Stupid things non-musicians say to us

[da jake]

Stupid things non-musicians say to us

A lot of things. Then again, it's understandable considering piano is actually about as foreign to people as Talmudic law.

[perfect_pitch]

"What kind of classical piano music do you play? Is it something like what Richard Clayderman plays?"

I swear I could have punched him! 

THAT is CLASSIC. God love the person who said that... i thought it was funny as hell.

[pianohopper]

I'm sure a lot of people get this, and don't think of it as stupid, but I find it rather annoying:

"Oh, you're so very talented."  or something along that lines.

Talent, in my opinion, only gets you so far with the piano.  Natural ability won't help you with the musicality and emotion that is required.  Skill is better to have than talent.

Talent never saved anybody's life.

[xvimbi]

This thread has bothered me now for a while. The posts here make it sound like (classical) musicians are an elite and non-musicians don't deserve their contributions. That's exactly the attitude that will maintain the gap or even widen it, to the demise of classical music, I must say.

There are also tons of stupid things that musicians say to non-musicians. In addition, musicians are at the same time ignorant and uneduacted about a lot of other things and, consequently, they say a lot of stupid things about those. It goes both ways, so don't lean out the window too much.

[teresa_b]

Hi all,

It does go both ways, thus I recount these comments only in good humor, not to belittle the non-musicians who made them!

"Can you play the Piano Concerto no 1 ?"

(After playing  Mozart Clarinet Trio in a church) "It's difficult to be a good accompanist, isn't it?"

And my favorite: 
"Wow, you used both hands AND both feet!"

All the best, Teresa

[guru_of_time]

I have learned over the years to take the comments of non-musicians very seriously.

They should be taken seriously because I would guess that more than half of people at any given concert do not know or do anything with music whatsoever. So, however they think it sounds, many others in the audience think the same.

One funny thing is that one of my uncles asks me whenever he visits "How's that oboe coming along?" I play bassoon lol

[spirithorn]

Once I was struggling to sight read a new piece in the company of a minister who had heard me play a number of pieces fairly well.  He remarked, "I thought that, once you learned to play the piano, you could play anything you want!".

Another one that I hate is, "Now jazz it up a little".

[prometheus]

Well, things like that are senseless, lack of logic.

Another one that I hate is, "Now jazz it up a little".

Haha. This surely is a harsh one. It has got to be a classic.

[Bouter Boogie]

"So do you listen to classical music then?"
























"Well.. DUH "

[franzliszt2]

I once played a Beethoven sonata, and some women said, "eeee I didn't like that one very much. Why don't you play any tunes?" I was quite annoyed because the performance went very well, and it wasn't appreciated by anyone. The audience was very unmusical, but still it was Beethoven, it wasn't as if I just played Schonbergs suite for piano!!!

[jeremyjchilds]

I just hate it when people (usually relatives or distant friends) can't seem to understand how much work goes into taking ARCT exams.

I say "no, I have to practice" and they go  "oh you're so good, you'll ace the exam..."
like they actually know...

[javier1234]

One thing that really drives me nuts is to hear (in this context): "Lucky you!" as if having a skill that was obtained with years of effort could be comparable with a price of the lottery or something else you can come across with!

Regards,
Javier

[thalberg]

This thread has bothered me now for a while. The posts here make it sound like (classical) musicians are an elite and non-musicians don't deserve their contributions. That's exactly the attitude that will maintain the gap or even widen it, to the demise of classical music, I must say.

There are also tons of stupid things that musicians say to non-musicians. In addition, musicians are at the same time ignorant and uneduacted about a lot of other things and, consequently, they say a lot of stupid things about those. It goes both ways, so don't lean out the window too much.

Oh, lighten up.

[-unavailable-]

I usually get how do you play so fast(or move your fingers so fast). People just dont get that it comes easily with knowing the piece of music and the piano. I also get the stuff from old ladies like " I took lessons when i was 8 years old and then gave up, I wish i would have kept playing." Its also really funny when people have no idea what they are talking about and act like they do. Stuff like this "I really enjoyed Libestraum, Mozart must of been in a romantic mood when he wrote that." Sometimes they gt the name of the song completely wrong and and i just change the subject.



P.S. Its fun to mess with the musical snobs who think they know more than you.

[jeremyjchilds]

Another thing I don't like is the misconception that playing the piano is hard...it's not, it is just a lot of work. (more work than you could possibly imagine)

[mikey6]

I was completing in a competition yesterday and they asked to write down what we were performing so they could hand it up to the adjudicator.  I wrote down - schumann abegg variations (and others).  One of the secretarys comes up to me afterwards and says "you didn't write down which variation you were playing??? huh?
o yes, I was also asked to play the air on a g string and intermezzo from cavelleria rusticana for a concert!

[chopiabin]

A few years back I played a bit of a Chopin nocturne for some random people at my house who asked me to play. The guy made a comment along the lines of, "So, Chopin was like the first 'real' composer, right?". I know he was simply asking a question, but I almost cried.

[Bob]

https://www.pianostreet.com/smf/index.php/topic,11931.0.html

[m1469]

This thread has bothered me now for a while. The posts here make it sound like (classical) musicians are an elite and non-musicians don't deserve their contributions. That's exactly the attitude that will maintain the gap or even widen it, to the demise of classical music, I must say.

There are also tons of stupid things that musicians say to non-musicians. In addition, musicians are at the same time ignorant and uneduacted about a lot of other things and, consequently, they say a lot of stupid things about those. It goes both ways, so don't lean out the window too much.

Actually, I completely agree with xvimbi here.  And not only am I apparently posting in to agree, but I feel inclined to add some more thoughts as well.

There are several things which are quite humourous to me about this all, right now.  One of them is that "musicians" themselves say just as dumb if not more dumber (he he) things to other musicians as do "non-musicians" to musicians.  I know I have thought and said stupid things, and have felt really stupid in trying to say things to other musicians.  Especially with those whom I respect.

Secondly, what exactly seperates the "musicians" from the "non-musicians" ?  Amount of time studied, depth of study, knowledge ?  Amount of dedication and committment ?  (When does somebody cross the line from non-musicianship to musicianship ?)  Then we are all non-musicians because somebody has studied/will study and know more than us (or perhaps, in a sense, we are all musicians  ).

Thirdly, in many cases of "stupid" things that people say to musicians, those people are simply reaching out to us and trying to find a way to relate, maybe they are even quite vulnerable.   They want to know more about us and more about music and they want to feel like they are part of the experience.  Isn't that at least part of what it is about for us "musicians" ?  Helping people to feel more comfortable with the art ?  Helping them to enjoy it ?

Fourthly, I would often take a non-musicians earnest and naive flounderings over the sometimes petrified mutterings and/or silence of some musicians.   Sometimes people are so afraid of sounding stupid (and obviously, why shouldn't they be ?) that they don't say anything at all or just give essentially empty words, and I think in some regards, this can stunt a fundamental growth in the field.

I know this thread is not meant to be malicious, but I can't help wondering what I could learn from it.  There are times when one genuinely needs to know how to handle remarks from people who may not "know what they are talking about", and that's just fine.   I do appreciate being able to talk with people who understand about music and musicians, but I also can appreciate the freshness of a person who is just trying to gain a little insight, even if it might be a little awkward.


m1469

[dinosaurtales]

I don't know about "stupid" things, but rather, frustrating things.  Especially from the people who are supposed to provide the positive reinforcement.  Since we all know how much HARD WORK it is to learn and memorize a piece for a performance, I find it really frustrating when my "practicing" is likened to "goofing off" when I could be doing something useful like housework or yardwork.

[chopiabin]

I agree with both m1469 and dinosaurtales. It's true, non-musicians are often simply looking for a common ground with us based on whatever amount of musical knowledge they have whether it be large or small, and we should be grateful that they are trying to connect with us. However, I do not believe that that means that their comments can not be laughed at, because some of them are genuinely funny.

But one thing that will always irritate me are the people in my life (parents, aunts, uncles, etc.) who never appreciated the ridiculous amount of hard work that goes into learning a piece of music. I once played Rach's bminor prelude (Rachmaninov's personal favorite and an absolutely heartbreaking piece) for an aunt of mine an after I was done she basically told me that she didn't like it and that I should play something happy. How is that not supposed to be frustrating?? I'm not even allowed to play when my stepdad is home because he needs some "peace and quiet" after his long day at work. This is a comment from a man who, while I'm not allowed to play piano, will go watch TV for 4-5 hours and listen to the same Eagles (blechhhhhhh) cd over and over again. It just makes me mad that I'm playing Chopin in a completely separate room and he percieves it as "noise".

Sorry for ranting.

[xvimbi]

But one thing that will always irritate me are the people in my life (parents, aunts, uncles, etc.) who never appreciated the ridiculous amount of hard work that goes into learning a piece of music. I once played Rach's bminor prelude (Rachmaninov's personal favorite and an absolutely heartbreaking piece) for an aunt of mine an after I was done she basically told me that she didn't like it and that I should play something happy. How is that not supposed to be frustrating?? I'm not even allowed to play when my stepdad is home because he needs some "peace and quiet" after his long day at work. This is a comment from a man who, while I'm not allowed to play piano, will go watch TV for 4-5 hours and listen to the same Eagles (blechhhhhhh) cd over and over again. It just makes me mad that I'm playing Chopin in a completely separate room and he percieves it as "noise".

Sorry for ranting.

I can understand your frustration, but I have to say that it is unwarrented. The fact that it takes a lot of work to be able to present something is not sufficient to elicit a positive response. You just said it yourself: you don't like The Eagles (shame on you, by the way ), but imagine the amount of work that goes into producing an album. Can't relate to that? Here is another example: we often dislike, sometimes outright hate a version of Rach3 given by a fellow pianist. We do know how much work goes into that, yet we say exactly the same things that your family members say. We watch the latest blockbuster movie and come out with a statement like "that was a terrible movie", yet think about the amount of money and effort by dozens of people that go into making that movie. There are many instances where musicians react to non-musical accomplishmenets exactly the same way that non-musicians do to our efforts.

The fact is, effort does not count. The only thing that counts are the results, and people have different reactions towards them. That's one of the harsh realities of life in general. Better learn to cope with it than build up frustration.

If anything, the reactions that non-musicians have towards (us) musicians should make us more humble when we consider other people's accomplishments. They should reveal that we are very likely to have similar reactions towards what they present.

[chopiabin]

A) They're my family, who is supposed to be supportive of all of one's endeavors, yet they are often not, and can actually belittle you and/or discourage you.

B) The reason why I say blechhhh to the Eagles is not because I don't appreciate their musicianship, but because my stepdad has listened to the exact same CD for about 5 yrs now.

C) This is a man who can watch the weather channel or some loud action movie for hours, yet complains when I quietly practice the right hand of the 3rd ballade because he needs quiet (while watching really boring or really loud crap) - he's a hypocrite.

[da jake]

My parents love the sound the piano makes when I stumble through the arpeggios in the G Minor Ballade (before the meno mosso)...I say to them "it's about 3/4 speed, and I miss a note almost every time on the way down..I'm not even close to having this passage polished!". To which they reply "Can't you take a compliment?" 

They are noticeably unimpressed with a very clean performance of the c minor Fugue from Book 1 of the Well-Tempered Clavier. I get very sad watching them force a compliment, when clearly, they just don't "get" it.

Ehh. Whatever. 

[dinosaurtales]

The problem is, results don't seem to count, either.  No matter what I play, no matter how quiet, or lovely, or perfect, it's an obvious "irritant" to the household.  Once I played the moonlight sonata - the whole darned thing, memorized and all - for my mom because she wanted me to play something for her. When I was done she said "hm.  that was nice, but play the Entertainer.  I like that piece!"

i refused.

[clef]

you're lucky. i get "hey, you know fur elise?" 

lol i get that aswell somtimes

[leahcim]

A) They're my family, who is supposed to be supportive of all of one's endeavors, yet they are often not, and can actually belittle you and/or discourage you.

But what would the praise be then, other than empty? If it were given because they are family?

Why not learn something by the Eagles? At least you might get an honest appraisal.

As posts in here say, a lot of beginners can't hear the difference between different recordings of the same piece - the subtle stuff [or even not so subtle] is lost. It's "Rondo Alla Turka" by Mozart, and it goes diddly diddly dee etc - on a piano it sounds like a piano on a mobile phone it sounds like a mobile phone etc, but it's the same.

Even I'm stunned by the interest in who is playing these pieces [I've never bought a piece of classical music based upon the artist before and I couldn't have named a single contemporary pianist before reading this group despite still listening to an above average amount of classical music]

So what chance does someone have who has the qualification "mother" or "father" of assessing Rach? AFAICT, they give honest answers. I don't like Rach either, but that could change.

OTOH, if he has listened to the same CD by the Eagles for 5 years, he'll probably appreciate how well you play it in an equally honest way - but beware, the path of the classical musican attempting rock, despite how much "easier" it is in principle - is littered with failures - Vanessa Mae et al - he might hate it.

C) This is a man who can watch the weather channel or some loud action movie for hours, yet complains when I quietly practice the right hand of the 3rd ballade because he needs quiet (while watching really boring or really loud crap) - he's a hypocrite.

No he's just listening to the TV, whereas he's not listening to you. If he can hear both, the one he isn't listening to will frustrate. If he turned the TV off, your playing would probably stop annoying him.

[hazypurple21]

So he's listened to the same CD for 5 years. Are you telling me there isn't a CD that you have that you know you'll still love 5 years from now?

[jeremyjchilds]

People say...

You just spend all your time pushing little white and black buttons...

and I say...

I guess you're right...

maybe they are not so stupid... 

[Bob]

I really think these moments of stupidity could be turned educational if you're careful about it.  There is probably some way to tactful let them know the intelligent thing to say.

[026497]

My unmusical relatives said:

"piano is nothing but a box of wood and metal"

"music is nothing but sound, like laughing and cats purring"

"is it worth for you to practise your finger for hours?"

"how can you study music in collage? finding which finger is shorter and which is  longer?"

"music makes people crazy. look at Schumann and beethoven"
(they are genius, definitely not crazy)

"music will shorten your life. Mozart is a remarkable example"
(life is not measured my its length. Music enriches your life)

I don't know how to reply to these rediculous sentance.

[m1469]

My unmusical relatives said:

"piano is nothing but a box of wood and metal"

Well, actually this is kinda true.  It is only more than that in one's perception and concept of it, how we use it.

"music is nothing but sound, like laughing and cats purring"

This is also kinda true.  But this is not an insult imo.  What kinds of things do we think music was inspired by in the first place ?  Instruments were originally created to replicate sounds in nature.  Also, modern music may even be derived from organized recordings of those latter things you mentioned.

"is it worth for you to practise your finger for hours?"

This is actually a very interesting question to consider for a pianist.

"how can you study music in collage? finding which finger is shorter and which is  longer?"

This one, I admit, I just don't understand what the actual sentence even means.  But, it seems you have answered the following two on your own. 

I actually "used to be" afraid, probably still am, of some version of these ones here :

"music makes people crazy. look at Schumann and beethoven"
(they are genius, definitely not crazy)

"music will shorten your life. Mozart is a remarkable example"
(life is not measured my its length. Music enriches your life)

Maybe we don't know how to answer some of these because they are actually quite good questions and remarks. 

What is the piano ?  What is music ?  What are we dedicating all this time of practising to ?  Why do we do it ?  Is it worth it ?  Will it eat me alive ?  Will it actually enrichen my life ?

I think that probably, as much as we try, "we" (us "musicians") do not have answers to these.  Or do we ? 


m1469 

 

[luc]

My little cousin, after I played some Mozart for him, looking at the score: 'Wow, that Allegro must have been a genius!'

Ok, he's just nine, so.. 

[bachelssohn]

"music makes people crazy. look at Schumann and beethoven"
(they are genius, definitely not crazy)

Beethoven and Schumann were both, no doubt, geniuses, but you don't believe that it's possible for someone to be so brilliant that they're insane?

[tkokirrane]

People always ask me why i want to buy a Grand Piano when i could buy a Keyboard. Highly annoying,because it seems to happen all the time

[jehangircama]

People always ask me why i want to buy a Grand Piano when i could buy a Keyboard. Highly annoying,because it seems to happen all the time

LOL

[gorbee natcase]

Have you got a light while your playing the piano

[allthumbs]

I can understand your frustration, but I have to say that it is unwarrented. The fact that it takes a lot of work to be able to present something is not sufficient to elicit a positive response. You just said it yourself: you don't like The Eagles (shame on you, by the way ), but imagine the amount of work that goes into producing an album. Can't relate to that? Here is another example: we often dislike, sometimes outright hate a version of Rach3 given by a fellow pianist. We do know how much work goes into that, yet we say exactly the same things that your family members say. We watch the latest blockbuster movie and come out with a statement like "that was a terrible movie", yet think about the amount of money and effort by dozens of people that go into making that movie. There are many instances where musicians react to non-musical accomplishmenets exactly the same way that non-musicians do to our efforts.

The fact is, effort does not count. The only thing that counts are the results, and people have different reactions towards them. That's one of the harsh realities of life in general. Better learn to cope with it than build up frustration.

If anything, the reactions that non-musicians have towards (us) musicians should make us more humble when we consider other people's accomplishments. They should reveal that we are very likely to have similar reactions towards what they present.

Dead on! But, it is still funny the things people say. You should hear what other professions say about laymen's comments.

Cheers

[chopintod]

OK this just happened to me recently.

I was in the university center playing a steinway grand they have there, and one of the guys from my floor is with me.  I'm playing fant-imp, rev. etude, some wagner, some big-band jazz, etc.  This guy (he's really cool but he don't know piano music) looks at me when I'm done and says this:

"You're pretty good, but you shoulda seen this guy I was watching online.  He could play all the Super Mario Bros.  themes, and one of them he played blindfolded.  It was amazing......"

 

Terry

[mig]

The Clayderman stuff happens a lot to me. Normally, I react very calmly to such irritating statements, and try to explain to non-musicians stuff they don't understand, but once, this guy was talking to me about how awful rock and pop are, and then says something like: Ballade for Adeline, on the contrary, is real music, Clayderman and Di Blasio are the world's greatest pianists, and when I start telling him something about Richter and Horowitz, he looks an me with amazement and says that sure, those are good, too, but no nearly as good as Clayderman. Worst of all, is that he talked with such a sure tone of voice, that he would have convinced me, if I didn't know the truth of it all.

[ahinton]

Great topic. One we can all relate to I am sure....O my other petpeeve Hey can you play me a Beetles song?

That reminds me of a veteran violinist who was playing with a piano trio for a reception before a university dinner; when a student (pretty obviously not from the music department) came up to him and said "can you play the Blue Danube?", he replied - quick as a flash - "I'm very sorry - I'm afraid that we can".

Best,

Alistair

[paris]

there was a joke around , it's based on true story  (oh how can people be so dumb?!)

 one man asks another:
''do you know who mozart was?''
other man replies:
''of course! that was the guy who wrote that ringtones for mobiles''

[rohansahai]

Here's another one....after finishing the 6th rhapsody by liszt, a comment:
"Rohan, you should develop the ability to sing while you play".
Rohan thinks of the hand killing octaves, briefly of Glenn Gould and just manages to stop himself from yelling.

[ahinton]

there was a joke around , it's based on true story  (oh how can people be so dumb?!)

 one man asks another:
''do you know who mozart was?''
other man replies:
''of course! that was the guy who wrote that ringtones for mobiles''

The Mozart reference reminds me of another - although in the context of "Stupid things non-musicians say to us" it should be borne in mind that the punchline here came from a five year old boy. A couple took their young son to a Boston Symphony concert. The programme opened and closed with a Mozart symphony and the first half ended with Prokofiev's First Violin Concerto. The parents were, not unnaturally, prepared to leave the concert during the first half or at the very least during the interval if their son got bored with it. Not a bit of it - he sat forward the whole time, taking it all in with considerable excitement. Even the opening item of the second half elicited his continuous enthusiasm - which, considering that it was Elliott Carter's Variations for Orchestra, was no mean feat. When it ended, Elliott Carter - then in his early 90s - came up to the stage and acknowledge the applause of the audience. "That's the composer - the man who wrote that piece we've just heard!", said father to son; the little boy spontaneously stood up to applaud. When the final item ended and the audience applauded again, the little boy turned to his father and said "but Daddy - where's Mozart?"

Whether or not this is a joke (a musical joke, perhaps?), it is a true story...

Best,

Alistair

[gorbee natcase]

That is a great story, what a cute kid

[Bob]

Worst of all, is that he talked with such a sure tone of voice, that he would have convinced me, if I didn't know the truth of it all.

I have students who talk this way.  I find the whole thing annoying.  If you tell them "well... that isn't exactly true..." they will insist it's true.  If you challenge them on it, they will argue and start to hate you for it for telling them they're wrong.  It's really annoying when they cite someone who knows little about music as an authority over you (a teacher) "My uncle's friend used to be in this rock band and he said that note is a G!  He told me that!"  "That's great kid.  I'm just your music teacher and obviously know nothing about this.  Let's get your uncle's friend in here to explain it to us both." 


(sorry to vent)

[rc]

I have students who talk this way.  I find the whole thing annoying.  If you tell them "well... that isn't exactly true..." they will insist it's true.  If you challenge them on it, they will argue and start to hate you for it for telling them they're wrong.  It's really annoying when they cite someone who knows little about music as an authority over you (a teacher) "My uncle's friend used to be in this rock band and he said that note is a G!  He told me that!"  "That's great kid.  I'm just your music teacher and obviously know nothing about this.  Let's get your uncle's friend in here to explain it to us both." 

Hah, I was probably like that, ignorant to how little I knew .

I know a few people (not kids) who're good at taking very little information on a topic and presenting themselves as an authority. Know-it-alls who really seem to know it all, until you bust them talking about something you really know about, then you don't believe they truely know anything at all. One in particular mixes in a good dose of condescension, treating everyone like a kid who doesn't get it... He's not too popular.

[fiasco]

As a dedicated amateur, my favorite is: "Why do you spend all that time practicing if you don't make any money off it?"  Man, that cracks me up.

[stapler__9_42]

Hey...Nice topic.
Now, here are some of mine...Except, some of these come from a classical bias, and are more like, "What non-classical musicians say to classical musicians" for me...

When my friend was first teaching himself how to play bass guitar, we were talking once and he told me, "I respect self-taught musicians more than people who learn out of books or take lessons."  Kind of an insult to me, wouldn't you say?

A guy who could play piano, not classically, but did pop and jazz improv and the like, told me that the piano wasn't meant for classical music.  What the???

But now, what ticks me off the most are the people who can't play piano, but are like, "Hey, let me do something!" and play one of the following:
a) Heart and Soul
b) The first couple bars of Fur Elise.
c) The "Knuckles" song
d) Chopsticks
e) Just banging on the keys endlessly

Oh, and then there's the guy that goes, "First time playing piano, I played Beethovens Symphony #5. I mastered it just by watching the other guy play it."  Enough said.

[timothy42b]

If there is a consistent theme to the complaints listed, it might be this.

Pianists (and other specialized instrumentalists, of course) are completely out of touch with what most of the world wants to hear, and with the effect of playing their own choices for some audiences.

Can you imagine KFC deciding to dip all their chicken in Hershey's chocolate syrup?  Well, come to think of it, that might work.  <g>  But in general, people whose livelihood depends on providing something for a customer go to great lengths to find out what the customer really wants.  And if that's not what they want to do, then they need to go look for a very specialized customer, like the chef who only cooks brussel sprouts in sardine sauce. 

On the other hand sophisticated audiences don't want to hear schlock, they want substance.  Some of them, anyway. 

As far as compliments go, there is only one you can tell is sincere, whether from a musician or nonmusician:  hire me again.  Words are meaningless;  you might be trying to be nice, or you might not have a clue.  Hire me again, and I know you liked me, and how much.