I don't think my piano teacher likes me.

[anonymoususername912381]

Hello everybody.

I am quite new to piano and only played for around 6 months. I learned to play the piano via videos and help from friends. I felt pretty confident in myself and want to take piano more seriously and so I got a private instructor.

Problem is, she doesn't like me. When I make a mistake, she doesn't give me feedback, rather she criticizes me and spits really harsh words at my face. She says something like "I can't expect anything from you at all" and more things like that to demotivate me. After her ~15 minutes of criticizing me, she continues teaching me in frustration. When I do meet the criteria she wants when playing a piece, she doesn't bother to give me a compliment or motivating words, not even a "Not bad". I know that some piano teachers have high expectations, but I'm a beginner and I don't think she should have that high expectations. She is always so impatient with me, always trying to get me to stop playing the piano. During one lesson, she told me to leave early (there is no proper reason for this), but most likely because she does not want to see my face anymore. I don't even think I'm learning to play the piano anymore, instead I'm trying my best to endure the verbal abuse. I really cannot take the criticism anymore, she doesn't even seem to care about me. She show no concerns for my well-being or progress. I've been thinking about suicide for some time, maybe when I do commit suicide, she will show a sign of concern, who knows.

[anacrusis]

Sorry to hear you are in such a dark place. If you are contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

USA: 988 or 18002738255 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME

United Kingdom: 116 123

Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Regarding your teacher, it's not your fault your teacher treats you like this. You have just had bad luck and ended up with a really crappy teacher. I would recommend you quit having lesson with this teacher and shop around until you find a piano teacher who is kind and supportive and helps you enjoy your lessons. There are many of them out there. Please don't stay with this teacher who is abusive and cruel to you.

[sempre_piano]

This is not acceptable or normal behavior from any teacher. Every teacher has the right to stop giving lessons to a student they don't like. But this individual is costing you money and treating you terribly.

[brogers70]

The important question is not whether your piano teacher likes you, but whether you like your piano teacher. If you don't, then fire this one and find another. Your piano teacher works for you, not the other way around.

[ego0720]

Piano is complex. Like chopping down a big tree, you chip at it little by little. And it can get frustrating. The important thing to remember is that this will be a journey of a thousand miles. And you make it one success at a time. And it’s expected that we will make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes we won’t realize a mistake until after the realization. And that will happen.

The number 1 strategy is to have problem solving skills. In this case it’s having the right teacher. You don’t need to get negative. Let them know that you appreciate the time spent but that it’s not working out for both of you. You will both be off better.

Personally I can be a bit brute but the description you give is extreme. I definitely would find a new teacher. And there are styles out there that are supportive. But there are strict teachers too. You need a nurturing teacher at this point and before committing to the next one interview and get some choices. You kinda know when you talk with them how the person is.

Playing devils advocate.. one of two things are possible. Either the teacher is abusive or your reality is distorted and your brain exaggerates or amplifies those negative feelings. You mention suicide so if this thought is a reoccurrence you need to seek help. If somebody said that to me I would rib them back. The old me use to think like you so I know how that goes. I also contemplated suicide. Fortunately I met very good ppl along the way and that helped keep me afloat.

[pianissima]

Ah, please don’t blame yourself for this teacher’s behavior! I’ve come across people like this, and the bottom line is that they are usually just not very good at what they do. Chalk it up to experience and find another teacher ASAP.

[quantum]

From what you describe, this teacher is likely not a good fit for you.  Move on and find another teacher.  Teacher-student relationships don't always work out, it is not your fault.  For private piano lessons, the good news is that you generally have the freedom to switch teachers, unlike the public school system where a student may be stuck with a teacher for an entire year.

[keypeg]

An incompetent teacher will blame the student and can resort to abuse.  The very fact of this behaviour smacks of incompetence.  Leave this person, and do not blame yourself.

Well, let's talk about competent teaching for a moment.    The teacher tells you how to do things.  If there are mistakes, s/he will tell you how to fix them, what is behind them, what skill you need to form first.  Even more, the teacher will be preemptive, preventing mistakes from happening by teaching you things before you start.  "I can't expect anything from you at all." is something one might hear from a bad parent ruining their child, not from a supposed professional.  And don't be in awe of the teacher title, or the fact of being a musician - which many of us adults can be prone to be, which makes their words count for too much.  That respect has to be earned.

[joemama2346]

ny teacher thinks I got my piano for free when I paid for it. Straight up unnecessary and unacceptable. But I’m worried other people will shame me, idk what to do in this situation.

[ego0720]

ny teacher thinks I got my piano for free when I paid for it. Straight up unnecessary and unacceptable. But I’m worried other people will shame me, idk what to do in this situation.

Why does the cost of the piano matter? Is there anything wrong with it? The concern is whether or not it will harness your skills. There are a lot of missing info. And I’m not clear how it relates to OPs topic.