Have you ever been in this situation??

[CW]

Just wondering if any of you have been in this situation...some advice would be greatly appreciated.

Today I took over the students of a teacher who is leaving. One student stood out in particular largely because the lesson barely got off the ground before she had a massive tantrum.

I was getting her to play a piece she had done with the old teacher and so she did that. She started the same piece again and about halfway through I asked her to stop. Upon hearing that, she totally went through the roof-she banged the piano with both hands, got off the stool, stormed to the corner of the room and started screaming and crying extremely loudly.
It was so loud that her mum came back into the room (she was outside with her 2 boys as they were too noisy to stay in the room) and started asking what was going on to which her daughter through all the screaming and crying said "she wouldn't let me finish playing" which is total crap coz all I did was ask her to stop playing so I could explain something.
Anyway, we tried to continue the lesson but the child would constantly hit my hands away when I tried to show her something and continued to cry and scream so loudly that the teachers in the next room and in the store could hear her.  Needless to say, I am extremely traumatised...

[cziffra]

i have never been in that situation but if i ever were to come across a student like that i would not tolerate it for a minute.  i would lay down the law and say "you either behave like a sensible human being or you simply do not bother to come to the lesson, because i WILL not teach someone so disrespectful and childish." and then add a snidy little comment like "i have seen more mature behaviour in toddlers, and i've certainly had more attentive pupils who weren't even half your age."  

each time a sudent does something like that and you let it happen, you teach her that it is acceptable for her to do such things.  

[lc3606]

Is this a student with special needs?  The parents don't always say, especially if the child is being main-streamed at school.  It could be a student with disabilities - which would explain way the previous teacher continued to work with her.  It doesn't mean that you need to continue with this student, but it would explain things a bit.

[chopiabin]

How old is she? Maybe she was very attached to her old teacher and feels that your asking her to stop was like "barging in" on what they had together. You should talk to her mother and find out the reason for the tantrum.

[bernhard]

Cziffra is right. Life is too short and teaching the piano is too difficult to have to put up with this sort of behaviour.

You mentioned that mother was in the next room because the borthers were too noisy. It may just be a pattern of education.

Although I believe in friendliness towards a student, and ultimately respect, my personal philosophy is that the teacher is the final authority (that's why the teacher is the teacher and teh student the student) and the student must recognise this, or no teaching/learning will ever take place.

Although your behaviour may have been different form the behaviour of her previous teacher her reaction was certainly unusual and highly inappropriate.

I would refer her to another teacher.

Best wishes,
Bernhard.

[ted]

There is no excuse for this behaviour. Drop her. What on earth is the matter with the mother ? Why didn't she take your part and discipline her daughter ? Just get rid of them; there are plenty of more deserving kids around.

[minsmusic]

I can't believe you tried to continue the lesson!

You deserve more respect than that.  Demand it.
Being understanding and friendly is essential I know, BUT -
give the mother a ring.  Let her know how the tantrum made you feel.  Ask if she's ever done this before.

I don't think you need to drop her straight away.  Everyone deserves a second chance - but only equipped with the above information!

You may also need to tell this child what will be expected of them BEFORE they begin playing.

Also, I know some of my students get frustrated if I stop them without warning.  I don't do it that often.  I take notes instead, and then go over the point.  THey know when it's "THEIR' turn and they wait for "MY" turn.

Maybe you need to try this strategy with this child.

Don't give up on her.  But don't put up with that either.  IF she does it again and and you've done everything on your part to make sure of a tantrum free lesson, STOP  the lesson immediately.  APOLOGISE to the mother.  EXPLAIN the atmosphere is no longer conducive to teaching or learning.  Dump her there and then, or, try again next week.  No doubt the mother will throw a tantrum herself, so if need be, during the first phone call, let the mother know what your strategy will be if it happens again.

Stand your ground.  Perserver for about three weeks.  If the situation doesn't improve, recommend another teacher.  Get in contact with that teacher, tell her why you're letting this student go, ask if she's willing to take the child on, if so, ring the mother and let her know the 'new' teacher's details.  Blame yourself.  Say you don't feel well enough equipped for this and you want her daughter to have the best lessons possibe.

I know, it sucks, but who needs an irate mother yelling at you for giving up.  Maybe this way it might go smoother.

Let us know how it goes.  ANd cheer up.  Get strong.  Don't allow little kiddies and their over protective mummies traumatise you.

[Chitch]

I see where you're coming from, cyl_wong. When I took over teaching for the teacher who had left, I had to dismiss the very first student because anytime I would point out middle C on the piano she would play E and begin crying. I called her mother to sit in on the next lesson and she sat by the entire 30 minutes watching me correct her about 12 times on the same mistake. When I asked "why can't she remember where middle C is?" her mother responded very irately "SHE'S JUST A LITTLE GIRL! BE PATIENT!". You guessed it, here comes the rhetoric...how is a child suppose to learn if the parents use the exuse "She's just a little girl" when being asked a question as simple as where is middle C?

I haven't had to dismiss anyone else since then...yay