Parents don't like it

[iduunohow2play]

I've just relized that my parents don't like how i play piano.  It was when I had to buy an electronic piano w/ headphones just to be able to practice on my own without my parents telling me to please everytime i practice.

I played Debussy's Deux Arabesque and they still don't like it.  I play Besaid Island and the still don't like it.. i evn play Zelda's Fairy fountain theme and the still don't like it.. I also played
Fur Elise
Alla Tura by Mozart
Claire de Lune
A bunch of melancholic anime songs
Compte de Etre

all of it annoys them

In my opinion, i play good.  To me, piano seems to be the only skill that i have.  Its also the only passion I've ever had in life.  Its something that I see myself doing in the future.  But if people don't like how i play, how am I to see piano as a career option?

If my family won't acknowledge me then what chance do i have of playing for an audiance?

Anyone else deat with or is dealing with it?  How should i cope with this situation?
Quit it? or Keep going? (In terms of using it as a career)

[arensky]

That's really awful to have the people you love and who love you (ostensiby) reject the one thing that you really love. 


I think you should keep playing the piano since you feel passionate about it as you say. As far as making a living at it goes that's a tough road to hoe, I know it for a fact. And my family was supportive.

Do you have a teacher or are you on your own? If you have a teacher you should get their advice about this situation. Has anyone outside of your family heard you play? If not, you should play for people outside of your family to get another opinion about your playing. You could always post something here in the audition room for feedback if you feel comfortable doing that.

In the meantime keep those headphones on  , practice the acoustic piano when they're not home and hang in there. Since you love this, you should not stop! Someday your family's opinions will not matter so much...

[ilikepie]

There are only a few possibilities really:
1. you must really really reallly suck if your parents hate it so much.
2. your parents don't like piano(or any instruments at all).
3. your piano doesn't like you
4. your piano sucks
5. by some insane possibility, everything you find remotely interesting, is something your parents hate.

[ihatepop]

iduunohow2play, I've got a piece of advice for you. NEVER GIVE UP ON WHAT YOU LOVE! If you believe that you play well, just do it. In my opinion, your parents should encourage your playing instead of rejecting everything that you play.

ihatepop

[counterpoint]

I played Debussy's Deux Arabesque and they still don't like it.  I play Besaid Island and the still don't like it.. i evn play Zelda's Fairy fountain theme and the still don't like it.. I also played
Fur Elise
Alla Tura by Mozart
Claire de Lune
A bunch of melancholic anime songs
Compte de Etre

all of it annoys them

What a sad and frustrating situation!

The most frustrating thing about it is, that it is your parents, they don't like the music, you love so much. If it were some other people, you could say: "they don't like it - but that doesn't matter". Saying this from his own parents needs, that you are very sure about what you do - and very sure, that your parents don't know much about music. I think, that's the point, where you should try to reach. You know the music - your parents don't know it.

I was in a similar situation when I was a teenager. I did compose my first own music and I liked to play Schönberg, Prokofieff etc. very much. My parents didn't understand anything from it and had no good word for what I did. It were very hard times for me. Even my piano teacher had an antipathy to the music I loved so much.

So the only thing you can do is go your way, do what you like and don't let you put down by people, who don't understand anything of it - no matter, who it is.
And find some people, who understand you. Since you are arrived at pianostreet forum, the chances are very, very good 

[rc]

That's rough man.  I'm somewhere in between, my Dad is very supportive of my music, but my Mom doesn't really seem to care, I don't think she's heard me play in a year or two (divorced parents btw).

One possible perspective I can understand is that when you're living with them, practicing piano CAN become intrusive when they're trying to do something else.  If, for example, watching the football game on TV is important to them, they're getting right into it and then your practicing could become annoying to them.

To me, that scenario in reverse is when I'm very focused in my practice and somebody starts noisily doing the dishes in the next room, it'll drive me nuts! heh.

I'm not sure if this is your case, but in this scenario - where my practicing can be an interruption for whatever the others are doing - it's really just a conflict of interests, nobody is truely in the wrong.  I do what Arensky recommended, do most of my practice through headphones and try to play the acoustic piano when it won't bother anyone.

[rc]

...If they simply don't like the music you could look for a more appreciative audience. Some people can take it personally and really get agitated when they have to listen to music they don't like.  I was like this for a while when I was a kid.  It's immature, but what can you do about somebody else's attitude?

I find most people are fairly neutral towards classical music.  There are a handful of people in my life who can appreciate it.  My favorite audience is an old school friend and his mother, because they both like to hear it.

But you can also take peoples neutral or negative perceptions of the music you love as a bit of a challenge - to help them see the good in the music...  We call know this music is beautiful, it's a matter of helping people who aren't so immersed in it to understand.

So you can do things like giving simple explainations of the music before you play it for someone.  Show them with examples the reasons that a classical sonata is built the way it is (why contrasting movements? what does 'sonata' mean?),  explain what a fugue is before you play it.  Give some interesting bits of biography of the composer.  Maybe you could bring up a movie scene that had the piece playing in the background...  Minor-key Bach -> diamonds are forever (they'll associate it with sophisticated, black & white romantic imagery from jewellery commercials).

The idea is to get your audience involved, and give some meaning and context to the music, so they when you play the piece they can be more focused and actually listening to the music.  They'll  be much more likely to enjoy it, it won't seem so much like some pointless, ancient, outdated jumble of notes.

[amitmis]

I've just relized that my parents don't like how i play piano.  It was when I had to buy an electronic piano w/ headphones just to be able to practice on my own without my parents telling me to please everytime i practice.

I played Debussy's Deux Arabesque and they still don't like it.  I play Besaid Island and the still don't like it.. i evn play Zelda's Fairy fountain theme and the still don't like it.. I also played
Fur Elise
Alla Tura by Mozart
Claire de Lune
A bunch of melancholic anime songs
Compte de Etre

all of it annoys them

In my opinion, i play good.  To me, piano seems to be the only skill that i have.  Its also the only passion I've ever had in life.  Its something that I see myself doing in the future.  But if people don't like how i play, how am I to see piano as a career option?

If my family won't acknowledge me then what chance do i have of playing for an audiance?

Anyone else deat with or is dealing with it?  How should i cope with this situation?
Quit it? or Keep going? (In terms of using it as a career)

Maybe your parents just don't like this kind of music that you play / piano music...

Ask them what THEY like to hear, and try to play THAT. I am almost sure that they will like it.

By the way, my father doesn't like hearing me too. It is annoying, but he just doesn't like Classical music! I am sure that if I will paly some song he likes, he will love it!

Good Luck!
Amit.

[Bob]

My guess is it's just the sound.  They don't like the extra sound.

I know I wouldn't always want to hear myself all the time.  Just because of the sound.  Add to that practicing -- It's not like everything I do is for listening ears.  Some is to work things out, some is just an exercise, some is just helping me understand theory. 

Or they might not like the style of the piece.

I wouldn't let it get to you too much.  You can't please everyone all the time. 

On the flipside, I've got relatives that just like classical music in the background -- they don't really listen, they just like "classical" in the background.  Great for an audience, but they don't know a lot -- when I make a mistake.... or even just play some chords, they think it's awesome.  That may be the opposite -- more enthusiasm than is necessary.

I would guess they don't have similar tastes in style and you're insulted because they asked you to stop practicing at some point.  I can relate.

If you want it as a career, go for it.  Don't let your parents decide.  They will only be around to listen for a little while longer anyway if you're moving from home soon.   I don't think the video game music is helping your career (as literature, it could help if you really like the pieces, if you learn music theory from them, etc.)

[quantum]

That sucks. 

Both my parents love classical music.  But my dad thinks Boulez, John Cage, and the likes are just noise.  He tells me I should play more Chopin, because more people like it. 

Well, Chopin is one of my favourite composers and I have nothing against playing more of him.  However, I don't let him influence my musical research interests.  If I want to listen to Stockhausen all day long, and study his works I will do so.  I don't like playing music because it's popular or because I think people will drop more mula into my shoebox.  I play because I enjoy the music and I believe in further educating myself and others to it. 

Finnissy is Bliss!  I think I will go learn some Ligeti now.   

[cubber]

hmmm, that reminds me of my mom, whenever there is jazz on tv, her comments are "what kind of music is it, it sucks!", and the reaction are the same to classical music. What she likes is pop, like "britney spears - everytime" and "enrique iglesias", ("omg, so embarassed)

but that's is how it is, some people just don't like classic or jazz which is more complicated than pop. well, too bad for them!

[infectedmushroom]

Try playing "Final Fantasy - To Zanarkand" for them.... If they don't even like that song, than there must be something wrong with your parents or your Piano. 

[overscore]

Anyone else deat with or is dealing with it?  How should i cope with this situation?
Quit it? or Keep going? (In terms of using it as a career)

You just ignore them. It doesn't matter what they think, or what anyone thinks for that matter. If YOU love it and you know you're good at it... to hell with them!

The world is full of people trying to bring you down, especially when you're young. Sadly, friends, family and others close to us are often the worst offenders.

My advice is find some other people with the same passion for piano and ask THEM what they think of your playing. What they have to say may actually be worth listening to.

[rc]

You just ignore them. It doesn't matter what they think, or what anyone thinks for that matter. If YOU love it and you know you're good at it... to hell with them!

The world is full of people trying to bring you down, especially when you're young. Sadly, friends, family and others close to us are often the worst offenders.

My advice is find some other people with the same passion for piano and ask THEM what they think of your playing. What they have to say may actually be worth listening to.

I'm not so sure this is a good attitude to have with people you live with.  To be so selfish is just asking to create more resentment and tension in the home.  That's counterproductive.

Better to take a stand for yourself, while being considerate of others interests - to find a solution that everyone can be happy with.

'To hell with everyone else' can sometimes be useful with strangers who you may never see again, but definitely not for people in your life...  Let alone the ones who put food on the table and roof overhead.

Finding people with the same passion is a good idea though - start here.  Find a way to record and post in the audition room!

[overscore]

I'm not so sure this is a good attitude to have with people you live with.  To be so selfish is just asking to create more resentment and tension in the home. 
To hell with everyone else' can sometimes be useful with strangers who you may never see again, but definitely not for people in your life...  Let alone the ones who put food on the table and roof overhead.

Well I was being metaphorical... I didn't mean for him to actually tell them to go to hell!

You can fundamentally disagree with everything a person believes in and still love them. A lot of parents seem to think that if their child doesn't agree with them it's a betrayal or something. It's not. It's just a difference of opinion.

If his parents don't like his playing, then he shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed by that. He should just take it with a pinch of salt and go and find likeminded people who will understand and appreciate him. That's all I meant.

[danny elfboy]

You should ignore what your parents think
People here have told that since they're your parents this is different
I don't agree
Your parents are individuals, you're an individual and you're not your parents
There's nothing strange if you have different tastes and passions than your parents
Who you are is the result of all the experiences and choices you made not of of your parents genes, that's why you're unique

I think actually your parents are being honest with you and this is a good thing
I think it's better when someone just honestly tell you one doesnt't like something that you like instead of being hypocritical and pretending to love it
There are many people who don't like music just accept it and don't think it is any different because it's your parents telling you that.


Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of to-morrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. - Kahil Gibran -

[rc]

Well I was being metaphorical... I didn't mean for him to actually tell them to go to hell!

You can fundamentally disagree with everything a person believes in and still love them. A lot of parents seem to think that if their child doesn't agree with them it's a betrayal or something. It's not. It's just a difference of opinion.

If his parents don't like his playing, then he shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed by that. He should just take it with a pinch of salt and go and find likeminded people who will understand and appreciate him. That's all I meant.

Oh I see, my bad.  Well then your meaning makes perfect sense, everyone should be proud of their uniqueness.  Funny thing, sometimes when you stand up for yourself in the face of someone who would detract your tastes, they can respect you and even give your music a chance.

I didn't take your post to mean literally saying "go to hell", but more along the lines of ignoring them even though they don't like the music...  If the parents are annoyed by the music, and the student goes on practicing around them knowing that, it'll seem to the parents that he's annoying them deliberately - which is in some ways worse than directly saying "go to hell".

I just reread the OP, and see that he's playing through headphones already...  Guess I got a little lost in my own examples, heh.

[plinkplinkplink]

Get an opinion from your musician friends... if you think you're really good at piano, then you are. But getting honest opinions from friends will convince you further.

Regarding the parents thing... the best thing to do is ignore them, if you play with headphones, great.. they can't say anything. You're playing some nice and not-too-easy pieces (especially Clair De Lune).. so you seem pretty talented to me.

I don't know how old you are, but stick it out til you can move out. Then you can play piano all you want, or find roommates who appreciate your playing/practicing, or better yet, a girlfriend who loves to hear you play and who appreciates classical and anime piano stuff. Melancholy is GOOD.

Don't ever quit something you feel you're good at. I'm 30 now, and my parents never gave a crap about my music at all, and although I'm not a prodigy at any of the instruments I play (except drums), I feel I'm good enough, and friends online who I show my mp3s to all agree that something is definitely there, and they love my stuff. My parents haven't heard more than 2 songs I've written, and I've written probably 400 songs at this point.

So yeah.... ignore them, be respectful to them, but do your own thing.

By the way, I would love to hear some mp3s of your playing. So let me know if you can send me some!

-Chris

[archneko]

HOW CAN THEY NOT LIKE BESAID ISLAND! sorry for the caps, but it is a pretty... pretty song. (Yeah, I'm a FF freak)
 
Just keep playing!  and don't let your parents discourage you, no exceptions. Don't let anyone discourage you.....

[maxy]

number of posts + silly name  ....   this one is a troll   

[tiasjoy]

Performing for other people is one of the joys to playing the piano, but first, we do it for ourselves.  We have to.  We spend S O O O O  much time by ourselves with just the piano that we just wouldn't go the distance if it depended on how other people will react.  Utlimately it's for our own enjoyment, and you WILL find other people who appreciate your ability and the music you make.

[rhapsody in orange]

Well I guess this scenario isn't unique to you. I've got a brother who can't stand me practising on the piano the whole day, and parents who don't particularly like it very much either (just that they're nice enough to voice out).
My solutions:
- try to utilise the pianos in my college
- practise with the practice pedal down when they're around, and practise as much as i can once they're out
- sometimes i'd go over to my friend's place to practise (when there's a separate room for the piano and the folks don't really mind the noise)

[ryanyee]

or play Beethoven's pianoforte sonatas. maybe try playing pieces which suits their personality.

[valor]

I've just relized that my parents don't like how i play piano.  It was when I had to buy an electronic piano w/ headphones just to be able to practice on my own without my parents telling me to please everytime i practice.

I played Debussy's Deux Arabesque and they still don't like it.  I play Besaid Island and the still don't like it.. i evn play Zelda's Fairy fountain theme and the still don't like it.. I also played
Fur Elise
Alla Tura by Mozart
Claire de Lune
A bunch of melancholic anime songs
Compte de Etre

all of it annoys them

In my opinion, i play good.  To me, piano seems to be the only skill that i have.  Its also the only passion I've ever had in life.  Its something that I see myself doing in the future.  But if people don't like how i play, how am I to see piano as a career option?

If my family won't acknowledge me then what chance do i have of playing for an audiance?

Anyone else deat with or is dealing with it?  How should i cope with this situation?
Quit it? or Keep going? (In terms of using it as a career)

Just ignore them and continue playing, not all people like the same thing afterall. If you really want to impress your parents you should try finding out what sort of music they're interested in. Heres a suggestion, if you want to know what other people think about your playing just go somewhere where theres a piano you can play and just play, I do this whenever I go to the mall or a store and I do get attention, I remember a pianist liked my playing, and by the looks of it he was really experienced.

Btw, FINAL FANTASY rules!!! (I've played final battle from IX, Kujas theme, Thunder plains, To Zanarkand, VII main theme, Aurons theme [They were all simple though, except Final Battle, I'm taking up more difficult ones now]).

[bench warmer]

Get a set of Drums and bang-the-hell-out-of-'em. Tell your parents you've found your calling with those babies.

They will plead for you to play the piano. Remember, most painful or joyful things are on a relative scale. They'll think they're back in Heaven when you quit the Drums & return to the piano.

[amelialw]

just keep on playing the piano..if it's your true passions, nothing's gonna stop you.

For me, my mom and dad and ok with it, they just go with the flow of what my teacher wants for me, my mom sometimes gets annoying just this morning she was talking about how my piano playing could get sloppy if I did'nt do this or that and I just told her that she did'nt know or understand anything cauz she does'nt. My older sister is totally supportive but she's in singapore still  she even't volunteered to pay for part of my music academy fees next year.

my uncle as I mentioned in previous threads is halfway, I day he is supportive, the next day he's not. The rest, some are really supportive, some could'nt care less.

But my friends are all supportive..they are awesome!

[lostinidlewonder]

At least your parents are not encouraging you if you really are bad. That can be worse when reality eventually hits you.

Still you should always think you are crap at playing, its the only way you push yourself to improve. As soon as you are satisfied you will become a bad player!

What Rc said, post a recording, then you can get some other opinions on your playing. You should try to get your parents to admit you are getting better if that would make you happier

[amelialw]

you should always think you play like crap, that does not help...just always think that there are people who are better than you. If you really love the piano and are passionate enough, you will always have the motivation to push yourself. I don't need any more than that right now and I never am satistified with myself until I get something perfected in all angles and know that i've pushed myself to the max but before i perfect something I will always set a new goal or start a new piece.

Yes do post a few recordings

[rimv2]

I've just relized that my parents don't like how i play piano.  It was when I had to buy an electronic piano w/ headphones just to be able to practice on my own without my parents telling me to please everytime i practice.

I played Debussy's Deux Arabesque and they still don't like it.  I play Besaid Island and the still don't like it.. i evn play Zelda's Fairy fountain theme and the still don't like it.. I also played
Fur Elise
Alla Tura by Mozart
Claire de Lune
A bunch of melancholic anime songs
Compte de Etre

all of it annoys them

In my opinion, i play good.  To me, piano seems to be the only skill that i have.  Its also the only passion I've ever had in life.  Its something that I see myself doing in the future.  But if people don't like how i play, how am I to see piano as a career option?

If my family won't acknowledge me then what chance do i have of playing for an audiance?

Anyone else deat with or is dealing with it?  How should i cope with this situation?
Quit it? or Keep going? (In terms of using it as a career)

Mah mom found some of mah old art in the garage the other day. She then suggested that perhaps she should "throw this trash away."

You are not alone

[guendola]

It can be extremely hard to find out why parents don't like what one is doing. You should at least try to talk to them and find out more. Is it the pieces you are playing, the way you are playing them, the piano sound or is it just anything that you do?

But don't give up your passion lightly! There are more people in the world to judge your playing, just a little harder to find than parents.

Actually, what does your teacher say?

[thalberg]

I've just relized that my parents don't like how i play piano.  It was when I had to buy an electronic piano w/ headphones just to be able to practice on my own without my parents telling me to please everytime i practice.

I played Debussy's Deux Arabesque and they still don't like it.  I play Besaid Island and the still don't like it.. i evn play Zelda's Fairy fountain theme and the still don't like it.. I also played
Fur Elise
Alla Tura by Mozart
Claire de Lune
A bunch of melancholic anime songs
Compte de Etre

all of it annoys them

In my opinion, i play good.  To me, piano seems to be the only skill that i have.  Its also the only passion I've ever had in life.  Its something that I see myself doing in the future.  But if people don't like how i play, how am I to see piano as a career option?

If my family won't acknowledge me then what chance do i have of playing for an audiance?

Anyone else deat with or is dealing with it?  How should i cope with this situation?
Quit it? or Keep going? (In terms of using it as a career)

When I was growin up, my mother HATED my playing and made me stop practicing most days.  I really didn't get to practice much until I went to college because my mother just couldn't stand it and she was always home.  I have some recordings in the audition room.  If you listen to them ,you can hear that I'm not horrible enough for my mother to hate it and make me stop playing.  Sometimes parents are just like that.

[kelly1995]

Why dont you just ask them straight out if they think your Playing rots? Find out. I mean they let you play right? Maybe your not interperting there responses correctly.  Find out if there is any music they like and learn it and play it for them.  I love my dad, but he is an idiot when it comes to musical taste.  He always tells me he loves my playing, but he hasnt a clue when im having a great day, or a not so good day.

Bottom line, stop gussing and find out.

Kelly