actually my teacher kept telling me to lift my wrist up cos my hands were being lazy, and then i figured, maybe it's partly because i've been playing on a more horizontal than vertical line- like if i play more on top of the keys rather than reaching out to it, then my fingers are going to be playing more on the tip of the finger, and then 'dropping' them, like you said, is going to take them in the right direction, if that makes any sense...
I was referring more to an idea to keep in your head. If you think of dropping, it will pull you away from the thought of pushing with excess force.
Your fingers are not like noodles or lazy. If that part of your fingers bends in that direction it means that you are double jointed...your fingers that is. Some people are born with that. Most people cannot bend their first finger joint in the upward direction. Exercises in control might help. Unfortunately this condition can make piano playing more difficult. Ask your teacher for advice on dealing with this problem!