Polish tramps.

[zheer]

  Why cant these polish tramps ,find life on the streets of london better than there own country, thousands homless in the uK.Surly they should find a better life in poland.

[nicco]

Money

[henrah]

Probably because they had a dream of getting a wonderful job here, and used up all of their savings to travel here only to find that they can't get a job anywhere and have no means of getting home. Requiems to a dream are hurtful sometimes.

[thalbergmad]

England is full up.

Close the doors.

Thal

[gruffalo]

yea, i find there are a bunch of disgraceful Polish people, however the majority i find decent. its funny if you look at the crowd at the Polish churches. even the rough looking guys dont fail to turn up. i find the bench boozers are a real disgrace and people get the misconception that all Poles are like that. Hire a Polish builder and you will see good results. the reasons why they came here are different i guess. My grandparents came over after the WW2. one of my grandads fought with the RAF, the other fought with the British at Monte Casino. they were brought back here and granted refuge. another load came because of the Communism. life still isnt great in Poland, so a lot come looking for jobs. others come because they are bored and were troublemakers in Poland anyway.

[thalbergmad]

one of my grandads fought with the RAF, the other fought with the British at Monte Casino.

My Uncle was in the RAF and once told me that the Polish fighters were beyond brave and would fly mission after mission.

Brave men.

Thal

[pianolist]

My next door neighbour, Frank, was at Monte Cassino, and after VE Day, many of the Poles wanted to go home. The British troops all warned against it, and according to Frank, once they went over to the Russian side, they were all rounded up and shot.

I like the Poles; they work hard, and they are warm-hearted. Anyone in South-East London need a builder? Vaclav is your man. Terms on application. He's used to musicians by now.

[gruffalo]

My Uncle was in the RAF and once told me that the Polish fighters were beyond brave and would fly mission after mission.

Brave men.

Thal

theres a very good book about this called "For your freedom, and ours". its written by english writers and explains their outlook on the Poles in the RAF.

Gruff

[zheer]

My Uncle was in the RAF and once told me that the Polish fighters were beyond brave and would fly mission after mission.

Brave men.

Thal

  Are you sure about that,i've met a few nothing brave about them, they are like the english only brave in numbers but as individuals they are cowards. Trust me not joking once i got into argument with a buch of polish people took about five of them including a few english guys stoping me from kicking the crap out of them.

[pianistimo]

chopin liked polish tramps.  or was she french.  sorry.  has anyone read her books?

the poet mickiwickz (sp?) was the son-in-law of a polish woman composer (symanowska) who was quite a prolific songwriter and turned four of his poems into music.  more about her at www.usc.edu/dept/polish_music/essays/womenww.html  (scroll down)

[ahinton]

the poet mickiwickz (sp?) was the son-in-law of a polish woman composer (symanowska) who was quite a prolific songwriter and turned four of his poems into music.  more about her at www.usc.edu/dept/polish_music/essays/womenww.html  (scroll down)

This very useful essay is coincidentally written by one "Wanda Wilk", who sounds to be nine-sixteenths of a famous Polish woman violinist! I'm not sure whether she slightly overplays her hand in seeking to single out the sadly short-lived Grazyna Bacewicz as the greatest ever female composer, but there can be no doubt that her work - and there's no shortage of it! - deserves far more attention than it gets, even today.

I note that no mention is made as to whether Maria Szymanowska was related in some way to Karol Szymanowski...


Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

i wondered that myself. 

[thalbergmad]

  Are you sure about that,i've met a few nothing brave about them, they are like the english only brave in numbers but as individuals they are cowards. Trust me not joking once i got into argument with a buch of polish people took about five of them including a few english guys stoping me from kicking the crap out of them.

There is a considerable difference between bombing missions and streetfights.

[gruffalo]

There is a considerable difference between bombing missions and streetfights.

was about to say the same thing. though the Polish were most affective in the fighter missions. a lot of them were very gifter pilots, and their determination enabled them to excel. I dont really compare the Polish generation who come here now, to the generation that fought the WW2.

[pianolist]

Thank God for the EEC, Ryanair and Eurostar, say I! Well, perhaps not Ryanair - he is so uncouth. But they have allowed us to meet Johnny Foreigner on an individual basis. Some of my friends say they don't like the Frogs, but I find plenty of escargot eaters to like. French women - ah, yummy, especially with garlic butter! Same with the Krauts and the Ities; some are really friendly, and some aren't. Same with the Polacks, folks.

Now someone might just reply to this and tell me I'm being rude, referring to our overseas brethren by their nicknames. But the fact is, I do so out of affection. It's a mistake to generalise about race. You simply can't do that if you want to speak to humanity through your piano playing.

I was in Prague in 1967 and 1969, and I remember the utter despair of my penfriend's parents. I also remember the day the Berlin Wall came down, and the sight, a few years later, of Czech and Polish coaches parked by the roadside in central London. The perception that a divided humanity had once again become united quite literally moved me to tears, as I drove up Park Lane.

PS to ahinton - it's only 9/16 if you disregard the space in between the names, otherwise it's 10/17. Cage teaches us how important spaces are in music!

[ahinton]

PS to ahinton - it's only 9/16 if you disregard the space in between the names, otherwise it's 10/17. Cage teaches us how important spaces are in music!

Ah, yes - those all-important spaces! - although, frankly, I found that Beethoven taught that long before Cage was a something-or-other in his mother's something-or-other, if you'll pardon my so saying. Your observation as to the fractions is, however, entirely correct on the terms in which you express it!

Wilko! (in another sense altogether) - not to mention A Fish Called Wanda...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

this all sounds very suspect.  a something or other in his mother's something or other?  was she a tramp, too?  or was it alcohol in his mother's milk.

[pianolist]

Oh, b****r! My dearly beloved has been at a concert in Birmingham tonight, and I have to go to Euston to pick her up from the milk train. Not that I mind that, of course, but we seem to be hotting up here.

Webster's vacillates between a marine gastropod and a pustule as the meaning of wilk. I daresay one might have seen both in Acne Marshes, if it wasn't for the 'ouses in between.

https://cancerweb.ncl.ac.uk/cgi-bin/omd?Whelk

[pianolist]

It's all because we derive from apes. The chimps have "us" and "them" groups, they fight wars, and they torture and murder the weakest. Chimps are really very unpleasant, and of all the ape species, they are the closest to us. There is another bunch, however, called the bonobos, who split off from the chimps long after we separated. The bonobos are gentle, ruled by the women, who are bonded together by very strong emotional and sexual relationships, generally older with younger.

I think that the human race is evolving in similar ways. Some sections of it remain belligerent, but there are huge groups that are more peace-loving, which was probably not always the case. It is very easy to perpetuate aggression and hatred, because they feed on each other from generation to generation. Gentleness is not always so easy to hand on, but serious music is one very good way of doing so.

My generation (born 1948) has been lucky to have lived through a sustained period of peace in the Western world. I fear that this new century will not be at all similar. The likelihood of small groups of aggressive people releasing dirty nuclear bombs is very great, and a great deal of land is going to be lost to the sea. Overcrowding breeds violence.

But intelligent people who affect to dislike others on a racial basis are either striking a pose, or else rendered stupid by youth or emotionalism, because it is blindingly clear that every society has its mix of pleasant and unpleasant individuals. Nor is religion a factor. Aggression comes from our animal roots, our propensity to see others on an "us" and "them" basis, just like the chimps. Although it can be disguised as religion or race, it is simply a facet of our common humanity.

[ahinton]

It's all because we derive from apes. The chimps have "us" and "them" groups, they fight wars, and they torture and murder the weakest. Chimps are really very unpleasant, and of all the ape species, they are the closest to us. There is another bunch, however, called the bonobos, who split off from the chimps long after we separated. The bonobos are gentle, ruled by the women, who are bonded together by very strong emotional and sexual relationships, generally older with younger.

I think that the human race is evolving in similar ways. Some sections of it remain belligerent, but there are huge groups that are more peace-loving, which was probably not always the case. It is very easy to perpetuate aggression and hatred, because they feed on each other from generation to generation. Gentleness is not always so easy to hand on, but serious music is one very good way of doing so.

My generation (born 1948) has been lucky to have lived through a sustained period of peace in the Western world. I fear that this new century will not be at all similar. The likelihood of small groups of aggressive people releasing dirty nuclear bombs is very great, and a great deal of land is going to be lost to the sea. Overcrowding breeds violence.

But intelligent people who affect to dislike others on a racial basis are either striking a pose, or else rendered stupid by youth or emotionalism, because it is blindingly clear that every society has its mix of pleasant and unpleasant individuals. Nor is religion a factor. Aggression comes from our animal roots, our propensity to see others on an "us" and "them" basis, just like the chimps. Although it can be disguised as religion or race, it is simply a facet of our common humanity.

May I respectfully make an appeal that the above kind of writing be taken up as a kind of benchmark for the sort of good sense and constructive thinking of which this often excellent forum is capable and which it could well adopt to the benefit of all its members?

Just my two cents' worth...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

i take exception to the idea that 'gentleness is not so easy to pass on.'  why not.  it is something that is taught.  otherwise, why do we bother with schools?  if we are all apes - we may as well just party and forget the idea of education altogether.  but, we have human brains.  brains and comprehension of reading - of which the animals and chimps have only a cursory idea that certain words bring them a morsel to eat.  of course they will do repetitive motions and become proficient in a string of ill bred mannerisms to make people laugh and awe over how 'human' they seem.  but, i've not yet seen people want to go around picking fleas off of one another or scratching their butts in public (with the exception of a few).  be my guest if you want to return to that!  i believe i never evolved from a lower life form.  not that i really consider animals lower in the sense of taking advantage of them - but lower in terms of intelligence.  adam was put as a keeper of the zoo and was given the task of naming and managing them.

did you know that the backs of chimps do not allow and never would allow for them to walk straight.  there is a missing link and people just go on thinking - 'yes, our backs have evolved from apes or chimps and we just one day decided to start walking upright.'  what happened the thumbs on our feet - to hold bananas?  why are we not hairy all over?  what does this have to do with polish tramps?

it is my estimation that if one actually saw a fine looking polish tramp - she wouldn't be as fat and acne scarred as one might imagine.  in fact, sex keeps people looking pretty young and energetic - unless totally overdone.  i am not condoning the sex part - but simply saying that i don't think an ugly tramp of any nationality would prove anything except that sometimes 'size matters.' 

[pianolist]

I'm not going down the creation impasse, or this thread will die, like so many others! We shall never agree on that, O religious one!

Just look at the wars fought over the centuries. Whatever you do, the strain of aggression runs deep in humanity. The Christians have arguably been the worst, what with the destruction of the Library at Alexandria, the sacking of Constantinople, and the Crusades, but that is only because they happened to ally themselves with the rulers of European society. Islam and Judaism have exactly the same potential for being violent, because the violence itself does not come from religion, but rather, religion is used as an excuse, as an easy means of drumming up support. Religion is the ultimate "us" and "them", which is exactly the same as the behaviour of  the chimps. Bush and Blair no longer have countires united by their religion, so instead they use the notion of terrorism to wage war, and ultimately to hold on to power. But they still do their utmost to create the "us" and "them" feeling, and by George, do they need Osama Bin Laden to stay alive and untraced!

I actually said that "gentleness is not always so easy to hand on", and I offered the suggestion that serious music was nevertheless one good way of doing so. Look at the world around you! Iraq, Afghanistan, Yugoslavia in the 1990s, the two World Wars, the Russian Revolution, and so on, and so on. It never stops. Whoever you believe is right or wrong in each case, you cannot deny that humans are at present incapable of settling their differences except by violence.

I have no time to continue this today, because our extremely gentle group of friends has a house concert tonight, in which various historic pianists will be contributing to a recital of French music. I have to type up the programme in the next 30 minutes, or I shall be "dead meat", as we say over here.

But one last thought. Surely you are not so fragile in your gentleness that you can only resist the temptations of "partying" on account of your religious beliefs? Do you really need God to prevent you behaving like a chimp? That would be terrible, and I cannot believe it, because you come over in your posts as a very gentle lady. I detect a certain disingenuousness, madame!

[thalbergmad]

disingenuousness

Massive, i is gonna have to look that one up.

Thali

[zheer]

  The fact is pianolist, an animals aggression is based on instinct like us ,however we have a different brain,one that is logical , rational and emotional, reason why one can be called a criminal for commiting a crime like murder. A criminal like Hitler has shown how ordinary people can be manipulated and converted into very bad criminals, this is the difference between us and apes, apes can kill,but they are not criminals it's different.
     I was watching the news yesterday, it seems that Russians are not a welcoming nation,many non Russian students get badly beaten-up and even shot, the same thing for immigrant they are treated very badly,serious discrimination,anyway nothing new we've all seen it in the past.However what i found horrific was that Russian military bomb towns where Muslims live,simple for being muslim and living by the words of God,thats the main priority. At first no violence comes from this, it is when killed and bombed for being such a strong believer,and in a sense that one lives as an outsider, that terrorizm begins.
So you can imagin if you see your own family friends,your own people beeing killed, will provoke reall anger and violince. Basically this concept that we were once Aps and thus have this killer instinct, is not true, its a lot more complex than that.

[gruffalo]

so are you basing your sour attitude to Poles upon what you are witnessing happening in Russia? im a bit confused.

Gruff

[zheer]

so are you basing your sour attitude to Poles upon what you are witnessing happening in Russia? im a bit confused.

Gruff

    No, to be honest i cant say anything bad about the pols, anyway who cares what i think. It was on the news the amount of homless pols, thats all.

[pianistimo]

dear pianolist,  for the sake of the enjoyment of arguing with you - which i consider a privilege - wasn't the library in alexandria built upon the pillaging that alexander the great did in around the areas of jerusalem and egypt?  in any case, i agree about feeling negative about religions tearing each other down.  personally, i was horrified that anyone would dare go into or around mosques or art museaums in iraq.  this happened in germany too, and it seems that bombing destroyed precioius pieces of art and music.  if only we could be peaceful.  i understand zheer's points.  every government is at fault.  there is no perfect government.  we are each taught that our own is pretty good.  but, the truth is that there are all sorts of government officials that lie, bribe, steal - and generally waste money for their own selves.  saddam hussein is probably no less than someone who's been allowed to wastefully spend in congress on their own pet projects.

not being fully up-to-date on the news today - having been fairly tired and sleeping half the day - i feel much less argumentative now.  having said my piece - i will hope that the french recital goes well and that you enjoyed the entire thing.  even the program printing.  ps  what do you mean by 'historic pianists?'  you mean pianola men, right?  are there some women, too?  why do i want to call them oompaloompas?

[pianolist]

Hello, dear. How's your disingenuousness today? Sorry if the estuary dwellers can't pronounce it.

I've said my piece here, and people can agree or disagree. Our Friends of the Pianola Institute had a great evening, at my friend Denis' house at Bromley in Kent. We listened to the playing of Paderewski, Saint-Saêns, Horowitz, Chaminade, Pugno, Diémer, Casadesus and others, all on Steinway grands playing recorded rolls, both Welte and Duo-Art. Then we ate dinner, because food and general sociability help to prevent us beating the daylights out of each other, which we we should otherwise do for sure!

In the second half my friend Denis and I between us pedalled España, arranged for piano by Camille Chevillard, the Sorcerer's Apprentice, and the second half of the Variations for Two Pianos on a Theme of Beethoven, by Saint-Saëns. The last one is a real killer for pianolists, on account of the speed and accuracy of accents that you need to generate, while keeping the music reasonably quiet. We ended with the Scherzo from the Saint-Saëns Second Piano Concerto, which we do on two pianolas.

Following that we had dessert (we pianola lovers like our ice cream and cheesecake), and then everyone played rolls informally. The hard core stayed until about 1 am. The wife and I were back there on Sunday morning with some musicians from Denmark. It's all go in the pianola world.

The 11th November will soon be upon us, and when gone will leave a terrible emptiness in our Forum. We shall need another abstruse recital to lampoon and ultimately attend, so with a certain trepidation I'd like it known that our Pianola Institute is putting on a concert of Russian music at the Purcell Room on the afternoon of Sunday, 3rd December. We are a registered charity, and no baby elephants are harmed in the perforation of our piano rolls, so I guess it's all right to plug it.

PS: Congratulations, O sexamillennial goddess!

[thalbergmad]

I'd like it known that our Pianola Institute is putting on a concert of Russian music at the Purcell Room on the afternoon of Sunday, 3rd December.

That is nice to know.

People posting about their own concerts is very infrequent here

I don't think i have got any religious festivals pencilled in for that date, so myself an "mental martin" will be able to attend.

Thali

[pianolist]

What a gent! Mind you, I'd be distressed to see a toasted Thali in row D. Watch out for any stray basket cases in the meantime.

[pianistimo]

i didn't realize chamille chavillard was THE sorcerer's apprentice.  and why, pianolist, would you feel the need to 'beat the daylights' out of each other after an exhausting concert.  is there that much competition in pianola playing?  who played for casedesus?  i want to find out that evening's alter-ego.

i can't say i am attending any relgious festival on nov. 11th.  too early for thanksgiving, and too late for worhsipping satan.  (of which i'm hoping i never do).  suppose that the only thing left is to sit in the dentists office and wait for my son to come out all cut up.  four wisdom teeth at once should keep him quiet for a while.  or moaning.

my consolation recital will be ricardo muti - of which i will be ill from heatstroke as well - performing 'overture to rosamunde' and 'symphony #4' both by schubert, hindemith's 'nobilissima visione', and strauss 'death and transfiguration.'  do not weep for me as i shall drink to you as well.  may i suggest taping mental martin's mouth?

[ahinton]

may i suggest taping mental martin's mouth?

Do you mean in the sense of recording what he might say?...

Best,

Alistair

[pianolist]

Ooh, Satan! Naughty girl! Tsk, tsk!

My commas were not meant to indicate parenthesis, but rather the succeeding item in the show. Camille Chevillard was one of the main French conductors around the time of the First War.

How much do you know, dear lady? Are you indeed who you say you are? Casadesus played in place of Ravel, for some of Ravel's more complicated rolls, even though Ravel himself was credited. So you laid your question especially well. That accounts for the pictures I chose, which were of Ravel's house in Montfort l'Amaury, and of the Place Casadesus in Montmartre, which I think may have been his house. Both pics were taken last week, 'cos my better half and I were in Paris.

We never beat the daylights out of each other, because we eat and socialise instead. That helps to prevent us behaving like chimps. Do you know that rhyme by Ogden Nash, written to go with the Carnival of Animals?

Some claim that pianists are human
  And quote the case of Mr. Truman.
Saint-Saëns upon the other hand
  Considered them a scurvy band.
"Ape-like, they are," he said, "and Simian,
  Instead of normal men and womian”.

My grandad was a dentist, and my dad had a small pipe organ in his bedroom. He told me that, when grandad had a particularly noisy patient, he would call upstairs, and my dad would play full swell to drown the screams. Good luck.

[pianistimo]

ouch.  playing organ whilst other people are in excruciating dental dilemmas?  these odd behaviors might land one on the isle of iona?

calling me a sexamillinial goddess is not far from ape behavior either.  but, i shall take it as a compliment.  being that the radio show this morning confirmed men's true intentions when calling a waitress 'sweetie.'  nothing but mere sugar to get a cup of coffee. 

really i had no idea that was cassedesus playing ravel on the program.  after you said that - i went back and barely made out the names.  so, who was 'pianolaing' for cassedesus playing ravel?  sorry if this is getting confusing. 

i'm so jealous now.  what with thal salsaing, and you in paris with your wife and partying with pianola people,  ramseytheii eating 3 course meals with eight friends, and now ahinton exhulting in an 80 minute performance heard by everyone on pianoforum but me.  my life was meant for sufferring.  i shall wilt on the side of the cabbage that the cold has now frosted.

[ahinton]

calling me a sexamillinial goddess is not far from ape behavior either.  but, i shall take it as a compliment.  being that the radio show this morning confirmed men's true intentions when calling a waitress 'sweetie.'  nothing but mere sugar to get a cup of coffee.

Spelling aside (which it rally is here), it occurs to me to say that, in case you hadn't appreciated the fact, "pianolist"'s appellation is indicative of two things - (a) that you have reached (or exceeded 6,000 posts to this forum and (b) that you accordingly qualify (in the eyes of some, presumably) for the "forum goddess status" referred to by someone else earlier in some thread or other. Nothing, therefore, to do with what you call "men's intentions" and still less anything to do with waitressing, coffee, sugar or such like...

i'm so jealous now.  what with thal salsaing, and you in paris with your wife and partying with pianola people,  ramseytheii eating 3 course meals with eight friends, and now ahinton exhulting in an 80 minute performance heard by everyone on pianoforum but me.  my life was meant for sufferring.  i shall wilt on the side of the cabbage that the cold has now frosted.

Jealousy is a terribly negative and destructive emotion. No one, as far as I am aware, is stopping you from "salsa-ing", if that's what you really want to do after all (although I had thought you wanted only to watch this bizarre activity rather than indulge therein), no one is stopping you form visiting Paris or sharing 3 course meals with any number of friends that you care to invite and no one has actually prevented you from attending Jonathan Powell's London performance (even though your personal family circumstances appear now to have conspired against this). So - please do not be jealous - of anyone here! - and just remember how certain young cabbages, when picked in season (especially if of the cavolo nero or other very dark green variety) and washed and cooked immédiatement can be exceedingly tasty if prepared properly...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

it is ornamental cabbage.  but, i am tempted to gnaw on it whilst languishing.  forget cooking.

[pianolist]

Ah, thank you, Alistair! I expect you find the use of English on Radio 4 to be as disappointing as the wife and I do these days. We both look forward to reading your programme notes on 11th November.

Casadesus and his friends played on reproducing pianos, which are fully automatic. All that is necessary is to switch on the electric suction pump, and the roll does the rest. To restore a reproducing piano to the condition of those at my friend Denis' house is very skilful work indeed, but to switch them on takes but the flick of a finger.

Pianolas, on the other hand, of the sort that we enthusiasts in southern England play, use rolls that were not recorded by anyone. Instead they were transcribed directly from the sheet music, so they have no built-in interpretation at all. Consequently, we create the dynamics with our feet, we control the ebb and flow of the tempo with our right hand, and we operate the piano pedals with our left hand.

We even have our own verse for the Carnival of Animals, with due apologies to Mr Nash.

Most piano teachers are agreed
  That presto is their favourite speed.
They whizz their budding Paderewskis
  Through scales in bass and treble clefskis,
And those that want their efforts encored
  Must hit the notes as fast as Concorde.
Well, I've got news for young musicians,
  Caught up in endless competitions:
However many scales you master,
  The Pianola plays them faster!

[pianistimo]

yes.  it's called cheating.

[thalbergmad]

Casadesus and his friends played on reproducing pianos 

Interesting, i did not know pianos reproduced.

Is that where the term "baby grand" comes from.

Thali

[ahinton]

Ah, thank you, Alistair! I expect you find the use of English on Radio 4 to be as disappointing as the wife and I do these days.

The use of English on Radio 3's enough to bother me, I fear (although this is as much about some of the content than it is about actual usage per se).

We both look forward to reading your programme notes on 11th November.

Dear me - I suppose that I'd better write some, then...

We even have our own verse for the Carnival of Animals, with due apologies to Mr Nash.

Most piano teachers are agreed
  That presto is their favourite speed.
They whizz their budding Paderewskis
  Through scales in bass and treble clefskis,
And those that want their efforts encored
  Must hit the notes as fast as Concorde.
Well, I've got news for young musicians,
  Caught up in endless competitions:
However many scales you master,
  The Pianola plays them faster!

That (in case anyone needs to be told here) is Mr Ogden Nash - the only legitimate excuse for spelling Ogdon as "Ogden", I hasten to add.

Whjile on the subject of excuses, may your versification above act as one for me to make an appeal to you to give us "RAKHMANINOV" in your own inimitable and unforgettable verse, for the benefit of all those forum members who have yet to have the pleasure of encountering it?! Many thanks in advance!

Best,

Alistair

[pianolist]

Interesting, i did not know pianos reproduced.

Is that where the term "baby grand" comes from.

Thali

Good point! Whereas Paderewski, Rachmaninov and other famous pianists recorded for reproducing pianos, Reger, Hollins, Wolstenholme and their pipe-orientated brethren played on reproducing organs. I don't think we should pursue this thought too far.

[pianolist]

You and I should go on stage as a double act!

This verse is so old that Rachmaninov decided to alter the spelling of his name in the meantime. I wrote it in 1973, for the first Purcell Room concert I ever presented, which was entitled "Mr Rachmaninov Plays for You". It has absolutely nothing to do with Polish Tramps and so is clearly ideal for this thread.


OH, MY GAWD!

Rachmaninov, a serious child,
  By nature hardly ever smiled.
He couldn't bear to play with toys
  Like other little girls and boys,
But, wracked by deep, consuming gloom,
  He sat alone, predicting doom.
In later life, this dismal manner
  Pervaded all his works for pianner.
Said he, "I think there's nothing finer
  Than making music in the minor,
But when I play a major phrase,
  It puts me off my food for days."
In Summer 1892
  He visited Tchaikovsky, who
Induced him, for a five-pound wager,
  To write a piece in C Sharp Major:
A simple prelude, diatonic,
  Avoiding canons, enharmonic
Modulations, German sixths,
  And other contrapuntal tricksths.
Rachmaninov set straight to work
  Upon the Prelude, like a Turk,
But writing just the first two bars
  Took hars and hars and hars and hars.
"Alas," he cried, "it isn't funny,
  I'm not concerned about the money;
I'd give up all the tea in China
  To write this bugger in the minor!"
But still he laboured, through the summer,
  With fingers growing ever number,
Abandoning all sense of keys
  In murky, sharp-infested Cs.
His friend, Tchaikovsky, in the autumn,
  Gave the piece a long post-mortem,
Saying, "Sergei, what the hell, you'd
  Better scrap this blasted Prelude.
Write it, damn you, in the minor,
  Before you give yourself angina."
Relieved, Rachmaninov concurred,
  And flattened every major third,
Completing, to the world's dismay,
  The horrid piece we know today.
Next time, therefore, your Auntie Maud
  Proclaims Rachmaninov a fraud,
Since she herself prefers the major,
  Then use this method to assuage her:
Treat her to a night in town,
  And tell her, as she simmers down,
Rachmaninov's immortal soul
  Is like a hidden seam of coal,
Explaining, as you wine and dine her,
  To bring it out, it needs the minor!

© Rex Lawson 1973

[pianistimo]

dear pianolist,
you should publish it, if you haven't already!  and, write more on other composers.  you have the knack.  very interesting about the reproducing organs, too.  perhaps their offspring would be called barrel organs?

[ahinton]

very interesting about the reproducing organs, too.  perhaps their offspring would be called barrel organs?

Nice thought, but no; they're called chamber organs.

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

You and I should go on stage as a double act!

If we did, it would have to be me merely introducing you and you playing the pianola!

This verse is so old that Rachmaninov decided to alter the spelling of his name in the meantime. I wrote it in 1973, for the first Purcell Room concert I ever presented, which was entitled "Mr Rachmaninov Plays for You".

I've known this verse for years but had no idea that you'd written this to mark the composer's centenary!

Best,

Alistair