Stupid things non-musicians say to us

[rachmaninoff_forever]

*listening to some music on YouTube*

Mom:  You're so boring, you listen to the same song over and over again!  Don't you get tired?!
 

[perprocrastinate]

*listening to some music on YouTube*

Mom:  You're so boring, you listen to the same song over and over again!  Don't you get tired?!
 

Put your head close to the speakers and tell her that you're trying to absorb the music through osmosis.

..really, really slow osmosis that takes at least 100 trials to prove successful.

[j_menz]

Put your head close to the speakers and tell her that you're trying to absorb the music through osmosis.

..really, really slow osmosis that takes at least 100 trials to prove successful.

Ways to get shipped off to the psych ward No 37?.

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Put your head close to the speakers and tell her that you're trying to absorb the music through osmosis.

..really, really slow osmosis that takes at least 100 trials to prove successful.

I wasn't even listening to anything familiar!

It was by some obscure 21st century composer and the piece was called white light or something, and the whole thing was just a bunch of really LOUD 10 note chords.

[Bob]

A situation I've run into a few times.

Someone says, "Oh!  I love X composer!  They're such a genius.  I love their music."  

Referring to a classical composer, composer, Mozart or Prokofiev in the cases I ran into.

So I think, wow, that person must like classical music and know something about it, ie They're more into that composer than I am.  Kudos to them.


And then this happens....

Same person.  They get just as entusiastic and word things the same way...  "Oh!  I love Yanni!  He's an absolute genius, Yanni is!  I can't stop listening to his music."


After the third time that happened I stopped being as impressed when someone sounds like... I suppose 'have good taste?'...  No, when someone appears to be knowledgable and have an opinion backed up by more than, "I like x music.  Therefore, the composer of x music is a genius."




A more specific example....
Person:  I really like Mozart.  I really like his Requiem.  Have you heard it?
Bob:  I'm sure I have at some point.
Person:  You know the Kyrie?  Where it goes ba-dum-dum, that part?
Bob, thinking:  Oh crap.  This person must be really into Mozart. 
Person, continuing to blab about Mozart:  ... Mozart is a genius.... blah blah blah...
*Bob is impressed.*  [In reality, the Mozart Requiem is the only piece by Mozart this person has listened to.]


Future meeting....
Person:  Do you like Brittany Spears?  I just heard One More Time (Bob does not know these titles well).   Britanny Spears is such a genius!.... blah blah blah
Bob, doing a metal face palm, listening politely, very aware that any credibility this person has an opinions on other things they mentioned is now crumbling away...

[andreslr6]

Something that happened to a friend:

He was carrying his double bass waiting for a taxi. When one finally stopped he asked the taxi driver if there was no problem with getting the big instrument inside, to which the taxi driver asked "can you fold it?" lol.

I know, it's just the taxi driver being naive, not everyone has complete knowledge about instruments, but it was very funny when he told us that story.

[jollisg]

Something that happened to a friend:

He was carrying his double bass waiting for a taxi. When one finally stopped he asked the taxi driver if there was no problem with getting the big instrument inside, to which the taxi driver asked "can you fold it?" lol.

I know, it's just the taxi driver being naive, not everyone has complete knowledge about instruments, but it was very funny when he told us that story.

That was hilarious! 

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Right now I was just working on something.

Mom:  that's a nice song

Me:  thanks

Mom:  No, I meant the TV

I felt sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo SALTY!!!!!!!!!!!! :'

[ahinton]

How's about "I'm crazily deeply madly in love with Valentina Lisitsa" (not that I've heard this yet from a non-musician, but)...

Best,

Alistair

[chopin2015]

Right now I was just working on something.

Mom:  that's a nice song

Me:  thanks

Mom:  No, I meant the TV

I felt sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo SALTY!!!!!!!!!!!! :'

Haha! So what you werkin' on?
Do you ever work on cycles of pieces until you complete them all while slowly figuring out what you are going to work on next? :?

[black_keys]

How's about "I'm crazily deeply madly in love with Valentina Lisitsa"

looooooool....

[kujiraya]

A student of the opera was having difficulty singing an aria that was beyond his vocal range. He insisted that I accompany him while he learnt to sing it in a lower key. I gently questioned whether changing the key of this aria would have flow-on effects for the rest of the opera and the entire orchestra, but he threw a hissy fit and insisted that he was the star.

I think this incident qualifies him as a "non-musician".

[jollisg]

"I wish i could be able to play as good as you! You have such talent!". No, i just practice, you should try that too

[ml104]

I'm sure a lot of people get this, and don't think of it as stupid, but I find it rather annoying:

"Oh, you're so very talented."  or something along that lines.

Talent, in my opinion, only gets you so far with the piano.  Natural ability won't help you with the musicality and emotion that is required.  Skill is better to have than talent.

Talent never saved anybody's life.

Dude, just say thank you.  That is just a persons way of complimenting you. What do you expect..."oooh!! you are so skilled!!!" ...
come on!
And just FYI, by definition talent is the same thing as skilled:

tal·ent 
/ˈtalənt/
Noun
Natural aptitude or skill.
A person or people possessing such aptitude or skill: "the talent in their Toledo clubhouse".
Synonyms
gift - aptitude - ability - faculty - genius - capability

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Kid:  So, what are you doing for the talent show?

Me:  I'll just play some piano.  And if I still have time maybe I'll solve a rubik's cube.

Kid:  What's the time limit?

Me:  Like five minutes, but my piece is only a little shorter than that.

Kid:  So you're telling me...  That you're gonna play piano for five minutes long?

Me:  Five minutes isn't that long.  Besides the piece loud and fast so that should suffice.

Kid:  Nah bro, classical music is boring.

Me:  Didn't I just say it was loud and fast?

Kid:  No dude, classical music is just boring.  There's no emotion in it.  It all sounds the same.

*This is where I begin to get mad*

Me:  What are you talking about?!  The only piece you probably know of is like fur elise.

Kid: Well duh, I don't listen to classical

Me:  If the only classical piece you know of is fur elise, then how can you say that all classical music sucks?

Kid:  Because I listened to it!

Me:  The only piece you know of is fur elise!  Fur elise is a terrible misrepresentation of the classical genre!

Kid:  Dude I-

Me:  okay whatever whatever.  What music do you listen to? 

Kid:...  Rap.

Me:  All rap music sound the same.

Kid:  That's not true.

Me:  What are you talking about it doesn't sound the same?!  For every 100 rap songs, 15 of them use the EXACT same beat.  And all the beats are repetitive, it's the same thing for the whole song!  They're ALL the same tempo, and even if a song is in a different tempo, they keep the same tempo throughout the whole song!  And there's no dynamic changes in the whole genre of music!  And it's all made on a stupid computer!  I am not impressed...  So don't tell me that Beethoven doesn't express emotion when a single Beethoven sonata has more stuff to express with than the entire genre of rap music.

I said something along those lines.  Apparently I called him by his brothers name which made him mad, so he ended the conversation there.  But I know he ended it because he got OWNED!

[j_menz]

Didn't you once castigate me for suggesting the c in rap was not supposed to be silent?

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Didn't you once castigate me for suggesting the c in rap was not supposed to be silent?

I never said that it wasn't bad, I just said that it doesn't express emotion...  At all.

Now...  Rap is good music to pump you up before a basketball game or something.  Classical music can't do that.

[perprocrastinate]

[...]

Just chuckle in a condescending manner and facepalm yourself.

[j_menz]

Classical music can't do that.

Try a quick listen to the Chorus from the last movement of Beethoven's 9th Symphony followed by the Ride of the Valkyries.  You'll be so pumped you'll burst!

[j_menz]

Just chuckle in a condescending manner and facepalm yourself.

If you chuckle in a condescending manner, you may find yourself being facepalmed by the object of your derision.

[perprocrastinate]

If you chuckle in a condescending manner, you may find yourself being facepalmed by the object of your derision.

Totally worth it.

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Just chuckle in a condescending manner and facepalm yourself.

Hey I never said that rap sucked!  It just serves a different purpose than classical!

[chopin2015]

Hey I never said that rap sucked!  It just serves a different purpose than classical!

R&b is awesome. I looove gospel and soul music. Rap is ok too...but r&b is where it's at! 

[j_menz]

It just serves a different purpose than classical!

A defence?

[outin]

Kid:  Nah bro, classical music is boring.

Me:  Didn't I just say it was loud and fast?

Which is usually pretty boring...

There's boring music in every genre and it is quite normal to be bored by something you do not know so much about. If you were into rap the way you are into classical piano music (actively listening and maybe even producing it besides just listening with half ear), you would find nuances and interesting things that would keep you engaged to it without getting bored. This applies to almost anything in life, explaining some of the weird activities people do...like skate boarding...

[jollisg]

This was said by a organ teacher i had on a course (so she is a musician):
"Well, on piano you cover things up with the right pedal and don't have to play legato. That is why it is so easy to play piano and that organists must work harder".

.. Well, i was at a organ course, so she thought that i was mainly a "organ person" 😐

[thalberg]

Just heard someone refer to a 7-foot steinway as a baby grand.

[scriabinftw]

I am very lucky, as I was accepted into chethams school of music in Manchester when I was eleven, 2 years ago, after doing my grade 8 piano. and you are lucky if you find someone who isn't talking about music at chets!

[iquinn876]

*talking to my neighbour about trying to play organ*

I going to be playing the organ.

Oh I have an organ you can play!

Oh where is it?

Right there! *points to clavinova*

FACEPALM

[Bob]

Recently overheard....

Guy 1:  You gotta listen to this song man!
Guy 2:  Yeah, no, wow... That drummer is awesome!
Guy 1:  Yeah...

*Bob overhearing.... Trying to figure out what the drummer is doing more than playing a steady beat.*  It's a steady beat.  Expected.  Nothing more. Yeh for keeping it steady but it's not remarkable.

Unless they were hearing so precisely they knew it was extremely precise.

Or the real reason... Guy 1 is an idiot.  Guy 2 is sucking up to Guy 1.  Haha.  Guy 1 does not realize this.

[jollisg]

Me: I've almost learnt the first movement of the waldstein sonata by note now! (Sorry if that was badly translated)
Friend: then all the job is done! Are you playing it on your concert tomorrow?

[andreslr6]

Me: I've almost learnt the first movement of the waldstein sonata by note now! (Sorry if that was badly translated)
Friend: then all the job is done! Are you playing it on your concert tomorrow?

LOL

who knows.. maybe you're the reincarnation of Sviatoslav Richter! he learned Prokofiev's 7th in 4 days and then premiered it the next day!

[haydnseeker]

Somebody once said to my piano teacher:

Why do you still practise? You're a professional!

[haydnseeker]

Heard on a BBC sports news report about Chris Froome winning the Tour de France today, after being runner-up when Bradley Wiggins won last year:

"Last year he was just playing second fiddle to Wiggins's lead guitar".

[perprocrastinate]

Friend: "So, you're taking a music theory class? Isn't that kinda pointless? Isn't music just sound? Either it sounds good, or it doesn't."

I laughed harder than I should have.

[kakeithewolf]

Top Ten:

1. "Why don't you use more brass?". Maybe because I hate brass?
2. "Turn it up, I can barely hear it!". It's SUPPOSED to be quiet, it's a berceuse!
3. "You make lullabies... isn't that a bit gay?". You listen to metal... doesn't that make you a cutter?
4. "It sounds like something I'd hear in a video game.". Thanks for insulting my hard work, prick.
5. "I love the complexity of it.". I didn't ask if it was complex, I asked if it sounded good.
6. "Why don't you make dubstep?". Why don't you jump off a cliff? That's an equally good question.
7. "Why do you bother making music no one listens to?". Because I sodding want to.
8. "Why don't you let people pay you?". Because I don't want money!
9. "Shouldn't you make less boring music?". It's only boring to you, pal.
10. "Why are there no lyrics?". I make instrumental pieces!

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Me:  I'm  music major...

Undecided major:  Do you actually...

...

...

Both of us:  ...

undecided:  You know...

Me:  Come on say it.

...
...
...

Me:  Just say it I won't get mad.

Undecided:  do anything?

Me:  ...

...
...
...
...
..
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
..
...
...
...
......
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...

My inner me:  8th gate open!!!

...
...
...
...
...
....
...
...
...
...

My inner me:  Your power level is...

over...

9000!!!

...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
..
...
...
...
...
..
...

*Smoke begins to come out of my ears and the ground begins to shake.  There are flames in my eyes, and horns begin to grow from out of my forehead*

...
...
...
...
...

My inner me:  9th gate open!

...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
..

*I begin to turn red*

10th gate open!!!

...
....
...
...
...
...
...

*The ground begins to shake and crack.  Car alarms go off, fire hydrants burst with water.  The sky goes pitch black and the moon turns red, three tornadoes begin to form behind me*

...
...
...

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Me:  pregnant dog I WILL *** KILL YOU!!!  THAT'S WHY YOU'RE *** UNDECIDED YOU ***!!!  I'M GOING TO *** KILL YOU STUPID pregnant dog!!!  GO TO *** HELL AND ROT!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*I begin to fly and I'm beginning to breathe fire*

Me:  All of you mortals shall kneel before me!!!

My name is-

*My professor comes out of the music building with the Bach WTC*

Teacher: May the power of Bach compel you!!! 
May the power of Bach compel you!!!

Me:  NO!!!!!!!!

*5 minutes and a destroyed block later later*

Me:  ...

[j_menz]

Me:  ...

Good Grief!

What are they putting in the water there? 

[ted]

I have probably said this before, either in this thread or in similar threads, but over the years I have come to value and heed most seriously comments of non-musicians about my music and my playing. The one overriding reason is that a non-musician will answer naively and truthfully to his response to sound. Musicians, by and large, will worry about what they ought to reply according to traditions, and about what other knowledgeable musicians might think of their remarks. The more professional, the more qualified the listener, the less intuitive, and therefore less useful, the comments tend to be. The best listeners I have found to be people who are highly sensitive musically but untrained, and certainly not professional. A few such have provided me with truly astonishing insight at various times.

Aside from this aspect, I do not consider that creating music at the piano is more special a thing than being a good cook, mechanic or gardener, at which activities I am the merest tyro.

[cabbynum]

Guys at school: so are you gay for Beethoven? *group laughter*
Me: yeah

I live in a very, very religious area where they literally try to pray the gay out of you if you comment on clothes.
So my answer really upset them.
I usually don't talk to people when I play or act like I hear them when I play at school. So I don't have many other than that.

Just for the record, I am only gay for Liszt, as stated in another thread.
I am straight

[black_keys]

The last week I was at my friend house

Friend: So..you like classical music, I like classical music too, what music do you listen to ?

I played some Chopin on my phone ..

Friend: Do you have something other than piano ?

Me: ok , here's a Mozart concerto.

[Listening to music]

Friend: but this music contains piano , I dont like piano.

Me:  , ok listen to this (Blue Danube).

Friend: I said something other than piano !!

Me:  what , but there's no piano here.

Friend: hmmmm...... I dont like this kind of music.




I think by classical he meant some oriental music.
 

[timothy42b]

The more professional, the more qualified the listener, the less intuitive, and therefore less useful, the comments tend to be. The best listeners I have found to be people who are highly sensitive musically but untrained, and certainly not professional.

Good insight.

Musically experienced listeners know how hard something is, and tend to give you credit for a good try, whereas a naive listener just hears that you didn't play it right and didn't reach them.

[nanabush]

I love hearing non-pianist's reactions to pieces I like or am working on.  My girlfriend now knows just about every piece by Ravel and Debussy haha!  She can play very beginner piano, and listens to a lot of music (including pop music!).  She has pieces she likes and doesn't like; I can't say "your opinion is invalid because you like pop music"... I'd have to say that her opinions on pieces (She loves Pagodes, does not like Noctuelles) stemmed from her own reactions, and are not 'going along with' what she reads about pieces... I find a lot of people on this forum have some really convoluted opinions about pieces (*cough *cough, their opinions usually have more to do with the difficulty than the actual sound of the piece).  So, whose opinion would I rather hear:

-Pagodes is SO difficult! It gets so fast at the end!!
(I guarantee you can find more of this than the actual musical elements of this piece on the forum)

-Pagodes is a beautiful piece, it's really sparkly throughout, and creates a really nice atmosphere (I'm pretty much paraphrasing what she said about this piece)

==

Using that as a pretty basic example... I agree with the poster above; sometimes a non-musician's opinion is very meaningful!


...On a side note, there are TONS of people who say "WOW you play piano!! Classical??? So do you play Queen??".  I like Queen, but no, they are not considered Classical music... GAH

[stravinskylover]

Just now, someone refered to an imperial bosendorfer as a "baby grand"

I'm thinking......So how big is a concert grand piano???

[Bob]

What it is don't get between the imperial "baby grand" Bosendorfer and its mother. 

[stravinskylover]

What it is don't get between the imperial "baby grand" Bosendorfer and its mother. 

LOL.
Someone who has absolutely no experience with any instrument at all told me that music is incredibly easy, and that he could play better than me in a week (I just played for him Chopin's opus 25 #11 etude, which I practiced for year)
There are a lot misconceptions between non-musicians ad musicians. A common one for me (since I'm in high school) is that I'm forced to practice piano.

[kakeithewolf]

One thing I'm getting more and more now is "Why don't you charge people for music? You could make money off of it".

What irritates me about this is that they think I actually care for money. I don't. It's worthless to me. As well, sensitive information such as location and account numbers are involved in transactions. I'm not wanting to risk being found or sucked dry. So I take extensive measures, I go out of my way even, to ensure I never can get paid. No interest in money.

Then, after I tell people this, they lecture me for a good ten minutes about my decision and how I'm such an idiot for not wanting to be paid for something I do for enjoyment in my free time.

[Bob]

"If you want some extra money, just teach a few more lessons.  Pick up a few more students."

Nothing to it.


Others from adults.... Probably mentioned before on here...
Music is fun.  It's not work.  When you're practicing, you're just in the room having fun the whole time.
If you know anything about music, you know everything about music.  If you know piano, then you know how to play all the instruments too.  If you like a certain classical composer, than you know about *all* composers, everything classical.

[perprocrastinate]

Someone who has absolutely no experience with any instrument at all told me that music is incredibly easy, and that he could play better than me in a week (I just played for him Chopin's opus 25 #11 etude, which I practiced for year)

That is, if he manages to learn how to read music of that level in a week.