I'm STUCK! Help with an adult student needed, please!

[healingkeys]

I am teaching an adult student that has been playing piano for about 10 years and came to me after about 5 years of taking with different teachers. When she came to me she was playing songs that were too hard for her skill level and she was basically memorizing a few measures each week to get through the songs. She is taking lessons because she wants to play for enjoyment and relaxation, but doesn't know what style of music she wants to play.
She is a very anxious person and hard on herself all the time. She is pessimistic and always says that she "should be learning faster," "should be better than she is," "her daughter learns fast, why doesn't she" etc. She says she puts in some practice time at home but is NEVER happy with her progress. I have tried bringing in easier versions of songs but she gets discouraged and complains that she "used to play harder songs." I have tried bringing in lead sheets and she says they're too easy and boring and doesn't want to play them. She is never happy with how she plays a song in her lessons always saying that she played better at home. If she plays a wrong note in her lessons she gets very discouraged and frustrated and on numerous occasions has even ended the lesson early because she is so frustrated that she played a wrong note. She has to look at her hands often to know where she is on the piano, but then gets lost when looking back up at the music. Also, if she plays a note with the wrong fingering she gets lost with where she is on the piano. When this happens, again starts the cycle of discouraged, frustrated, and gives up. I have talked with her about maybe going to a different teacher because I am stuck with how to teach her, but she wants to continue and acknowledges that she didn't feel she really made much progress with other teachers and she wants to continue because she has been taking for so many years.
I know there are many bigger issues here, but I'm looking for any suggestions on songs for her to play or techniques to use with her. I'd say she is really at the level of a late beginner. She can read notes, better with the right hand. Minimal or repetitive movement in the left hand would be best. She does like the sound of New Age music and also pop music from the 80s and 90s.
Any suggestions with songs or techniques would be GREATLY appreciated!

[bryfarr]

First, kudos to you for sticking with this difficult student.  She probably wants to stick with you because of you're open and flexible demeanor.

I wonder if your student is, in spirit, more of a composer/improviser.  It's often the case with such people that they get very frustrated with reading/learning from a written score.  They memorize and look at their hands.

I know it's not what you asked but I would recommend teaching her basic harmony and how to improvise.  It's not difficult to arpeggiate the major and minor chords within a single octave in the lh and carve out a melody in the rh.  My hunch is that she is going to enjoy learning music theory.  Encourage her to write stuff down at home.

I hope you'll consider thinking outside the box like this and give it a try - - perhaps you can demo for her how to improvise in a new age style as setting up a goal.

[lostinidlewonder]

She has high expectations about what works she plays as you mentioned she refused to play "easier" works and didn't want to study them.

For a change to occur with how she is going there needs to be a change of approach. Sure it is ok if she still wants to study her challenging works but it seems like she laments how slow she is in learning them. How to get faster? It requires that she humbles herself and indeed study a lot of easier works. She will need to improve her sight reading skills so that she can connect with the sight reading/memorization synergy which represents a very efficient and fast way to learn your works.

If her reading skills become stronger then there is often no need to even memorize a work and her repertoire will expand exponentially. This is something she needs to consider.

If she 100% does not want to study easier works which will make her faster to learn her more difficult repertoire then she is really tying herself up in terms of efficient options. There are ways to improve memorization through more deliberate conscious observations of patterns, how to highlight these patterns in your music and etc.

I'd suggest that she improve her reading skills because it looks like she is lacking in that department a lot, this will improve her a lot. Memorization and sight reading go hand in hand so she should not feel that they are utterly segregated and you still can study her harder works, but mix it up with many smaller works which improve her reading. She should also realize that piano study shouldn't always feel like it takes weeks or months to finish a piece, why not finish a piece in one sitting? Why not study 100s of works a year. Why not sight read through thousands? She needs to consider looking outside of her perception of what it means to study the piano.

[quantum]

Your student may be too attached to their particular process, or how the learning process should work in their view, and it is causing them to stumble.  As an exercise, have the student do a familiar activity, but in a different manner, a variation on a theme so to speak.  Revisit the same activity each lesson, but have your student explore a new method to achieve the same task each time.  Show your student it is ok to step outside of a familiar process and explore, and more importantly that it is ok and even beneficial to fail. 

Give your student some self-directed assignments.  For example, do research on selecting pieces of interest to be considered for future study at the piano.  However, your student must logically reason why chosen pieces would be appropriate for their own study.  Is the piece of appropriate difficulty and fit for the student's current abilities?  What does the student find interesting about the piece?  (Saying "I like it" is not an acceptable answer, they must elaborate).  What strategies would the student employ when learning the piece?  The student will be providing all the answers to these questions because it is part of their self-directed assignment, as a teacher you just provide feedback.

[pianocavs]

Hi!

This student's behavior makes me think that there is a factor that is blocking her progress and improvement.
That factor is that she listens to the inner voice that points out her mistakes and punishes her for not getting what she wants, but she doesn't listen to anything else.

It seems that she has blocked her hearing from any other voice, including that of her teacher.

I think that the solution is exactly the opposite of what she imagines.
That improvement would come from spending more time on each piece... analyzing it... discovering what the composer did, how he or she did it, and why he or she did it...
Defining, together with the teacher, what is required to correct each mistake and to consolidate each step.
Seeking first sight reading, giving more priority to precision and less to speed.
And making sure she has a good understanding of the basics of music theory.

For this to be possible, I think that the first step is for the student to realize that she is not listening. That she is only listening to that inner voice that punishes her.
If she discovers that she is trapped in a labyrinth and that she is not seeing the signs that tell her where the exit is, she will surely improve.
The signs are there, but she cannot see them.
If she can calm her mind, forget her rush, and learn to listen, she will surely notice great progress in her piano practice.

If she, or any other student, needs to study music theory, I can give you a reference that may be useful.

Good luck!