Fast and Slow

[alzado]

I just listened to a recording of some Erik Satie piano pieces in the past hour.

The Gymnopedies are -- in my judgment -- being played much too slow.

Other selections are being played much faster than they should be.

Is there some sort of "World Court," such as under the United Nations, that could censure this sort of thing?

Is there some sort of "divine punishment" that might be expected for such imperfection?  You know --  lightning bolts from Olympus or something?  Preferably, smiting the bass string of the pianist's low C  [i.e., "key #1].

Another example -- the original score of Pachelbel's "Canon in D" is written for three violins and two string bass.  When played in accord with the original score, it progresses at a kind of "adagio" pace.  In plain talk, it is played very slowly and in a stately manner.  Listen to it yourself as played by the original ensemble of instruments.  ALAS . . . .

Pianists tend to rip through it "allegro."  Ditto for other performers such as flautists.

Shouldn't there be some sort of punishment for these rogues?  Such as tearing a couple of pasted gold stars out of their childhood music books?