Salsa

[thalbergmad]

Me is going to a Salsa singles night, as me has been advised that there will be lots of fit girls there.

Is there any Salsa experts here?

Is there a lot of contact?

Whayhayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Thali

[Kassaa]

Me is going to a Salsa singles night, as me has been advised that there will be lots of fit girls there.

Is there any Salsa experts here?

Is there a lot of contact?

Whayhayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Thali

Are you sure it's not forbidden by the Quran?

[thalbergmad]

Pah, i will only dance with girls if they are wearing the veil.

Mohammed Thali

[ahinton]

Are you sure it's not forbidden by the Quran?

Never mind that - is it not surely advisable that Thal stays at home and makes a salsa in his kitchen rather than risking breaking his back or other parts of his anatomy messing around with the dance definition of that term? (the answer to this is for Thal himself to provide, of course but, since dance is something against the multiple risks of indulgence in which a comprehensive medical insurance policy is strongly advised, one cannot help but issue a warning...)

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

i am so jealous.  i do have insurance, youknow.  but, unfortunately,  i can no longer hold my leg up and out.  it will not defy gravity any more.  perhaps if it was held in place?
LOVE ballroom dancing.  thal, you are not far from from finding your dream love.  but, as i said, she will yawn when you play the piano.  it's ok though. women can be like cats and sort of curl up and read a book nearby.  you certainly won't be fighting over the piano. 

take my advice and test out various colognes to see which ones repel and which ones connect.  nothing like a good cologne.  and don't start out with a lot of chest exposure.  keep working out and gradually work the buttons down.  too much on the first day turns women completely off.

antonio banderas is starring in 'take the lead' (which is about teaching rappers to ballroom dance).  a must see!

[thalbergmad]

All very interesting, but nobody has actually told me anything about the dance.

Mohammed Thali

[ahinton]

i am so jealous.  i do have insurance, youknow.  but, unfortunately,  i can no longer hold my leg up and out.  it will not defy gravity any more.  perhaps if it was held in place?
LOVE ballroom dancing.  thal, you are not far from from finding your dream love.  but, as i said, she will yawn when you play the piano.  it's ok though. women can be like cats and sort of curl up and read a book nearby.  you certainly won't be fighting over the piano. 

take my advice and test out various colognes to see which ones repel and which ones connect.  nothing like a good cologne.  and don't start out with a lot of chest exposure.  keep working out and gradually work the buttons down.  too much on the first day turns women completely off.

antonio banderas is starring in 'take the lead' (which is about teaching rappers to ballroom dance).  a must see!

Well - best of luck to you and to Thal here - but I have to say that, for me, the farther I can be from anything to do with dance, the closer I get to sanity (although I'd be the first to admit that that's still probably not at all close). When I was young (I can still almost remember that), I spent time (sounds like a prison sentence put like that - and in one sense perhaps it felt abit like that too) playing piano for dance classes (lost of musicians do this in their young days, I guess, although maybe not so many composers do it). Interesting as a lot of the work seemed to be from a purely technical standpoint, I simply could not bring myself to connect to what it was that these people were so hell-bent on doing (my shortcomings - not theirs, as I try to understand). I once said (in a break) to one of the dance students that I wondered why they even needed me to be there - whereupon I was rounded on by a whole group of them and told that, were I to leave, a large part of their motivation would vanish. I think that they'd have locked the door to the studio if I'd tried to do that. Thal might be insanely jealous of this situation (i.e. being locked in a studio by and with a group of young female dancers), but all I could think of at the time was that I still didn't really understand how or why my cavortings at the piano (I am not a pianist as such) seemed to feel so important to them. So I just tried to take their word and accept it. I've never gotten my head around the entire dance thing since. Rhythm, for me, is vital, of course, but it exists in my head, goes onto paper and hopefully ends up in a musical performance; with the best will in the world, the rest (dance-wise) remains a foreign language to me. Ah, well...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

we will expect to see you at the copacabana soon.  www.latindance.com  has videos, outfits, etc. 

[ahinton]

we will expect to see you at the copacabana soon.

Who's "we" and who's "you" here? Or shouldn't I ask?

www.latindance.com has videos, outfits, etc.

So it may - but for whom or what? (other than the financial benefit of whoever happens to run that site, presumably)...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

personally, i'd like to see both of you dressed to the nines.  you can still sit at the piano, ahinton, if you must.  twud be interesting to see a woman's leg wrapped around your piano leg.

latindance has very short video clips.  something about 'quick-quick-slow' and then it stopped.  on to the next clip.  these clips build on each other and you have to wait for a few seconds to see the next one (on the same clip).

ok.  thal, as i see it - just don't stop moving.  back to anthonio banderas. 

thal - i signed in antonio banderas guest book and e-mailed him your question.  how to prepare for salsa dancing and how to loosen up the body.  never mentioned names, of course, but i just asked the question.  perhaps marbles in your shorts?

ps that was not recommended - but am waiting for a reply from him.  this could take a few weeks.

[ahinton]

personally, i'd like to see both of you dressed to the nines.

You can see Thal dressed in whatever way he may permit you to do, but the "nines" (how well you pick up these quaint English expressions!) is something up to which if your ever see me dressed it most certainly won't be on anything remotely resembling a dance floor...

you can still sit at the piano, ahinton, if you must.

No, indeed I must not; that was all in the way distant past; my (non)-piano-playing days were over long ago.

twud be interesting to see a woman's leg wrapped around your piano leg.

As I implied in the sense of what I wrote immediately above, can't we leave "piano" out of this?(!)...

ok.  thal, as i see it - just don't stop moving.  back to anthonio banderas...perhaps marbles in your shorts?

1. Why might you suppose that there aren't any there already?
2. Does this not suggest a whole new (and perhaps even more worrying) meaning to the expresssion "losing one's marbles"?

am waiting for a reply from him.  this could take a few weeks.

I have a strange premonitory feeling that you might wll get one from Thal well before this...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

'ever see you dressed?'  what did you think, ahinton?  i was coming over to see you undressed.  of course, that would keep the interest going in an 80 minute piece.  but, of course, i couldn't look.  not with thal distracting me with slight salsa moves every now and then.  the only thing more distracting than that was henrah's invitation to look at his fazioli.

please don't take any offense.  for all i know - you may be a chippendale model on the side.

[ahinton]

'ever see you dressed?'  what did you think, ahinton?  i was coming over to see you undressed.

...and now, apparently, you are going to have to be disappointed...

of course, that would keep the interest going in an 80 minute piece.

The composer might reasonably hope that the music and its performance alone would do this...

but, of course, i couldn't look.

...thereby surely defeating the entire object of the exercise...

not with thal distracting me with slight salsa moves every now and then.

But he might be too taken up with listening to the music to do that...

the only thing more distracting than that was henrah's invitation to look at his fazioli.

You say that with evident authority, but do you know how long it is?

please don't take any offense.

I wouldn't dream of it!

for all i know - you may be a chippendale model on the side.

On which side? No one has ever suggested that I might look like a piece of fine furniture before, anyway. I do live near a town called Chippenham, though...

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

Looking at some of those video clips, the dance looks like a good excuse for a grope.

My mate tells me the place we are going to is almost wall to wall crumpet.

If Allah wills it, I will get a good looker, but i usually get the tractor.

Thali

[ahinton]

Looking at some of those video clips, the dance looks like a good excuse for a grope.

My mate tells me the place we are going to is almost wall to wall crumpet.

If Allah wills it, I will get a good looker, but i usually get the tractor.

Thali

You mean that the mountain will come to Mohammed, yes?...

Best,

Al non Q'aeda

P.S. I sincerely hope that you don't expect veils to be handed out free (or indeed at all) to any women without them at Jonathan Powell's recital...

[pianistimo]

wall to wall crumpet?  what does that mean?

ahinton, you become more charming every day.  i had no idea you would be so persistent about hearing this evidently long piece.  what makes you so sure you can sustain people's interest throughout?  there must be some things in this piece that are quite unrepetitive?

[thalbergmad]

P.S. I sincerely hope that you don't expect veils to be handed out free (or indeed at all) to any women without them at Jonathan Powell's recital...

Indeed not, but it would be nice if there was somewhere for me to park my camel.

Thali

[pianistimo]

so, tell us how it went!

because of you - i sat down next to my husband watching football and said 'we should take a dance class together.'  all i got was, 'i don't like to dance.'  but, if he thought he could be successful at it - i think he would.  he is afraid of failure.  but, what woman in her right mind would care if a man was dancing perfect or not.  look at some of these amateur dance competitions.  the woman is the one leading the man around and telling him his next move.

[zheer]

Indeed not, but it would be nice if there was somewhere for me to park my camel.

Thali

  Make the best of it thal, do it for the camel.

  Ok some good advice, remember that the salsa club will be very dark and usually they will have red green yellow blue spot lights on dancers, therefore if you wont to stand out, wear a white top and dark trousers,not the other way round. Black shoes black sockes, the less jewellery the better. Must have a clean shave pluz good after-save, avoid all girls under the age of 19, never stand in the corner for too long always look happy and dance a little to the music.
    The best place to try you luck with the ladyeez is at the bar , ladyeez usually arrive with other ladyeez, offer them a drink or 2 never smoke in the club when chating to a girl. make polite conversation with a number of ladyeez bring your friend into the conversation,avoid talking about work,let them talk about themselves,ie whats your name,where are you from.
   Time for the kill, compliment her say how great she looks and if she is a good salsa dancer, ask her to teach you some basic moves on the dance floor,and away you go, remember the night is young so relax and have fun. (switch the mobile off)
   Remember it's salsa not judo.
 

[thalbergmad]

Sounds like you are talking from experience you smooth mover

The beard is coming off tonight and i am gonna get some kwality smellies.

However, i will probably not start until the new year. In my experience, it is not a good idea to get a girlfriend at this time of year, coz you might have to buy her something for Christmas.

Best to start relationships in January and end them in December. That way you can have almost a whole year of fun without too much expense.

I is gonna practise some moves (dancing and pulling).

How can the girlz resist a charming looker like me??

Thanks for the advice.

Thali

[zheer]

I is gonna practise some moves (dancing and pulling).

How can the girlz resist a charming looker like me??

  Good idea find a salsa book or DVD and some latino music, 2 things you need to learn is how to dance alone without getting tyred,basically sllightly moving to the beat and secondly how to dance with a partner. However dont forget the " can you teach me some basic salsa" line, if that does'nt work then " can i teach you some basic salsa" line   .
   Ok facts to be aware of, women do'nt approch men unless you are Antonio Banderas, in-fact if the Ladyeeez see a group of large men walk in together, they are going to keep well away, on the other hand 2-3 men pluz a women walk in together thats perfect.
  Never act hard,never ask a male friend for a dance and totally avoid geting drunk out of you mind, however if you dont manage to pull a single lady that night, drink a few hundred bottles of alcahol.
 

[thalbergmad]

Dat is xcellent advice.

i is just a little worried that if it is too dark, i might pull a mingah.

Best to take a flashlight.

respect for your help.

Thali

[ahinton]

ahinton, you become more charming every day.  i had no idea you would be so persistent about hearing this evidently long piece.  what makes you so sure you can sustain people's interest throughout?  there must be some things in this piece that are quite unrepetitive?

I make no claim for it (or for anything else that i have written); I merely hope that it will sustaing the listeners' interest and, at the same time, have every possible advance confidence in Mr Powell's forthcoming performance that it will do so.

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

Indeed not, but it would be nice if there was somewhere for me to park my camel.

Thali

I'm not sure about camel parking facilities in the vicinity of The Warehouse (although I would very much doubt that there will be any, due to Health and Safety and other environmental considerations), but have you thought about how much Red Ken Livingstone's metropolitan "administration" will sting you for congestion charge? Really, Thal - I'd be incined to arrive there by taxi or tube like almost everyone else if I were you...

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

so, tell us how it went!

because of you - i sat down next to my husband watching football and said 'we should take a dance class together.'  all i got was, 'i don't like to dance.'  but, if he thought he could be successful at it - i think he would.  he is afraid of failure.  but, what woman in her right mind would care if a man was dancing perfect or not.  look at some of these amateur dance competitions.  the woman is the one leading the man around and telling him his next move.

Unlike (what you tell us here about) your husband, I have no fear of failure on the dance floor, for I know that I could guarantee it every time, were it not for the fact that wild horses - or even Thal's alleged camel - would not succeed in dragging me onto one in the first place under any circumstances, unless an extremely large sum of money in cash were involved. I know that some people enjoy dancing and that others have allowed themselves to be led to believe that they do or can enjoy it, but I'm just not one of either; as I mentioned, the whole thing is a foreign language to me, for all that I can to some extent appreciate, albeit from a very detached distance, the technical prowess of some people that are good at it.

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

Remember it's salsa not judo.

Ah - so there's a difference. You learn something useful and new every day here...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

i almost died laughing from zheer's explaination of the spotlights and not to wear white pants and a black shirt.  the smoking goes without saying, but i never really thought about what you might or might not have to say.  i thought people that like to dance enjoyed just being grabbed onto the dance floor.  at least, once you find a partner - then you can pretty much just pull them around.  if i was to approach ahinton, i'd compliment him and start talking - and sneakily reach out and grab his wrist.  then, before he knew it - he would be camelling backwards.  in swimming, they teach you this lifesaving move - where you suddendly switch the person to their back and grab them around the neck with your elbow.    dragging them to safety without them pulling you down. 

now, dancing is light, like this too.  i think the trick is to make men realize how light the moves are.  it's like a solar plexus type of thing, right?!  you just sort of push and pull from a tight little circle. 

[pianistimo]

www.salsaville.com

[zheer]

www.salsaville.com

  Fab.

  Tricks of the trade Thalbi, the Mr cool test.

  1- Mr cool does everything in slow motion,he walks and talks slow (not too slow)

  2- Mr cool never uses fifty or twenty pence coins to pay for drinks, he pulls out a fifty pound note,he doesnt let the others know it's his only fifty pound note.

  3- Mr cool does'nt shout he speeks gently into the ladyeez ear.

 4- Mr cool, gives his best friend money to buy the drink if he is talking to his lady friend.

 5 -  Mr cool does'nt show his walet,money just appears in his hand.He uses his index and third finger only to hold money.

 6 - Mr cool makes everyone laugh.

  7- Mr cool does'nt push anyone at the bar,he expects to be served at a glance.

 8 - Mr cool arrives late-ish to the club, and gets the taxi home with a women.

   ciao for know. 

[ahinton]

if i was to approach ahinton, i'd compliment him and start talking - and sneakily reach out and grab his wrist.  then, before he knew it - he would be camelling backwards.

I must admit to never having travelled backwards on a camel; sounds intriguing, if a little dangerous...

now, dancing is light, like this too.  i think the trick is to make men realize how light the moves are.  it's like a solar plexus type of thing, right?!  you just sort of push and pull from a tight little circle.

That last bit sounds far more like party politics to me...

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

  Fab.

  Tricks of the trade Thalbi, the Mr cool test.

  1- Mr cool does everything in slow motion,he walks and talks slow (not too slow)

  2- Mr cool never uses fifty or twenty pence coins to pay for drinks, he pulls out a fifty pound note,he doesnt let the others know it's his only fifty pound note.

  3- Mr cool does'nt shout he speeks gently into the ladyeez ear.

 4- Mr cool, gives his best friend money to buy the drink if he is talking to his lady friend.

 5 -  Mr cool does'nt show his walet,money just appears in his hand.He uses his index and third finger only to hold money.

 6 - Mr cool makes everyone laugh.

  7- Mr cool does'nt push anyone at the bar,he expects to be served at a glance.

 8 - Mr cool arrives late-ish to the club, and gets the taxi home with a women.

   ciao for know. 

Warning to Mr Thal:

1. Mr Cool might never get to the venue at all if he moves too slowly and might bore the pants off bartenders (never mind women) if he talks too slowly (oh, and, by the way, Mr Cool never includes "sex on the beach" in his first drinks order, because that's just SO unsubtly 80s)
2. Mr Cool might either (a) be upstaged by a bartender who holds his fifty pound note up to the light to see if it's a forgery (quite a few UK establishments refuse even to accept these notes at all nowadays, just as they've been refusing to accept any Scottish banknotes for some time) or (b) be frowned upon if he proffers cash of any kind rather than a fancy "millionaires-only" charge card
3. OK as is, apart from the SDC-style speling
4. Mr Cool makes certain that his best friend doesn't even accompany him to the venue (now, what's that old cliché? - ah, yes - "a friend in need is a pest")
5. see 2(b) above
6. Mr Cool mustn't make everyone laugh too much, otherwise Mr Cool will not be taken sufficiently seriously by the potential lady/ies of his choice
7. Mr Cool doesn't even go to the bar - the head bartender comes to him
8. Mr Cool shouldn't arrive TOO late, otherwise he may end up as the one driving the taxi.

Confused, Thal? Fear not. "You have two options" (as the automated telephone operator is so frequently fond of telling us all) - either (a) give up all ideas of salsa clubbing and concentrate instead on the somewhat less physically dangerous and far less expensive practice of piano practice or (b) see how you get on at the Lerwick salsa club (meets every second Sunday in the month, except when wet, in the presbyterian kirk hall immediately after evening service at the kirk itself) when you get to the Shetlands and let us all know the result...

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

if i was to approach ahinton, i'd compliment him and start talking - and sneakily reach out and grab his wrist.  then, before he knew it - he would be camelling backwards.  in swimming, they teach you this lifesaving move - where you suddendly switch the person to their back and grab them around the neck with your elbow.    dragging them to safety without them pulling you down.

Another thought occurs to me here; I wonder why "pianistimo" (a) thinks that, were she to reach out and grab my wrist, some kind of life-saving gesture would consequently be necessary and (b) whether salsa dancing is so physically risky that a sound knowledge of life saving moves is a must for participants. No doubt she will tell us. In the meantime, I'll happily leave the limb-snapping spine-crunching cavortings to the more intrepid. The daughter of a singer I know once announced that she was about to start tango classes, whereupon her apparently level-headed brother calmly replied "have you taken out adequate medical insurance cover?"

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

 i've never in my life salsad.  just watched.  but, i used to do a lot of other types of  dancing.  and, line dancing.  i think it's all confidence based.  if you know a few steps then you start repeating them and adding to them.  but, if you don't know any - you're kinda stuck.  that's why lessons are imperative.

[ahinton]

i've never in my life salsad.  just watched.

Ah - I'd not realised that. Wise lady! The safest way, methinks. I must admit that I couldn't even bring myself to share your interest in watching, but that's another matter, of course.

but, i used to do a lot of other types of  dancing.  and, line dancing.  i think it's all confidence based.  if you know a few steps then you start repeating them and adding to them.

I'll take your word for that.

but, if you don't know any - you're kinda stuck.  that's why lessons are imperative.

Indeed so - provided, of course, that one wants to have a go at it in the first place; I get more than enough exercise just transferring rhythms (etc.) from my head to paper...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

at least you 'feel the beat.'  i usually watch ballroom dancing competitions on tv.  that's about the closest i've come.  had to laugh at the scottish presbyterian church you recommended to thal - as one nearby here, has a dance every saturday night.  there 10 women to 1 man.  and, the men all seem very happy about that.  the women are all very purposeful - as i sometimes walk by and just peek around the corner.  i think the joy is partly dressing up - as women usually need a reason to get dressed up and go somewhere other than the grocery store.

now, if we had a salsa club nearby with better odds - and cuter guys.  sort of antonio banderas look-alikes - i might go and sit down and watch for a couple of hours.  ps i tried not to think too much about that statement 'when it's wet every other week.'  i shall pursue that one no farther.  although, i wondered if you meant the church or the floor.

i really wish i could get my husband to dance.  i think it would defeat the purpose of dancing to dance with antonio banderas look-alikes.  besides - what if i really start dancing well and have to enter dance competitions, etc. and people start asking - 'are you a couple?'  and, then i'll have to explain we just dance together.  it's sort of like making music.  'oh, you make music together?'  that one is easily explained because my husband and i do that all the time.

[ahinton]

at least you 'feel the beat.'

In the "inner-ear" sense, yes - in other words, mentally.

i usually watch ballroom dancing competitions on tv.  that's about the closest i've come.

There's another rash of those kind of televisin programmes over here at the moment; quite why ballroom dancing of various kinds repeatedly finds itself the centre of spectator-sporty televisual attention in such large quantities is entirely beyond me.

ps i tried not to think too much about that statement 'when it's wet every other week.'  i shall pursue that one no farther.  although, i wondered if you meant the church or the floor.

Neither - not literally; in the context in which I referred to this, it was a mere figure of speech intended to indicate infrequency of occurrence.

i really wish i could get my husband to dance.  i think it would defeat the purpose of dancing to dance with antonio banderas look-alikes.  besides - what if i really start dancing well and have to enter dance competitions, etc. and people start asking - 'are you a couple?'  and, then i'll have to explain we just dance together.  it's sort of like making music.  'oh, you make music together?'  that one is easily explained because my husband and i do that all the time.

Perhaps your husband has about as much motivation to do that kind of thing as I have. You seem to be getting quite a thing about Sr Banderos. You don't, by the way, "have to" enter competitions for anything just because you happen to get good at it!

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

i thought that was the sole reason for attempting the feat.  to be good enough to enter a competition and place (abeit 54th) or something.  how would you know how good you were?

[ahinton]

i thought that was the sole reason for attempting the feat.  to be good enough to enter a competition and place (abeit 54th) or something.  how would you know how good you were?

As you know, I'm the last person on earth to pretend to be any kind of authority on dance of any kind, but I had thought that the competitive aspect of this was of no more intrinsic importance than that of piano playing...

Ah, well...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

well, in matters of an overtly sexual nature - one wants to know how good they are in relation to 'the hottie' over there. 

[ahinton]

well, in matters of an overtly sexual nature - one wants to know how good they are in relation to 'the hottie' over there. 

Not at all sure who you're replying to here...

Best,

Alistair