What's the song?
Like celticqt mentioned, you need to figure out the time signature of the song/passage before you figure out the tempo, unless it's completely rubato and free form.
Figuring out time signatures can be tricky depending on how they're played. I've gotten pretty good at it, but I listen to and play tons of stuff in odd times, so counting out shifting time sigs has gotten a little easier. Basically it's a matter of listening to everything that's going on. In the case of a band of some type, listen to what the bassist is doing, listen to what the drummer's doing, etc. listen for repeating phrases or groupings in the music. Try to count a pulse over the course of a complete phrase. If you lock into something, keep listening to see if it repeats, etc.
Good luck!
Dave