How to Quit lessons

[heatherberry]

Hello,

I have lurked around here before but really needed to post this. I have been taking lessons now for two years and am 31 years old.

My husband and I are having our first baby in 7 weeks and I really feel the need to quit my lessons not only for financial reasons but time constraints as well.

My teacher is so awesome and we have become close and friends as well. I really look forward to my lessons but practicing lately and especially after baby is getting and going to be  rough.

I have debated how to tell her that this is my last month but just don't know how. I have a lesson tomorrow and think this would be the perfect time as it's the end of the month, last check to her etc. but feel why go to do a lesson if I am not going back. It's just not sensible.


Soooooo, for all you teachers out there, what is the gentlelest way, nicest way, to end lessons without hurting her. I mean it's not like I don't think she'll understand, she is a mother of three, but she also has music as her career and passion. It's not like that for people like me who play for hobby,  fun, etc.  I mean, I feel like she'll jsut try to come up with innovative ways for me to practice so I can continue coming but I really just feel overwhelmed right now.

Sorry longwinded and any help is appreciated.

Heather

[pianistimo]

don't quit - just take a break.  you can decide when to go back - but that leaves the door open as to getting more lessons later.  i think teachers are people enough to understand a newborn's demands (late nights and lack of focus during day).  that's all you have to say. 

personally, i've found that i NEED lessons and music to keep my sanity with my family.  after a while, you may start needing music more than food or rest.  just keeps you thinking in the 'adult' world and also makes a profession available to you (the longer you take lessons).  teaching beginners is not that difficult - just that you have to plan ahead (especially witha  family).  since you seem to like staying at home for now - a career at home is nice!  keep playing and practicing!  don't lose it.

i used to teach on the weekends when my hubby could take the kids and i had some quiet time. 

[whynot]

Congrats on your coming blessing!  I can't believe you're still taking lessons when you're so far along.  I mean that in an admiring way, but it must be getting a little awkward...?  I hope that's not insensitive--say, if you're adopting--but I'm assuming pregnancy because you're so clear about the date.  Anyway, I am absolutely positive that your teacher is NOT going to be devastated or think less of you for quitting during late pregnancy/early babyhood.  In fact, she surely must be  expecting to have this conversation at any moment.  All you have to do is point to your tummy, smile, and say, "You know, I'd love to have one more lesson today, then after that I'm going to be busy for a while!"  I mean, no one would fail to understand that.  And have the final check prepared so you don't fuss around with it during the conversation; it will help you to feel more calm.  If she talks to you about how to keep practicing, just smile and say, "What a good idea, that's exactly what I'll do!"  When you have your wonderful baby, you can do whatever you want.  I mean, maybe you'll want to play some, but maybe you won't, and there's no reason for you to feel pressured about this.  I'm a teacher, and most of my friends are teachers, and not one of us would expect a student to keep a practice and lesson schedule at such a time.  It's not going to be a problem.  Best of luck!    

[rc]

haha, this is an easy one. You have a very good reason, it's not like you have to come up with some kind of carefully worded excuse. There is no wrong way to explain your situation.

You're on good terms with your teacher, so your last lesson may be more a "see you later" than an actual lesson, which is the cool thing to do. You can let her know you'll have to stop lessons, perhaps to be back later on, the reason speaks for itself, and you can just talk for a while, keep in touch if you choose. You don't even need to bring your music if you don't want to.

Congratulations

[simonjackson]

Just perhaps, your teacher (a mum of 3) is thinking "When shall I broach the subject with you?"
She is probably amazed you are still sat there...
All the best,
Sam.

[ada]

Hello there

First of all, can I say don't be too hasty about quitting, aren't lessons only what? one hour? - out of a week? Surely you can manage that, baby or no baby. You mentioned a partner, surely he can look after the baby while you have a lesson?

Secondly, if you want to play, if you have a passion, you'll play, baby or no baby. Put the baby in a basket while you play, or a bouncer or something. Anyhow, all they do is feed and sleep when they're little. Later put the baby on the floor with a toy, and when it's old enough it can draw, or play on a keyboard, or read while you practice. And it'll learn the sound of the music. Just think of those dopey classical music tapes you''re supposed to play to babies to make them smart - playing yourself is infinitely better.

Babies aren't the be-all-and-end-all and if you love to play the baby will just have to learn that it has a mum who plays, that's that. That's what you do. It's not neglecting it, it's showing it you have a life too. I reckon that's important for kids to know.

But if you want to quit because you've lost the passion and found a new one, well then only play when you feel like it, otherwise don't worry, you'll get back to it.

I agree that you may need the paino to keep your sanity once the baby arrives. But I don't agree that a career at home is nice. Yuk. I'd rather chew off my arm. (No offence intended to anyone who enjoys it).

A child is great but don't forget you've got a life too. I really don't see how pregnancy/motherhood can possibly stop you playing playing! You may have less time but if you really have to play because you just have to you will, one way or another.

Good luck with it all!