How to convince your mother to let you switch piano teachers.

[kilini]

I can't stand my current teacher. She doesn't use proper terminology (everything is songs to her!), she thinks Grieg's concerto is the everst of piano literature (Moonlight son. is the everst of her repertoire), and I don't feel that I am learning anything from her. She just sits and listens to me play, adding a "very good!!!11one" at the end, occasionally pointing out OBVIOUS mistakes. She is also way intuitive; she wants me to speed the Moonlight 3rd mov. up HT!

However, my mother seems to think her sweet n' nice personality makes up for all these. Any criticism of her would be considered arrogance on my part, as the piano teacher is always right. And it's not as if mom understands or cares to understand the difference between, say, intuitive and counterintuitive anyway. She also thinks telling the teacher you want to switch is the epitome of rudeness.

How can I get her to let me switch teachers? 

[rhapsody in orange]

Hmm do you already have another teacher in mind?
Try discussing the issue in an objective manner to your mom, and don't make yourself sound like you're biased or prejudiced towards the teacher.
Having a good teacher is very important and if you feel that you're not learning anything much/ could have learnt or progress faster with another teacher then try to convince your mom.
I just managed to do that last year, and am very happy with my current teacher =)
How old are you by the way? Maybe your mom might think you're too young to make decisions for yourself?

[ludwig]

Yeah I agree with r in orange. Talking to your mum is a good idea, in a fairly reasonable way, discussing your "issues" that you have with your piano teacher... I would find someone and try a couple of lessons on some pieces you need musical intepretation help on, to see their teaching style, and see if that suits you.. It could be like a masterclass sort of thing, I find them extremely helpful.... Then you can make a decision, or at least convince mum to let you have a couple of lessons just for something different... I'm sure she'll be understanding if you explained that your lessons are not doing anything for you atm, time wasting and money wasting, and if this continues you might loose your interests and enthusiam for music and piano playing...if your teacher's as clueless as you say she is

[quantum]

Having a teacher that you can work with is essential.  You sould be able to relate to one another.  Lesson time is not a one way lecture - you need to be able to discuss whatever is being taught.  If you disagree you should be able to talk about it with each person explaining their point of view and reasoning. 

When I was 13 I was just about ready to quit, because I disliked my teacher's methods so much.  Her head was glued to the RCM grade books and she wouldn't let me expand my repertoire.  I finished my Grade 8 RCM with her then left.  I Didn't have such a hard time convincing my parents, as they wanted me to continue lessons.  My next teacher was excellent, and my technique built up tremendously.  I don't regret switching at all. 

When talking about it to you mom, try to talk about serious objective facts about her teaching and how they impede your quality of learning.  As a student, you are very much qualified to evaluate your teacher, more so than your mom.  Keep the conversation business like at all times.  Pretend you are talking to somone at the bank (or similar location) and don't say anything you wouln't say to a business person. 

[kilini]

I've discussed all these in various ways with her. She still won't listen, though. I am losing tons of interest day by day, but she says if I quit, it's completely my fault and never the teacher's. I'm trying to find someone now, though it's hard in this small town. Besides, my mom refuses to help me with the teacher search, and I doubt she would let me switch teachers even if I found someone more qualified. She says switching teachers is too bothersome, and it's either this teacher or no teacher.

I'm 13. But considering that I am going to college this fall, I should be able to make decisions for myself.

[hgiles]

This is insane.  Print this thread out and let her read it.  She will get you another teacher.

The learning process is a lot about respecting your teacher.  Obviously you don't respect your teacher's ability to teach you.  That should be reason enough to get another teacher.  More importantly, you're teacher doesn't seem to inspire and challenge you at all.

How awful!

[stormx]

I can change my teacher without my mother's approval 
One advantage of being 36 
Of course, the money comes from my pocket, what is a disadvantage 

[rhapsody in orange]

Hmm you can ask around your friends who learn the piano too. Ask them about their teachers, and yu might wanna request to sit in one of their lessons to observe how the teacher is like etc.
Maybe you can tell your mom you've 'outgrown' your current teacher and you need another teacher to bring you further. That was what exactly happened to me. Having been with a teacher for 8 years, I came to realise that my progress was kinda stagnating. Now with a different teacher who focusses on different aspects of the music, I feel that I am progressing much faster than I did. =)

[Egghead]

I can't stand my current teacher.
How can I get her to let me switch teachers? 

This should be enough reason by itself!

One question though: is there ANYTHING good about your current teacher? How did you start with her in the first place?
Have you learnt everything your current teacher has on offer? Sight-reading? Aural training?
Maybe you can at least extort something useful while you are stuck with her - learn harmony, use her as a metronome  , whatever. And search for another teacher by yourself in the mean-time.

Once you have FOUND the ultimate teacher you want, I bet you mom is more likely to consider the idea. Especially if, for example, overall the new one works out cheaper  (you could have 30min lessons instead of 1h or less frequent lessons, or try to contribute to payment yourself).

Not easy, but persevere.
Good luck, Egghead

[Kassaa]

Can't you discuss the issues with the teacher? Maybe she will talk to your mother, so that your mother finally agrees with you.

[kaiwin]

First, try asking your mom.
If that does not work, tell her how you feel. >>>> Some teachers are lazy and don't care about their students. Try to address this issue to your mom. Teachers that only teach based on grades won't get you very far, since the grading is standard, and you won't be able to learn above that. Thats why people who teach without the grading system recieve higher rate students. (Also, Check if she has a Master degree  --> should help a bit on how good she is)

If you have any friends that play the piano really well... Ask who their teacher is, this will give you a broader idea of what kind of teachers are in your area.

[sonatainfsharp]

Someone beat me to it, but print this off and show her. Hopefully that will be enough.

[Kassaa]

a bit offtopic, but if the moonlight is the everest of her piano repertoire, can you ask her what she thinks of the Hammerklavier?

[kaiwin]

OH.. and ask her has she ever played any of Rachmaninov's or Chopin's etudes!   

[i_m_robot]

hit her over the head with a frying pan

she'll get that you mean business after that

 

Question


what would you expect or are you expecting to be different if you were to get a new teacher?

if you can answer this, then you can put together an agrument your mother would have to be simply ignorant to dismiss

[kilini]

Let's see... She doesn't know what the Rach3 is (I don't know if she'd know what the Hammerklaiver is, either). She doesn't know what ABRSM is. She is horribly ignorant. She never taught me sightreading, aural skills, interpretation, theory, etc. I still can't use a metronome correctly. And she has a horrendous memory, forcing me to recount everything we've done at the last lesson to her. Either that or she just doesn't care.

Anyway, if I tell my mom I've outgrown her, she'll call me arrogant and my piano playing horrible.

She started piano at 9, quit during high school, picked it up again in college, and now works as a nurse and teaches piano part-time.

I started with her because there's like no one else we know. Her only positive trait is that she's cloyingly nice and encouraging and blah.

If I print it let her read this, she'll say I shouldn't waste my time on the Internet.

Anyway, we've reached a compromise. If I find a piano teacher by myself, she'll maybe let me switch. But only maybe, and depends on the rates.

I really expect to be different. To have more enthusiasm, to know more, etc. Like if a Bernhard like person becomes my new teacher.

And I'm absolutely forbidden to mention any of this to my teacher. My mom thinks it the absolute in rudeness.

[rhapsody in orange]

Well if you've reached some kind of compromise with your mom then that shows that your mom shows some consideration for your views. Now it's probably time for you to start looking around for prospective teachers (you might wanna ask your friends or people in this forum. Someone who lives around your area might know of decent teachers who offer acceptable rates.)
Best of luck then =)

[kilini]

Nah. She was just trying to get me to shut up. 

[Chrysalis]

damn i never have these problems with my teacher....he is very very obsessive with
classical piano music and always has interest in what i did, also is very nice and stuff..
corrects me both on playing as interpretation and emotional aspects...
mayb if you interact a little bit more with your teacher like;

- So that was it
well that was very well played (now poitning out obvious mistakes)
- So eeuh besides these obvious mistakes, could there anything be that must be improved?

Mayb if you go on this way, she listen etc etc.... btw which moonlight sonata is the verest in her repertoire (i hope 3th movement??)

maarten out

[abell88]

Kilini, you're going away to school in the fall, is that correct? Can you survive with this teacher until then? (Not sure you'd find a new teacher who would take you only until fall anyway.)

[kilini]

I'll ask her those, Chrysalis. And there is only one Moonlight Sonata that I know of, and the third movement is a part of it.   

Yep, I'm going away, abell. Three months still seems like a loong time, though, especially since I've only been playing 'round six or seven months.

[i_m_robot]

it sounds like you are very serious about piano

if this is so, you should let your mother know

then explain that this teacher doesnt have what you need to progress as you would like

perhaps (and self could be completely wrong) you mother only got you to play the piano as a hobby

she probably sees you being able to play the most basic works as progress and this simple progress you made was based on the work of the teacher

if all this doesnt work

tell her to call self (not really)

but find someway to make her understand

be direct but not rude

(or you could always go with the frying pan)

[Jacey1973]

Never mind just swopping your piano teacher - swop your mother at the same time! (Only joking...)

[kilini]

Sorry about digging this old thing up, but I just like to say I got a new teacher. She's currently working for her PhD in piano (I think). The lesson fee is a tad expensive, but I'm willing to pay it. Anyway, I haven't met her yet (my mother found her for me without telling me; oh well), and our first lesson is this Friday. Thanks for all your help and wish me luck. 

[rhapsody in orange]

Gee.. Glad to hear that you've found a new teacher. Best of luck with your new teacher and hope you'll like her and enjoy lessons much more!

[aajjmb]

i was guna say "my piano teacher rapes me"

[kilini]

Well, I'm very satisfied with my current teacher. And I switched just in time, too. I have a TON of bad habits that my new teacher pointed out. It's going to take work to correct them, but this makes me feel happier than my ignoramus of an ex-teacher's compliments ever did.