difficult student

[piano_teacher]

i have a student who is terribly disrespectful and refuses to do much, if anything, of what i say.  she simply just doesn't do what i ask of her.  i'll ask her to play something, or read or do something etc, and she'll do her own thing.. when i call her on it, and ask what i asked her to do, what sh e is doing, etc.. she just says, well i was going to, but now you wont let me... i dont know what to do with this situation at all. i've talked with the parents who have said they have been having problems as well, but it didn't get anywhere.  rewards dont seem to work.  she has tremendous talent, but for whatever reason doesn't want to do what anyone asks of her.. she constantly wants to be in control, no matter what.  any ideas, suggestions, on what to do?  i really dont even look forward to her lesson anymore.

[dinosaurtales]

How old is she?  From the description I would guess 12 or 13........  

[Scarborough]

Regardless of their age, they need to stop.  They are wasting everyone's time.  I posted this for another question.  Read this webpage:

https://www.serve.com/marbeth/dismiss.html

It talks about more than just dismissing a student.  There is a great deal about putting a student on probation and it sounds like that's what you need to do.  

Invite the parent into the lesson, tell them both that you are placing the student on probation in your studio, these are the things that are going well, these are the things not going well.  I need to see improvement in areas A B and C in one month, and being consistant after that or I will have to release you from my studio.
Put it in writing in their notebook, so they have to stare at what you want improved.

Be sure to address the problematic behavior and not the person.  There's more about all of this on the link above.    Good luck!  I wouldn't tolerate it, whether it was a 6 year old or a 60 year old.

Scarborough/Heather

[Hmoll]

Regardless of their age, they need to stop.  They are wasting everyone's time.  I posted this for another question.  Read this webpage:

https://www.serve.com/marbeth/dismiss.html

It talks about more than just dismissing a student.  There is a great deal about putting a student on probation and it sounds like that's what you need to do.  

Invite the parent into the lesson, tell them both that you are placing the student on probation in your studio, these are the things that are going well, these are the things not going well.  I need to see improvement in areas A B and C in one month, and being consistant after that or I will have to release you from my studio.
Put it in writing in their notebook, so they have to stare at what you want improved.

Be sure to address the problematic behavior and not the person.  There's more about all of this on the link above.    Good luck!  I wouldn't tolerate it, whether it was a 6 year old or a 60 year old.

Scarborough/Heather

Scarborough is dead on correct.

With the above approach, who knows, the little darling might learn a valuable lesson in life.

[piano_teacher]

thank you for your idea...  yesterday was her last lesson of the semester.. its seemed like an eternity in coming... anyway, i had a long talk with her about her attitude towards everything.. i told that i would not put up with her defiant attitude towards me etc anymore...  i also told her that as of next semester things would be much different and if she didn't make some sincere and serious changes in her behavior then i would not be able to teach anymore... we'll see what happens, we have a month off, so we'll see if there are any changes after the holiday season.. with luck, maybe the time off will change her.. i'm highly doubtful, but i intend to make up a rather detailed plan of how lessons will run etc, and the consequences if they dont before the next semester starts up.  thanks again for your idea.

[Chitch]

Here's the mistake of your school. You have the policy of "You pay us, we teach you, regardless of your attitude". At the studio I work the policy's "You pay us,  respect us, and we teach and respect you".

When I first started teaching I had a student just like you (and still have). Everyday for a month she would bring in her cell phone and mp3/CD player and actually talk on the phone then listen to songs. Imagine, she has her attention split 3-ways to the cell phone, headset, and then me. All the time I would ask her to put the cellphone and mp3/cd player away and everyday she'd roll her eyes at me. So here I am putting up with this garbage for a little over a month thinking that she'll just stop bringing these items (ha, I know but remember our policy ). A few weeks into my second month working at the studio I asked her what it was that she wanted in music and she said "I want to be like Alicia Keys". Back and forth I throwed some rhetorical questions i.e do you think Alicia Keys spoke on a cellphone and listened to songs during her piano lessons? I gave her the location of Walter's Music Centre and she picked up some songs that interested her, since then there hasn't been a problem.

I guess the first question you have to ask any student before you even start teaching is "What do you want in music?" If there answer's something like "just to know how to play" there's know way I'd put them in RCM, they lose interest fast since most kids aren't into classical music. Maybe it'd help if you gave her a break from classical ( if that's what you're doing now ), or just tell her "You paid to get respect and I've given it to you, but I need your respect in order to be a better help to you"