I'm changing

[mycrabface]

Hey usually I look on the negative side of things and find fault with people, thus starting arugements, and in the end screwing my own perfect beautiful day, but, something happened today. Its actually someone else's fault and he comes knocking on my door telling me off and scolding me, being rude, hurling vulgarities at my face, being sarcastic at me. No fair! What did I do to deserve that? Nothing! So usually if this kind of thing happens, i just blow my top, but today I didn't!  I just told him to suck it up and be a good sport like me (indierctly).

Okay another thing. I've been learning from the best (Oh for example Hinton, Prometheus, Thal, these are just a few) in their way of arguing. I know they're intelligent people and they show it. And now by reading what they write, compared to my usual quarrel buddies, I practically win every fight! Woot!

[pianistimo]

yes. the less said the better.  who should know this better than me.  indirectly, i've learned from my hubby.  he never really gets majorly po'd most of the time.  at first, i thought it meant he didn't have deep felt feelings about certain things.  turns out - he really does - but it's harder for some people to 'tell all.' thus, you have to drag it out of them.  about the only thing that will make my husband mad now - is if i say i threw something out.  he doesn't care if it's a scrap of paper or an old highschool textbook.  in our house, throwing something out is tantamount to murder.  explain that?!  where's cmg?  he might be able to explain this behavior.

anyways - as i see it - someone starts screaming and you count backwards from 100 or leave and go in the bathroom.  unless,  you know them really well and just use 'charm.'  my  husband does this.  i get really mad - and he takes his glasses off and looks at me really nice.  it's terrible.  but it works.  also, something i really appreciate about my husband is that he really does hear me if i have a complaint.  and, he tries to make it 'better.'  it works both ways.  i mean - if you are thinking of how to make the other person's life better - then you don't have much time for how to make it worse.

[jpianoflorida]

yes it's very very tough, but when someone starts if you can keep saying   "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "I'm so sorry you are upset with me"      over and over it will get them so annoyed they won't know what to do!   I've tried that with students when they don't want to do what I ask.  I say "I'm so sorry you don't want to be here today". IT will totally shock them.

[prometheus]

I don't understand exactly what you are saying but it sounds positive.

I am tring to generally make intelligent and informative posts.


As for change in personality. If your personality and your thoughts are static then I think that is bad.

[jpianoflorida]

I don't understand exactly what you are saying but it sounds positive.

I am tring to generally make intelligent and informative posts.


As for change in personality. If your personality and your thoughts are static then I think that is bad.

basically I'm saying that most people (and I'm talking about our in person contacts)  , if they start and argument with you , they want you to argue back or fight back!   If you try to ignore them and just don't give in to their anger, it neutralizes them, they can't continue to argue if you aren't arguing back.     BUT that is very hard to do, I like to "say what I think" but I'm trying to take this advice and not give in to peoples arguments.

[prometheus]

I was responding to mycrabface
.

[gorbee natcase]

Thats because you realise that with anything possitive and constructive you have to sacrifice something. Dont stop poking though or you might become joyless