The opposite sex

[zheer]

What do you find the least attractive about the opposite sex. For example i find women that never shave their legs very un attractive.

[thalbergmad]

Nothing worse than a forest in the armpits.

[Siberian Husky]

and a forest at the fork of the road...eww

[ted]

This seemingly simple question is actually very complicated because each time I think of a possibly unattractive property I recall somebody I fancied who possessed that characteristic.

The only curious thing I can think of is that every woman I have ever fancied has been dark, either dark skinned, or with black hair or both. I have truthfully never fancied a blonde. But this doesn't really imply that I am repulsed by fair women - that would be altogether too strong a statement.

[xvimbi]

Continuing Ted's thought... every woman we fancy, who happens to have an "unattractive property", has at the same time a bunch of "attractive properties". It's the sum that counts. When I was young, I thought a single "unattractive property" could be a deal breaker. Now, I can say that this is clearly not the case!

To me, the most unattractive property in a woman is when she associates with stupid males.

[6ft 4]

I bet u cant think of an overweight woman whom u fancied.

[ted]

Oh yes, quite easily. At least three such come to mind immediately who attracted me very strongly.

[stevie]

well, one thing i have come to learn, is that females are just as 'nasty' as males

males are easier to understand, things are simpler and more physical, when a female wants to be nasty, its scary, in a totally different way.

randomly

[randmc]

                                                   PMS

[rc]

To me, the most unattractive property in a woman is when she associates with stupid males.

Hmmmm... I never seem to meet any girls who prefer that kind of company.

 

[rimv2]

Hmmmm... I never seem to meet any girls who prefer that kind of company.

 

So what planet do you live on again

[zheer]

Haw about long nails and bad breath. Its actually not very clear why we find someone attractive, and who we find attractive changes a lot of the time, for example i never liked blond, but i do now. At the moment Helen Grimud is truly yummy.

[jas]

Bad teeth. Bleargh.
And arrogance.
But I find a nice smile and brains can right a lot of wrongs.

males are easier to understand, things are simpler and more physical, when a female wants to be nasty, its scary, in a totally different way.

That's stereotyping. I know a lot of men who are bitchier than I'd ever know how to be.

Jas

[trunks]

Everything.
Nothing feminine attracts me.

[pianistimo]

did you have an overly domineering mother - or just don't like girls for no particular reason?

since i'm married - i don't go around thinking that much about the opposite sex anymore. excepting the occasional nice looking man - and then i think 'oh, he's nice looking.'  like the dentist my son just had.  actually he was balding slightly - so my hsuband's full head of hair is really a strong point.  i like to feel his hair.  somehow, looks are in a category and i don't really connect them with quality.  it's a nice feature, but not necessary. 

i find minds much more attractive.  and, i guess bicyclists who have really strong calf muscles.  my husband, for instance, after a summer of cycling has really hard legs and back.  i like to feel them. 

most unattractive feature?  probably a man who can't make up his mind.  i like someone who is sort of challenging - and knows what he wants.  and, even if he's wrong about a few things - sticks by his decisions.

[trunks]

did you have an overly domineering mother - or just don't like girls for no particular reason?

Nah, both my parents love me very much, nothing domineering.
Just that I have not been attracted to the other sex since age 7 or 8. Before that age I liked both boys and girls.  After ~ age 8, however, I never had any feelings towards girls other than friendship. I simply don't find them physically attractive at all.

Any and all feminine appearances, costumes, make-ups, gestures . . . turn me off at sight. These include (but not limit to):

1. long hair
2. nail polish
3. panty hose
4. high heel foot wear
5. big breasts
6. curved body
7. sticking out of the little and/or fourth fingers (eg, while holding a glass of water, playing the piano . . . )

No, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that these are bad things. Just that they are sexually repulsive to me - no matter on males or females that they might appear. Which means that guys on high heels, wearing panty hose, have polished nails . . . are equally repulsive to me.

[pianistimo]

i think i understand.  perhaps it is things that seem 'unnatural.'  i mean if a woman is born with naturally big breasts - she can't really help it.  and, you don't eliminate friends over this do you?  although i could understand if you were intimidated by them.  like they were following you around and going to attack you.

[trunks]

i think i understand.  perhaps it is things that seem 'unnatural.'  i mean if a woman is born with naturally big breasts - she can't really help it.  and, you don't eliminate friends over this do you?  although i could understand if you were intimidated by them.  like they were following you around and going to attack you.

No, it's perfectly fine for me to make friends, even very close friends, with ladies with or without big breasts, curved bodies . . . and I do indeed treasure such friendship.

Only erotically, it's always a no no, especially those artificially feminine things - nail polish, high heels, men with long hair . . . ugh 

[le_poete_mourant]

Attractiveness for me depends on how attractive a woman's personality is.  Often I find I would not consider dating even the most lush, curvy, beautiful women because they are loose, nasty, spiteful, or just plain dumb.  I date "nice girls": someone I can have an intelligent, meaningful conversation with, spend time with, be comfortable around.  Then they are more beautiful.  The sexual aspect is a result of the spiritual aspect.

However, there are parts of a woman's body that can be attractive independently of her overall effect. 

 

you don't eliminate friends over this do you?

Nobody is saying you have to find friends attractive, are they?  I am friends with some people who I find, to a degree, pretty damn ugly. 

[arbisley]

One thing I don't understand is the desire for artificial element sof beauty in women when there are so many natural  ones, as for nail polish, high heels, too much make up (some doesn't matter).
On the other hand, in the end the appearance of a person doesn't necessarily intimidate me, it's the character of the person I remember most. There is this girl who wants to go out with me at the moment for instance who I had never thought of as a girlfriend before because she isn't the type of curvy girl I would think about going out with. On the other hand, I really enjoy her company a whole lot, and have started to single out single characteristics in her which makes her beautiful and are part of her character, such as the lovely brown eyes. The rest of what I perceive of her now is made up of what I think of her, not what I see. In a sense, that's what I tend to do with everyone once I know them well, I make a mental image of them. Such as my mother for instance, who I will always think looks beautiful, even if others might not think so.

All this might sound harsh and terribly disconnected but that is just the way my subconscious works. For a long time I will believe an externally beautiful person to be virtuous, until I find out what type of people she hangs around with, and I can't help thinking how thick and stupid she must be (in most cases sadly, this happens).

Oh well, apart from that, I find shyness quite attractive sometimes, maybe because I'm shy myself, in a certain way more than others. It's all about the fantasies and imagination the human brain has. And for me, that alwyas goes together with music. In moments of passion I associate a person with a whirlwind of beautiful music, and that is when I most want to be close to them and say what I think.

Enough of me for today. I can't say "sexual" because I'm too young, or inexperienced, if you think age isn't an obstacle.... well, maybe bad skin would be a bit awful...

[ted]

I think I like exactly the same mental characteristics in women as I do in men; for me there is no difference. These would be reason, kindness, inner peace and a complete lack of strategy and game-playing.

[elspeth]

The single worst characteristic someone can have around me is excessive clinginess. I tend to go a bit strange (more so than normal!) if I don't get some privacy, and the independence to indulge my own interests on my own if I want to. I can't abide doing something I adore in the company of someone who doesn't share that interest - it ruins my enjoyment and makes them spend time doing something they don't want to. Which inevitably leads to conflict... And it cuts both ways, of course. I would be put off a man who had no interests outside mine. I think you can have too much in common with people.

Besides that... I'm looking for a good, kind, gentle, intelligent, financially stable man who shaves and doesn't smoke. Anybody know any?

[ahinton]

I'm looking for a good, kind, gentle, intelligent, financially stable man who shaves and doesn't smoke. Anybody know any?

Well, then, my advice to you is to give composers a wide berth, because the best of these that you might find may only be a good, kind, gentle and intelligent clean-shaven non-smoker...

Best,

Alistair

[tds]

I'm looking for a good, kind, gentle, intelligent, financially stable man who shaves and doesn't smoke. Anybody know any?

me me me!

so, what do you want girl?!

tho am not sure if i am kind and gentle. watchout!

[ada]

Everything.
Nothing feminine attracts me.

ok, so what attracts you in a man?

For me, the biggest turn off in a man is political conservatism, materialism, metrosexualism and American accents.

Turn on: French accents, Scottish accents  intelligence, moral integrity and artistic temperaments. I like someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously and who isn't perfect.

Like elspeth, I can't stand helicopters (hoverers) or limpets (clingy types).

[arbisley]

ok, so what attracts you in a man?

For me, the biggest turn off in a man is political conservatism, materialism, metrosexualism and American accents.

Turn on: French accents, Scottish accents  intelligence, moral integrity and artistic temperaments. I like someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously and who isn't perfect.

Like elspeth, I can't stand helicopters (hoverers) or limpets (clingy types).

Wow sounds like me!
I can put on a French accent if you like, and I´m never satisfied with myself.
This is going to turn into a dating topic.... oh and the verya rtistic temperament, calm one moment, nuts the next...

[ahinton]

For me, the biggest turn off in a man is political conservatism, materialism, metrosexualism and American accents.

I suppose that one man's (or woman's) idea of political conservatism will likely be different from the that of the next, particularly given the potential - and often also real - differences between small-c conservatism and big-C Conservatism and even sometimes between different manifestations of the latter, for an example of which one has to look no farther than the UK "Conservative Party" at any given time since WWII and the "Conservative Party" in South Africa. Small-c political conservatism is surely by definition largely a thing of the past in our rapidly changing world, since it identifies itself at least in part as a concept in which resitance to any kind of change features quite highly. Not everyone has the same view of the position of any particular individual "Conservative" on the political spectrum, either; Sorabji, for example, once described Margaret Thatcher as a "pink socialist"...

Materialism has become such a pejorative term for some people that one might almost be forgiven for assuming that it has all but lost any other credible connotation; for me, materialism of sorts is OK up to a point, provided that it is kept firmly in its proper place at all times and that its importance in the overall scheme of things in life is never inflated - rather like the computer, which is an undeniably useful tool but which some people allow to take over a disproportionate amount of their lives. I have no problem in principel with the business of acquiring and maintaining reasonable degrees of financial wealth per se, but when an acquisitive attitude towards wealth and its visible trappings begins to get out of proportion and interfere with anyone's healthy attitude to life in general it becomes counter-productive, dangerous and potentially disgusting. It is also a mistaken assumption on the part of some people, however that those possessed of immense wealth are invariably interested only in one-way traffic - i.e. towards themselves. I was once introduced to a person (who is no longer alive) whose personal fortune was publicly estimated (rightly or wrongly I neither know nor care) as more than one-seventh of that of Mr William Gates; he lived relatively modestly and, over a considerable period of time, devoted substantial amounts of his wealth to philanthropic activity without advertising that fact.

"Metrosexualism" - rather like the even more bizarrely contrived mixed-language term "übersexualism" - is such a revolting concept that I'm not surprised that you find anyone espousing it a turn-off. One of the reasons for its unedifying nature is perhaps that it is in itself one of the many-too-many inventions of the sociopsychological fraternity that has been picked up and run with by the marketing and PR fraternity, each of which groups seem heavily populated by people who love little better than to pat themselves smugly on the backs for their perceived cleverness in "classifying" people and putting them conveniently in neatly labelled pigeon-holes. The usually less than reliable and often rather tiresome Wikipedia has an entry which is at least a serviceable definition at
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metrosexual

Your take on American accents - assuming (until and unless corrected) that you mean the accents of ALL English-speaking Americans when speaking (or attempting to speak) English (or what they believe is English) - may seem like abit of a shame (in principle, at least) for those many millions of American males who come into that category but, in the end, it's just a matter of personal taste, of course - and there's no arguing with that!.

Turn on: French accents, Scottish accents  intelligence, moral integrity and artistic temperaments. I like someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously and who isn't perfect.

French accents - eh, bien sur! - although, again, do you mean ALL French accents? - Parisian, Marseillais, Bordelais? What about those of French-speaking West African and Mauritian people? And - dare I even mention it(?!) - what about les Québecois?...

Scottish accents? Ah, I had one of those once, before I emigrated to what some French superciliously call "nord Normande" (i.e. England); I do wish I could remember precisely where I accidentally left it. Actually, in all seriousness, I probably lost it more rapidly than otherwise I might have done because what I had acquired by the end of my time living in my native country was an accent that some Scots might have called "hybridised Hibernian" and that one Englishman once actually did call "hotch-potch Scotch", by reason of my having lived in various parts of Scotland where the accents differ quite widely from place to place. Your mention of it après reference to French accents reminds me of a curious experience I once had when in Paris 18 years ago for a performance of one of Sorabji's piano works (by an Australian pianist, as it happens); it was a Sunday and the performance was scheduled to commence at 4.00 p.m., so I strolled into a restaurant and ordered lunch in my really terrible faltering French, whereupon the waiter rushed across to the Maître d' and said "il est écossais, écossais!" and I received service, in very good English, which was beyond exemplary in efficiency and politeness throughout. Now I know that, in general terms, the French have more affection for the Scots than they do for the English, but quite how this waiter, who had never previously met me, picked up on an accent that I once possessed but had long since lost I have less than no idea.

Intelligence, moral integrity and artistic temperaments are all virtues well worth having.

One can be of very serious disposition without necessarily taking oneself too seriously.

No one is perfect!

Like elspeth, I can't stand helicopters (hoverers) or limpets (clingy types).

Do you (and/or "elspeth") have other such colloquial classification terms for males? (just curious); maybe you (singular or plural) should consider publishing a list here!

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

Wow sounds like me!
I can put on a French accent if you like,

I do not wish to presume to speak for "ada", but I think you may find that she means genuine, not put-on, French accents...

Best,

Alistair

[arbisley]

it´s nearly the same when you've lived in france for seven years
and anyway, even then I have a peculiar austrian, new zealand, sort of french accent!

[ahinton]

it´s nearly the same when you've lived in france for seven years
and anyway, even then I have a peculiar austrian, new zealand, sort of french accent!

Well, once again, I do not presume to speak for "ada" but, since she is Australian, she may regard "austrian" merely as something with "al" missing - and I shudder to imagine what she would think of a "New Zealand" sort of French accent but take leave to doubt that it would be especially polite!

Incidentally, most New Zealanders would probably pronounce this thread topic "The opposite six", which would be around four more "sixes" than most of us would ricognise...

Best,

Alistère

[prometheus]

There are many American accents. Some I like, others really annoy me a lot.

But in general I prefer a British accent. I can't stand the american 'cent' amd 'dence'.

[arbisley]

well, it's not actually that type of new zealand accent. It's more of a british new zealand accent, since even people of my family who live in new zealand don't have "kiwi" accents.

someone told me it sounded south african once.... or dutch...

[trunks]

ok, so what attracts you in a man?

For me, the biggest turn off in a man is political conservatism, materialism, metrosexualism and American accents.

Turn on: French accents, Scottish accents  intelligence, moral integrity and artistic temperaments. I like someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously and who isn't perfect.

Like elspeth, I can't stand helicopters (hoverers) or limpets (clingy types).

Turn-ONs:

1. clean shaven face, smooth body, yet masculine
2. boyishness, "twinkishness"
3. magnetic voice
4. specific names - like Kevin, Benjamin, Raymond, Calvin, Ricky . . .
5. bare feet or wearing flip-flops or sandals (sockless)
6. see-through clothes
7. a smile!

Turn-OFFs:

0. Donald Trump and the like !!
1. beard, whisker, moustache, hairiness, long hair
2. sissiness
3. nail polish of any colour
4. any feminine costumes, make-ups and ornaments
5. even feminine names - I came across 4 young lads some 10 years ago calling themselves "sisters" and having girls' names: Laura, Teresa, Diana and the other I forgot. UGH !! I mean, I don't mind if girls use these names, that's totally fine for me. But chaps using gals names . . . YUCK !

Males using body and facial skin care products, however, is fine for me. Even I sometimes use them myself. As a side-business I am a beautician. I offer facial and skin care for guys and gals alike. If I can't feel comfortable with that I can't perform it on people at all, even if for the money.

[donjuan]

post deleted

[ada]

 What about those of French-speaking West African and Mauritian people?

double plus especially 

Oh yeah and Dutch, Dutch accents kill me.

Unfortunately kiwi accents are up there with the Americans; fush and chups.

[ahinton]

Unfortunately kiwi accents are up there with the Americans; fush and chups.

Trust you to come up with that one! It's so true, too! One wonders if they all eat fush and chups before having six. A Sydneysider friend always refers to that funny country out to the extreme south east as "N'Zilind" because she can't undertand the way that they speak and it always sounds like "N'Zilind" when they refer to their homeland. Ah, well. Some people can't stand Canadian accents either. All a matter of taste, as I said earlier...

Best,

Alistair

[trunks]

you're a funny guy, peter.  I knew something must be up with you when you said you can't stand women's curvy figure.

<snipped>

uh oh.. maybe I'm just looking for a woman that acts like a man but looks like a woman..

Uh oh, but maybe I'm just not looking for a woman that acts like anybody but looks like anybody  

[Kassaa]

double plus especially 

Oh yeah and Dutch, Dutch accents kill me.

Unfortunately kiwi accents are up there with the Americans; fush and chups.

  Hahahahahahahha

I got lower marks for a presentation in English class because I had a bit of a Dutch accent

[pianistimo]

that was funny 

[elspeth]

Do you (and/or "elspeth") have other such colloquial classification terms for males?

Why am I in quotation marks? Besides the fact that Elspeth is an alias, although I've admitted to my real name elsewhere on the forum... Can't help with the colloquialisms though - I'm Yorkshire born and bred, we don't really go in for euphamisms.

I definitely agree about Scottish accents being good... I deal a lot with an office in Glasgow, and as I'm the only one in my office who can understand them I spend a lot of time on the phone to various assorted Scotsmen... Oddly enough I make sure I go there for alleged business trips as often as possible!

[ahinton]

Why am I in quotation marks? Besides the fact that Elspeth is an alias,

That, let me hasten to assure you, IS the only reason, just as I likewise refer to "ada", as these are your respective forum IDs rather than your real names. I hope I've caused no offence, for none is or was intended.

Best,

the long since sadly accentually-challenged

Alistair

[ahinton]

Why am I in quotation marks? Besides the fact that Elspeth is an alias

OK, so now that I've seen your observation in the thread about usernames, I note that your real name is Elizabeth as in British monarch and that, technically, "elspeth" is less of a forum ID than an alternative spelling of your real name! Dear me! I'll get it right in the end...

Best,

Alistair

[elspeth]

I'll get it right in the end...

Try again, I'm afraid, I said on that thread that Elizabeth is my grandad's nickname for me...

[elspeth]

I hope I've caused no offence, for none is or was intended.

Not in the least, I was just curious, wondering if there was some other grammatical reference I hadn't understood...

[johnny-boy]

I find "Space Cadets" very unattractive. Probably this term isn't known by everyone. It's a female with an "air" head. Probably everyone doesn't know what an "airhead" is.

Did I really say that?

Best, John

[ted]

I am a third generation New Zealander but, somehow or other, I have always been mistaken for an Englishman who has been in the army. English people living here always ask me when I emigrated. Exactly why this is the case I have no idea as I have never consciously imitated an English accent, I have never been to England and I have never been in any sort of army. Yet this has happened very many times over the years. People will ask when I studied at Oxford and which regiment I was in. The whole thing is a mystery to me.

[ahinton]

I am a third generation New Zealander

I'm sure that "ada" will find it her heart to forgive you for this...

but, somehow or other, I have always been mistaken for an Englishman who has been in the army.

Given that what you go on to tell us demonstrates that there is not a shred of truth in either assumption, I'm sure that "ada" will do the same again!

English people living here always ask me when I emigrated. Exactly why this is the case I have no idea as I have never consciously imitated an English accent, I have never been to England and I have never been in any sort of army. Yet this has happened very many times over the years. People will ask when I studied at Oxford and which regiment I was in. The whole thing is a mystery to me.

This seems to be a larger-scale equivalent of the experience that I had in Paris all those years ago - and equally puzzling, at that. Interesting! But now back to "The opposite sex", I suppose...

Best,

Alistair