who is confused why on sheet music do some notes face down and others up. ( forgot the name for the line coming off the note......how shameful) Guess that means im a piano noob(In theory anyway)

[musicluvr49]

Has to look at the keys when playing scales

Hehehe....  

231: Thinks they are a better piano player than you because their Bach 2-part invention is faster than a slow Rachmaninoff piece.

232: Just started piano a few months ago, and thinks they are ready for Clair de Lune

[jmd1921]

233. Thinks that the una corda (Or far left) pedal doesn't do anything either on an upright or a grand (that was me the first couple of months )

234. Will bang a LOT of bass notes without even releasing the pedal

235. will play First Arabesque in E in C major  

Oh my god, why do they even bother to try those rather difficult pieces if they have troubles sightreading bach's minuet in G?!?!

[thinkgreenlovepiano]

10	Sits the wrong way on the piano bench...
21	Posts on a piano forum instead of playing
32	Anybody practicing 2 or 3 days in a week or only during weekends

Guilty 

[jdpianoman101]

Hey, how do you change your signature??? javascript:void(0);

[jimbo320]

Change signature by clicking on the profile tab, then under modify profile click on 'forum profile information', then scroll to the bottom of that page....

[ekerette]

230. Returns home with a girl and plays one or two pieces. The non-musical lady gets so thrilled n says 'oh...u play d piano so wel'. And ofcos, you can guese what ensued next right in front of the keyboard. So many keys jangled in the act.

[pianisten1989]

@230 Well, then the girl is the "not so serious pianist". The actual pianists may be very talented.

231 To wake up one day and think "Hey, Maybe I should do a tutorial on the revolutionary etude!" Then sit down at the piano, plays the whole piece reaaaally slowly, and record it with a camera from above.

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[becky8898]

Sits at a piano a 1/4 step out of tune playing as if  everything was fine.


Cheers, Becky

[jimbo320]

All the strings are in tune to themselves but out of pitch and not knowing it.....

[pianisten1989]

All the strings are in tune to themselves but out of pitch and not knowing it.....

Why should the stings know that?! :D:D

[musicluvr49]

Sits at a piano a 1/4 step out of tune playing as if  everything was fine.


Cheers, Becky

Well I don't think there is anything wrong with that, unless the pianist has perfect pitch, and can tell the tones are a little off.
   

[jimbo320]

Am I the only one who checks the pitch and tune?

[becky8898]

Hi musicluvr49  - Im only guessing but im willing to bet you dont work much with singers or other musicans.  Most String players think piano players are tone death idiots.  And my goodness you had better know if your piano is off if you dont want to get totally dumped on by members of an orchestra, the conductor,  a string quartet, any singers your working with, etc.  Also 1/4 tone is like gigantic.  E to E flat is half a tone so a quarter tone is right between there. And yes I can totally tell the difference if a piano is that far out of whack . There is usually a reason that a composer chooses the key  he does for his piece. Move the piano 1/4 tone away and at least to me it sounds totally weird.

So anyway  thats why a piano should be in tune.

Cheers, Becky

[jimbo320]

One reason I prefer a digital. Always in perfect tune.....

[musicluvr49]

Hi musicluvr49  - Im only guessing but im willing to bet you dont work much with singers or other musicans.  Most String players think piano players are tone death idiots.  And my goodness you had better know if your piano is off if you dont want to get totally dumped on by members of an orchestra, the conductor,  a string quartet, any singers your working with, etc.  Also 1/4 tone is like gigantic.  E to E flat is half a tone so a quarter tone is right between there. And yes I can totally tell the difference if a piano is that far out of whack . There is usually a reason that a composer chooses the key  he does for his piece. Move the piano 1/4 tone away and at least to me it sounds totally weird.

So anyway  thats why a piano should be in tune.

Cheers, Becky

You're right, I havent had the chance to work with anyone else, maybe I'll get a chance when I go to college.  But dont get me wrong, Im not saying that its not important to have your piano in tune, trust me I know.
I'm just saying that someone Can be a serious about piano, and still not know that their piano is a 1/4 tone off. They just may not have perfect pitch yet.

[kelly_kelly]

You're right, I havent had the chance to work with anyone else, maybe I'll get a chance when I go to college.  But dont get me wrong, Im not saying that its not important to have your piano in tune, trust me I know.
I'm just saying that someone Can be a serious about piano, and still not know that their piano is a 1/4 tone off. They just may not have perfect pitch yet.

I agree with you in theory. I consider myself a serious amateur musician, and I doubt I could tell if a piano was transposed perfectly by a quarter tone. But unless a piano tuner were playing a malicious joke, it would be really odd if the whole piano was a quarter tone off in a self-consistent way. By the time a piano is that out of tune, the notes will usually no longer be in tune with each other, and a serious pianist who has acquired decent relative pitch would probably be able to tell, as they would be if they were playing with other musicians. Call me a "tone deaf idiot", but in my experience there are plenty of good musicians without perfect pitch, and likewise plenty of mediocre to bad musicians with perfect pitch. And yes, I also play a string instrument at a reasonable level of proficiency.

[countrymath]

230.  Thinks Van Cliburn is a surname (you know, like van Gogh or van Beethoven).

232 - Thinks that Van Halen was a german composer.