sexual dysfunction

[penguinlover]

Sounds exciting.  I think mandrakes are plants, maybe a food stuff.  I really don't think they are animals.  To get you in the mood.  Anyway, I like your ideal bedroom.  I hate cords too, and antennas, and things that make places messy.  In today's world, we have so many cords and remotes etc. one can go a bit crazy.  No satin sheets.  Those things are awful. They slip around, you can't even make the bed.  Flannel sheets are much better.  Really, they are softer too.  Satin sheets are cold.
    Oh we forgot, no TV!  That wouldn't be a great addition would it.  I don't think our dining room table is sturdy enough for extracirricular activity.  It barely holds the plates.  Our dining room is out in the middle of the house anyway.  I think you should work on your basement.  I would love to have a basement.  In California, no one has basements.  Maybe that's becuase we have earthquakes.  Would hate to be trapped in the basement during one of those.  OUr ground is too hard to dig one too.  I live close to where you used to live pianistimo, so you know how the ground is out here. 
    I should probably quit, the guys are probably bored to tears!

[elspeth]

Mandrake is related to belladonna, although not poisonous but still pretty nasty in large doses (it's an emetic). There are loads of superstitions about it, like the one about it screaming when it's dug up, and if you hear it scream you'll die... and it's supposed to flourish beneath gallows. Sometimes it worries me that I know these things...

Hurrah for flannel sheets though! I'm just considering buying a set, they're lovely. Just can't find any designs I like at the moment. And of course good ones are so expensive...

[penguinlover]

I've only heard of mandrakes mentioned in the Old Testament.   So they are plants.  Are they flowers?  Do they smell?  Do you eat them, make tea from them?  What do they have to do with sex?

[elspeth]

They do have flowers - white ones, I think - but I couldn't tell you if they smell... Not sure how you prepare them either, but it's the root that's the powerful bit rather than the leaves or flowers. No idea what it's got to do with sex, I only know the bits of legend connected with death, as above! Maybe folk had different tastes in the old testament - I don't know that I'd consider it an aphrodisiac, I'd be more inclined to wonder why he wanted me dead and probably get a bit offended...

[pianowolfi]

I associate mandrakes with witches. Perhaps they are said to be aphrodisiacs?

[pianistimo]

thanks, pianowolfi.  all we need is witches in the bedroom.  somehow you and thal really do know how to make things funny.

last night i watched a show with this lady chef who was teaching a class on aphrodesiac cooking.  none of the things there really appealed to me majorly either (excepting the dessert).  let me think,  they made this saffron champagne?  it looked like pee.  you put this saffron dust in the bottom of the champagne glass and then filled it up and it turned yellow.  everyone was raving about it - so maybe it tastes better than it looks. 

then, they started out with some nuts.  and the lady kept going on about how men need protein to keep going and how important protein was.  and then, occasional jabs about hot nuts - so then they poured honey over the nuts and then jalapeno peppers (chopped), and then heated them.  i can't imagine how that tasted.  supposedly jalapeno peppers have some kind of aphrodesiac affect, too.  i never heard that one. 

i can't remember the main dish.  oh,  now i remember.  it wasn't a main dish - but they were just making finger-food  because finger food is supposed to be more aphrodisiacal.  so - they used an artichoke (steamed?) and then put somekind of special sauce with it and something else.

the dessert was brie, strawberries, and some kind of chocolate sauce type  mixture drizzled over the top.  some other foods that are supposedly aphrodesiac are vanilla and licorice.  somehow whipped cream has got to be in there somewhere.  and, fruit of any sort.

[pianolist]

the dessert was brie, strawberries, and some kind of chocolate sauce type mixture drizzled over the top. some other foods that are supposedly aphrodesiac are vanilla and licorice. somehow whipped cream has got to be in there somewhere. and, fruit of any sort.

I should think most chaps would rather rub these in than eat them!

[pianowolfi]

thanks, pianowolfi.  all we need is witches in the bedroom.  somehow you and thal really do know how to make things funny.

Yes. Life size witches who laugh meanly when you press a button and spread red light out of their eyes. As i have seen them in the house of one of my little students before Halloween

supposedly jalapeno peppers have some kind of aphrodesiac affect, too.  i never heard that one. 

make sure you wash your hands after you touched these and before you get down to business. 

[ahinton]

No one has yet mentioned the possible rôle of vegemite in this context (I'd personally hazard a guess that it has the capability to engender all manner of dysfunctionality besides just the sexual variety, but it may be that an Australian on this forum will express disagreement with my view)...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

dear pianowolfi,  get down to what business?  i'm a bit confused.  first we are supposed to 'experiment'  - but there's no really comfortable place to cook and then suddenly and spontaneously have sex.  say, you eat the jalapeno and you start sweating and acting like your hot - but what if you aren't and you're faking it?  how would anyone know.  then, you go and wash your hands - and the person is left cold in the kitchen.  you come back and a stainless steel bowl is now out on the counter.  the refrigerator door get's pulled open.  drawers are pulled out.  things get experiented with.  you become a sort of 'taste tester' to see what aphrodisiacal things turn you on.  obviously the jalapeno peppers sort of worked - but we must find out by hand feeding the person - which things work the best.  what if something works really well - and the person suddenly says 'let's do it.'  then, where are you going to go?  under the table.  well, apparently thal has this one figured out.  for the less coordinated among us - i am wondering exactly how one plays out.  say, you actually meet under the table - wouldn't the amount of legs get confusing? 

vegemite?  yes. that could be a turn off.

interestingly, at the back of popular science - there are these videos offerred  with titles such as 'really hot sex' or whatever - that seem to me to belong in the back of 'cosmo' magazine or something.  maybe these scientific magazines are on to something.  perhaps they were selling also pheromones. 

all i can say - is that i think either people are in the mood or not and that women in particular have to have things 'just right.'  perhaps some men, too.  i mean, you don't suddenly get in the mood in a matter of seconds unless it is 'that time of the month'  or the moon is exactly right (doing it's electromagnetic thing).  perhaps that sound's witchy - but i always feel hotter under a full moon.  i think there's something to it.  noone bothers with the basic elemental things  - like - has your partner taken a shower?  is the bed lumpy with clothes and possible lego blocks in it?  can you actually make your way to the bed without tripping?  are the lights on?  are the curtains open?  women have a larger checklist than men. 

[elspeth]

I was thinking about this thread and realised I had the following file in my mp3 collection... This always makes me laugh, and is even relevant, in a way! I can supply sheet music on request.... Hurrah for Victoria Wood!

https://www.box.net/public/sqxa29pzut

[ahinton]

women have a larger checklist than men. 

I daresay that Thal prefers women with larger checklists (although no doubt he will correct me if my assumption - unlike the checklists - is false)...

Best,

Alsitair

[penguinlover]

I told pianistimo earlier that she would miss her children when they grew up.  I think I just changed my mind!  Boy, do I need to vent.  I just almost finished cleaning my son's bedroom.  He is coming home for Thanksgiving, and I thought I would clean his room to welcome him.  Oh, the things I found (although nothing living, I am grateful for that!)  Why do guys live like that?  I haven't seen his dorm room since he went to college, I do hope it is better that his room at home.  I think they are inspected by the health department on a regular basis, so that is a good thing.

I want to see him, but I know he will have to live in that room again.  That CLEAN room I might add.  I know it won't be clean when he leaves.  Maybe I won't let him leave until it is clean.  Oh well, I am just venting I know.  Have a happy thanksgiving for those of you in the US. 

[pianistimo]

i hear you.  i've been cleaning, too.  don't want people thinking that i normally stuff papers here and there and everywhere. 

[ahinton]

i hear you.  i've been cleaning, too.  don't want people thinking that i normally stuff papers here and there and everywhere. 

What has cleaning and stuffing papers here, there and everywhere (whether or not you actually do this) got to do with sexual dysfunction? Just curious...

Bst,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

alistair,

i'll give you a hint.  never trust a woman who has a madhouse of papers in her purse.  i took them out because we were going out to a concert saturday night - and i couldn't find a place to stuff them.  receipts, discount coupons, etc. - so i stuffed them into a crystal bowl that i keep in my hutch.  now, tonight i have guests coming over and i just thought about it.  they'll be walking right by and wondering - what kind of a crazy woman lives here.  not to mention - i can never find papers until filing through an entire pile.  help.  someone get me one of those spear things - you just stab them with -  that keeps them in one place. 

[ahinton]

alistair,

i'll give you a hint.

I seem already to have one thrust upon me...

never trust a woman who has a madhouse of papers in her purse.

Don't worry; I wasn't about to.

I still don't get what this can possibly have to do with sexual dysfunction...

Best,

Alistair

[penguinlover]

Ahinton,
   To tell you the truth, it has nothing with sexual disfunction, just disfunction in general.  Maybe it's disorganization.  If we let it go on long enough, it will turn in to sexual disfunction.  Because, you know, it all begins in a woman's mind.  If our mind is on the pile of papers stuffed who knows where, how can it be on sexual matters?  All we think about if get it over so we can go take care of the pile.  And why is it that the one paper you need is the one you can't find?  Probably because it is in the hutch, bookshelves, etc. with all the other piles.  At least I know it is not in the piano bench.  I keep that cleaned out!

[pianistimo]

dysfunction in general.  hmmm.  you're probably right.  for instance, how can i go from 7-9 pm discussing a three minute song with another kindergarten mom.  this is alarming.  bells are going off in my head.  you're not normal anymore - (speaking to myself).  it's such an all encompassing thing now - playing for this kindergarten musical.  i feel somehow that i must prove my worth on the tune 'jack and jill' - and play it with a sort of smooth jazz - so that the kids will get comfotable and be able to sing their 'fiesta song' - with the little bits of spanish (which i can't even pronounce right).  at least the lady that came tonight speaks spanish.  help!  i'm going down the drain of anonymity.  this will be my last shining moment of fame - unless - unless the musical is a complete flop.  i never came up with the idea of creating a musical 'from scratch.'  that was someone else's hairbrained idea.  i kind of like it though.  it has given me several good hours on finale 2007 thanks to pianowolfi.  i now know,a lso how to make a few transitions from one nursery rhyme to the other.  i need some good seventh chords though. 

[penguinlover]

You really know you are disfunctional when you begin to sing Dr. Seuss' ABC book (words from memory, melody made up), or chanting the Foot Book as you are waiting in the grocery line.  It's a bit embarassing too.  At least a kindergarten play has some meaning to it, have fun! 

[pianowolfi]

it has given me several good hours on finale 2007 thanks to pianowolfi. 

OHH, have you got the full version now? How is it? I have only finale 2005. Is 2007 worth to upgrade with?

[pianistimo]

oh yes!  definately!  i am having so much fun!  and they even give user support to people trying it out.  i am soooo thankful for that tip, pianowolfi - to try finale.  i am in the process of creating a warm up on the song twinkle, twinkle - that modulates from key to key for a warm-up for the kindergarteners.  they can sing ABC's and baa baa black sheep - to the same song - and probably already know the words. 

and,i've been putting things in singable ranges.  i don't know why some songbooks put the songs out of range - for high soprano.

[elspeth]

i don't know why some songbooks put the songs out of range - for high soprano.

Publishers are mean, essentially. Singable ranges for most people = lower keys = more ledger lines = more ink = more money to produce, and also = harder-looking music to the layman = less sales. If you look at practically any published popular song you'll find it's in a key that happens to make the music fit nicely in the middle of the stave, regardless of the key it was actually written in. My favourite example is 'Living on a Prayer', which if you believe the published sheet music goes up to a high C. Don't think Jon Bon Jovi sang it up there, somehow...

[ahinton]

We've evidently come a long way from sexual dysfunction now, have we not?! - for we seem to have gravitated towards high sopranos, which I have to confess is a subject that I find rather more interesting. Richard Strauss is well known as having had what has often been described as a kind of love affair with the soprano voice. He was a master of vocal writing, which I most certainly am not - and he wrote plenty of songs and a good many stage works, many of which feature splendid writing for sopranos. I have written very little vocal music and no stage works, but almost everything I have done vocally calls for a high soprano. Several people mentioned that I must have some kind of obsession with the high soprano when they realised that my string quintet features a big part for one in its finale (and I mean big - that finale alone occupies 125 minutes); the suspicion seems to have been clinched on discovery that my violin concerto is interrupted almost a third of the way through its course by a high soprano who stops the piece in its tracks and turns the entire work into something else - a duet concerto. What goes around comes around, so they say - and it is therefore perhaps not such a surprise that the one high soprano who has sung most of my vocal work (except the violin concerto, which has yet to be done) began her professional life as - a violinist...

Back to dysfunction, anyone? - or shall we stay with those high sopranos?...

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

High sopranos, don't you just love them.

I am a massive fan of Yma Sumac. Her high note is almost like a dog whistle.

5 octave range is pretty amazing as well.

What a gal.

Thal