Male Pianists

[wannasteinway]

I am 15 its my third year playing piano,i have excelled fantastically, i go to a master pianist teacher, and i play like i've been playing for ten years. 
Thats just a little about me.
And i dont mean to offend anybody in anyway.

Anyway, my question is about male pianist being taunted about being gay. Like i said im 15 and i have got into alot of crap with people calling me gay,even my brother. They say why dont you play drums or guitar.(obviously piano is the greatest instrument)
Why do people think its a feminine thing or gay.
I say all the great composers where men(no offense women) of my knowledge where men and they whernt gay,exception of a couple maybe.
But whats the deal.
Please help me, and tell me why people think this.

[casparma]

Well,

I think what you actually got responded about piano is, when some one said: "That's gay!"...

Like Shakespeare, I think, if you tell those people who said piano is gay that you think Shakespearian language is terrific, great, or etc, they would very likely say something: "That sucks", "That's gay", etc etc...

Well, why dont you just ignore those narrow-minded, stupid, and insolent people?

btw, those people are in the minority, piano is very popular, and many people apreciate in different levels...

[donjuan]

Gay??

Tell these people about Liszt and how he travelled and performed, and slept with most of europe's female aristocracy. 

Gay, my ass!!

those people think piano is gay because it isnt like football or hunting.  This is an art.  Let them go and think whatever they want.  It is probably not their fault anyway - its their parents, and their parents before them.  Ignorance is heriditary unfortunately.  It is truly admirable when someone breaks free from the mold.  For example, if a redneck somehow discovers that he really does not have to shoot the moose to have fun.   

[pianistimo]

exploring feelings to farther reaches doesn't make one gay.  i suppose some might be, but whose business is it anyway?  only God's.  and, if He gave the adulterous woman a chance, i'm sure He has the power to work with people who have other sexual addictions.  sin is sin, no matter what form it comes in - so everyone has it.  it kind of levels the field and makes everyone responsible for their own selves.

and, it doesn't affect one's ability to be a master performer or teacher, imo.  in all truth, many performers are probably without time for relationships and probably are closer to aescetics.  am i right?  just thinking that many seem to have an ok attitude about being alone, traveling alone sometimes, and they're not bothered by their own company.

i wouldn't let people's comments bother you.  i'd just laugh (and work out at the gym every so often).

[zheer]

It will depend on what and haw you play, i gess you could sound like a gay man or a great man.If you play RACH2 very well with an ochestra no one will make fun of you.

[g_s_223]

They're just jealous, pianists are well-known to be attractive to women, their strong but sensitive hands stroking the etc... 

[prometheus]

I had to reread the post several times to understand it.  I can't really comment on this. I don't understand the reason for the comments. Since you are 15, I assume the others also are 15.

So my advice, only assosiate with people that have a degree of maturity. Even if they are 15.

This brings back bad childhood memories... No, I didn't have many friends because I couldn't bear any.

[thierry13]

I think I'm pretty lucky. People don't think I'm gay. Mostly everyone at school know me as "the" pianist, and everyone is like amazed by me. Nobody think it's wrong to play piano. Girls are charmed, and guys think piano is cool because they can't see my finger, I play powerfull pieces, and it charms girls 

[wannasteinway]

I really appreciate your guyses help, i  know i charms the girls,even though i could care lessif it did.people just cant mind their business, and im tired of arguing with them,i just wanted some help on what you all thought.

Thanx

[Tash]

tell them that at least you're not the one jumping on top of other guys on a football field groping each others privates and whatever else, and i, as a female, would be more likely to be wooed by a handsome pianist than a hot drummer because it's more impressive hahaha.
and as for an age thing, all 15 year olds are idiots (no offence but it's true, i was an idiot at 15) and will grow out of it eventually

[donjuan]

I really appreciate your guyses help, i  know i charms the girls,even though i could care lessif it did.people just cant mind their business, and im tired of arguing with them,i just wanted some help on what you all thought.

Thanx

You dont have to argue with them really.  Dont consort with them.  I, like most musicians, surrendered my social life many years ago.  Well, what I mean is, I make few friends, but the ones I do make are very special to me.     

So respond to their stupid comments with your own stupid comments, or better yet, with no response whatsoever.  You quiet down, they quiet down.  After highschool, you wont ever see these people again.  You would have moved on to bigger, better things while they all get jobs at gas stations etc..  You might even just want to lie and tell them you are gay just so they will leave you alone!  (I know people who have done that and dont regret it)

[rc]

hah hah, Tash is right, there is no such thing as a mature 15 yr. old. I got a kick out of when my parents would tell me "act your age!", I don't think they knew what they were asking for . It's funny that nothing has changed, "you're gay" was the universal insult when I was that age too, there wasn't a day where I didn't hear the word 'gay' 15 times.

How can someone that age be mature? There are some who act mature. But really, you just gotta expect some idiocy at that age, and for the next few years people grow up. Then you'll still encounter the odd doofus throughout life. Might as well learn to deal with 'em.

It seems to me that most of the time someone is saying these things, is more to get a rise out of the other person or just make a joke than to maliciously attack them. School has the added element of everyone wanting to impress the crowd (this pretty much disappears outside school), which makes school a tough time for some.

However you respond, don't get upset, that gives people a button to press and press it they will. No reaction will work fine, it'll nullify any reason they have to bug you.

Actually, I think the best way is to have a witty comeback, so long as you're not upset and don't become a prick. 'Good natured ribbin' I've heard it called, which is a fun little game. If you can throw a joke back it shows you aren't bothered and that you have a sense of humour. Instead of having people bug you, you have people to joke with. Not taking it seriously makes you impossible to pick on.

Since everyone always uses the same insult, it's each to think up a reply beforehand because you know what they're going to say. I remember one guy had a good comeback, implying that people calling him gay was wishful thinking on their part "I'm not gay and no matter how much you say so, it won't come true. Sorry, I'm not your man". There are countless ways to say it, all funny and imply that they're the closet queer .

I've seen people react by obviously pretending to be gay, and winking or blowing kisses to the other person. Very jokingly, but it still disarms the other person and makes them uncomfortable.

Something I sometimes do is just to be dismissive. Go "sure" calmly and dismissively, and go about my business. Or give a patronizing courtesy laugh, "ok then" and walk away. Done right it says their joke wasn't very good and that you can't be bothered.

The important thing is not to take it too seriously when people say these things, and not get upset.

[Tash]

another thought, on the more less serious, less mature side (let's take my brain back 5 years to when i was 15)- get yourself a fan club of girls who hang around you continuously, and date them all simultaneously. better yet lose your virginity (to a girl) (though out of my own personal preference at 15 i wouldn't do that...)

i remember back to when we were like 13/14, and all the rage was whether you were 'frigid' or not- like if you didn't have a boyfriend and were continuously making out with him in public then you were considered frigid- thus pretty much everyone was frigid bf or not, and HELLO we were 13/14 (sweet and innocent i swear)!!

[donjuan]

Since everyone always uses the same insult, it's each to think up a reply beforehand because you know what they're going to say. I remember one guy had a good comeback, implying that people calling him gay was wishful thinking on their part "I'm not gay and no matter how much you say so, it won't come true. Sorry, I'm not your man". There are countless ways to say it, all funny and imply that they're the closet queer .

hey, Ive done that!  But when they called me gay I said "oh whats up baby, didnt you have fun last night??" in front of his buddies

haha it was great!

[lostinidlewonder]

I don't think it this problem is only for pianists. If you see a guy as a Hairdresser, Nurse, playing Netball blah blah blah etc etc etc, stupid people think stupid things. Why does everything have to be related to sex or sexual prefference or something else just as obscure.

If someone says you play piano that is so Gay, you say, well how is it gay? What part about playing the piano is Gay? It is as stupid as saying, Playing the voilin is so Heterosexual. People would be like... what the?

Some people use the term "gay" lightly and mean it only to express the dislike for something (which is totally wrong because the orginal use of the word was to express happiness). I guess be careful not to take things too literally. It is a great shame beacuse the word GAY was so beatiful but the 20th century has turned it into something to define a sexual prefference. A SHAME!

[stormcrow]

Some people use the term "gay" lightly and mean it only to express the dislike for something (which is totally wrong because the orginal use of the word was to express happiness). I guess be careful not to take things too literally. It is a great shame beacuse the word GAY was so beatiful but the 20th century has turned it into something to define a sexual prefference. A SHAME!

I hate that too! If read any older book you can see that word and it's not the same. W*# I also have an ant named Gay, not really much of a name any more is it?

[donjuan]

I hate that too! If read any older book you can see that word and it's not the same. W*# I also have an ant named Gay, not really much of a name any more is it?

Well, my dad was considering naming me "Gayland" because it seemed like a nice name (yeah, I know, see how cut off he was from the world) but I am so glad my mom clued him in.  Think about what my junior high school years could have been like!  yeeesh

[pabst]

yes yes we should all rid the world of gay people

[arensky]

You are dealing with cementheads. Keep away from them, they have no appreciation of finer things, and are ignorant and will probably stay that way. If you must assimilate, as I felt I had to at the same age, do what I did. Learn "Great Balls of Fire"  and whatever the rock ballad de jour is, for me it was "Stairway to Heaven", which is an amazing piece, and Kiss' "Beth"   . And then I would play my latest classical piece, I think I changed a few minds about classical music.  

But it's probably better not to waste your time with teenage morons. All of the other postsare valid, read them...

[palika dunno]

people who say that pianoplayers are gay, just want to be cool or something like that. they neither understand nor like classical music and are probably too shy to show feelings for music... mh...just some thoughts...might be a reason...

[stormcrow]

people who say that pianoplayers are gay, just want to be cool or something like that. they neither understand nor like classical music and are probably too shy to show feelings for music... mh...just some thoughts...might be a reason...

I think that it's partly because allot popular "music", hip hop in particular can hardly be classified as music at all, it’s so basic. Thus they cannot begin to appreciate real music.

Just my thoughts..

[wannasteinway]

Thank you all again you guys help out alot when i didnt know what to do. People wostly compare a pianist to Elton John though im not really fond of his music they make him the example for all Pianist

[stormcrow]

Well, my dad was considering naming me "Gayland" because it seemed like a nice name (yeah, I know, see how cut off he was from the world) but I am so glad my mom clued him in.  Think about what my junior high school years could have been like!  yeeesh

Owwwwwww. 

[kghayesh]

I think it is a matter of public igonrance not anything else. Just imagine it is 150 years earlier (1854). Will you considered a gay if u were a pianist ?? Hell no of course coz that was the time of Liszt, Schumman and those greats when the piano was like the top, u know, industry.

Just coz these days are metallica, slipknot days so what is expected from a musician is somehow different from before.

Me too, when i started learning the piano (about 3-4 years ago) I was still struggling with pieces like bach 2-part inventions, fur elise, kulhau sonatinas so when people heard me they thought i was acting gay coz that's not a man's music. But, today when i am playing the Revolutionary Etude or another piece like it they are amazed and so entertained.

So, it is just a matter of ignorance of the people. And, also i should mention that you shouldn't be a pathetic pianist and expect people to not call u gay 

[anekdote]

People's image on you [the male pianist] depends primarily on two factors: your physical appearance and manner, and what type of piano music you play.

Piano music can be considered cool and non-gay if it is, say, jazz or an intense classical piece (such as the Revolutionary Etude). Many exercise and beginner level pieces sound pretty gay to most guys (their idiom is too outdated for the stylistic ideals of today).

Your self-image is also very important, and can often be the overriding factor. If you are small/weak and non-masculine you might be called gay. If you're a typical looking male, people are less likely to call you gay. And if you are masculine, and/or tall, etc., you will probably not be considered gay. I hate to sound so deterministic, but people are shallow by nature, whether they realize it or not.

You must also realize that people's first impressions will be stronger than those of your friends who know you well.

[pianoperfmajor]

it is true that a lot of professional pianists in the past and currently have been, and are gay.  both piano professors at my university are gay (whom i would consider professional).  so Also, like you mentioned, more than just a few composers have been gay.  it's a strange phenomenon.  i could speculate about the reason, but im not really sure.

[chopinfan_22]

I'm tall, thin, not very strong. I play the piano. I don't have many friends. I don't play sports. I'm 17 (a junior in high school). A lot of people think I'm gay, based on physical appearance, and my curricular activities. I don't play overbearing pieces, powerful pieces (primarily because all of them are beyond my current ability). My physical appearance is something I'm currently working on. But... I guess it's just where you're placed. Some high schools contain students that are extremely narrow-minded. Others not. I've learned to deal with it, because I know there's something better.

[henrah]

BAH!

They deserve lemons in their eyes for referring to the piano as 'gay'.

Even better, avocado's! They would hurt. Or anything fruity.



Jam would be tasty.
Henrah

[gruffalo]

are they ever around when you practice like at school or anything? you need to learn some fast heavy pieces and throw it at em, see what they say. guarentee the girls will be impressed.

[cherryfive]

Why do people think its a feminine thing or gay.
I say all the great composers where men(no offense women) of my knowledge where men and they whernt gay,exception of a couple maybe.
But whats the deal.

To be quite honest I have no idea what you are talking about. This is the first I've heard of a general stereotype that "pianists" are gay. I guess this means any instrumentalist of any instrument can be gay. Unless you are playing gay music, like Carpenters for example, I would wipe that notion clean from your head. Show these naysayers a photograph of Rick Wakeman in his heyday. Once they see all the tail he attracted I'm sure they will shut right up
I was 15 only 5 years ago. I seem to remember quite lot of people takin music classes. 

[tw0k1ngs]

That's why its nice to be big and not "nerdy" looking

Nobody gives me crap about it, because, being 6'5, (not a skinny 6'5 either), my peers are intimidated by me.

Most of them actually envy my piano playing.

And the few who do comment on them, because I am known to be one of the "brains" of the school, I usually just reply with something like "I'll remember that comment when I am your boss someday."

[alwaystheangel]

They're intimidated by you ablities.  I find that the first one to throw insults are the biggest cowards and the most insecure.  The discussion of Liszt and his conquests is certainly and good one.  Ignore the bastards.

[penguinlover]

Yeah, just ignore them.  They are jealous, stupid, and don't deserve your company.  They are NOT your friends.  Just remember who you are.  You can only be responsible for you, not for them. 

Kids tend to be cruel.  Just think, only a few more years until college.  Keep your focus on your goals, not pleasing others, or worrying what they think  Obviously, they don't think!   

[ada]

You're all talking as if there's something wrong with being gay, or as if it's some sort of terrible insult for someone to suggest you're gay. I find that an exceptionally homophobic attitude.

The truth of the matter is that a lot of people in the arts do happen to be gay. So what? The world's a better place for it.

[chopinfan_22]

The world's a better place for it.

At least, artistically. I have noting against homosexuals. In fact, two of my friends just so happen to be gay... I just don't like being labelled or called something I'm not.

[prometheus]

Yes, on second though the 'best' thing is to beat up these people.

You won't hear these kind of things often from me...

[emmdoubleew]

I am 15 its my third year playing piano,i have excelled fantastically, i go to a master pianist teacher, and i play like i've been playing for ten years. 
Thats just a little about me.
And i dont mean to offend anybody in anyway.

Anyway, my question is about male pianist being taunted about being gay. Like i said im 15 and i have got into alot of crap with people calling me gay,even my brother. They say why dont you play drums or guitar.(obviously piano is the greatest instrument)
Why do people think its a feminine thing or gay.
I say all the great composers where men(no offense women) of my knowledge where men and they whernt gay,exception of a couple maybe.
But whats the deal.
Please help me, and tell me why people think this.

It seems to me they're only reacting to your pretensiousness and arrogance. If you don't fix your attitude you can expect insults, no matter how stupid and ridiculous they are.

[alwaystheangel]

get ripped.

[emmdoubleew]

get ripped.

Excuse the stereotype, but isn't that a bit gay  .
My gay friend is soooo buff.

[ce nedra]

emmdoubleew... would you please refrain from calling everyone pretentious and arrogant when they say things only ever so slightly out of your circle of liking. God you are like a dripping tap.

[bartolomeo_]

Though there are several notable gay pianists, it would be absurd think that all or even most men who play piano are gay.  Mrs. Bartolomeo would be quick to assure you that after 15 years of marriage I am showing no signs of losing interest in the female form.

In time you will find that most namecalling has little basis in fact.

When your brother or your peers say something mean to you, repeat to yourself five times: "no matter what you say or do, I am still a worthwhile person."

In time you will learn that you are not as far along now as you think you are and that you have much more to learn than you realize.  But that's not what you asked about.

[emmdoubleew]

emmdoubleew... would you please refrain from calling everyone pretentious and arrogant when they say things only ever so slightly out of your circle of liking. God you are like a dripping tap.

I seldom, almost never, use the words "arrogant" or "pretentious" anywhere but in this forum. I think this speaks more about other members than myself, for example: wannasteinway.

I am 15 its my third year playing piano,i have excelled fantastically, i go to a master pianist teacher, and i play like i've been playing for ten years. 
Thats just a little about me.
And i dont mean to offend anybody in anyway.

Offended? I'll let you figure out what he was insinuating in a scenario where there is absolutely no reason for us to be offended.

(obviously piano is the greatest instrument)

i  know i charms the girls

I'm just pointing out I don't know if I'd do everything within my ability to defend someone like that in a real-life situation.

I'm a bit thrown off as to how you'd know anything about "my circle of liking," or what lies outside of it. If you can point out how in any way my name-calling was unjustified, please do, but I beg you to restrain yourself from making any more assumptions.

[nanabush]

Some idiot said not too long ago: "Why don't you just drop your gay little piano and stick with the guitar."  I'm like, "go beg for money, take a shot of heroin, then suck a cock."  I know for a fact that he does two of those... the third I just added on... You know their f'in idiots if after you say a crappy comeback, their like ... uhh, your stupid... ur dumb... ur retarded..

[alwaystheangel]

Excuse the stereotype, but isn't that a bit gay  .
My gay friend is soooo buff.

It was a joke.  I can't think of anyone trying to insult some big massively built guy for being gay, he'd pummel them.

But that' besides the point.  Gay should not be an insult it's just another state of being.

[emmdoubleew]

Some idiot said not too long ago: "Why don't you just drop your gay little piano and stick with the guitar."  I'm like, "go beg for money, take a shot of heroin, then suck a cock."  I know for a fact that he does two of those... the third I just added on... You know their f'in idiots if after you say a crappy comeback, their like ... uhh, your stupid... ur dumb... ur retarded..

Cool, he insulted you with some ridiculous homophobic claim and you insulted him with an equally ridiculous and homophobic one. The world is officialy one ounce happier.

It was a joke.  I can't think of anyone trying to insult some big massively built guy for being gay, he'd pummel them.

But that' besides the point.  Gay should not be an insult it's just another state of being.

My answer was also meant to be lighthearted .

And I completely agree.