Piano Forum

In the beginning you need more clarity (indeed throughout the rest of the piece as well).  You're not using enough of your fingers and that's what's causing the notes to run together.  Try practicing the beginning slower and lift your fingers high before striking the notes. 

I don't think it's very robotic, but you don't seem to understand what's important to bring out to your audience.  You seem to be focussing on the harmony in the RH and not the melody -- bring that out, don't just shrug it off.  The LH is not going to do anything for you if you play it as loud as you are in places (like the octaves in the middle, which should be MUCH quieter, by the way).

Make sure your rhythms are very crisp and that the hands are playing in ensemble with one another.  Like in the very beginning, after the first couple measures when you're playing the Dd - C - F# - E in the RH, the hands are not together, .  You might try playing the beginning without pedal a few times to make sure the hands are playing at the right time.

Notes....  yes, the notes are very important, and when you play so many that it distracts the audience from the music, then it matters.  An occasional slip of the fingers is forgivable, but a slip of the fingers every measure or two is not.

Other than that, good job!   

What are your plans after highschool?