Male to female conversation.

[debussy symbolism]

Greetings.

A recent argument that I have read in couple of papers has captured my imagination. Men and women differ in many ways, physically, and of course, mentally. One of the aspects of social behavior that has intrigued me is the difference between conversational patterns of men and women. The several articles mentioned earlier both assessed the notion, and provided opinion due to observation, the likes of which I would like to share here.

Have you ever noticed how women talk and how men talk. Women and more personal, hence their conversations tend to be more eye to eye, facing each other, and often times finishing off each other's sentence. Females also utter a greater number of sounds such as "ya", "uh uh", etc. Women tend to exclude the males in coversations and the topics discussed tend to be more personal. Even during the early years, females and males for that matter, only include the same sex in their parties, males with males, and females with females. Even in adult life, the conversations mostly take place between same sexes.

Males however, do not show the nuances in convesation that females do. They mostly do not look each other in the eyes, and tend to look away from each other when talking. Males generally keep reticent during convesations when another member is talking. As with females, males are more prone to the discussion of topics that males associate with themselves, such as their work, cars, sexual relationship, etc.

In a male and female relationships, certain states of quandaries may arise due to the lack of undestanding of the other sex's convesational patterns. A wife may be upset because she finds her husband not looking at her when she is talking. The husband may find his wife's speeches way too prolix and not "to the point". A wife might find her husband's way of speaking too desultory, not adhering to one topic extensively.

Such misundestandings may lead to acrimonious convesations and an upset relationship. A study has shown that a very significant percent of marriages fail because of miscommunication.

I thought that the points presented were quite intriguing.

[pianistimo]

yes?  are you thinking of getting married and you have to read papers?  try just going out and having a conversation.  it's a little easier.  women don't really judge men as much as men think they are being judged.  in fact, i think women are the ones that can be hurt much more easily by words.  therefore, if you see a woman backing up and throwing a few insults - it's probably just her way of 'protecting herself.' 

we live in a much more conversational society than ever before.  cell phones.  text messages.  i think there is way too much opportunity for women AND men to get the last word.  in previous societies you might have to wait a month or a year or several years to get a reply.  that might have made conversation easier between men and women.

i think they were probably so hot by that time - they didn't speak.  my best conversations with my husband have been unspoken.  i don't understand parts of his sentences.  but, who's going to go around stopping a person in mid-sentence all the time to clarify meanings.  i just say 'uh- huh.'  do you know the consequences of not doing that?  an hour's worth of helping me understand.  like i'm an idiot.  i like quick conversations.  like grocery shopping.  i don't understand when people take an hour to decide which kind of apples to buy.  just pick one and be done with it.  now, this might prove to be my downfall in conversation.  my husband is extremely careful with words.  he doesn't like the wrong ones to be chosen to describe an action or what happened or to say how to do something.  he could work for the police force or fbi, he's that careful.  i on the other hand have been known at times to expand the original version.  unpurposely, but for effect.  i like to make my husband laugh - just as much as he likes to make me look at him sideways.  he finds when i don't understand something - very appealing.  sometimes, when i have time - i look him in the eyes.

just so you don't get the wrong idea - he has gorgeous chocolate brown eyes.  the thing is that when he takes his glasses off - he has a strange power over me.  he can say basically anything if i am looking at his eyes.  i don't hear his words anymore.  it's an etherial 'waa waa waa.'  i jsut say 'yes.'  perhaps women are visual, too?

[debussy symbolism]

What are your experience with the matters I presented? What have you noticed when talking to other women. How about when your husband talks to other women or other men? Do you see any difference.

I do not even think of going out with anyone. I don't see the point in it.

[pianistimo]

i'm not known to be a conversationist unless i have to. i usually am known for going around disconnecting the phone and avoiding my paganini variations ring on my cell phone.  i hate calls asking about political affliations and research of different kinds that request polls.  i don't even like to solve financial things over the phone and would rather write a letter.  i like libraries because people are forced not to talk.  i like to hear the twittering of birds and nature sounds over vowels and consonants.  or listen to music or hear opera. 

occasionally, there will be the rare person who gets through on my telepathic wave length.  usually, only when they play the piano.  i hear conversations in what they play.  i hear expressions that cannot be expressed through verbal language.  somehow verbal language is trite. 

at least in the written form - you can choose what you want to hear and read more if it interests you.  when you are in person - it is rude to just up and walk away.  i never look past a person's eyes if they are talking to me.  i usually try to maintain a certain intensity of conversation to anyone that i talk to.  but, if i'm putting in some effort - i don't want a phone call to be making an interruption.  and visa-versa, i'm very confused as to what to do when my phone rings.  usually i answer it, too - but i'm about to bury my cell phone.  i think i hate them.  i'd rather be stranded  (just joking).  i purposely dont' charge my phone up - which bugs my husband.  i was hoping it would bring him home sooner. 

[debussy symbolism]

Do you like to communicate with your husband? Trite or no trite, has to be done.

[pianistimo]

yes.  we have a relationship like ? and mary maitalene.  i know his name.  it bugs me i can't think of it.  anyway.  i love to talk with my husband just to hear his voice.  he has a very deep voice and i hear music in it.  sometimes i just ask him to talk or sing.  it reassures me.  not for the verbal content - but for the noise factor.  seriously, i listen closer than i let on - but i sometimes have to think about things for a few hours.  if i disagree with something - i'm learning to just think about his side for a while.  he usually presents some good ideas about his views.  then, i think 'oh.  he thinks really complicated thoughts.'

and visa-versa...he has become much more compassionate in dinner conversation.  you know.  lighter subjects.  not that i don't like more detailed ones.  but the kind that revolve around decorating the house or what the children are doing.  he's become really talented at taking his glasses off and looking at me really sexy and then i lose all my thoughts and start mumbling.

[debussy symbolism]

Yes, you fall directly under the women "chart". You listen to the nuances more than the word content. Females show a greater tendency in this area.

[pianistimo]

i do follow the hands with conversation with men.  they seem to tell a story.  for instance, the man who puts his fingers together in a peak (all five) has somewhat of an ego.  i tune out instantly.  a man who describes something with joy, on the other hand, and uses his hands to point this way and that - i really attach myself to.  a man who puts a finger to the chin when thinking and then points to the ceiling when he has a 'eureka' moment - is irresistable.  i like men who put their ideas to work.  not the ones who just come up with ideas.

men's premise for being (besides procreating) is solving problems, imo.  if a man can solve problems - he's viable.

[debussy symbolism]

How does you husband react to your speech? Is he impatient? Does he always want to get to the point?

[pianistimo]

i rarely give speeches.  only at the dinner table.

it really depends on what room we are in.  if we are in the bedroom - we use hand signals.  if we are in the kitchen we use kitchen utensils to dramtize what we are saying.  if we are in the livingroom - the tv speaks for us.  a ballgame signals that nothing will be heard by him for approximately an hour. 

[debussy symbolism]

So, would you say that your husband is more loquacious than you?

[pianistimo]

yes.  we have really great conversations in the car when the kids are asleep or we are off by ourselves.  usually on the weekends.  we can focus better.  during the week it's sort of haphazard sometimes.  we get things done and accomplished - but having time to just sort out thoughts is best done when there's no pressure to get to work or get someone to school.  i'd say exercising together is our second place to talk.  we like to bicycle together.  it brings our relationship closer - to have weekends.

[debussy symbolism]

Aha! Exellent. Men are generally more garrulous because that enables them to get a ranking in society.

[pianistimo]

i suppose you are right!  my husband is known for pulling out exact meanings from a person.  he'll ask a question several times over the course of a day in different ways to obtain precision.  maybe he understands me better than anyone because of the amount of effort he goes to verbally?  i do not care as much about verbal accuracy as much as i do gentleness.  he is also a very gentle man.  if he knows something bothers me - he won't purposely get me irritated.  women can be very distracted by irritations.  i feel a sense of peace when i am around him.  even just sitting and saying nothing at first.  just his presence.  i feel like he is sucking in my aura.  and i his. 

he is a master of expression, too.  he has all kinds of expressions he can get on his face.  i can read those pretty well, now.  well,i'm off to sleep.  i like talking with you!  i will tune on asap as soon as i can.  you are most enjoyable to discourse with.

[debussy symbolism]

Encomia to your relationship. I am very glad to find this kind of rapport and trust between you guys.

[quasimodo]

Debussy, don't buy to much of what you read in magazines and books. I'm not saying that it's totally wrong but there is definitely much of exaggeration and brainwashing.
Yes women and men do not act nor think nor talk the same way. But it doesn't necessarily lead to incompatibility. The differences are more on the surface. What is important is beyond the surface and that's where male/female relationship success or not is decided.

[debussy symbolism]

Of course you are right. I love to compare the validity of such "magazines and books" to the actual status, if there is one. This is why observation is important.

[prometheus]

I think such a theory is interesting and plausable. But we need actual solid research to know if it is true and to what extent it is true.

[pianistimo]

maybe the way female and male piano teachers teach piano?  it has been my experience that a man explains concepts in much more detail (excepting a few exceptionally loquacious and yet direct female teachers).  now, i don't necessarily think that women cannot be really great teachers, too.  i think it is a matter of getting 'mentoring' in explaining abstract concepts.  i think my daughter is beyond me already.  i take a little bit longer to explain an abstract concept - but i feel that my lessons are WAY less pressure oriented.  so, i think the advantage of having me as a piano teacher is that i am interested in what the other person is thinking and feeling.  if a concept makes sense to them.  i do ask.  i'll say something like - 'did that make sense to you?'  if the way i said something does not make sense - i WILL attempt to break the concept down more.

now, with female teachers - i think you will (at least for me, it's this way) have more touching at the first.  i try to relax the student and get them to 'feel' how to play the piano.  i don't care about all those signs in the colleges and universities (policies about 'don't touch, etc).  to me, you can't teach beginning piano lessons unless you can touch the person (girl/guy's) wrists and upper arms to make sure they are relaxed and feeling the way they should.

now, i sense a GREAT fear among most male teachers to do this.  but, i was extrememly grateful to one of my teachers to do this for me.  i didn't think anything sexual about it - but felt by his touch that it was another form of learning how to correctly play the piano.  i took that 'feeling' and tried to emulate it.  i would say i learned as much about piano technique from those several lessons as i did from a few years of explainations.  it has saved me countless times i could have gotten injuries from playing the wrong way.  carpel tunnels or something.  from his expert help - i can play up to 6-7 hours straight without any sort of stress in my arms.

also, i learned to gauge when i WAS feeling some kind of tension.  say the bach english suite #3.  it is non-stop notes.  if i practiced the way i used to - it would be 'repeat this 3x over'  but - i just take out the spots that bother me.  practice a few times - play it through once or twice and go on to something else.  no need to overpractice.  overpracticing something with a lot of notes and demands to me is kinda bad.  i feel that it is more helpful to come back to it (if you are headed for recital) several times during the day and not all at one time.  and, whenever the hands/wrists feel strain - to stop that particular piece.  so far, thank God, i have not had any problems.  i thank my teacher for that, too.

now, my current last teacher showed me MORE relaxation by allowing the hands a flatter position on the keyboard.  at first i thought 'wrong, wrong.'  but, after trying it - i realize that it wasn't more effort to bring the fingers off the keys - as the keys raise by themselves.  it's more like stroking the keyboard.  i would say my last teacher was VERY sensitive to communication and was quite surprisingly a great teacher for his young age.    when one is really in tune with music - i think they are automatically in tune with feminine and masculine sides.  it was nice that he didn't yell or anything during lessons.  that can really throw a person.  it's suddenly confusion gone wild.  you are no longer concentrating on what you did or didn't do - but on the intense bizarre behavior of a teacher.  now, that isn't to say that i didn't have to risk a football injury when my teacher ran towards the bench to better explain by playing a passage.  i tried to jump off the bench but was afraid that the bench was going to fall over or that i was going to trip over half of it.  students tend to imitate the speed of actions of their teacher.  i saw - 'coming at the bench 30 mph.  must jump quickly.'  he sat back away from the piano a good distance - so at least i saw him coming.  and, he did warn me by saying 'let me show you...' or something to that effect.

now, with a woman teacher - perhpas this is bad - but they sit very close.  the reason for this is so that they can explain with one hand in the treble - how to play a passage.  but they do it sideways and it's never quite comfortable.  for the student, however, it is nice because they only have to slide just a little to the left.  sometimes, i am even known to just slide on over to the right side of the bench.  good thing i don't teach at uni yet.  somehow - close proximity doesn't bother me.  maybe so many little kids i've taught?  those are a few differences that come to mind.

[pianistimo]

in re-reading questions posed by you, debussy symbolism, i realized that 2 am wasn't my best concentrated time and that perhaps i skipped over some of your questions.  partly because i wasn't sure what to say at the time, too.

women to women conversations.  hmmm.  well, i have the busstop, which is many women to many women.  there seems to be a pecking order going on as to who will join the home and school association (with fees) and who is not.  if you don't join you are a lazy mum and therefore on the side.  well, i did my time when the other two were younger - and i need to work now or do something else besides staple and collate.  this is very very bad of me, i know.  maybe one or two days i'll bring cupcakes and play for the musical they're having. 

as far as one on one - i am much better.  i feel that with my neighbors on both sides - we have extended conversations about one thing or another.  i really love both of them - but the one on the left makes me laugh a lot.  she's very unassuming and looking at her - you would think she's just an average person.  but, she's basically a scientist.  she likes to compare and analyze and conceptuatlize things very similarly to man.  and, yet, in the last few years she's found a very feminine side to herself.  she's really looking good these days and her boyfriend has got her wearing skirts and feminine stuff.  i think she's a really sweet lady and is finding satisfaction in life in the love area too. 

anyhew,  when i talk to her - i find that she is very much like my husband.  factually oriented and likes things precise.  so, i find myself not talking about the weather so much as something definite.  i'd like to just sit at her table sometime and just have a chat.  this is how it would go.  we would sit there in silence for a few minutes whilst she poured some tea.  (she's japanese).  i would say something.  she would challenge what i said.  i'd say - i never thought of it that way before.  silence.  then, she would say something like - blah blah about some other subject - and i would counter it with my thoughts.  she'd say hmmm.  i never thought of it like that.  then, i'd ask her about her recent travels (to peru, no less) and she'd bring out some pics (of which i have yet to see - because her boyfriend is monopolizing her) and tell me about peru.  what is very nice is that we both really like each other and respect each other's views without having to believe the very same thing.  she's cool.

now, some women can be 'if you don't see it my way - i'm not going to waste time on a friendship.'  so, you kinda figure out who is not going to talk a lot.  for instance, there's one woman on the block whom i occasionally see at the ymca when we go to sunbathe and swim.  she always tells me where she is going on vacation and expects me to say something about where i am going - as if i follow people around and copy what they do.  if i'm not going on vacation - what's that to her.  she just waits in silence and i change to another subject and she disappears.  it's sort of a status conversation.  she's saying - i'm better than you.  i go on more vacations.  you are just a lowly ymca vacationer. 

it's not really true.  because we do go on vacations.  just not at the same time as her.  i always acknowledge her statement by saying 'oh, i hope you have a great time.  do you have friends there?'  or stuff like.  so i am responding to her.  but she doesn't take the time to respond to my questions because i'm not 'into' talking about going on vacation for more than 2 minutes. 

same for phone calls - whether guy or girl - i don't like it when people suddenly call and think they have this 'authority' to pull me out of my day and start on some questions or ask something that takes 5 minutes without first asking 'do you have a moment?'  it's people that are rude that i don't particularly want to talk to.

i think in general, the rule is for women and men to have decorum in workplace conversation.  so why not in casual conversation.  does a woman have a right to ask anther woman or man personal questions.  i don't think so.  i think there's a line to be drawn when talking to both sexes and also issues of getting to know the person so you kind of have a pattern of talk established.  susan

[Floristan]

Talk about prolix! 

[pianistimo]

i've got more.  since it was brought up - i really watched the two guys at the bus stop today for eye contact.  you are right, debussysymbolism.  the first guy said hello without even looking at the other guy.  then, they exchange greetings and talk.  and the guy that was there first extends an umbrella to the second guy.  but the second guy is macho-like and refuses the umbrella on grounds that he always walks out in the rain without umbrellas or something like that.  of course, then he has to cover himself so the first guy won't feel less of a man with an umbrella.  of course, they are both waiting for kindergarteners - so what kind of an impression are they trying to make on the women around?  it's a catch-22.  if you're a man you don't use an umbrella.  or, if you are smart, you use an umbrella.  no matter.

now, for female joksters.  the lady that lives near the busstop can blow gigantic bubblegum bubbles and frequently shows off.  claiming that once, in her basement, she blew a bouncy-ball size bubble and had to call the kids with a sort of 'uhhh' sound so they could see before it popped.  little did she know -they would then chase her around trying to pop it.  it was then, she said, she learned to do the pop-snap-slurp really quick.  somehow, this really impressed the ladies.  so much for really complicated conversation.  it's usually about some crafty project or the baby's first step. 

i'm sort a 'tweener' now.  i'm not a young baby-in-tow mom - and i'm not an old lady yet.  so i carefully choose my druthers and act interested until i can get back to reality at home.  which is laundry.  the peace and quiet lets me think about music.  if there are musical people around - i can talk for a long time. 

[leucippus]

~~~

What is all this jabberwocky?
This thread is gorged with talk!
There's nothing left to do
but sit around and gawk

Idle chatter, idle hands
and idle minds to think
Thank goodness it's just cyberspace
what a waste of ink!

Fingers on a keyboard
can be music to the ears
but only if the keyboard
has pianistic peers

Poke the keys to make a sound
but instead you get a letter
what a waste of energy
a piano would be better

Forget about the jabberwocky,
go pounce on ivory keys
communicate your deepest fervor
with virtuosic ease

Communicate rhapsodically
with a polyphonic kiss
saturate your lover
with undulating bliss

Tickle with arpeggios,
entrance with cadenced chords
enthrall your partner into love
and be consumed in the rewards

~~~

(Leucippus 9/14/06)
 

[debussy symbolism]

Great observations. I am interested in your responce concerning piano teacher's expressing via touch. My piano teacher does that; she checks if for example my hands are relaxed when I am playing. I do want to point out that females are more likely to stick to one topic extensivelly, whilst men just briefly discuss one and then jump to another one. Perhaps that's why your posts are quite lengthy pianistimo.

[pianistimo]

this has been fun actually.  perhaps one sided.  and, leucippus, you have again outdone yourself!

my question for both of you is that do you think pianists (male and female) that are possessed by the piano bug typically are just a bit anti-social to begin with.  that we can take or leave conversation.  i mean, if people are around - we can obviously converse - but if there is a piano around...which is likely #1 talk #2 play?  or #1 play and #2 talk. 

my fantasy is to have a fazioli completely in tune in a recording setting and about 3 weeks of uninterrupted pracice time.  i believe that i could go three weeks without talking and it would not bother me.  perhaps i'm being dramatic - but if a piano was REALLY in tune and really pumped - i'd probably enjoy those three weeks and not feel tortured in any way.

of course, if i knew anything about technology i'd get a recording and post it,too.  yikes.  i was ready last year to post a few things - but now i have to practice again.  to me, the best conversation starter is repertoire.  but, even with family, you really don't have a chance!  my kids try to say my practice keeps them from concentrating on their homework.  i thought that classical music was supposed to help one become able to concentrate better! 

[leucippus]

my question for both of you is that do you think pianists (male and female) that are possessed by the piano bug typically are just a bit anti-social to begin with. 

I don't know enough pianists to answer that.  I believe that there are many different reasons that people become interested in playing the piano.  Some are attracted to the pure artistic aspect of the music, others are performers who are attracted to the idea of performing for other people, some are pure egotists who simply want to show off and seek fame and fortune.

There are many motivations, some are more socially oriented while others are more reclusive.  I guess my person attraction must be from the aspect of pure art since I really have no major desire to perform.  Although, I'm also quite scientifically minded, and I think that classical music has an almost mathematical appeal to it.  I believe that this is part of what originally attracted me to learning to play the piano and violin.

I'm definitely very much of a recluse.  I often go for literally months without seeing another human (especially in the dead of winter).  Maybe save for the occasional grocery shopping trip which I often do in the middle of the night when the stores are almost empty.

But then I hardly consider myself a "pianist" either.  I am learning to play the piano, but I'm also learning to play the violin.  If I had to put a label on myself I think it would ultimately need to be "theoretical physicist" or "abstract mathematician". 

Or maybe the most accurate label would be "Lonely nerd who fell through the cracks of society".

[pianistimo]

you sound like glen gould reincarnated.  do you mind me asking a semi-personal question (after i so eloquently said people should not ask them) where do you live (generally)?  in canada?  where can one go and avoid people for months without seeing another human?  or do you live in alaska?  maybe i should go on the introduction thread and peruse - but it's much easier to ask straight away. 

music as it's own enjoyment and art is really where it's at.  i agree. but, there is something in most people that causes them - once they learn the piano to a certain level - to want to also play for others.  it's kind of like climbing a mountain or learning to ski - you have to say 'ooh. look over here.  i can do it too!'  i've always had a little edge of competition to me - although usually way under the others that i'm trying to catch up to.  but, i never give up.  i always remember the 50 year old woman in my piano master class 20 years ago that would always play -even though she inevitably would have memory slips.  i think that took courage.  she was a heavy smoker from the nerves of it all - and was quite funny.  she smoked before and after - like it was a really important performance.   oh, well!  it made her happy.  and she always encouraged all of us.  i don't plan to start smoking to help my playing - but it was kinda funny.  i think she thought it calmed her nerves - but it made her more jittery than ever. 

now, i'm only 45.  that is young, right?  i could have a whole 45 years left of a career.  i'm not joking either.  i'm going to hunt down a symphony and play a piano concerto or two.  then, i'm walking right over to west chester (well, maybe driving) and knocking on my piano teachers door and saying 'now look what happened to me.' 

[anekdote]

Costa, Terracciano, & McCrae did some work which measured sex differences in the Big Five personality traits. When it came to the trait "Openness to Ideas," men so consistently scored higher than women (even cross-culturally) that the authors created a new construct called "feminine Openness," which adds the scores of Aesthetics, Feelings, and Actions, and subtracts the score of Ideas. So it turns out that the stereotype that women are more likely to explore their feelings while men are more likely to explore ideas is true. Furthermore, they found that women scored higher on all facets of Agreeableness. And when it came to Extraversion, women also scored higher on Warmth and Gregariousness.

The results speak for themselves. Women tend to be people-oriented, and tend to explore their own (and others) emotions. This explains the sex differences in communication.

But what causes the personality differences? It is reasonable to assume that they are hormonal, but I wouldn't know all the details.

[leucippus]

now, i'm only 45.  that is young, right?  i could have a whole 45 years left of a career.

Artur Rubinstein was playing public concerts into his 100's I belive.  So yes, you could very easily have 45 plus years of pianistic career ahead of you.

When I date 45 year old chickiepoohs I feel like I'm robbing the cradle.  

[prometheus]

Methuselah was 969 years old. So you could just as well wait 200 years and then have the longest career of any pianist ever.


But why even spend your earth time on something silly like piano? When you are in heaven you have until eternity to practice and without getting hungry, thristy or tired and any need for sleep.
You should just give up on piano and devote your life to god. That's what life on earth is for; to prove you have what it takes to make it into heaven. And then when you do you have nothing more to worry about.

[debussy symbolism]

Is your responce serious Prometheus, otherwise "ha-ha";both ways ha ha actually. How do you know that heaven exists? How do you know that devoting oneself to God will aquire you access there? Do you actually believe that those that devote themselves to God and God only would go into heaven, whilst all those that immerse in arts, science, etc would not? That is both absurd and un"heavenly".

[pianistimo]

the never hungry, thirsty, or tired part sounds good.  also, i hope there are no more headaches.  i've had one for the past day.  i think i have a brain tumor from too much computer time.  it's right behind my left eye. 

[debussy symbolism]

Pianistimo, every time I log on you are logged on. What is the matter?

[debussy symbolism]

And I really hope that you don't have and wouldn't have any tumors.

[debussy symbolism]

Sitting around and only immersing oneself in religion isn't going to grant one access into heaven. Devoting oneself to education and knowledge, will. I am not saying that religion is a waste of time, it's not. Just that that shouldn't be the center of one's life.

[pianistimo]

i tend to overexaggerate sometimes for sympathy.  my kids don't notice until it gets to the point that i can't move.  when i say 'go do it yourself ' they know i'm incapacitated.  my son got his drivers license today.  that could explain the continuation of the headache.  he's a very good driver - but i worry about those split second decisions.  you know.  gunning it.  i don't want him spinning his wheels and bam.  anyhew.  $8oo+ dollars for insurance.  i'm just pretending right now it won't matter - but he's got to have a car, too, to get around and go to work.  now, i'm realizing why my mother had recurring headaches as well.  it won't be so bad when he's been driving a few years - but right now - it's really hard to let go and just not worry.  i worry about my daughter too.  i just dropped her off at the ymca and then these gangsta guys drive into the parking lot.  i'm hoping they're not in aerobics. 

thanks for saying 45 is young.  some days i feel really good and other days i feel terrible.  i think as one gets older you have to work out just as much as the younger kids.  they work out every day.  i'm lucky to work out on the weekends, now. 

[pianistimo]

imo, God is with us 100% of the time.  why should we not have a conversation with Him whenever we want.  i always talk to Him, meditating or otherwise.  He's the biggest help in my life (barring my husband).  but, agreed.  one doesn't have to convince others of God all the time.  there's a time and place.  female to male conversation is probably proof that most men feel that they are completely capable to handle their own lives and don't need someone to help them.  women on the other hand hear the word 'help' and think ok.  sure.  i'll take that.  i pray over non-working garbage disposals, large bills, my children, occasioanlly my husband (if he's not feeling well or sick), my friends, my enemies, it's just a sort of continual thing throughout the day , too.  if i come into a good situation, i try to thank Him.  a bad one, and i'm saying 'help help!'