dilemma

[lisztener]

Hi
I'm not in this situation myself, I'm just curious what you all would have done...
What would you have chosen if you had to choose between having a partner adn a career as a pianist? Hopefully non of of will ever have too...
But think of what you would have done
take care /listener

[kau]

I don't understand why should a partner be against one's pianist career...? 

[lisztener]

If you spend too much time on the piano the relationship with your partner suffers...   Independing on proffession of course, buth since you have to work really hard to become a famous pianist that risque might be higher for the pianists..  Whether you agree or not  what would you have chosen if you were in this situation?
take care

[kau]

I can't say what I would have chosen in this situation because it depends.  If one truly loves the pianist AND the pianist truly loves the other, too then it could work. But for a relationship to work both parties have to be flexible to some degree.  I personally think that if someone wants to become a very very good pianist and it's his/her dream then it would be wise from the partner to allow this.  If one loves him/her then he/she lets him/her reach his/her goals.  But -  if the pianist wants to keep the relationship he/she has to make some time for this, otherwise it's impossible.   
It depends on the concrete parties, their personalities, on the situation... there's so many factors that count.   The non-pianist partner has to accept though that the pianist is away a lot.  There's a price to pay...
One final thought - sometimes it doesn't matter how much time the two partners spend together but what is the quality of the time spent together. 

[pianistimo]

what if you were 'duo pianists' and travelled together.  or, if one wasn't performing - they'd take care of the other one (preparing clothing, meals) and trade off.  as i see it, two are better than one.  especially when it comes to deadlines.  but, you also have to factor in the  troubles another person can get you into, as well.  and, well, pregnancies.  if you want a really hard career - no children is probably more 'practice practical' and would allow for more pragmatic approach.  the other way might drive one insane if they are striving for a professional pianist level from the start.

for me, i am waiting for mroe time to practice.  i really wanted a family.  and, yet, i want a career, too.  i don't know why.  they seem at odds with one another - but not really if you take a little at a time and don't leave your family out.  they'll understand when i'm 50-60 and am gone on these little side trips (whether accompanying or just playing for smaller crowds - weddings/funerals/parties/restaurants/whatever).  i couldn't take a little 2-5 year old (or baby) to do this full time - but i've often played in church and for other functions with a baby in tow.  it's not easy - but you find a babysitter.

when you think about it - it comes down to legacy.  would you rather have a legacy of being known for your music (shorter legacy unless you are very famous), or would you like a legacy of your family name passing from generation to generation (longer legacy).  did horowitz have children?  i don't know.  probably he, arrau, and many others chose not to.  but, wouldn't you miss it when you are old.  noone to visit you, take care of you.    and, taking care of them when they're younger teaches one lots of love and patience.  bach is probably an exception being that he was a master performer, composer, teacher, and parent (and all his kids were musicians, on top of that!).

[jas]

It would depend on the circumstances. If the partner was the one making me pick, that would tell me all I'd need to know about them to know I wouldn't be interested in spending the rest of my life with them.
I agree with kau, anyway -- both people in a relationship have to be flexible and aware of the other's feelings, otherwise even little things will start to cause tension.

Why do you ask?

Jas

[lisztener]

I'm just curious what an experienced pianist would say.... 
It's nothing in particulary
take care