Another, newer story

[thalberg]

Okay, all.  We are starting a new story.   The rule is this: anyone who kills off ANY characters before 100 replies will be disregarded as if their post did not exist.  NO KILLING THE CHARACTERS BEFORE 100 REPLIES!  That princess story was very entertaining and it was a crime that people ruined it.

Okay, I'll start:

One sunny Tuesday afternoon, an 8-year old by named Lenny was on his way to his piano lesson...

(AND HE DID *NOT* DIE!!!!!!)

[mikeyg]

LENNY WAS NOT MUCH OF A LIKED FELLOW, FOR HE TALKED TOO MUCH.

[pianonut]

his piano teacher was the only person who could put him in his place.  she would keep him on task by suddenly stopping his playing, telling him to remember six or seven things at a time.  this would keep him occupied trying to remember 3-4-5 and 6 and to do them all at the same time (attempting to impress this teacher with his astounding memory) whereas all the other students took copious notes, set down the notepad, and then played from their notes one or two tasks at a time.

[mikeyg]

HIS OLD PIANO TEACHER THAT IS, BECAUSE AFTER SHE TRIED TO DICIPLINE LENNY, LENNY CUT OFF HER HANDS.  BUT SHE LIVED, IF ONLY A CRIPPLED LIFE.

[pianonut]

without hands, his teacher modeled the sounds she wanted him to make by making noises that sounded like the kind that garage owners ask for when a car is acting up.  for instance, if she wanted even trills, she would warble.  she would make six or seven noises one after the other, and lenny had to interpret what she wanted him to do.

[mikeyg]

AND ALL HER PLAYING SOUNDED LIKE MADGE'S RECORDING OF THE OC.

[pianonut]

but, one day...she went to an incredible surgeon and asked if he could help her regain her ability to play and disable lenny at the same time.  it was agreed that during his lesson (surgeon hiding in the kitchen) madge (teacher) would suddenly complain of a headache and pretend to go look for asprin.  and, while lenny began talking to himself, the surgeon would suddenly appear and amputate lenny's hands - then the teacher and surgeon would race off to the hospital.

[mikeyg]

UNFORTUNATELY, LENNY'S HANDS SHRIVELED UP BEFORE THEY COULD PUT THEM ON, SO NOW OUR TALE HAS 2 CRIPPLES IN IT.


[GOOD JOB PIANONUT.  REAL NICE]

[thalberg]

Surprisingly unfazed by his sudden misfortune, Lenny made an on-the-spot decision to become a radio announcer instead of a pianist.  After all, talking was what he REALLY enjoyed anyway.  At his interview, the station manager was taken aback by his shriveled hands, but hired Lenny anyhow.  He gave Lenny his own show called.......

Meanwhile, the doctor worked to give the piano teacher, Mrs. Bang, her hands back....

[thalberg]

(Mrs. Madge Bang--let's keep this straight....)

[klavierkonzerte]

at that exact moment the old radio announcer, who just escaped from the asylum, apeared out of nowhere and.........

meanwhile the doctor and medge were looking for a hand doner when BAAAM medge was hit by the speeding asylm car looking for bob (the old radio announcer), the car fliped over and all the crazy people in the cages in the back escaped causing a riot on the city but medge didn't die.

[pianonut]

that is because she prayed.  well, and she didn't want to die without hands.  it doesn't look right for a pianist named mrs. madge bang?  distracted by being run over by the speeding asylum escapee seeking car and then seeing bob (bob, where have you been?) - she staggers over to the car and asks if he is ok.  he says, "i'm fine, get in.  there's plenty of room - say, what happened to your hands?"  "and, may i ask, who is this man in the white coat on the ground nearby."  "oh dear. that's the doctor who was going to help me regain my piano technique, but alas lenny's hands shrunk."

"bob, what am i going to do?  my career. everything. ruined."  "well, have you thought about taking a non pianists hands?  possibly, this surgeon laying over here?  he might have some good dexterity.  (checks his license for organ donation).  "but, bob, will it affect how i look?  i mean will people notice?  "notice?  notice.  of course, they will notice, but which would you rather have?  no hands, or big hands?" "well, i've always wanted to be able to reach those 13ths.  and have always struggled to play them.  ok.  sounds like an idea."  (calls the relatives to make sure the procedure is ok, and the hospital to set up trauma team)

after 7 hours of surgery - and in immense pain but doing well - madge looks at her bandaged hands.  they are like flippers compared to the hands she had before.  they are immense.  sher tries to wiggle each finger.  nothing.  not today.  maybe tommorrow.  she hears a radio playing in the background at the hospital.  could that be lenny's voice on the radio station l.e.n.y.?  in between rap songs.  how could they let him spoil her moment of relaxation?  to be continued...   

[klavierkonzerte]

pianonut there's somthing i don't get !  how does madge know bob? 

and what i meant is that bob apeared at the radio station because he's so angry that the manager is giving his slot to somone else.   

[klavierkonzerte]

ok back to the story.

the the asylum escapees took over the radio station and announced on the radio that they demand a rocket take a trip to mars and pass by the moon on there way there or they will kill the innocent 8 years old with the shriveled hands and eat him

when lennys mom heared this she was so freaked out that her adrinalined pumped like crazy it even got out her ears, nose and eyes, there was so much adrenaline that she got huge power and transformed to superwomen
her husband could not belive what he was seeing and his eyes poped out and there cat ate them, now he must look for an eye doner

then superwomen flew out of the balcony and...........

[Nightscape]

Superwoman flew out of the balcony, only to be assaulted by Juan, the legendary spanish golden griffin.  Fortunately, Superwoman is well versed in Spanish and was able to calm the crazed bird down.  Suddenly, Superwoman had a revelation - she remembered that one of the tasks given to her by her late grandmother was to locate the lost family heirloom, the Great Green Wiglet of Mars.  Surely with this valuable Wiglet, Superwoman could convince any aliens to leave the planet alone.  Juan then agrees to take Superwoman on an adventure to locate this precious Wiglet. But then Superwoman suddenly remembers the demands of the asylum escapees.  She tells Juan to fly her to.... 

[pianonut]

what's a golden griffen?

[Dazzer]

... the local MacDonald's, where she ordered a Cheeseburger Meal^tm, minus pickles, and upsized. Not forgetting Juan, she also got the golden griffin a Happy Meal^tm, together with the Kids Toy of the day, a figurine of Ronald MacDonald.
However, before they could satiate their hunger, the HamBurgler^tm barged into the store, and ran off with their meals, and with a puff of smoke , disappeared, as they looked on in disbelief.

"Well, at least he forgot the toy", commented Superwoman, as she wiggled the toy in front of Juan.

Meanwhile...

[Kassaa]

an other guy who always wanted to be Superwoman tried to fly. He jumped off a 60 metre high building and waves his arms. He falls down. The ground is coming closer and closer. People are laughing and pointing at the falling guy, when suddenly...

[Dazzer]

...Little Lenny came walking out of the tall building, only to be greeted by a crowd of bystanders, bysitters, bywalkers, byjumpers, bycyclers, bys*xuals, and people named Byron. Suddenly realising that everyone's focus was pointed at him, little Lenny suddenly froze in fright. Time slowed to a crawl, at least to poor Lenny, as his entire 8 years of his life flashed before his eyes... what he ate for breakfast, what he ate for breakfast yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, and the day before (and remembered that he skipped breakfast that day, for his alarm clock failed to ring, partly due to his inability to set his alarm clock properly; a result of his shriveled hands... shriveled like shriveled tomatoes from yesteryear... That is ... tomatoes that were already shriveled last year. Not fresh tomatoes from yesteryear that are now shriveled... there's a difference you know... now you understand how shriveled his hands are... amazing though. Oh and he was late for school. But his teacher wouldn't except "But my hands are shriveled tomatoes" as a valid excuse for being late that day, and was set a detention, where he spent the entire afternoon writing "Shriveled Tomatoes are our friends"), and the day before, and the day before, and the day ...

... before he was suddenly propelled 80 feet underground through concrete and hardened earth by a body falling from the sky.

(but he did not die) ... neither did the person who jumped from the building.

[Kassaa]

Lenny and John (the falling guy) were both in the hospital. They were almost dead, but luckily Lenny's head was hard and soft at the same time, so John didn't hurt hisself, and Lenny didn't either.

Suddenly a evil looking nurse came in. She looked very obsessed with Lenny and John. She kept repeating the same sentence: MUST..STEAL...TALKING...AND...FLYING...SKILLS...MUST...KILL...PATIENTS...

Lenny and John looked at eachother, both white as sheets, when suddenly...

[Dazzer]

thalberg swoops in, and with a snap of his fingers, removes the nurse from existence. Of course, that doesn't count as killing the nurse. And so life went on, and there was fun laughter peace and joy for all.

[pianonut]

why is it when women start a peaceful story, it gets more and more violent.  i only cut off lenny's hands because he cut mine off.  i told you that men think they control death.  i mean - not even in stories do women get so carried away with cutting people, running over people, falling fromt he sky. 

you see, women think a good story is a romance or a mystery.  lenny would have been treated well and not disciplined by his teacher, but he was assuming the worst of a woman teacher.  HAVE you ever seen a woman piano teacher ever hit a child?  no.  not even catholic woman piano teachers.  they might use a stern look or something - but that would be no cause for cutting their hands off.

and why was the nurse removed from existence.  just because she repeated a sentence?  she probably wasn't going to kill them.  she was just repeating the words of lenny and john, trying to make heads or tails of the situation.  have you ever met a nurse who was mean?  ok.  maybe one or two.  but, on the whole, women nurses are a step up from the general population of women - because they do care.

 

[Kassaa]

why is it when women start a peaceful story, it gets more and more violent. i only cut off lenny's hands because he cut mine off. i told you that men think they control death. it is about time for a woman president (i say this half-seriously). i mean - not even in stories do women get so carried away with cutting people, running over people, falling fromt he sky.

you see, women think a good story is a romance or a mystery. lenny would have been treated well and not disciplined by his teacher, but he was assuming the worst of a woman teacher. HAVE you ever seen a woman piano teacher ever hit a child? no. not even catholic woman piano teachers. they might use a stern look or something - but that would be no cause for cutting their hands off.

and why was the nurse removed from existence. just because she repeated a sentence? she probably wasn't going to kill them. she was just repeating the words of lenny and john, trying to make heads or tails of the situation. have you ever met a nurse who was mean? ok. maybe one or two. but, on the whole, women nurses are a step up from the general population of women - because they do care.

this is as rediculous as women wanting to live on an all women planet (to avoid body odors). it is known fact that men stink. yet, do we all get together and plot their extinction? no. in fact, we talk really nice about them and put the good looking ones in novels and compliment the ones we see on the street by saying 'hello' back.

Yeah what has that to do with the story?

Can someone open a new topic?

Can someone go on from my last post?

[klavierkonzerte]

guys you ruined the story

dazzer  lenny is a hostage in the radia station how did he get outof the tall building

and why did they go to mcdonald, lennys mom want's to save her child

and juan doesn't at all fit the story

i was REALLY REALLY REALLY enjoying the story 

[klavierkonzerte]

but dazzer the hamburgler  is AMAZING 

[i_m_robot]

Lenny and John (the falling guy) were both in the hospital. They were almost dead, but luckily Lenny's head was hard and soft at the same time, so John didn't hurt hisself, and Lenny didn't either.

Suddenly a evil looking nurse came in. She looked very obsessed with Lenny and John. She kept repeating the same sentence: MUST..STEAL...TALKING...AND...FLYING...SKILLS...MUST...KILL...PATIENTS...

Lenny and John looked at eachother, both white as sheets, when suddenly...

lenny woke up

he was at his aunts house

it was old and made of mostly wood

it could easily be mistaken for a cabin

he could hear the sizzling of the stove downstairs

to his left there is a bird standing in his window seal

it is large, mostly black, with a few  shining blue feathers on it back

he and the bird share a moment

both gaze into each others eyes

"this is no ordinary bird he thinks to himself"

the bird suddenly flies in and land at the end of his bed

it cocks its head to the side as if sizing him up

"wonder what it wants"

the bird then lets out an ungodly screech

it begins to flap its wings

lenny becomes scared and hops out of bed

he begins to move around the room, carefully sidling the walls

the bird follows him with its head

it turns slowly, erily

he stumbles over a chest on the floor

the bird hops off of the bed with wings raised still screeching

on to the floor in front of lenny

he has no where to go

what can he do

"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee"

he lets a scream

the bird walk slowly closer wings spread screeching

"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee"

screeching,

screeching,

screeching,

suddenly his aunt appears in the doorway

whats going on in hear

lenny studdards and points

"the b-b-b....."

it was gone

[Dazzer]

as if i was the only one destroying the story...

great all my fault again.

for the record, i took the nurse out because someone kept trying to kill people.

[i_m_robot]

as if i was the only one destroying the story...

great all my fault again.

for the record, i took the nurse out because someone kept trying to kill people.

ignored

someone please continue

[Kassaa]

Through the window? Through the door? Or had his aunt the ability to change to a bird? Questions raised in Lenny's head.

He had a headache, so he went to bed early that night. He took an aspirine and went to bed. That night, Lenny had strange dreams. Dreams about dark rooms with two door. Lenny got that dream more and more, each time coming closer to the doors, but never opening it.

Lenny had the feeling that he had seen the room before, was it at the... ....... ?

(fill in and go on)

[i_m_robot]

morgue where the nurse in his dream lay

or perhaps the operating room

as he moved closer he could hear the faint cries of a baby

it grew louder with each step

he finally reached the doors but hesitated to pass through

take a deep breath, he opened the door

it side lay...

[Siberian Husky]

this door actually led to a 7-11..so he decided to scrumage the change he had and buy himself a slurpee slushie drink..the total came out to 1.47...he only had 1.20...he said he'd be right back to get more change..on his way out the door..a gang of 5 thugs in masks came barging in..in hopes to rob the 7-11 convenient store...could this be the moment in which Lenny found out he had super human powers that could turn gangster thugs into San Francisco fairy parading homosexuals?...couuld his bethe moment in which his purpose arose from deep inside of him..stay tuned pregnant dogs

[pianonut]

since this is lenny's dream, the thugsters with masks ended up being clones of heidi klum, therefore he didn't need to do anything macho.  well, he tried to hide the fact that he was poor by putting his hands over his inside-out pocket and slightly tugged up (or down - depending on the dream) on his low risers.

the cashier at the 7-ll, entranced by the belly button rings, did everything the heidi klum's asked.  all the money was even neatly bundled in 50 pack increments.  lenny watched eagerly from outside the store, only to be disappointed that they didn't drop a bundle when leaving.  lenny, glumly went back into the store and asked if he could pawn a spike heel (left outside the sportscar door, as it shut quickly).

[mikeyg]

Meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away, where there exists only one man (mikeyg) and one type of woman (beautiful), there was an absolute hard banging orgy-toga party going on paradise.

[mikeyg]

Also, mikeyg casts a spell which causes everyone in all other universes to die as soon as reply # 100 is posted.